by Penny Jordan
Suddenly Suzy was conscious of the silence surrounding them. The curious looks of the customers and the angry face of her supervisor.
‘If you leave this till now you will be in breach of your employment terms and your job could be at risk,’ the supervisor was intoning.
‘She’ll be handing in her notice anyway,’ Luke answered coldly.
Handing in her notice? Suzy glared at him.
‘You can’t say that!’ she hissed, as Luke put his hand beneath her elbow and almost frogmarched her away from the till. ‘I need this job, Luke.’
‘What you need and what I need are not my prime concerns right now,’ Luke told her flatly. ‘Our child’s needs are.’
He shouldn’t be feeling like this, Luke told himself. He shouldn’t be feeling triumphant, exuberant, delighted that the child Suzy was carrying—his child—meant that he had a logical and undeniable reason for forcing his way into her life. But he was!
Our child! Suzy could have wept.
Outside in the car park he bundled her into a large four-wheel drive vehicle and then got in himself. It was nearly four months since she had seen him. And he hadn’t even looked at her properly, never mind attempted to touch her…kiss her…
‘I’ve just got back from seeing the children,’ Luke said to her. ‘They’re well enough to receive treatment from a hospital in their own country now, and their aunt has officially taken charge of them.’
‘Oh, Luke, that’s such good news,’ Suzy responded in delight.
‘Yes, it is,’ he agreed quietly. ‘Suzy, why didn’t you let me know about the baby?’
‘Let you know?’ she stared at him. ‘I…’
How could she tell him that she hadn’t wanted him to feel responsible, that she hadn’t wanted him to feel that she had deliberately allowed herself to become pregnant in order to trap him. He already knew how much she loved him, and she imagined that in a man’s eyes a woman who became pregnant with his child after he had rejected her had to be doing so in order to force his hand.
She didn’t feel she could tell him any of that, so instead, she simply said huskily, ‘I…I just didn’t think that it was necessary.’
Luke felt the pain of her words explode inside him.
‘I heard from Peter the other day. He mentioned that you’ve kept in touch with the children,’ he announced abruptly.
‘Yes…yes, I have,’ Suzy agreed. ‘I feel so sorry for them. They need a woman in their lives who loves them. A stepmother, perhaps.’
As she spoke Suzy was thinking of the young woman Lucy had written to her about—the daughter of some older friends of Peter’s who had taken quite an interest in Lucy and Charlie.
‘Thinking of applying for the job yourself, are you?’ Luke demanded harshly.
Suzy stared at him, his words coming as a shock after her own private thoughts.
‘How could I?’ She asked. ‘I’m pregnant with your child.’
Her answer wasn’t the one Luke wanted to hear. What he wanted was to hear her telling him, as she had done before, in that soft, loving voice of hers, that she loved him and only him and that she would always do so!
‘Why are you working in that supermarket?’ he asked curtly.
‘Because it was the only place I could get a job!’ Suzy returned tartly. ‘Now that I’m going to have a child to support—’ She stopped and bit her lip. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was trying to get money out of him.
‘You are going to have a child to support?’ Luke demanded as he turned the car in the direction of the motorway. ‘This child is our child, Suzy, and I consider that I have as much responsibility for supporting him or her as you do—if not more.’
‘Luke, where are you taking me?’ Suzy asked, as she silently digested his statement.
Things were happening too fast. She was still in a state of shock. In fact she was still expecting to wake up and open her eyes and find that she had been dreaming!
‘Home,’ Luke replied, further astounding her.
They were heading towards the country, leaving the city behind.
‘Home?’ Suzy queried uncertainly. ‘But…’
‘Where else would I be taking you?’ Luke asked.
‘After all, it’s where you and our child now belong!’
‘I have my own home,’ Suzy protested sharply. ‘I have my flat.’
‘You can’t bring up a child up there,’ Luke told her flatly. ‘And you certainly will not be bringing up my child there.’
