by Vanessa Vale
“I told you I wasn’t,” she whispered. It was almost hard to hear her words over the hum of the air conditioning.
Rory gave me a look that made me feel guilty for jumping to conclusions. So she hadn’t been having an affair with us. Thank god.
“So who was he?” I asked, swinging my feet over the side of the bed, grabbing my boxers off the floor and slipping them on. I didn’t want to talk about a guy who got her pregnant with my dick hanging out. “Did you get married? Were you in a relationship in college?”
Ivy’s brow creased in confusion as she looked from me to Rory. Then she shook her head and sighed. “God, you guys don’t even see it.”
Rory and I looked at each other. “See what?” I asked.
Ivy bit her lip and looked up toward the ceiling. Then she exhaled loudly and faced us. “That’s my daughter, Lily. She’s six years old.”
Rory and I were silent as that sank in.
After a second, Ivy groaned. “You guys have never been good with math, have you? She’s yours, boys. Lily was conceived that night in Baker’s field.”
The silence was deafening as Rory and I stared at Ivy. I had a daughter…or Rory had a daughter. Either way…we had a daughter.
For the second time in my life, my world flipped upside down. But unlike the accident, this upheaval didn’t make me crash and burn. It lifted me up, opening a space in my chest I didn’t even know was there.
Holy shit, we had a kid. A daughter. Lily.
I looked to Rory and saw that he was just as awed by this revelation. We had a kid. A kid that we’d never known about. A kid who probably didn’t know we existed. A jolt of anger had me jumping out of bed and reaching for my jeans. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I had my reasons.” Ivy had never been good at lying or being evasive. Every one of her emotions showed on her face and right now I could see the fear, the guilt, the regrets plain as day. She might have had her reasons, but she was far from confident about her actions.
Rory was out of bed now too, halfway dressed as he crossed over to her. I could see the pent up anger in his body and understood it. To Rory, family was everything. He’d never had one to speak of—not one that was loving anyhow. And all he’d ever wanted was for us to have the family he’d never had. We’d come here to make that, not discover we’d been lied to, to be denied what he’d wanted all along.
“You should have told us, Ivy. We could have—”
“What?” she snapped. “You could have what? Put your dreams on hold? Given up a chance for a career in the military so you could stay in Bridgewater and raise a baby at eighteen? You could have supported us with that part-time job you had to get at the grocery store to pay for diapers?”
Her eyes flashed with anger, but it was a defensive anger. Still, her point hit home. I turned to Rory. “What the hell could we have done back then?”
He shrugged, clearly irritated that I wasn’t on his side. “I don’t know. But we would have helped. We would have stepped up.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “Hell, we would have loved her.”
Ivy’s eyes were suspiciously bright, like she was fighting back tears. “I know you would have, Rory.” She looked at me. “And you, too. I knew you both would do the right thing if I’d told you. Which was exactly why I didn’t.”
She dropped her arms and let out a sigh. “I didn’t want to make you guys feel trapped or think you needed to put your lives on hold. We were too young, we were all too young.”
I could see that Rory wanted to argue, but he let her speak.
“By the time I found out, you boys were off at boot camp and I was in Seattle.” She shrugged as if at a loss for words. “I had to make some tough decisions, and I had to make them on my own. Besides, it wasn’t as if the army would understand the Bridgewater lifestyle. They wouldn’t let both of you just leave because you said you’d fucked me together and wanted to do the right thing.”
She looked so bereft as she stared down at her feet, I moved toward her on instinct and pulled her into my arms, into a tight hold.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly as she leaned into my embrace. “I’m so sorry.”
I looked over at Rory and saw that some of his anger had drained away, most likely at the realization that she’d been right. We hadn’t been in a place to help her. And whether we liked it or not, she’d been in a tough position and had been forced to make difficult choices. I didn’t care if Lily was actually mine or Rory’s. A Bridgewater child belonged to both fathers, regardless of DNA. The government wouldn’t have seen it that way, but that didn’t matter.
