I had the entire drive home to mull over her words.
I didn’t know what was going on between me and him, but I also knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
Chapter Four
Gem’s will
I sat in the bleak waiting room, tapping a finger lightly on the arm-rest. In the waiting room dozens of magazines were stacked. I opened one and kept flipping, skim-reading the headlines, unable to really focus on the smaller body of text.
I heard the bell, disturbed by the door opening. I looked up, surprised to see Chase who stepped in, distinctly not surprised to see me. He nodded at me in acknowledgement, his expression grim. I smiled back faintly.
To my surprise, my aunt came in next, pushing the door with a hand, the other, a Gucci bag hanging over her shoulder. She gave me a tight-lipped smile.
“Sherry,” she said, pressing her cheek cool against mine, but I didn’t miss the haunted look in her eyes. She’d been grieving.
Once upon a time we'd talked a lot. That was long ago, before she’d moved all the way to New York.
“Didn’t know you came back,” she said mildly.
“I didn’t,” I replied.
“God, it’s boring back here, isn’t it?” she laughed.
I didn’t laugh back. She probably could think up a lot of reasons why I left, but none of them would be right. I didn’t dignify it with a response.
She did a half-shrug and went ahead of me.
We were led to an office by a Mr. Broker. It was medium-sized, but furniture was sparse, leaving enough space for the four of us, and then some. We all got seated, and looked at each other, and suddenly I felt anxious to get it all done.
“Gemma wanted to have this read aloud,” Mr. Broker said. “You’ll all get copies of the document too. I know you guys are busy. I’ll keep this brief.”
He flipped through a couple of pages before he cleared his throat.
“To my dearest grand-daughter, Sherry Jasmine Clayton, I leave my house, and all my funds in my savings account.”
I froze. My world tilted on its axis as the words began to sink in.
I leave my house.
I was planning to leave next week, wasn’t I?
You could sell it, a small voice said in my mind.
Or I could rent it.
She could’ve left it to anyone. She left it to me. It was my home. Still is, in a big way. I couldn’t just hand it over to someone else, could I?
God, what a mess.
“To Chase Davis, I leave you twenty thousand dollars,” he paused to meet his eyes, and continued, “and the lasting hope that you can try to mend things with my grand-daughter. I don’t believe even in my death bed, that that love has vanished.”
I gasped. God. She would say that. Even in death, she was on my side. Always.
Chase's eyes flashed with surprise.
“And to my loving sister, Martha Cassidy, I also leave you twenty thousand dollars, my pearls and my jewelry box that I’ve always promised you. I know how you’ve loved them so.”
I heard a sob escape her. I went over and pulled her close, putting my arms around her. Whispering it would be okay in her ear. All the while I felt like my heart was breaking. She left me the house, and now I had no idea what to do. I honestly never even considered it.
Martha had to go back to New York. I wished her well, and I rushed to leave, not wanting to be alone with Chase. I heard him call out my name, but I didn't respond. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I had no desire to be accused again that the sole reason I returned was to get those things from her.
I had to go. The walls were closing in again. I needed time to process everything that just happened. I got in my car and drove away.
* * *
The news spread faster than I anticipated. I’d lined up to get freshly baked bread.
Mr. Porter, who lived close by, was just right behind me, and he looked at me sympathetically. “I heard about the house. You don’t have to stay. You could just sell it.”
Excuse me? “With all due respect Mr. Porter, you don’t make decisions for me.”
He looked bewildered, as if the idea was beyond his comprehension. “You plan to stay?”
Was the idea really so preposterous?
“I don’t know yet,” I said simply. “I just don't know if I can sell it.”
That was what they thought of me? Their expectations so low they thought this was just for money? That the thought of staying was so beyond their comprehension, they dismissed it?
* * *
A warm cup, filled all the way to the brim, was pushed in front of me. I looked up and saw Paula, giving me a kind smile.
It wasn’t coffee– it was black tea, but still, it would help keep me alert. The thoughtfulness made my heart swell.
“Oh! You didn’t have to. Thank you.”
I noticed that she picked up her keys, dressed casually.
“You looked like you were thinking hard," she said with a gentle smile. "Just picking up a couple of things at the chemist. Do you need anything?”
I shook my head.
When she left, I laid my head back on the couch.
The way I saw it, I could either leave now and sell the house, or I could stay. Everyone expected me to leave, but I brought that on myself. The memory of Mr. Porter giving me that pitiful, judging expression really hit me hard. No one considered I would stay, that this place was my home too.
I left this place because it held me prisoner. I was foolish to think that just because I wasn't physically bound here meant I wasn't shackled, at least emotionally. It became the symbol for everything I struggled to hold and yet failed to possess, like fine sand just within my grasp, easily slipping away.
I didn't want to come back. But I couldn't sell the house, which held so many memories for me. It was also more practical for me rather than renting an apartment so far away.