Suzy drew in a sharp breath of indignation. ‘There is nothing wrong with my flat,’ she told him. ‘You have no right to do this, Luke.’
‘You are carrying my baby,’ Luke said harshly.
‘How much more right than that do I need?’
‘Maybe I am—but that doesn’t mean that you can just walk into my life and…take over…or kidnap me!’ Suzy wasn’t far from tears of emotional reaction.
‘No? I beg to differ. You see, the way I look at it, Suzy, you gave me some damn important rights when you gave yourself to me—when I gave you my child.’
Shocked into silence, Suzy leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She just could not believe that any of this was happening—that Luke had conducted this swift and effective campaign of repossession which had brought her totally into his power.
As she tried to fight the wave of tiredness that suddenly gripped her Luke turned off the motorway.
‘It isn’t very far now,’ he told her. ‘The estate is just the other side of the village. You’ll be able to see the church spire first.’
Estate…village…church spire. Suzy’s head was thumping with a reactionary headache.
They were right in the heart of the English countryside at its quaint best. Autumn might be just around the corner, but the trees were still in full summer dress—the hedges heavy with leaf, fields of crops waiting to be harvested stretching away from the road.
Suzy saw a sign, Flintock-upon-Adder, and then they were driving through a picturesque village. Its houses clustered around an immaculate green, with weeping willows dipping into the waters of a sedate river and then the road curved past a small Norman church to run alongside a stone wall. Beyond it Suzy could see a small park, and then she caught her breath at the beauty of the Queen Anne house she could just glimpse through the trees.
Luke was turning in to a tree-lined drive and the house lay in front of them.
As he brought the car to a halt outside it Suzy turned and told him determinedly, ‘Luke, I want you to take me back to my own flat.’
‘Not yet,’ Luke refused calmly. ‘Not until we’ve had time to talk. Come on—I’ll take you in and introduce you to Mrs Mattock. She’s the housekeeper—I inherited her along with the house.’
‘You inherited this house?’
‘Yes, from my father. It’s been in the family ever since it was first built.’
Mrs Mattock was calm and welcoming, apparently not in the least bit fazed that Luke had returned with an unexpected guest.
Although she was both pleasant and discreet, Suzy suspected that the housekeeper was well aware of her pregnancy as she escorted her upstairs to a pretty guest bedroom. It was decorated in a simple and traditional style, complete with its own bathroom so that Suzy could, as the housekeeper put it, ‘freshen up’.
‘Mr Luke said that I was to serve tea in the library, miss,’ she informed Suzy before turning to leave. ‘It’s the third door on your left off the hallway. A lovely room it is too. It was the old master’s favourite. He would have been right pleased that Mr Luke had taken it over, that he would!’
From the window of the guest room Suzy could see the house’s lovely English country garden, and the church just visible through the greenery of ancient trees.
In the bathroom, with its plain white sanitaryware, she found immaculate white guest towels and a tablet of what looked like handmade soap. Against her will she found herself thinking what a wonderful home this house would be for a family.
A wonderful home, maybe, but never her home—nor her child’s, she reminded herself sharply as she left the room and headed for the stairs, breathing in the soft scent of lavender and beeswax from the well-polished furniture.
Dutifully following Mrs Mattock’s instructions, she resisted doing more than just peeping inside the half-open door of what was a lovely sunny south-facing sitting room, and headed instead for the door to the library.
Outside the room she paused, reluctant to go in. But determinedly she took a deep breath, and then reached for the door handle and turned it. As she opened the door and walked in, Suzy acknowledged that the very masculine panelled room, with its impressive partners’ desk, suited Luke. She could see that he felt very much at home in this lovely house. But then why shouldn’t he?
‘Suzy.’ As he came towards her she backed away from him. ‘Mrs. Mattock is going to bring us some tea,’ Luke said.
‘Yes. She told me,’ Suzy answered curtly, wondering what on earth they were doing, exchanging such stilted small talk when they had far more important matters to discuss—like Luke’s high-handed virtual abduction of her!
