by Lucy Diamond
It had been the first evening for months and months – over a year actually, now that she thought about it – that she’d spent alone with a man, chatting and laughing and getting to know one another. Not that anything had happened between them, she reminded herself. He was only being neighbourly, calling on her like that. It was just the kind of person he was – friendly and nice and …
She was smiling again. There was a skittery feeling that leapt inside her whenever she thought about him. She felt like a schoolgirl, daydreaming about her first crush. A silly crush, that was all it was. It wasn’t as if she was going to do anything with him. It was just nice to spend some time with a man. A handsome man. A handsome, charming, really rather lovely man.
Thank goodness for that storm, though! It had rumbled on for at least an hour, by which time they’d managed to drink nearly all of his peace-offering wine. And by then, they’d got over the initial awkwardness and she felt as if they were old friends. Oh yes, and nothing was going on with Natasha either – Alice had asked him outright after the second glass of wine, and he’d told her it had been a stupid teenage thing years ago, but now he couldn’t stand the woman. Alice had all but danced on the spot, she’d been so pleased. Because Natasha was clearly not good enough for Dom, that was all. No other reason whatsoever.
He’d kissed her on the cheek when he’d said goodbye and she’d wobbled slightly on tiptoes trying not to lean into him. Oh! It was just nice to be held by a man again, a man who wasn’t her dad … She’d held her breath, wondering if he would go any further. She’d be up for it, if he tried to kiss her properly, she knew it.
He hadn’t tried to kiss her properly, though. Just as well, she supposed. She might have tried to snog the hell out of him, and then where would they be? He probably didn’t fancy her in the slightest anyway. But that was all right. Yes – it was really all right. Alice was fine just swooning and smiling from afar, nursing her secret crush.
Humming cheerfully, she went to dress Iris and make them both breakfast. Village life was certainly looking up, after its shaky start.
Later that morning, Alice needed to stock up on essentials, so wandered down to the village shop. She left the buggy outside and carried Iris on her hip while she negotiated the aisles, dumping milk, baked beans and Red Leicester cheese into her wire basket. It was slow and tricky going about carrying Iris and the basket, and she found herself wishing she’d lunched it and gone to the Tesco instead. She wished that even more a few minutes later.
She rounded the corner and saw Jen and Mags browsing the rack of magazines, completely ignoring Mrs Smithers’ belligerent scowl. ‘All right, Alice?’ Jen asked, pausing her thumbing through the pages of Heat magazine to glance her way.
Annoyingly, Alice found herself turning pink at the question as an image of her and Dom laughing about something or other the night before flashed into her mind. ‘Fine,’ she said, not quite meeting Jen’s eye. ‘You?’
‘Oh yeah, not bad, ta,’ Jen replied. ‘Just catching up on the latest goss, you know.’
Mrs Smithers gave a loud, deliberate cough from behind the counter. This too was ignored.
‘Ooh, look, they’ve got a photo here of that gorgeous Leo off Flying High,’ Mags said, jabbing at one of the glossy pages of her magazine. ‘He’s lush, isn’t he?’
Alice’s heart seemed to skip a beat at the words. All of a sudden her mouth was dry. ‘Anyway, nice to see you—’ she began, wanting to get away from the conversation. She tried to squeeze past Jen, but the aisle was narrow and there wasn’t room.
Jen was busy leaning over to see the picture. ‘Phwooar, he’s lovely,’ she agreed. ‘I’d join the Mile High Club with him any day. Hey, did you see the news about him this morning on GMTV?’
‘No? What?’ Mags looked up in interest.
Iris let out a squeal as Alice gripped her too tightly. What news about Jake on GMTV?
‘Well, do you remember, there was all that scandal when he dumped his wife and got it together with what’s-her-name—’ Jen ducked her head back to the magazine to double-check ‘—Victoria Hartley, who’s Amelia in the TV programme?’
Alice was finding it hard to breathe. Did she remember? Ha ha. Would she ever be able to forget, more like.
