“I get that you love Nirvana and working the land, but Cole’s a jerk, Moon. You don’t have to protect him.”
“I’m not protecting him. I’m protecting myself. I can’t lose my job.” She stood up and started for the door. “Maybe I was wrong in coming here.”
He was beside her before she reached the door. He stepped in front of her, but didn’t touch her. “You made the right choice by coming here. Let’s not talk about it anymore right now. You’re upset. I know what I can do to make you feel better.”
She brought her chin up, her eyes twinkling. “I bet you do.”
“I’m flattered, but that’s not what I was suggesting. I’ll run you a bath. Women like that, don’t they?” He only knew that when his wife was feeling under the weather she liked to soak in the tub with candles lit.
She smiled and he’d never seen something more pleasurable. He was glad to see some of her sadness leaving her features. “I can try a bath. I probably look a mess.” She wiped her face.
You look absolutely amazing. He smiled, keeping his thoughts to himself. “Let me go run that water.” He needed to walk away before he blew all caution to the wind and dragged her into his arms and confessed his feelings.
Today while standing over a patient, listening to his heartbeat, a sudden, overwhelming thought came to Cam. He was falling for Moon. Maybe that was a bit presumptuous considering most of the time they’d spent together had been naked, but that wasn’t the only thing that hooked him. Her beauty. Her infectious smile. Her kindness. Everything about her. When he saw her standing on his step tonight, when he hadn’t been expecting her, he’d been overcome with the certainty that he could spend every day with her, getting to know her better. Understanding what made her tick.
But, that’s not what she wanted.
She’d made it amazingly clear that she wanted a good time—nothing more.
Why did that hurt like a punch square in the jaw?
He was a man, he should like having no expectations placed on him, and if she was any other woman, he’d be happy to just give out and keep his heart tucked away. But she was different. Man was she different. She’d found a place inside of his heart and head, and she hadn’t even planned the takeover.
Inside of the bathroom, he stared at the tub. It was fairly clean, thank goodness, but it was lined with his manly shampoo, saving cream, razor, and soap. He quickly grabbed the containers and shoved them under the sink then wiped several hairs from the side of the tub. The last thing she needed was to have his hair floating in her water.
Then he spotted the nude magazines in the rack next to the toilet.
Oh great. She’d really think he was a classy gentleman after she saw them.
Would Moon believe that they’d been a gift from his wife? No. She’d feel sorry for him because that’s how old they were.
Hell, he wouldn’t deny that he’d perused each page at least three times. A man had to do what he must to give himself some relief. He wasn’t sure why he minded Moon seeing his ‘supply’ but right now he needed to help her build her belief in the male species again after Cole acted like a jerk.
Anger shot through Cam on a whole new level as he shoved the magazines with the others things under the sink.
He peeked inside of the toilet, glad to see that it was also clean. Yet, he’d heard that women and men had a different idea of clean.
To be on the safe side, he sprayed bleach in the basin and scrubbed until it sparkled.
Turning on the water, he adjusted the temperature, and gave the bathroom one last glance before he called for Moon.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Moon popped the drainer in the tub and watched the water drain.
She stepped out and dried herself with a fluffy, white towel that smelled like fabric softener. Not the floral scent like she used, but a manlier one. She nuzzled her nose deep into the cotton and inhaled the scent. There was just something about it that reminded her of virility—reminded her of Cam. She was still in awe that he was kind enough to run her a bath. He’d even brought her clothes so she didn’t have to put on her muddy shirt and jeans. When she’d decided to come see him she hadn’t even taken a second thought how dirty she was after working with the horses and mucking out stalls all day.
And he’d still brought her in for a tight hug before he’d left her alone in the bathroom.
Art would have rebuked her if she’d come near him smelling like horse manure.
She stepped in front of the mirror and swiped the condensation from the glass. Her eyes were still swollen and her nose red, but at least some of her color had come back. She wasn’t quite sure why she’d reacted so strongly to the incident with Cole.