We might still have our issues with Ivy and the way she’d handled things back then, but there was one thing I was clear on. One thing I knew without asking that Rory would agree with.
I pushed Ivy back slightly so I could look down into her tear-filled blue eyes. “We need to see her, Ivy. We want to meet our daughter. We aren’t eighteen anymore heading off to boot camp. We’re back for good. We’re with you—and Lily—for good.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
RORY
Cooper drove, Ivy sitting up front beside him so we didn’t get lost in the endless maze of cul-de-sacs and tree lined streets in her picturesque Seattle suburb.
My foot kept bouncing as we drew further and further into the labyrinth of ranch-style homes and closer and closer to our daughter.
Our daughter.
Since the rental car was short on leg room, my knee kept hitting the back of Cooper’s seat.
“Would you quit it? You’re making me nervous,” Cooper said.
“Then join the club,” I muttered. I wasn’t too macho to admit that I was nervous. Hell, I was scared shitless. We had a fucking daughter. The phrase had been repeating on a loop since the moment we found out. It was like my brain thought that if it repeated the phrase enough, it would suddenly register and make sense.
It wasn’t working. No amount of repetition would make this feel real. Maybe once we saw her—Lily— I could wrap my head around it. But seeing her was what made me want to take a nose dive out of this moving car.
I didn’t know many kids. I never had siblings growing up and I didn’t have any friends with little ones now. The army didn’t cater to children. I didn’t even know how to interact with a random child, let alone a girl who was either my daughter by blood or my daughter by adoption. Either way, she was mine, and now that I knew she even existed, there was no way in hell I was letting her go.
Some residual anger threatened to overwhelm me, but I pushed it aside. I might not like the choices that Ivy made back then, but when she gave us some time alone to talk while she took a shower in our hotel room—no fucking way were we letting her leave without us—Cooper helped me to see just how scared she must have been back then.
Eighteen and pregnant. Alone. Her grandmother had died soon after we left. She’d given up college, at least for a few years. She’d only had her aunt for support.
It was easy to say now that she’d made the wrong choice by not getting in touch with us, but there was no way we could put ourselves in that position. We were guys and never had to think about it, but fuck. What would I have done in a similar situation? Would I have held her back from her dream of college and a teaching career?
Logically, I knew I couldn’t judge. Still, logic wasn’t exactly ruling the roost at the moment. I looked at the back of her blonde head, saw the way she kept her chin up when her world had changed with our arrival. It showed me how brave she was. Fuck, she’d always been brave. I was going to face a six-year-old and I was ready to hurl. Rocket propelled grenades I could handle, but a child I’d made? I swallowed hard.
“Do you think she’ll like us?” I asked.
Stupid question, but I couldn’t help myself. Cooper gave a noncommittal shrug. He’d been getting quieter and surlier as we drove. I had no idea what was going on in that head of his, but I had a feeling it wasn’t good. He hadn’t had a nightmare
with Ivy in his arms, thank fuck, but I had to hope seeing Lily wouldn’t put him in a tailspin. Ivy’s silence was even more disturbing. Was she as afraid of us meeting Lily as we were? Did she think Lily wouldn’t like us?
Before I could ask any more stupid questions, Ivy told Cooper to park on the street in front of her house. It had been dark out when we’d picked her up the night before and now I could take in the picture-perfect setting. It was a white house two-story with black trim and red front door. The street was tree-lined and every lawn was neatly cut with perfectly pruned hedges. A child’s bike was casually left out on the neighbor’s front yard indicating families lived here. This wasn’t just a house, but a home. A home with a six-year-old. “Looks like you’ve done well for yourself, sweets.”
I didn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation, but some of the resentment and anger from earlier had slipped into my voice, making the simple statement sound churlish. Shit. I ran my hand over my face with regret, but didn’t apologize.
