by S. M. Bowles
We had a lovely evening together and when we got back to his place I nearly told him that I didn’t want to go home. That I wasn’t ready to resolve things with Charlie and to have Margaret see me this way. All I wanted was to share night after night like that with him and to forget all the hardships that were still ahead of us.
“We will, Elayna, once this is behind us, every night will be ours and I promise to make them just as memorable,” he was holding my hands in his and turned them over kissing each palm. Or at least that was what I thought he was doing. “If you will have me, that is.”
I looked down, turned my hand over and though I couldn’t imagine how it had gotten there weighting down my ring finger was the most remarkable engagement ring I had ever seen.
I felt like my heart was going to burst it was beating so hard and fast.
I don’t know why I doubted it but, “Can we even do that?” It seemed the strangest and yet at the same time most natural thing in the world – getting married.
“Of course we can, although…”
“What Michael, what is it?”
“Well, it won’t be anything more than that. You know…or maybe you don’t… we…”
I saw it in his eyes, “We can’t have a family,” I finished for him.
He shook his head.
I was filled with regret as Michael conveyed to me that children were an impossibility for us. As I searched his eyes, though, I knew our lives would be happy and full enough as long as we were together.
“So will you?”
I threw myself around him, “How could you even ask that after all we have been through?” I took his face in my hands, “Yes, Michael, yes I will!”
Somehow having the ring on my finger gave me the courage I needed to overcome this one last obstacle in our lives. We readied ourselves the night Margaret called to let us know everything was in order and took a flight home. Since it was early enough when we arrived we went straight to her house from the airport.
I clutched Michael’s hand as we made the final turn into Margaret’s subdivision. Margaret must have heard us pull in because the porch light came on as soon as Michael put the car in park. Suddenly I was a bundle of nerves and that was the last place I wanted to be. Michael sensed my nervousness and took my hand to his lips, “It will be fine,” he said encouragingly. “Imagine what it was like when I first told her about me!”
I was sure that must have been infinitely more difficult. Margaret had known for many, many years and had had time to acknowledge and accept Michael’s fate so I was sure my transformation would not be quite so shocking. As I was thinking these thoughts over she opened the door and I was instantly overwhelmed by Margaret’s emotions. She was so happy to see me and know that I was safe and well. There was the underlying disappointment that my life had not turned out as she had hoped but it was insignificant compared to the love I sensed she felt for Michael and for me.
It cheered my heart to know and I hurried to where she stood. I gently wrapped my arms around her. I had never been able to express my appreciation for all she had done for me. I had never been able to show Margaret how much I loved, admired and respected her. Somehow, I felt like she was a part of me, too, the way Michael was and that I was flooding her mind with all my heartfelt emotions and that she understood and was grateful for the time we had shared. She never had a daughter and that was how she thought of me, had always thought of me and always would.
Michael was standing back watching the display but soon began to covet the love he felt he was missing out on and took us both in his arms. Several minutes passed and I sensed that Margaret was ready to head indoors to where we would all be more comfortable. Michael disentangled himself from us and gathered Margaret’s hand on one side while I took her other and led her inside.
My lips trembled as I realized that Kaley was not there to greet me as she had done for the past 10 years. There was no leash waiting on the table for a hasty walk to the greenway and back, no massive head to rest on my knee hoping for a scrap of food from my plate. Michael released Margaret as she took her seat and I settled into mine. He placed a stool just to the right and a little bit behind me as I sat across from Margaret. He rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist knowing that I needed a little comfort just then.
Margaret was captivated, closely looking us over, “I almost can’t bear to look at the two of you,” she turned her eyes from one to the other and back again. “You look so…so majestic,” she breathed.
I could feel her wondering what we would do now, what our next steps would be toward tying up our loose ends and living this new life.
“That’s why we’re here, Mother. Have you heard from Charlie at all?”
“No, Michael, I haven’t,” she answered.
“Hmm. When was the last time you went to Elayna’s apartment?”
“Not since Charlie brought me there after,” she rubbed her shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Mother. We’ll find him.”
“What are you going to do?” she sounded worried.
I answered for us, “Apologize. It’s all we can do, really. I can’t think of any way to make this right.”
Michael and I took turns and it was wrenching at times but we managed to piece together everything that had happened for Margaret so she would understand where we all stood. Michael was careful to edit some of the details and portrayed Victor in the most positive light allowable. Margaret was clearly saddened to learn that Victor was lost and wondered if there was anything she could have done that would have made things turn out differently.
“Mother, it wasn’t your fault. We all need to accept responsibility for who we are and what we become. Victor knew who he was. He knew he could have reached out to any one of us at any time and we would have helped him. In the end he took a step towards redemption and I’m sure he was sorry for all that he had done and that he didn’t blame anyone but himself.”
There were several minutes of quiet as we all reflected on the events. Then Margaret asked if we had been to Michael’s yet and if he had had a chance to look over the work that was done.
Michael glanced at his watch and nodded, “Yes, I guess we should be going, just in case I need to make any changes,” he stood up and kissed his mother’s cheek.