Back then, to me it meant independence, but now it seemed like a huge mistake.
God, seeing him again was so hard. My heart clenched as I thought of how he'd been on that first evening back. His expression was closed and guarded, and our conversation strained. This was Chase. We could be strangers to everyone else but not to each other. There was a time I thought it would always be that way. But too much had changed now, and that was just something I had to accept.
Chapter Five
Boiling point
A small, familiar building with the letters Dr. Kate M. Sterling, marked clearly in the front.
Bad idea, I chanted in my head. I stood in front of the door for a good five minutes. Then deciding to just do it, otherwise I never would, I pushed the door open. Kate became a dentist years ago. Her lifelong dream, and she was living it.
She was hunched over reading a sheet of paper with a small smile on her face. She straightened and looked up, and her smile died.
I took a hesitant step forward. “Kate," I greeted softly.
Her eyes dropped back down quickly to the sheet of paper. “I heard them say you were back.”
“How are you?” I asked, walking closer.
“I heard about Gem. I’m sorry,” she said, a little gently this time.
“Thanks,” I replied.
“How about you?” she said, looking back up. “How’re you feeling?”
“I’m hanging on. Kate, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just done that. I…” I stopped, trailing off. I stood there quietly for a little while, the words somehow unable to come out.
“You’re here for… a week?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I’m still trying to decide what to do from here.”
“I see,” she said, her lips spread thinly in disappointment, and then she went back to her sheet.
“I… I had to go,” I started to tell her. “I don’t know how to explain.”
She took her glasses off and slid them up her red hair to sit on her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Let me make this easy for you. Do you have an appoint
ment?”
I felt like I’d been sucker-punched. She knew the answer to that. “No.” And the hell of it was, I knew I deserved it.
“I’m trying to work here. I have a patient coming in ten. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come to talk about things that don’t matter anymore.”
We argued and hurt each other the most because we were so alike. We both couldn't function without our daily dose of caffeine, chocolate was our addiction (although Haley’s too, to a greater extent), and we had a passion for reading. She was my biggest fan, and with my grandmother included, that was saying a lot. We loved with our whole being and lost many things that mattered to us.
“I want to make it up to you,” I said.
Her eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just come back and demand that from me.”
My heart sank. “I hoped… I hoped we could talk.”
Just then I heard the door shut behind me.
“Mr. Porter,” Kate smiled at him behind me. “Please come in. I won’t be long.”
I felt the sting of her dismissal.
Turning her head just a little as she was about to leave, she raised a brow just slightly. “Did you have something else to say?”
I shook my head. I knew what this hole was, I just never put a name to it. I recognized it now for what it was– clawing emptiness.
Then I watched as she walked past me, a hand in her pocket.
* * *
I made the mistake of stopping over for coffee at Camelot’s Cupcakes and Cookies on the way home. One of the things I mourned about when I left was that I wouldn’t get to drink his coffee. It was the best in town, it held a kind of magic I hadn't found anywhere else.
As I swung the door open, I met the face of Abe, who owned the shop. He looked at me, extending his sympathy. “I’m sorry for your loss, Sherry,” he said gently.
As I ordered my usual, we talked about his business and my books for a little while. He gave me my coffee after a couple of minutes, and I took the warm cup excitedly between my hands. Then he asked curiously, "How long are you staying for?”
I forced another smile and I shrugged, because hell, I didn't know anymore.
* * *
It all came down to a boiling point real fast. There were no flashing signs or red-signal warnings. Just zero at one point, then one-eighty at the next.
I suppose it was all those things stacked together.
I was driving when I got the phone call. At the time, it seemed perfectly innocuous. One offer of buying the property off me, because it was apparently the perfect place to build a small fast-food chain.
By the time the call ended, I felt something in me snap.
I know it hadn’t been intentional. I knew that, but the more people asked, the more I felt unwanted. Like it was a reminder that I didn't belong here anymore.
No one considered that I would stay, that I would move back. I hadn’t much considered what I was going to do weeks, months down the road. There was only the pressing expectation that I would eventually disappear again.
And then I realized several things.
No matter what I did, people would speculate. They could mask their remarks, their questions however way they wanted it, but it was buried beneath a layer of bullshit. They believed what they wanted to believe, and nothing I could say would change it.
They could push me aside, they could resent me, but I belonged here as much as they did. No matter what the past had molded me into, how much it had influenced my decision to leave, I missed everyone. Seeing them again, talking to them again, I realized that in staying away, I distanced myself from them too.
I had people who cared about me. People who genuinely wanted me to stay, and that alone was worth being here for.
* * *
“You’re staying?” Haley squealed, her initial disbelief starting to wear off. “For real?”
I had just finished telling her about it.
“Yeah,” I confirmed.
Paula wrapped me in a tight hug. “Welcome back, sweetheart.”
