by L A Cotton
“You three going to sit around all day bitchin’ like little girls?” Coach appeared in the door. “Or are we going to play some ball?”
We hurried to slip on our shoulder pads and cleats and filed out of the door onto the football field.
“Bring it in,” Coach boomed, and we moved in to form two semi-circles around him, the front row taking a knee. “Okay, quiet down, quiet down.” He waited for the rumble of our chatter to subside. “It’s been a good week. You’ve come into the semester with the dedication and motivation I expect. Jason.” He addressed my best friend, and our captain. “You’re looking good out there, Son. Are you ready to take your team all the way this season?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I’m sorry.” Coach Hasson twisted his face, cupping his ear. “I didn’t hear you.”
“I said, YES SIR,” Jase yelled, his voice carrying across the field.
“That’s more like it, Son. Last year was tough.” He grimaced. “We knew Rixon East would come at us with everything they had, and they did. It should have been us going to that championship game. But this year, State is ours. Now gather in.” We circled Coach, shoulder to shoulder, until he slipped into the formation, holding his fist in the air. Thirty-five fists followed, then Asher’s, then mine. Finally, Jase threw his fist up and said, “Raiders on three. One… two…”
Our battle cry filled the air, the ripple of energy palpable. There was nothing more electric, more fulfilling, than standing side-by-side with your teammates, your family, ready for a new season. We all felt it: the anticipation, the hint of things to come. We’d been unlucky last year, losing out at a shot at the State Championship to Rixon East. The only silver lining was those motherfuckers took a crushing defeat against Fieldson Hills.
This year though, this year it was ours. Jase was consumed with the idea of winning, of being the best, of getting his Championship ring before we graduated. And nothing and no one would stand in his way. Jason Ford would knock down anyone who dared try and stop him, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that extended to me. His best friend. His brother; maybe not in blood, but in all the ways that counted.
We all knew football meant sacrifice. It meant hard mornings in the gym and long days out on the field. It meant putting everything else second to the game: family, girls, classes, even though Principal Finnigan would have something to say about that. If you wanted to be the best, you had to give your all. Anything less was not an option. You had to live, eat, and breathe it until you bled your team colors. But it would all be worth it in the end. When the call came, it would all be worth it.
Wouldn’t it?
Hailee
“I can’t believe he said that.” Flick shook her head with incredulity as I told her all about Cameron’s little stunt earlier, as we ate ice-cream over at Ice T’s, a cute little place downtown.
“Believe it. I mean who the hell does he think he is?” Cameron hadn’t uttered a word to me in years, except for the odd insult or veiled threat.
She licked her Oreo and strawberry cone, frowning. “And here I really thought he wanted you.”
“Trust me, Cameron Chase does not want me,” I snorted. “He just wants me to stop messing with his beloved quarterback.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Do?”
“Yeah.” Her eyes darted to mine. “I mean, he threatened you.”
“It’s nothing new, Flick.” I’d been dealing with their shit for years. “If Jason backs down, so will I, but we both know that will never happen.”
“So I guess I know the answer to my next question.” Guilt flashed in her eyes causing me to incline my head as I studied her.
“Something you want to tell me?” My brow rose as I licked the spoon clean.
“Well, I was thinking, since it’s senior year and all, and since we’ll never get these experiences again…” Flick inhaled a deep breath. “That... maybe… weshouldgotothepeprallynextweekend.” The words came out in a blast of strawberry scented breath.
“Hold up a minute. You want to go to that thing? We never go.” We hated those things. Not to mention the fact it was an entire night dedicated to the football team in all their asshole-glory.
“I know, I know.” She hung her head in shame. “It’s just I made this stupid list.”
“List?” That got my attention. “What list?”
Flick slid her purse onto the table and plucked out a small folded sheet of paper, hesitating. “It’s stupid…” Her fingers clutched it like it was the Holy Grail. But now I was intrigued.
“Give it to me.” I snatched it out of her fingers and unfolded it, smoothing the paper out on the table. “Number one, take up a new hobby.” My eyes lifted to hers. “So that’s why you signed up for book club?”
“I like reading.” Her shoulders lifted in a small shrug as she stirred the straw around her glass. “Now I get to do it with sixteen other people.”
“Okay number two, cut class. But we—”
“Without having a valid excuse.” Flick gave me a pointed look. “Sneaking off to buy chocolate and tampons because you got your period does not count.”
I stuck my tongue out at her. “Moving on. Number three, attend a pep rally. Oh, I know, we could paint our nails Raider blue and make banners too,” I smirked, half-expecting her to laugh along with me. But she didn’t.
Snatching the list back, Flick scowled at me. “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” Her expression faltered, and guilt coiled around my heart.
“I’m sorry…” I gave her a half-smile. “That was a shitty thing to say.”
“Yeah, it was. I might not enjoy school spirit as much as everyone else, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to experience everything just once, Hails. This is senior year. Our last year before we go off to college and…”
“You’re scared?” I saw it now, the cloudiness in her eyes, how strange she’d been acting all week.