The man could ruin her life in one swell swoop if he decided to go to Chase. While soaking she’d thought a lot about the situation and realized with almost one hundred percent certainty that Cole wouldn’t do anything. If he did, he had to realize that Moon would tell their boss everything.
What Cam didn’t understand, she couldn’t allow anything to put a spoke in her plans. Without a job she wouldn’t be able to follow through with the insemination.
She still wanted to do that…
At least she thought she did.
She turned her cheek toward the closed door, her thoughts transporting through the barrier and onto the man who had shown up in her life like a gust of fresh air. She hadn’t planned this—hadn’t planned to have feelings for him either and yet, she did.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she realized she was eyeball deep in uncertainty. If she put off the insemination, this could be her last opportunity to have a child. She couldn’t allow herself to believe that there was a chance—even a sliver—that she and Cam could be more than sex-buddies. Things were great, sure, but he was on the rebound from his late wife. And she knew exactly what people said about ‘rebounds’. Bad news.
Wasn’t she in the same position? Wasn’t she on rebound from her ex-husband?
That could be possible if she still loved her husband. Not a chance.
Groaning, she grabbed the tube of toothpaste, squeezed a little out on her finger and rubbed her teeth. It wasn’t the best brushing, but it would do.
Looking at the stack of clothing neatly folded on the top of the hamper lid, she reached for the top item and smiled as she read the bold red lettering on front. “Doctors do it best.”
Well, she certainly knew one who did.
When she stepped out she followed Cam’s energetic whistling and found him in the small kitchen stirring a pot. She was getting used to finding him in this position. “Hi.”
His whistling stopped and he turned, skimming his gaze up and down her. His eyes flared. “Wow. You certainly do make my clothes look damn good.”
Her cheeks warmed and her toes curled on the cool flooring. There was just something about his grin that burrowed straight through her—and she liked it more than she should. “Is this your favorite?” She pointed at the shirt she wore.
“If it wasn’t before it is now.” His eyes dazzled.
She had to admit, although his clothes were a little big, she felt comfortable. “This is becoming a habit…you loaning out your clothes to me.”
“Don’t think I’m not getting some secret pleasure out of this.” He wagged his brows and went back to working at the stove. “Are you hungry?”
“I don’t think I could eat.” Her stomach had been misbehaving.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t blame you if I was doing the cooking, but my nurse Maria takes pity and delivers food to me. Tonight, baked spaghetti. The woman could cook a shoe and make it taste good. Not that I’ve eaten a shoe, but just sayin’.”
“You go ahead, but it does smell good.” She looked around the small space, seeing the things she’d missed when she’d been here last. “Did Corinne live here with you or did you buy this place after she passed?” She hoped she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries.
“I bought this place after. I found I couldn’t
—nor wanted—to live in the large house we owned together. I would come home and the silence was deafening.”
“I noticed that the dirty magazines were missing from the bathroom? Were they no longer needed?” She smiled.
“So you saw them when you were here last time?”
“Sort of hard to miss the woman’s big boobs that were on the cover.”
He shrugged. “Believe it or not, my wife bought them for me before she was too weak to get out of bed. She told me I’d need them before another woman came along to help me with the problem.”
“She wanted you to find someone else?”
“That was her last wish. That I’d be happy again. Allow someone else inside of my heart.”
Moon walked to the table and leaned her hip on the chair. “She sounds like an amazing woman. What was she like?” She’d continue to ask until he shut the door to her questions.
He hesitated. “She was quiet, but loved to laugh. She loved children, but unfortunately never had her own.” He blinked and turned his shoulder to Moon. She knew then the inquisition was over.
He poured the contents of the pot into a large bowl, grabbed a fork from the drawer and stuck it in. He sprinkled a heavy layer of parmesan cheese over the top and motioned for them to go into the living room. “I’ll show you what my evening’s usually look like.”