“That’s excellent news,” Haley said, jumping in excitement. “Oh my God, wait until people hear about it. And Chase! Oh my God. This is perfect.”
Okaay. “Perfect? Why do you have that look in… Never mind.”
The sparkle in her eyes told me she was definitely scheming something. I didn’t want to know, and so I didn't ask.
Chapter Six
Always been home
In an attempt to go back to routine, I woke up early for another run. Places still looked largely the same, except for a few buildings that have moved or closed down. The newly set up diner had bloomed and become prosperous over the past two years.
Then I slid on my earphones, and hit play for an upbeat song, nodding my head to each beat. I felt good, and I hadn’t even started my run yet.
* * *
It happened a little while later. A few of the early-risers waved at me as I ran past and I waved back. Then almost too soon, I was alone. It didn’t usually bother me.
After I ran the first mile, I began to feel that something was wrong. It was more of an instinct, an awareness I didn’t fully understand.
I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched.
I slowed down, just a little short of fully stopping, and managed to turn my head and look back.
I squinted my eyes, and just when I was going to shrug it off as nothing, I recognized a dark figure behind the large trunk of a tree, and it looked like the person was facing my direction. I blinked, making sure it was really there.
The figure was gone.
It freaked me out. Freaked-out me made me ran faster, and I pushed myself a little harder. I figured before I did another full loop, I’d head to Abe’s for some coffee.
By the time I finished my first cup, it was still at the back of my mind. The next time I was going for a run, maybe I could drag Haley along with me.
* * *
“You’re staying?” I heard from behind me, the voice behind me soft and familiar.
I wanted to get a few things, namely ice cream and maybe some nuts, so I and dropped by the grocery store. I’d just grabbed the stuff I wanted when I heard her.
A heart-shaped face, and green eyes stared back at me, and the combination was both beautiful and striking. Her blonde hair was down, swept over her shoulder.
“Eva?”
A high school friend who I was also fairly close to in the past. She was bubbly to the point that she was nearly always moving, whether she was shifting her foot or clasping her hands, as if she couldn’t contain all her energy.
Her lips were pressed together, looking like she was trying to hold back laughter.
“Hey," she said excitedly, "Haley mentioned it. I'm really happy to hear that." And all of a sudden, I was wrapped in a hug so tight. Before she moved back and clasped my hands.
“Hey,” I greeted back, her warmth infectious.
“How’re you?” she said gently.
I blew out a breath. "As okay as I can be, I suppose."
“You ever need to talk, just call. I bought your last book, by the way. Haven’t had a chance to read it yet though, but I will.”
“Hope you like it.”
If she didn’t, well, I hope I wasn’t around. I killed off someone in the last book, only he wasn’t really dead– he was getting another book.
“Listen, I have to go, but there’s the festival on September. Please, please say you’ll come.”
There was a desperation in her voice that made me feel like I needed to give her the answer she wanted.
“I’ll come,” I found myself saying.
Wait, what?
“Great!”
Melinda who lived three blocks away from me, was staring at us unabashedly, her head swinging back and forth between us two.
Eva, who was in line before me, gave a wave, before she left.
"You're staying?" Connor asked me in surp
rise as he scanned my items.
"I'm staying," I confirmed. I thanked him as he handed them over.
"City's not all that, huh." He was fishing, and he wasn't exactly subtle about it. But I had nothing to hide.
"This has always been home."
"Welcome back," he smiled at me warmly. “Glad to see you here again. Maybe gonna shut up those who keep speculatin’.”
I hoped so. But part of me had a feeling that the process would be slow. I took my stuff and thanked him. Just as I was about to do so, Melinda moved closer, pushing me back a little. “You’re back? For sure?” She sounded thrilled. Before I even to the chance to answer, she gasped, “Are you back together?”
"No,” I replied firmly, her questions rapid-fire.
“But you’re staying,” she told me what I already knew.
“Yes,” I said again, wondering where all this was going.
Her eyes glistened. Was she crying? “So you’ve worked it out.”
It felt a little like I was talking to a wall. She was insane. “No. No, it’s not about him. I want to do this for me.”
“Oh, I understand. You want to stay until you figure it out. You don’t have to say it, I can keep a secret.”
I gave Connor a look, and I noticed he was trying not to laugh. Was she for real?
She was nearly skipping on the way out, as if she’d just learned something she couldn’t wait to share with the word.
“A little nutty but she means well,” I heard Connor say, who looked like he was fighting a smile.
* * *
I was making a writing playlist, when Haley knocked at nine pm. She poked her head in. I rubbed at my eyes a little, thinking I probably need a break. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Wanna go for lunch tomorrow? Wes and Kate said they can make it. Like a mandatory welcome back party.”
“Sure,” I replied absently. “I went to see Kate yesterday. I think she’s still mad at me. I don’t know what to do.”
Truce or Dare (Sweet Fortuity Book 1) Page 3