“I’m not scared,” she let out a heavy sigh. “I’m just… look.” Flick folded her arms on the table and leaned forward. “We can’t all be like you, Hails. You’re so hardened. Nothing anyone says or does affects you. Most kids our age hide behind a mask, pretending to be strong and untouchable, but not you. You don’t have to pretend because it’s just how you are.”
“I’m not… hardened.”
Was I?
And if I was it was only because my circumstances had made me that way.
“Do you know how many guys from school asked me out last year?” Flick asked, and I frowned, wondering what the hell that had to do with anything. “None, Hails. Not a single one.”
“So? That’s their loss, Flick. You’d be a catch—”
She shook her head, sadness washing over her. “You don’t get it.” Her walls slammed up and I hated it. We didn’t fight, ever. So I didn’t understand what was happening right now. “It doesn’t matter… forget I said anything.”
“No, wait.” I laid my hand on hers. “Tell me. I’m your best friend, I want to know.” I thought I did know everything about her, but obviously I was wrong.
Screwing her eyes tight, Flick sucked in a shaky breath. When she opened them again, fixing her soft green irises on me, my stomach sank, and I knew I wasn’t going to like whatever she was about to say.
“It’s you,” she said flatly.
“Me?” I choked out, feeling like she’d ripped the rug out from under me, my stomach plummeting into my toes.
“Yes… no.” She grimaced. “That came out wrong.”
Me?
I was the reason guys didn’t ask her out? That made no sense because they didn’t ask me either. And it had never mattered before. We hung out with guys all the time at The Alley.
“I don’t know what you… oh.” The truth was written all over her face, I just hadn’t wanted to see it.
“Yeah, oh.” Flick gave me a weak smile. “You’re off-limits, Hails, you know you are. No one will look at you because they’re scared of—�
��
“Jason.”
She nodded. “And I’m your best friend. Getting close to me would be like getting close to you and that would be too much of a risk.”
“You’re not a fucking risk, Flick,” I said feeling my irritation levels rise. “Do you really want to go out with some douche who lets my step-brother dictate who he can and can’t date?”
“No, I don’t. But that isn’t the point…” She left the words hanging.
“So what is the point?”
“I want to date, goddamn it, Hails. I want to go to Homecoming and Winter Formal. I want to go to Prom.”
“Y- you do?” I sank back in my chair, the weight of her confession winding me.
“I love you; you know I do. But being your best friend isn’t easy sometimes, Hailee, and you’re so... oblivious to that.”
“I’m not...” I pressed my lips together, swallowing the argument lodged in my throat. Because Flick was right. Until now, I had no idea she felt that way.
“I don’t want to be the next Khloe Stemson. I don’t want to join the cheer squad and throw myself at the Raiders feet, that’s not what this is. I just don’t want to graduate and have all these regrets.” She wafted the list in the air with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
“I’m sorry I’m such a hardened bitch who ruins your life.”
“Hails...”
“Joke.” I held up my hands. “I’m joking.” For the most part anyway. “I need to pee; I’ll be right back. Can I get you anything else? My treat?”
“Hmm, I shouldn’t.” Her gaze flicked to the counter. “But I’d accept one of those rocky road brownies as a peace offering.”
With a weak smile and a heavy heart, I stood up. “Consider it done.” Making my way inside the store, I headed toward the back where the restrooms were.
Flick’s admission had caught me completely off-guard. There was no denying Jason had made things difficult since I moved to Rixon, but it wasn’t like he’d ruined my life. I still went to class, enjoyed art, and Flick and I participated in non-football-related school events all the time. Granted, we didn’t have a huge group of friends and we didn’t get invited to any parties, but we were fine. Content in doing our own thing.
Or, at least, I’d thought we were.
After washing my hands, I went to the counter to get Flick’s brownie and a strawberry shake for myself. I didn’t want her to resent me. We were best friends. Ever since I’d walked into seventh grade math and been seated next to the girl with eyes the color of sage, it had been the two of us against the rest of the world. But she was right, this was senior year. Our final year together. Flick had plans to go off to UPenn next year, and I was hoping to go out of state to Michigan. They had a great art program at their Stamps School of Art and Design. Come this time next year, there would be miles between us, so I guess the least I could do was support her with completing her stupid list.
Not totally on board with the idea, but willing to give it a shot for my very best friend, I paid the server and grabbed my items before heading back outside. But when my eyes landed on our table, I froze. I’d left Flick alone for all of ten minutes, but she wasn’t alone now. Jason, Asher, and Cameron were sitting with her, and they were… laughing.
All of them.
Gingerly, I stepped outside and stood at the end of the table. “Did I miss something?”
Flick’s face paled at the sound of my voice and I narrowed my eyes at her, silently asking what the hell was going on. “Hmm,” she cleared her throat. “Jase and the guys were just going to the store to get supplies for the party.”
Jase and the guys? She made it sound like they were old friends.
“And I care why?”
Flick sucked in a sharp breath but didn’t get chance to answer because my step-brother rose from the table, his hard eyes fixed on me. “Asher thought you guys might want to come. I told him it was stupid idea.”
“Let me get this straight, you’re inviting us to a party?” It had set up written all over it.
Asher shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s no big deal.”