“Thank you Margaret. Thank you for everything,” I smiled and hugged her goodbye. “We will see you again soon.”
She smiled and hugged us each at the door. As we made our way down the walkway towards the car I suddenly realized that we hadn’t told her about our engagement. I started to turn back, “She knows,” Michael chuckled. He bent to kiss me but paused midway.
“Michael?”
He looked around like he was searching for something, “Huh,” he frowned then shrugged and kissed my temple.
“What is it?”
“Nothing, I’m sure. Let’s get home and get you settled.”
I worried for half a moment but Michael assured me with great confidence that I needn’t and helped me into the car.
Chapter 26
Michael inspected the room and found little fault. He touched up a thing or two and together we brought a few furnishings from the guest bedroom and arranged them in the darkroom. It was an odd contrast; the soft colors of the bedspread against the black, vacant floors and walls. I wondered if there were any way to make it homier but also thought that I shouldn’t let it bother me since I was completely unaware of the world around me when I was resting.
“We’ll figure something out when we have more time. This,” he motioned to the room, “was the fastest, temporary,” he emphasized, “solution.”
“Of course, Michael,” I sighed.
There were still a few hours before sunrise and Michael suggested we use them to go to my apartment and get some of my things so I would have them when I needed them. When we got there I was shocked to find it in complete disarray. Everywhere things were smashed and broken; the seat cushions torn, my sheets an
d clothes in shreds. It was heartbreaking to see and I immediately knew who had done it. For the first time since I had known him I felt like I didn’t understand who Charlie was, not at all.
Michael stood behind me as I took it all in. He put his hands on my arms and stroked them comfortingly, “It can all be replaced, Elayna.”
“Yes, I know, but Michael, now that we know… know what Charlie’s feelings are,” I shook my head, “what are we going to do?”
I would never have imagined Charlie capable of any violence. I knew everything could be replaced but there was an almost tangible anger in the scene before us.
“There’s no sense in going through any of this now,” Michael stated.
“No,” I shook my head. “Do you think he would have gone to the shop?” I was worried that we would find it in a similar state but again, it could all be replaced and at that point I would never have used any of it again anyway.
“I can take you there, if you’d like but Elayna, what would we gain?”
“You’re right,” my heart skipped a beat. “You don’t think he would do anything to Margaret, do you?”
Michael’s jaw tightened, “No, he wouldn’t dare!”
“Maybe she should stay with us, just to be safe. Call her,” I urged.
It was well after midnight and into the morning hours so Michael hesitated a moment as he thought over the possibility of disturbing Margaret unnecessarily. He dialed the number. There was no answer and the line went to voicemail after a number of rings.
I could see the fear growing in Michael’s eyes, “Again, she might have been asleep and didn’t hear it,” I suggested.
Michael hit redial only to face similar results, “Let’s go,” he took my hand and we raced out the door.
We were down the stairs and in the car before I even realized it. He drove us straight to Margaret’s. I tried her number over and over again until we got there. When we arrived there was no sign of Margaret. It didn’t look as though the door had been forced or that there was a struggle of any sort. I was sure Margaret trusted Charlie and that if he came to her under the pretense of concern for me and Michael that she would have let him in and perhaps even left with her.
“But where would they go?”
Michael closed his eyes and concentrated, “I don’t know,” he ground his teeth in dismay.
“We have to find her; whatever it takes. If Charlie has her…” my voice trailed off. The world did an odd shift for me and I was dizzy with the idea that had just forced itself on me. I heard Victor’s voice in my head, “Use me…use me to save her,” it whispered. It was that combined with something Michael had said not so long ago that inspired me. I remembered him telling me that Gavin’s blood had done something to him.
“Michael, I think there’s a way,” I looked to my wrist, “Maybe I can make you stronger, like Gavin did. Maybe you can take enough from me to find Margaret.”
“Elayna!” Michael was shocked. “Never! It’s too dangerous. It’s too late, the sun will be up soon and if I take too much, if you are too weak,” he was shaking his head, “No, no, we mustn’t. Margaret wouldn’t want us to.”
“Then make me strong.”
There was a long, long pause as Michael considered what I had said. I knew he would say yes as soon as the words were out of my mouth. He bent his neck to my lips. “Quickly, before I change my mind.”
I took a deep breath, made my incision and drew and drew and drew. I felt like living ice as his blood flooded my insides; cold, solid, unbreakable. The sights, sounds and scents of the world were like a tidal wave assaulting all of my senses at once. Michael dropped to his knees and I released him. I started to cry he looked so pitiful and weak. My Michael, my hero, my everything; I had stripped so much away from him in that instant that I didn’t even recognize him as he lay at my feet.
“Margaret,” he whispered as I sorrowfully kissed his cheeks.
I looked up and suddenly I knew exactly where Charlie was. I lifted Michael across my shoulders and lay him in the trunk of the car; fearful that he would be too weak to resist the sun if it came up before I could confront Charlie. I drove us to Michael’s house.
