by Lauren Runow
We stay entangled in each other’s arms, no words said, just heavy breathing and hearts beating together in unison until we hear a honk outside.
He looks at the clock before sighing. “That’s my cab. I snuck out so I have to get back before someone notices I’m gone.”
We both get up, him putting his clothes back on and me grabbing a robe.
Standing at the front door he turns back to me, his face the saddest I’ve ever seen.
“I’m moving today,” he says while tucking my hair behind my ear.
“What are you going to do?” I reach for his hand, not wanting to let him go.
“Not sure yet. I have some things I’m working on.”
“And…”
“And what? I couldn't leave without saying goodbye.”
“So that’s it. This is goodbye?”
He doesn’t answer, just turns around at the cab honking his horn.
When our eyes meet, I barely choke out, “Will I ever see you again?”
His lips softly touch my forehead before answering, “No,” and walking away from my life.
11
8 months later
With my fake smile plastered on my face as I greet someone walking by, I walk into my office, reaching to close the door behind me as quickly as possible.
I don’t even know why I bother pretending to be happy. It takes a lot of effort, and really, I couldn’t care less if everyone here thinks I’m a bitch. I feel like one.
I’ve been walking around here feeling like a zombie for months now. People ask me what’s wrong, but I just lie, smile my same disgusting smile and question why they would ask.
Some people have speculated it’s because of Travis, which pisses me off even more. He doesn’t deserve the accolades of anyone thinking a prick like him would affect me this way.
Sarah made good on her promise of trying to ruin his life but the poor girl fell right into Travis’s trap of lies. Before she could do anything, he came out, told everyone, and said he was doing “the right thing” by wanting to be a father. Now they’re going to be a family, ring and all.
I call bullshit.
He was just trying to save his own ass and spin the situation as much as he could.
I’ve heard he got in a lot of trouble, but nowhere near as much as he should have. The military took pity on them because of the child, and the fact they were becoming a family.
Makes me sick.
Mainly, I feel sorry for her. Why would you want to be with someone who you know doesn’t love you and is only with you to save his own reputation? His true feelings about the situation were how he reacted when she first told him of the baby.
But I’ve kept my mouth shut. She made her bed and now she can lie in it with the cheating bastard he is.
I just wish I could stand up for myself. Voice to everyone who asks what’s going on and tell them how much I miss Alex. Tell them how he was this amazing guy deep inside who was trying to make good of his life.
I can’t tell them I’ve fallen in love when I shouldn’t have, and because of the stupid rules my job has I have to be alone and miserable instead of fighting for the man I love.
Alex meant what he said, too. He left the next morning and I haven’t heard from him or seen him since. I guess that’s better in the long run, but it still hurts.
Layla’s been there for me, sitting with me while I cry my eyes out in a pint of Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream, but I think she’s even getting sick of my sadness.
A big sigh releases from my lips as I grudgingly lift my arms to type one more email before I shut it off. The day is finally over, and I’m so ready to go home to curl up on my couch and do nothing.
Right before I turn off my computer, an email pops up from an address I don’t know with the subject line of: The High Road.
I open the email, which reads: Listen to the lyrics with a link to a YouTube video.
Clicking on it, a window opens to a music video from Three Days Grace called The High Road. Of course I’m familiar with the band and the song but I’m still confused as to why someone sent it to me, so I listen.
It’s not until the chorus when I hear it talk about being a mistake and doing whatever it takes to make it so you can’t live without them that my heart starts to pound and my palms sweat.
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, trying not to get my hopes up but remembering Alex saying something similar to me before.
Just as the song ends, another email pops up with only the subject line of: Come home and nothing in the body of the email.
I don’t even bother turning off my computer. I just grab my things and run out the door, not caring about the repercussions I might face from running through the halls.
I need to get home, now!
My heart beats faster than I can function and my hands tremble as I try to reverse out of the parking spot.
The line to get off base is a few cars long and I try to take deep, calming breaths as tears spill over from my eyes.