‘Oh yeah, vaguely,’ Mags replied. ‘That poor cow. Up the duff, wasn’t she? I remember.’
‘Well, apparently he and that Victoria were seen having a huge row. The reporter on GMTV was saying they’ve split up, and everything. I bet it’s tense on set there right now.’
‘God, yeah, you wouldn’t want to be working with them, would you?’ Mags said. ‘What’s his name again, the actor?’
‘Jake,’ Alice said, her fingers shaking uncontrollably on the wire handles of her shopping basket. ‘His name’s Jake Archer.’ The basket of food fell to the floor with a crash and Iris let out a yell of surprise, but Alice barely noticed. She pushed a hand through her hair wildly, Jen’s words still ringing around her head, echoing over and over. Jake and Victoria splitting up? Oh my God. This could be major. This could be seismic. Did it mean … ? Could it possibly mean … ? She let out a gulp. Might there be a chance that Jake would actually come back to her?
‘Are any of you ladies going to pay for your goods any time soon?’ Mrs Smithers barked, flinty-eyed.
This time they all ignored her. Alice was dimly aware of Jen looking strangely at her. And then Jen clapped a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. ‘Oh my God!’ she screamed, pointing a triumphant finger straight at Alice. ‘That’s where I know you from! I knew I recognized you, didn’t I say? You’re her, aren’t you? You’re the wife!’
Alice nodded dumbly, feeling as if she might very well faint. ‘Yes,’ she managed to say. ‘I’m the wife. I’m the poor cow.’
It was like a weird dream, the next few minutes. Alice turned on her heel and ran out of the shop – ‘Excuse ME!’ she heard Mrs Smithers call shrilly – and then Mags and Jen were running after her, both agog with this breaking news – speechless for at least five seconds, before launching into a series of breathless questions. ‘So you were married to him, you were married to Leo? I mean, Jake?’
‘Oh my God, I can’t believe it, Alice, is this a wind-up?’
‘Is it true, he’s hung like a carthorse? Only I’ve always thought he looks like he is, from when he’s been on telly, you know, the way he stands …’
‘So is Iris his daughter? Oh my God – she is, isn’t she? Jake Archer’s daughter in this village!’
Alice was trying to strap Iris back in the buggy but she was all thumbs. At the last words – almost shrieked with excitement – she felt sick. ‘Leave Iris out of this,’ she said, anger thumping through her.
But Mags and Jen were staring at her daughter now, their eyes wide. ‘She does look like him,’ Mags said in a hushed voice. ‘Sorry, Alice – I’m just stunned. I mean – what if he’s split up with this Victoria to come back to you?’
Alice swallowed. Don’t say it, Mags, she wanted to wail. She still couldn’t actually believe it was true. Jake and Victoria finished, the affair over? It hadn’t sunk in yet. She was stunned at the idea. Speechless. And oh, she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding, her hands from trembling, whenever she dared dwell on the possibility of Jake coming back to her …
‘I’ve got to go,’ she said abruptly, wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand. ‘I can’t think straight. I need to get back to the house in case he rings, or tries to get in touch. I mean, I know it might be nothing … They might still be together, but …’
‘Good idea,’ Jen said, nodding enthusiastically. ‘Want me to come with you?’
‘No,’ Alice replied. No way did she want nosy Jen hovering over her, grilling her with more questions and earwigging on any phone calls.
‘Are you sure you’ll be all right on your own?’ Mags asked. ‘I mean … if you change your mind … This must be a big shock.’
‘I’ll be fine, honest,’ Alice said, avoiding their gazes. ‘
I just need to go home.’ She felt light-headed as she got to her feet and gripped the buggy handles. Thank goodness she had them to cling on to – she didn’t think she could walk anywhere on her own right now. ‘I’ll … I’ll see you soon. Please – please don’t tell anyone about this yet.’
They exchanged glances. Like they’d be able to keep quiet about such a huge piece of news! ‘’Course not,’ Jen assured her. ‘Bye Alice,’ they chorused.