‘Luke, you shouldn’t have done this,’ she said angrily. ‘You have no right to—’
‘To what? To be concerned about the welfare of my child and his or her mother?’
Suzy had to blink frantically to banish her threatening tears. Hormonal emotions, she told herself crossly.
‘This baby I am having wasn’t planned, Luke—we both know that,’ she reminded him. ‘He or she was…was an accident. I don’t consider myself to have any claim on you—and anyway, you don’t…’
‘I don’t what?” Luke probed, when Suzy fell silent without finishing her sentence.
‘Suzy took a deep breath. ‘You don’t love me!’ There—she had said it! ‘You don’t love me. You don’t even like me very much.’
‘I don’t love you?’ Luke gave a harsh laugh.
‘And why on earth did you come to the supermarket in the first place?’ Suzy persisted, ignoring him.
Luke had had enough! It was hell on earth for him, having her standing there in front of him when what he wanted more than anything else was to have her in his arms—her and their child!
‘Why did I come to the supermarket? Why do you think I came?’
Suzy’s heart was beating crazily now, with a mixture of dangerous emotions.
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, wetting her lips nervously with the tip of her tongue. She had been so caught up in Luke’s reaction to the discovery that she was pregnant that she hadn’t been able to think past it and question why he had come looking for her in the first place.
‘In Italy you told me that you loved me,’ Luke said curtly, half turning away from her as he stood staring out of the library window.
Suzy could really feel her heart thumping now. Yes, she had told Luke that she loved him and he had shown her in no uncertain terms that he did not want that love. She had more than her own feelings to consider now. She had her child’s to think of as well! No way was her child going to suffer the same unhappy childhood she had known! For her baby’s sake she needed to be strong.
‘I did say that, yes,’ she acknowledged a little unsteadily. ‘But I realise now that I—’
Idiotically she discovered that something inside her just would not let her say the words I don’t love you!
‘That you made a mistake.’ Luke finished her sentence for her flatly, causing relief to surge through her as he inadvertently rescued her.
‘I…’
Suzy had to bite on her lip to hold back the pain seizing her as she tried to deny her love. Something inside her was telling her that to deny her feelings was as great a betrayal of her child as humiliating herself by loving a man who did not want her.
‘You didn’t have to come to the supermarket to find that out, Luke,’ she said instead. ‘Surely the fact that I haven’t made any attempt to contact you must have reassured you that I—’
‘Reassured me!’ The violence in Luke’s voice as he swung round to confront her silenced her. ‘Reassured me?’ he repeated savagely. ‘What the hell are you talking about, Suzy?’ He broke off abruptly as there was a discreet rap on the door and Mrs Mattock came in wheeling an immaculately set tea trolley, complete with a heavy silver teapot.
‘Will Ms Roberts be staying the night, Mr Luke?’ she asked politely.
‘Yes!’
‘No!’
Locked in mutual anger, Suzy and Luke glared at one another as the housekeeper discreetly departed.
‘Would you like me to pour the tea?’
As Luke nodded tersely Suzy had to quash a hysterical sound of mingled pain and disbelief. Here they were, in the middle of a situation so tense and painful that she felt faint from the stress of it, and she was pouring tea—like someone out of a Victorian novel!
But automatically she went to pick up the heavy teapot.
‘Of course I realised that your belief that you loved me sprang from the trauma you’d undergone,’ she could hear Luke saying tightly behind her. ‘I may have realised I loved you before that event, but—’
The teapot wobbled in Suzy’s hand as shock weakened her muscles. There was tea in the cup, in the saucer, and on the immaculately starched traycloth.
‘Suzy!’
Luke grabbed the heavy silver teapot with one hand and put a steadying arm around her.
‘What did you just say?’ she demanded weakly. She was shaking so much she could hardly stand, and it was heaven to lean into Luke’s warm strength. ‘Are you trying to say that you fell in love with me before I got trapped in the grotto?’ she asked dizzily.