My eyes skirted to Cameron who was silent. I wanted to know what he thought about this after he’d warned me explicitly to back down. Was this a test? Some messed up way of seeing if I’d bite?
He was going to be sorely disappointed. Or depending on which way you looked at it, maybe he’d be impressed.
“Gee, thanks for the invitation but I’m busy washing my hair.” I dropped Flick’s plate in front of her and sat down. “Now unless you want something else you should—”
“What about you, Felicity?” Jase drawled, a wicked glint in his eyes. “You want to come party with us?”
My gaze widened and she lowered her head, heat flaming her cheeks.
“Shit, man, I think she wants to come.” Asher’s eyes lit up as if the idea of making Flick defect to their side was just too tempting. “Come on, Felicity, we’ll look after you.”
My head whipped up to where Jase was standing, and I glowered at him. “Mess with me, play your silly little pranks, fine, but leave her out of this, okay? She doesn’t deserve your—”
“Hails,” Flick said quietly. “It’s fine, I know they’re only joking.”
“Naw, don’t be like that, baby.” Asher grinned at her. “You’re right, Hails isn’t welcome, but we’d make an exception for you. Right, Jase?”
His eyes lingered on my best friend, dark and searching, and too fucking long. He reminded me of the Big Bad Wolf ready to pounce on Red Riding Hood. The flush to Flick’s cheeks deepened under Jason’s intense regard. And before I knew what I was doing, I leaped up and slammed my palms into his chest. “Back off,” I snapped, shoving hard.
“Jesus, woman, are you fucking mental? We were just having a little fun.”
“Well, don’t. She’s never done anything to you.”
Our eyes locked on one another, simmering with anger and hate.
“Not that I don’t enjoy watching the two of you tear into each other…” Cameron’s voice startled me, and I blinked, breaking my stalemate with Jason. His lip curved in a smug smile as if he knew he’d won this round.
Bastard.
“Yeah, yeah,” Jason said, rubbing his jaw. “Well this has been entertaining, but we have more interesting places to be, little sister.”
Little sister?
He was barely two months older than me.
“Yeah, like Jenna Jarvis’ pussy,” Asher snickered, and I shot him a disgusted look. “What?” He pouted.
“You’re a pig.”
“Naw, baby, I’m a Raider and we know how to ride real damn—”
“Let’s get out of here already, I’m fucking bored.” Cameron started walking away. Asher blew Flick a kiss before taking off after his friend, but Jason hovered. His eyes still trained right on me.
“What?” I barked.
Without another word, he shook his head and went after them.
“And you want to embrace that?” I said incredulously, dropping back down on the bench.
“I didn’t… I’m not… God, you’re right,” Flick said, her cheeks still pink. But as I watched her watching the three of them stalk off toward Asher’s car, laughing and joking, I realized she did want that. She wanted to go to their stupid party and get drunk and make out with some random guy. Maybe even make out with one of them. I suppressed a shudder.
I’d been so consumed with the rivalry between me and Jason, the endless war, and hating on the football team, that I’d failed to see what was right in front of me.
Flick humored me.
All this time I thought we were the same. I thought we shared a mutual hatred of all things school spirit and Rixon Raiders.
But she didn’t, not really.
She pretended.
And she did it for me.
Cameron
“Is it me or did Felicity Giles get hot this year? Those fucking ugly overalls don’t usu
ally do it for me, but on her they look—”
“First Hailee, now Felicity?” Jase jeered. “Next thing, you’ll be joining band and wearing one of those fucking awful sweaters.” His brows quirked up as he shot Asher a pointed look through the rear-view mirror.
“I’m not saying I’d bang that, but you can’t deny they both have that geeky hot girl thing working for them.”
His words made my chest tighten and I rubbed the heel of my palm against my leg. Hailee wasn’t geeky, she was… Hailee. Unapologetically herself. Always had been.
“Can we please not talk about her anymore?” Jase groaned. “I just want to get fucked up, find some bendy gymnast to fuck, and forget all about Hailee fucking Raine and her mother.” His lips pursed, the blood draining from his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel.
Just then Asher’s cell pinged. “Oh shit,” he said, and I glanced back. “Thatcher just tweeted throwing some serious shade our way.”
“Let me see that.” Jase’s tone was cold as he reached his hand back waiting for Asher to hand it over. “Motherfucker,” he breathed, tossing me the phone.
* * *
@ThatcherQB1: Rixon East are ready to rumble with RHS this year. Raiders gonna run scared after the Eagles are finished with them #Eaglesforthewin #Raiderscansuckit
* * *
“He’s gunning for blood,” Asher said.
“He’s all talk.” Jase brushed him off, but I saw the tic in his jaw. There was no love lost between Lewis Thatcher and my best friend. They’d come through Pee Wee together, their rivalry only growing over time. Things had finally come to a head last year, when Thatcher’s sister Aimee got involved. And the whole thing had blown up.
“We’re stronger on paper and on the field,” he added, arrogance rolling off him.
“No doubt,” it was barely a grunt from the backseat. But then Asher shoved his face between the two front seats. “They’re our third game, right?”
I nodded.