“Charlie, I’m here,” I called as I walked down the hallway.
I paused midway. Somehow he was keeping his thoughts shadowy and I couldn’t discern them with the precision I had hoped I would be able to. The strength and surety I felt from Michael seemed to be wearing off. I could smell Charlie, though, as I walked; the body wash he used, the deodorant, even the toothpaste he had brushed his teeth with that morning. I knew where he was.
I made my way towards the darkroom.
As I neared the doorway a light flashed on. I saw Charlie sitting on the bed eyeing me as I stepped in. Margaret was on his right. She looked unharmed but her fear was palpable.
“He has a gun,” I thought to myself. I felt disgusted and angry as I took in the situation.
“Why don’t you come around and sit here with us?”
“No, I don’t think that I will, Charlie.”
“Where’s Michael, I’m sure it must be heart wrenching to be torn away from him again so soon. I was counting on you two being together.”
“Michael is…he’s resting. Maybe you should let Margaret go.”
“Hmm, no, I think she’s quite comfortable where she is, right Margaret?” he poked her ribs with the gun.
I wondered how fast I was and if I could possibly get her away from Charlie before he had a chance to react. I think he saw the plan forming in my eyes.
“You might but then again…” he gave a sinister little chuckle. “Is that an engagement ring?” he frowned. I’m not sure if I blushed but I could certainly feel the shame his question brought on as it swelled like a bubble in my chest. “I should have known this day would come,” Charlie spat, “I knew Michael couldn’t be trusted,” his focus shifted to my face. “God, I didn’t think it was possible but you are even more beautiful than ever.”
“I’m sorry, Charlie, I know this has been difficult for you.”
“Difficult!” Charlie turned from me, “I love you, Lily. I always have, since the first day we met.”
I shook my head, “Charlie…”
“Shut up,” Charlie screamed at me, “you don’t know, you don’t know what I’ve felt for you!! If you ever bothered to look you would know that Michael’s love is nothing compared to the way I feel about you!! Look what he’s done to you!! Your mother, your father!! How can you love him after all he has put you through?”
I pursed my lips thinking that I understood exactly what Charlie’s feelings were for the first time since I had known him. It was not love that had brought him to this. His expression made me recall the night he shot at Victor and Michael as they fought. Suddenly I knew he hadn't been trying to help Michael by shooting Victor, he wanted to kill them both. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. I knew I had to do something before his anger got the better of him.
Before I could come up with any ideas, though, Michael’s voice came from directly behind me, “I know why you’re here Charlie.”
I turned and couldn’t imagine how I didn’t know he had joined us especially after I had taken so much from him. There seemed to be no indication whatsoever of what I had done to him. I was awestruck thinking that just moments ago Michael was nothing more than a shell of the man I knew.
He didn’t acknowledge me, “Consolation prize,” he said to Charlie.
“That’s right,” he nodded.
“Michael, don’t do it, you mustn’t, even for me,” Margaret pleaded. She seemed to know what Charlie was asking.
“Oh, I don’t want you to do it, Michael,” Charlie looked to me.
I closed my eyes as understanding sank my heart, “You know I would never do that Charlie. I’m not sure that I can; I don’t even know how.”
“But Michael does, don’t you Michael?”
In my mind I considered the possibility, to save Margaret and thoug
ht to myself that if Charlie was capable of what he had already done and what he was doing now, what wouldn’t he be capable of if we gave in? I couldn’t imagine Charlie ever having the control and compassion to live as Michael did.
I joined my plea to Margaret’s, “I won’t do it, Michael.”
“Ssh,” he came and stood beside me. He looked down and brushed my cheek. He was so calm, so serene for the situation we were facing.
Michael looked from me to Margaret and his eyes fell on Charlie. There was something in them that I didn’t recognize; a will that wouldn’t be denied.
“There is no way this will end other than badly,” Michael’s voice was flat and emotionless.
Charlie shoved Margaret to her feet, Michael held his hand out to her and Charlie lowered the gun. I moved to take her in my arms to get her away from Charlie. He saw me from the corner of his eye and for a split second he came to his senses. Charlie raised the gun and fired at the first thing that moved. Margaret collapsed to the floor.
“NO!” I screamed as I lunged for Charlie with a brutal determination.
“Elayna!” Michael’s voice commanded as he held me back. I was suddenly aware of what I was trying to do. I dropped my efforts and fell to my knees in anguish. “Margaret,” I took her hands in mine. “Oh, Margaret, please, no, no, no,” I was sobbing and shaking.
Michael was dialing 911.
“Michael,” I looked up to him pleading, “you have to help her. You…”
“I can’t,” his voice cracked. “Not this time.”
“What are you saying?” I screamed at him. “We can’t let her die. I won’t let her die!” I tore at my wrist determined to bring her back.
“Elayna, it has to be this way,” he seized my arm and drew me away as I fought vehemently against him.
“Ssh, ssh,” he soothed and stroked my hair. “I promise you, she will be alright. Elayna, she is my mother, I love her just as much as you but listen, please, please listen to me.”