She could feel their eyes upon her as she stumbled through the trees towards the cottage. It would be all over the village within seconds, she knew that already. She could almost hear the high-pitched excited voices.
You know Alice? You’ll never GUESS who she used to be married to. You’ll never guess!
Have you heard? Alice – you know, the new one in the village? Her daughter was only fathered by Jake Flipping Archer! Yeah – the fit one off the telly!
Oh Christ. Just what she didn’t want. The whole village knowing the truth about her failed marriage with love-cheat Jake. She could already imagine the meaningful looks she would get from now on. The whispers behind her back, the stares into the buggy, all the intrusive personal questions … Oh God. So much for her quiet rural existence. Iris would never be able to grow up free from glances and raised eyebrows. Would Jen and Mags go to the papers, even, she wondered? Would the village be invaded by journalists? Her stomach clenched at the thought of the long-range cameras and hard-eyed hacks shouting questions at her, Georgia Backstabber Knight leading the pack, no doubt.
But then again, if that was the price she had to pay for Jake coming back …
Well. No question. She’d suffer it like a shot. She’d put up with the lot of it, if it meant that she’d be back with him – husband, wife and daughter together, one happy little family. Tears rolled down her hot cheeks. Oh, if only. She’d give anything for that, anything.
She could hardly see where she was going through the tears, and stumbled blindly through the village. She didn’t care if anyone saw her like this, crying in the middle of the day. They’d be talking about that too, no doubt. Barmy, heartbroken, jilted Alice. She was certainly making her mark on this place, you had to give her that. So much for blending into the background.
She all but ran the rest of the way home, ignoring the curious stares of the old couple she saw in the main street, aware that she looked a state, tear-streaked and wild-eyed. Why hadn’t she brought her mobile out with her? For all she knew, Jake could have been trying to call her. Oh, what was going on in his head? She was desperate to know!
A thought struck her then. Had she even connected her home phone yet? There were still so many things she hadn’t got around to unpacking and sorting out yet. Wouldn’t it be typical if she’d missed a call after waiting for so long for one?
Her heart leapt into her throat as she burst through the front door of the house, leaving Iris stranded in her buggy as she ran to the phone. Yes, it was plugged in … but the sound was off. Oh no! So calls had been coming in all week but she’d not heard them! Her mouth dry, she checked the display panel … and let out a cry. Thirty-seven messages, it said. Thirty-seven messages!
Oh my goodness. Her fingers trembled as she slid the ringer switch to on. Had she accidentally turned it off when she’d packed the phone, she wondered, or—
Realization dawned. Of course. The last time she’d used that phone had been way back when the news had broken about Jake, last year, when she’d been living in London. She’d switched the bloody thing off for the last few days of being in the flat, when she’d got fed up of it ringing round the clock with grasping journos all wanting to get their pound of flesh. Then it had been packed up with the rest of her stuff, in a box in her parents’ garage for all the months in between. She hadn’t thought to check the ringer when she’d unpacked it again. And all the while, people had been trying to get through to her!
She pressed the Play button and sat back on her heels.
‘You have … thirty … seven … messages,’ the machine announced. ‘Message one.’
‘Alice, this is Pete again from the Sun. Come on, sweetheart, pick up, we know you’re in there. We’re offering you a very nice deal on an exclusive, so …’
She pressed the Delete button before he could go any further, and grimaced. Talk about a blast from the past. There were twelve more similar calls from the press and they made her skin crawl. It was weird to think their voices had been logged on her phone for over a year.
Then there was a leap forward in time: message fourteen was from her mum. ‘Hello, love, just seeing how you’re getting on in your new home. It’s strange here without you! We’ve found a couple of Iris’s vests and socks in the laundry, so I’ll iron them and have them ready for you next time we see you. Speak to you soon.’
There were another six messages from her mum, getting increasingly concerned. Was Alice all right? Why wasn’t she returning her calls? Alice’s mobile didn’t seem to be switched on either – was everything okay?