It was no wonder she responded in a defensive tone and only flicked me with her gaze before looking away. “It’s my great aunt’s house. When I found out I was pregnant, Aunt Sarah asked me to move in with her. Since my grandma had just passed, I had nowhere else to go.”
Fuck. I was such an ass and the way Cooper looked over his shoulder at me, he agreed. If we weren’t about to meet our daughter, he’d probably punch me in the face.
Rationally, I knew she didn’t have to justify herself to me, but I wanted to understand. I needed to know everything that had happened back then. She’d told us why she hadn’t come to us, but she’d never said what made her think we wouldn’t be good for Lily. She was six, plenty of time for her to let us know, and if we hadn’t shown up out of the blue, I doubted she would have ever told us. We never would have known our little girl looked just like her mother. “You could have come to us.” I’d said it before, but I felt like I had to say it again, to let her know we wouldn’t have abandoned her.
I heard her sigh as she opened her door. Cooper climbed out of the car and went around to her and I followed suit. She didn’t look at me as she led the way up the path to her porch. Halfway there, she spun on her heel and surprised me. “Maybe you’re right.” She looked me in the eye, lifted her chin. From her perch on the step, she was almost at eye level and her lips were pressed into a thin line. For the first time, I realized just how hard this must be for her, too. “Maybe that’s what I should have done.”
But she hadn’t. That part went unsaid, but her point was clear. Whether it was right or wrong, it was done. I glanced up at the door we were rapidly approaching and those goddamn nerves threatened to eat me alive.
“If you guys could just—” She shoved a lock of hair back behind her ear and let out a long exhale. “If you could just let me do the talking, that would be great.”
I looked to Cooper and knew he what he was thinking. No problem. Neither of us knew what to say to this kid. Our kid. As far as I was concerned, Ivy could run this show until I wasn’t scared so shitless.
We heard Lily before we saw her as we stepped inside the house. A TV was on in a room nearby and whatever was happening on the screen made her laugh. I came to a stop as sweet little girl laughter hit us. I looked over at Cooper and saw that he looked just as shocked as I felt. Like a two-by-four struck me in the back of the head. Hearing her laugh made it all so real. She was real, not just a picture in a phone.
Now that we were inside, Ivy seemed determined to get this over with. She didn’t stop to give us time to adjust, she just walked straight into the living room and we followed behind her.
I’d seen the picture, but it didn’t do Lily justice.
Fuck me.
She was stunning. A little angel, with her mama’s blonde hair and blue eyes. And those eyes were fixed on Cooper and me, studying us with curiosity. I was vaguely aware of another person in the room but it wasn’t until she stepped into my line of sight that I really noticed her.
“You must be Rory and Cooper,” the gray-haired woman said with a smile.
Not only was I scared of a child, but I’d forgotten all my manners.
Ivy made the introductions. “Rory, Cooper, this is my great aunt, Sarah. I told her you were coming.” Judging by the knowing look the older woman gave us, Ivy had also told her what our relationship was to Lily. The fact that we were dropping her niece off at ten in the morning instead of last night, she probably had a pretty good idea what we’d been up to.
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Cooper said. I looked over and saw that he was still staring at the little girl, apparently just as fascinated as I was at the sight of her.
“Lily, honey,” Ivy said. “Come on over here and meet my…my friends.”
I shot her a look. Friends? So that’s how she wanted to spin this. We were just some random friends dropping by to say hello?
My original anger was back, but I swallowed it down as Lily climbed off the couch and headed our way. Coming to a stop next to Ivy, she pressed herself up against her mother’s leg as she gave us a shy smile. She wore a bright pink nightgown the fell to her ankles, her blonde locks slightly tangled from sleep. “Hello.”
Without thinking, I dropped down to her level and reached out a hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Lily. I’m Rory.”