‘Yes. Not that I wanted to admit it. I was still labouring under a misapprehension about you then, and whilst a part of me wanted to be proved right about you, a much larger part of me most certainly did not.’
Suzy was having to struggle to assimilate what he was saying. Luke loved her? Luke had loved her even when he had thought he ought to hate her? Joy was beginning to well up inside her, flooding through her veins.
‘Are you feeling all right?’ Luke was fussing, manlike. ‘Why don’t you come and sit down?’
‘No,’ Suzy told him fiercely. ‘No. I’m not going anywhere, and most especially not out of your arms, Luke, until you tell me exactly when you knew you loved me!’
‘Exactly when?’ Luke looked down into her unguarded face, and what he could see there made his heart start to sing.
‘Probably the first time you kissed me,’ he admitted ruefully. ‘And certainly by the time you ran away from me on that hilltop and I realised that if I didn’t do something you were going to hurt yourself.’
A pink blush stained Suzy’s face as she remembered how he had held her, her body spread on top of his.
‘When I told you I loved you, you rejected me, though,’ she pointed out quietly. She could feel his chest rising and then falling with the intensity of his sigh.
‘I had to, Suzy. It’s well known that the kind of trauma you went through can make a person feel the strongest kind of emotion towards the people they shared it with. I knew I loved you, but I didn’t want to trap you into a relationship when I was afraid that your love might not be the real thing.’
‘Oh, Luke I fell in love with you the moment I set eyes on you,’ Suzy told him softly. ‘I looked at you and it was just as though…I looked at you and I knew you were my soul mate,’ she told him huskily.
For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to make any response, but then he put down the teapot and turned her gently in his arms. Placing one hand on her belly, he whispered softly, ‘Sorry baby, but I think you’d better close your eyes whilst I kiss your mother!’
And then he lifted both hands to Suzy’s face and, cupping it, began to kiss her with a slow, gentle passion that grew and built until they were so closely entwined that even their heartbeats matched.
‘I can’t begin to tell you how long these last fourteen weeks h
ave felt,’ Luke whispered achingly to her. ‘First the meeting with Njambla, and then I had to persuade my partner to take over my active role in the business. Then there were problems with the children, and all the time I kept warning myself that by the time I did get to see you, you would have realised that you didn’t love me after all. You don’t know how many times I cursed myself for not keeping you with me when I had the chance, for not taking the love you were offering me. And then when I saw you today and I realised you were pregnant…’
She could see the pain in his eyes, as well as the love.
‘I didn’t want you to feel you owed me anything,’ she told him quietly. ‘I didn’t want anything from you, Luke, that you couldn’t give with love.’
‘Are you sure you’re feeling okay?’
‘I’m fine,’ Suzy reassured Luke as he led her out of the church and into the late autumn sunshine to the joyful sound of wedding bells ringing.
Her elegant cream silk dress discreetly concealed the curve of her belly, and under the benign gaze of their wedding guests Luke leaned down to kiss her.
‘Who would have thought that first kiss you stole from me would lead to this?’ he murmured teasingly in her ear.
Suzy laughed in real amusement. ‘I may have stolen it,’ she reminded him, ‘but you returned it—and with interest.’
Luke laughed back, placing his hand on the curve of her belly as he did so.
A hovering photographer snapped the pose, and then the one following it, when Luke drew Suzy firmly into his arms and kissed her tenderly and thoroughly.
EPILOGUE
‘LUCY looks very serious and important.’ Luke smiled at Suzy as they watched Lucy, Charlie and Sir Peter, along with Anne, the young woman he had asked if he could bring with him to baby Robert’s christening, getting out of their car.
‘Well, being Robert’s godmother is a very serious and important role for her,’ Suzy told him with a smile.
Lucy had been thrilled when Suzy had asked her if she would like to be one of Robert’s godmothers, along with Kate.
‘Oh, Suzy, do you mean it?’ she had asked, her face pink with excitement.