Alice felt stricken with guilt as she skimmed through them. She’d been so caught up in her new life that she’d barely thought to consider her poor old mum, waiting to hear how she was getting on. And she wasn’t even sure where her mobile was now. It must have run out of charge. Had Iris stashed it somewhere, she wondered uneasily?
‘Hiya, it’s Katie. Just to tip you off that Georgia’s been asking for your number. I didn’t give it to her because I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from her, but I’ve got her mobile number if you do, so just let me know. By the way, I saw the news about Jake this morning. Hope you’re okay. Ring me soon for a chat, won’t you?’
Alice felt her hackles rise. Georgia had been asking for her number? Of all the nerve!
‘Message twenty-five,’ the robotic answerphone voice said. Beep!
‘Alice, hi, it’s me, Georgia.’ Talk of the devil. Alice flinched at her old friend’s voice – brisk and business-like. The bitch. ‘I’m ringing up with some news. It’s about Jake.’ A pause – for dramatic effect, no doubt. Too late, Georgia. She’d already heard. ‘Could you give me a ring, please? No catch.’ Another pause. ‘Oh, and Alice? I’m sorry about what happened. Truly. I owe you one. So give me a ring and we can talk.’
Sickening. Absolutely sickening. Alice jabbed the Pause button of the machine, feeling furious. Who the hell did Georgia bloody Knight think she was anyway? She went to let Iris out of the buggy, not wanting to listen to any more messages for the time being, but saw that her daughter had nodded off, her sun hat drooping over one eye, her baby chest rising and falling with deep sleepy breaths. Just the sight of her was calming, and Alice stood for a few moments watching her, letting her heartbeat subside. There was a bad taste in her mouth and she flicked on the kettle before remembering too late that there was no milk. Duh.
God. What a day this was turning out to be. What a mad day. Alice put her head in her hands, Georgia’s words echoing around her head. What got her most was that tacked-on apology at the end. That Oh yeah, sorry by the way that I stabbed you in the back last year. Truly.
Truly, indeed. Truly! As if Georgia even knew the meaning of the word. God! What was she like? Did she really think Alice was stupid enough, forgiving enough that she’d fall for that? Did she really think that throwing in a sorry now, a whole year too late, was going to swing it?
Not bloody likely.
She pressed the Play button again, warily, as if she was putting her finger into a tank full of piranhas.
‘Hi Alice, Chloe Wells from the Sun here. Just ringing for a reaction to the news about Jake … He’s not hiding out with you, is he? Give us a call, we’d love to talk to you …’
‘Alice, hi, it’s Georgia again. I guess you’re out. I’ll keep trying you, okay?’
‘Hello, message for Alice, this is Jessica Miller from the Mail. Just wanted to get your take on the Jake and Victoria split. Has he been in touch? How do you feel about him these days? The number here is …’
‘
Alice, it’s Dad. We’ve had a lot of people ringing up for your new number. Is everything all right, love? Should we come over?’
‘Alice, it’s Chloe again. Give us a bell, darling, we’re very keen to speak to you …’
‘Mum again. Mrs Burton from down the road just told me the news about Jake. Are you all right, lovey? I’m starting to get a bit worried that we’ve not heard from you. Has he been in touch? Please call, just to let me know you’re all right. I’ve been out all morning but your dad says the phone’s been going mad here, lots of people wanting to get hold of you. The daft eejit has given out your number, I’m so sorry, love, I hope you’ve not been plagued by calls. Maybe that’s why you’re not answering? He won’t do it again, anyway, my orders. Okay. Bye, then.’
And so it went on … and on … and on. But the one person she’d been hoping to hear from hadn’t called. Well, there was a surprise. She should have known better. Because really, what on earth could he have said, to make things all right again?
I’ve been such a pillock. But I’m going to make it up to you, Alice, I swear!
No – she wouldn’t believe that for a second. And how could you possibly ‘make up’ the first eight months of your child’s life to them? Too late, mate. He’d never get that time back now.
I treated you so badly. I lost the plot. I would give anything for a second chance, Alice. Anything.
Hmmm. Better. But she wasn’t a pushover – it would take a lot more than that.