Everything possible is running through my head. Is it Alex? Is he really here? Did he come back?
I shake my head, focusing on taking deep breaths in and out, just getting home as quickly as possible.
When I pull up, I see a black, old muscle car parked next to my parking spot. Visions of this car flash through my memory. I’ve seen it multiple times in my parking lot and around town but now it’s in my visitor parking, throwing me for a total loop.
Just as memories of Alex’s tattoo flash through my brain, the door opens and I sit, frozen in anticipation as I watch Alex exit the car.
My hands shake as I put my car in park and try to undo my seatbelt before opening my door.
He stops a few feet away from me as I push my door shut and lean against my car, still in shock.
We stare briefly at each other, both not saying a word, until Alex reaches his arm out, breathlessly whispering, “Jenelle…”
Tears spill over once again as I run into his arms, hugging him tightly until we lock lips, feeling every emotion run through my body, igniting into him.
I pull back, running my fingers along his face, feeling him to make sure he’s real. “Alex… You’re here? How?”
He laughs. “Yes, I’m here. I’ve been here awhile, but I had things I had to do first.”
I stare at him more but stay gripped in his arms. “You’ve been here? In Vacaville?”
“Yes, but I couldn’t come to you until I was ready.”
My stomach sinks. He’s been here and hasn't told me. Why?
“Ready? For what?”
“For you. I had to prove to you that I’m the man you want. I can—”
I cut him off. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I do. And I will. We weren't a mistake. I want to be your man, and I’ll prove it.”
“I know. Alex, we weren’t a mistake. I never should have said that. I want to be with you. My life has been miserable since you left.”
I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him in closer and burying my head in his chest.
His hand caresses my hair. “I had to leave, I had to make something of myself first. I can tell you now that I have a great job—”
“Wait, you have a job? Here?”
He laughs. “Yes, here. I went back home for a couple of months; I needed to get my shit together. My parents wouldn’t talk to me at first, but I was able to prove to them that I cleaned up my act; that I was willing to work hard and support myself the honest way. I started with this car. I had to get it working for Ky.”
“Oh Alex, I’m so sorry you had to—”
“No, don’t be, everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that now. The military set me up with a drug and alcohol counselor, and that was what set me on the right path. I knew I didn’t need the counseling but it showed me exactly what I’d be good at. I spent more time talking to the guy about how to become a counselor than about my perceived problem.”
; I look at him with the most confused look on my face. The light chuckle escaping his lips warms my body like a soft blanket. God I’ve missed that sound.
“He led me to what I needed to do, and after my certification I was able to find a job here as a drug and alcohol counselor. I’m honestly making a difference in people’s lives and I feel really good about it.”
He looks me in the eye and I’m stunned as we sit in silence for a few beats.
“I’m… I… I think I’m in shock. I can’t believe you’re here.” My head starts to spin. “Wait, how long have you been here?”
The guilty look that flashes across his face makes me shift back, but he holds me close to him.
“I’ve been here for almost a month. I had to make sure my job was secure. I had to make sure my life was in order. But I’ve been—”
“You’ve been spying on me haven’t you?” I ask, mildly offended.
“I swear I wasn’t spying. I wasn’t quite ready to come back, but I had to see you. I had to make sure you were okay.” His lips briefly touch mine. “I’m here to win you back.”
Tears fill my eyes but I don’t want to blink them away.
“No matter what, I couldn’t stay away from you. I need you in my life. I told you I’d do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”
“And I told you. You don’t have to prove anything. I don’t care what you do or who you are. As long as you’re here with me. I love you, Alex.”
“God, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.”
His lips crash with mine before we walked hand in hand to my apartment.
Together at last.
Together forever in our new life.
Other Books By Lauren Runow
Falling into the Black
Evangeline
Ten years ago we said goodbye.
I left the world I once loved to create a new life for myself. Away from the lies. Away from the pain.
I thought I was at the top of my game, but little did I know that everything from my past was about to penetrate my present.