They sat together on the couch. “I’m sorry if I got too personal…”
He shook his head. “Sometimes opening up completely takes a little practice. Baby steps.” He twirled spaghetti around the tines of his fork and slid it into his mouth.
“I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you. I don’t think there are any words to describe how you must have felt.”
He gave a small shrug. “Sadness. Guilt. Disbelief. I’m being rude. Try a bite.” He held up the full fork.
“Sure.” She opened her mouth, took the bite and chewed. “That’s delicious.” She hadn’t realized how hungry she was.
“The woman should own her own restaurant. She’s Italian and I’m lucky that she’ll use me as her Guinea pig for new dishes.”
“Did you need change and that’s why you left the hospital and opened your own medical office? Dade has said only great things about you and how you inspired him to walk again.”
He placed his bowl on the table. “I loved my work there, but I felt that I needed to grow. I had become stagnant.” Absentmindedly, she picked up the bowl and dug in. “Would you like for me to grab you a bowl?”
“Oh, no. I’m fine,” she said around a mouthful. She placed the bowl back on the table.
He picked it up. “Okay.”
“I need to ask. Are you over your late wife?” She didn’t realize until her lungs stung that she was holding her breath.
He sighed. “If she were alive would we still be together? Yes. I’ll always have a special place for her, but I’m learning every day that the heart is a big place. It expands as needed.” He caught her gaze, but he quickly turned away. Moon was surprised that she didn’t feel any inferiority when he spoke lovingly of his wife, but instead it made her care for him more. She was acknowledging just how wonderful this man was. “So, tell me about you. Still have feelings for the ex?”
She sniffed “Do pigs fly?”
He twirled his fork through the pasta and he held the bite out for her. She accepted it, wiping the corner of her mouth with her finger. “Where do you see your future?”
“It’s a little fuzzy at times.”
“You ain’t a kiddin’. What makes a woman want a sex-only relationship?” He handed her the bowl.
After chewing, she finally answered, “Divorce changes the scope of things. Looking back, I realize Art and I had nothing in common. I think some people love money and then there are others, like me, who love everything else. I never thought divorce was in my future when I married him, but I ignored a lot of warning signs.”
“What about remarriage? Kids?” She swallowed another bite and it went down like a ton of bricks. If he only knew… He must have sensed her discomfort. “That’s still in the cards, right?”
“If it happens, great.” How would he respond if she told him of her plans? Would he think she was crazy? Heck, most people would think she was crazy.
Maybe now was the right time to tell him the details—and thank him for treating her so kindly.
Her eyes misted and she blinked, but not before he noticed. “Hey, I’m sorry. You’ve been through a lot today.” He took the empty bowl from her. “Why don’t you go climb into bed, get comfortable and I’ll be up in a minute. You’ll see, things will work out. They always do.”
His words were still running through her mind when he climbed into his bed with her. That night he made no move to make love to her, but instead he held her close. Although her body ached to have him, she didn’t pursue intimacy. She liked lying in his arms, felt like this was where she belonged, and guilt plagued her. She felt she almost owed it to him to tell him of her plans, but by the time she worked up enough bravery, his gentle, light snoring told her she was too late. He was asleep.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Moon was on the exam table, her legs held in the stirrups as she stared at the white, textured ceiling. She’d gone back and forth all morning, pondering if she would follow through with the insemination. Her desire for a baby was strong, and what if this was her last chance?
An image of Cam popped into her mind. His kind eyes and sweet smile. His gentle touch and how their bodies came together that morning. She hadn’t planned to be intimate with him, but when he’d woke her at the crack of dawn with his tongue swirling around her most sensitive spot, she didn’t push him away. She couldn’t think of anything more pleasurable than waking up to an orgasm.
Would the doctor know that she had sex that morning? Was it against the rules? They’d used a condom. She giggled, but it fizzled.
Would that morning be the last time they made love?