Her answering smile was magic, just like her mother’s. Then she turned her gaze up to Cooper. I saw him freeze as she reached out to touch his hand. It was his bad arm, the one that was covered in scars, although they were hidden by the long sleeve of his shirt. A flurry of emotions—dark and jagged—chased across his face as he stared at her and her tiny, outstretched hand. Mumbling something I couldn’t understand, he turned tail and bolted, his footfall heavy on the wood floor, the screen door slapping loudly behind him. Instinctively, I stood to go after him but Ivy stopped me with a shake of her head.
“No,” she said. “Let me go.”
I nodded. She was right. I’d been trying to help him for months, but what he really needed right now was Ivy. And Lily. He needed our family. He knew I was his best friend and I was always there for him, but he was tired of hearing the same-old from me, that it hadn’t been his fault. He hadn’t been responsible for all those lives, all of those men who’d died when his chopper had been hit by the fucking RPG. He’d been able to keep the bird in the air long enough so the crash happened where a rescue team could get to him, to bring all the men’s bodies home to be buried. He was a fucking hero, but he didn’t see it that way.
And now, out of the blue, he had a kid. A kid who would look to him to stay safe. Whole. Healthy. I couldn’t help him with this because I was freaking the fuck out too. A little girl with blond ringlets and blue eyes looked up at me—her head tilted way back because I was so much bigger—with something like awe and unconditional trust. Her little head cocked to the side and I recognized the same gesture in her mother.
My love for Ivy had grown over time. My love for Lily, instantaneous.
Just like that, my mind was made up. Ivy might have had her reasons for doing what she had, but things were different now. We were here and we weren’t going anywhere. Whether Ivy wanted us or not, nothing would change the fact that Lily was ours, too. Yeah, we might have a fledgling business started in Bridgewater, but we had a daughter. She came first. Seattle, Bridgewater, I didn’t give a fuck. I wasn’t missing another minute with her.
Hopefully, we’d all be a family soon enough, a unit, but even if we couldn’t win Ivy over, there was no way I would ever walk away from this girl, not now that she was in our lives.
I dropped to my knees again, leaned back on my heels so we were eye to eye.
“That man, he’s scared,” she said, her voice soft and gentle.
Perceptive little thing. She got her smarts from Ivy, that was for sure.
I darted a glance at Aunt Sarah, who gave a slight nod along with a small, reassuring smile.
“He is.” I cleared my throat.
“Of m
e?”
When Lily looked at me with those big eyes filled with worry, I told her what she needed to know.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IVY
I found Cooper on the back porch, leaning over the railing as though he might be sick. I hesitated for a moment before coming up close and wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt the heat of him through his shirt. He stiffened for just a second before relaxing against me. He was so different now than the night before. Then he’d been all heat and passion, dominance and focus. Now? Vulnerable. Fearful.
“Are you all right?” I asked, keeping my voice soft.
He turned around to face me and leaned a hip against the rail. The truth of it was there in his eyes. No, he wasn’t all right. It had been a stupid question and I didn’t want to make him say it aloud. So I asked another. “Why did you walk out?”
His expression was so pained, it almost hurt to look at him.
“I didn’t want to scare her.” His voice was deep, cracked.
I blinked up at him in surprise. That thought had never even occurred to me. He might be big and brawny, but he was the most gentle person I knew. Besides Rory. “Scare her? How on earth could you scare her?”
He drew in a deep breath and shrugged, looked down at the porch floor. “I don’t know…my scars, my nightmares.” He lifted his head, met my gaze. “Ivy, there have been days I can barely drag myself out of bed without Rory prodding me. I’m not the same guy I was before.”
“No, you’re not,” I agreed, crossing my arms over my chest so I didn’t reach out and comfort him. That wasn’t what he needed right now. There was no use denying he wasn’t eighteen anymore. His gaze held experience. Hardship. Tragedy. But that meant he had lived, and survived.
The other day, the difference in him had been obvious. He no longer had that easy, open attitude. He was guarded, pained, and maybe rightfully so. He did a good job to hide it, but I knew him too well.