Carter
For ten years I’ve had to live with knowing that following my dreams lead to the love of my life disappearing from everyone she knew and loved. I should have been by her side but I was thousands of miles away. I’ve never stopped searching for her and I vowed I never would.
When she turns up in the most unbelievable of places, I work quickly to make sure she doesn’t know I’m here, too. I have to hide the truth until everything is in line so she doesn’t run on me again.
This time, I will get the forever she promised me all those years ago.
* Falling into the Black is a standalone novel with an HEA.
Black Widow
Preston
I bury my pain in a sex club. I can be anonymous and still be faithful to my deceased wife's memory. At the club, I can give and receive pleasure without guilt or attachment. My mask hides the lies of my past.
Kamii
My marriage ended tragically. Since then, the only excitement in my lonely, pathetic, workaholic life is reading erotic novels. However, I now have the chance to be whoever I want to be, where no one knows my past and will never be my future.
When their worlds collide, fantasies become a reality by pushing boundaries. The anonymity of Bridge offers protection from painful pasts, cunning schemes and dangerous lies. But when the masks are removed, there are no safewords to protect hearts and lives from buried truths.
Gravity
Gravity is not your normal, sweet romance of childhood friends to lovers. Spanning over twenty years—it’s raw, it’s real, asking the question if soul mates really exist.
Lily
At eight years old, the boy next door changed my life. He was the force pulling me toward him despite our differences. It was like magic.
We understood each other, supported each other and in the process became everything to each other.
But in chasing Trevin’s dream, I lost myself along the way.
Trevin
Through tremendous heartache, she was there. Through fame and fortune, she was there. Loving Lily was the one thing I got right.
Eclipsing her in my shadow, I took from her until she was empty. Now I must do anything to prove I can be the man she wants, no, the man she deserves.
Unwritten
Charlie Ashley, or Mr. Ashley as his clients know him, is a high-end male escort who gets paid thousands for whatever services his clients require. He’s lived the last ten years alone, not letting anyone in, enjoying his success and provocative lifestyle.
Allison Hayes has no idea the man she is falling in love with is a male escort. She connects with Charlie through their love of music, playing a taunting game asking herself if she loves him, hates him or if she is going to save him.
After meeting Allison, Charlie enters a world where everything he knows no longer makes sense, leaving him too scared to move forward, yet making it impossible to look back.
But can he give up his entire life for love?
Rewritten
Charlie loves Allison more than life itself. But is his love strong enough to end a part of him?
Allison found the man of her dreams but fate keeps slapping them in the face with new challenges making her wonder if everything really does happen for a reason.
There are decisions to be made, relationships to mend and futures to be told all with one question; is their love strong enough to be rewritten?
*REWRITTEN is the conclusion of the Unwritten Series.
Acknowledgments
Writing this novella was fun because it was 90% true, only he never came back after our, “I’ll never see you again,” goodbye, and I have no clue where he is today. During the entire process I was able to dig through old memories of the bad boy I personally dated years ago. What was tricky was separating fact from fiction and making sure the story made sense. I have my two amazing go-to beta readers to help with that, Jeannine Colette and Stefanie Pace. I’m not sure what I would do without either of them and I can’t thank them enough.
I’d also love to thank all the girls in our Secret Affair group! Your support, encouragement, and funny-as-hell antics have kept me going, wanting me to continue this journey of being an author. I’m extremely lucky to be a part of this group and I love you all to pieces!
About the Author
Lauren Runow is the author of multiple Adult Contemporary Romance novels, some more dirty than others. When Lauren isn't writing, you'll find her listening to music, at her local CrossFit, reading, or at the baseball field with her boys. Her only vice is coffee, and she swears it makes her a better mom!
Lauren is a graduate from the Academy of Art in San Francisco and is the founder and co-owner of the community magazine she and her husband publish. She lives in Northern California with her husband and two sons.
She’d love to hear your comments and feedback. Please take the time to leave a review on Goodreads, Amazon, iBooks or wherever you purchased Falling Into The Black.
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