She’d taken some time off Nirvana and she and Cam had spent the weekend together. She’d stayed at his cabin and they’d cooked together. Watered his flowers. Played board games. Watched chick movies. And shared more food, just as they had the delicious spaghetti that his nurse had made for him. It had seemed natural.
And now here she was.
She’d wanted to tell Cam the truth, but each time the opportunity arose, she backed off.
If the insemination was effective, she would be pregnant. Her relationship with Cam would come to an end. It had to. She couldn’t continue having sex with him while possibly carrying another man’s child. That would only make the situation stickier.
Maybe there was another way. Somehow…
She shifted and the paper crinkled loudly. Her vision blurred with unshed tears. How had life become so difficult? Or possibly she was just making it difficult. What if she hadn’t placed rules upon her relationship with Cam from the beginning? What if…
How could she possibly give up the best thing that had ever happened to her?
She sat up on her elbows and looked around the room. Beside the bed was a tray of supplies that the doctor would need for the process. They looked sterile. Not how she imagined a baby being made. Was she ready?
Pulling her ankles from the stirrups, she dropped them over the edge of the table. She could easily get dressed and disappear.
The door opened.
Her chest tightened.
“Good morning, Miss Novak. We have a surprise.” The silver-haired doctor wore a smile.
She blinked. “A surprise?” Oh hell! “I admit it. I had sex this morning. Did the exam show that?” They’d done all kinds of testing that morning when she showed up, including a pelvic exam. He nodded and opened the folder he was holding. “It’s fine, Moon. I assure you the samples we took won’t show that, but thanks for sharing.” His smile grew wider.
“Do I have an STD?” Her spine tingled. “I swear, we used a condom. Oh shit!” She laid her palms on her gown covered thighs
. “But once. I was bad. I know it. I’ve learned everything I need to know about safe sex. I’ve always practiced, but this one time…well…we were in the hot tub… And there was the first time…I put the condom on him. I thought maybe I was too rough and could have put a hole in the rubber.”
He sat down on his stool and scooted closer to her. “That certainly would explain a lot.” His eyes twinkled. “And you don’t have an STD. You’re all clean, but we will have to shift your care back to your OB.”
She squinted. “I’m lost. Can’t I have the insemination today?” Why did she suddenly feel a weight had been lifted?
He pulled out a piece of paper from the stack. “Before we follow through with the procedure, we run a battery of tests on a woman to be certain she’s ready for insemination. In the blood we test for what’s called an HCG level. Anything greater than twenty-five milli-units per milliliter and we consider that a positive.”
Her shoulders slumped slightly. “Positive as in good or bad?”
“Depends on how one looks at it, but I’d say in your case, very good. Congratulations, Moon, you’re pregnant.”
She laughed. “Doc. I swore you said I’m pregnant.”
“Yes, you are. The blood test is very sensitive and can identify pregnancy even as early as seven days. I’d say if you count back to the day you had unprotected sex, or the condom that you handled, you’ll find that’s a pretty close measurement. Your OB will narrow down your due date and get you started on prenatal care.”
Her head swirled. Her face turned scorching hot. She and Cam had made a baby.
The room spun. “Doc, I think I’m going to—”
Everything went black.
*****
Cam pulled up to the staff quarters, parked in front, shut off the engine and slid out. He was glad he was the only one allowed to drive his vehicle on the property because he didn’t have a Gator, and he certainly didn’t want to ask one of the cowboys to transport him.
Since Moon had told him about the incident with Cole, he’d had one thing on his mind and that’s why he’d stayed clear of the ranch. Cam believed when he cared for a woman it was his duty to protect her honor. He didn’t understand why Moon didn’t want to tell Chase, but that was her right. He’d respect that, but for damn sure he’d already warned Cole to leave Moon alone and the man hadn’t listened. The man needed a good talking to.
A Perfect Cowboy Daddy (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 7) Page 11
