by Lucy Gordon
'You came back,' she bubbled. 'You remembered my birthday. You did, you did, you did!'
With a shock Garth's eyes met Faye's. He hadn't remembered Cindy's birthday, and even now he couldn't recall the exact date.
'Mummy said not to be disappointed if you forgot,' Cindy said. 'But I knew you wouldn't.'
He had the grace to be conscience-stricken. 'Of course I didn't forget,' he improvised. Frantically his eyes meet Faye's, asking her help.
'Daddy knows it's your birthday on Saturday,' she said. 'In fact he came over to tell us that he'll be spending the whole day with us.'
Cindy squealed again with delight. Garth ground his teeth at the way Faye had backed him into a corner. Saturday was fully booked with important meetings. Faye's eyes were still on him, understanding everything, daring him to refuse.
He thought faster than he'd ever done in his life. 'That's right,' he said. 'We'll all be going out together. You, me, Mummy and Adrian.'
'Adrian's got a football match that afternoon,' Cindy said. 'Can we all go and watch it?'
'Of course we will,' Garth responded at once. 'Actually, I thought of inviting myself to stay with you for a while. Only if you want me, of course.' He was throwing the challenge back at Faye.
'Of course we want you,' Cindy declared, shocked. 'We do, don't we, Mummy? We want Daddy ever and ever so much.'
'Well, it's not quite that simple,' Garth said, as if giving the matter serious thought. 'You see, this house has only three bedrooms, so there isn't anywhere for me.'
'But it's easy,' Cindy said. 'I'll move in with Mummy and you can have my room.'
'Can I, darling? That's very nice of you.' He looked at Faye. 'You see? It's easy.'
Cindy danced off to find her brother, singing, 'Daddy's home! Daddy's home!' The other two regarded each other.
'I think you're the most unscrupulous man I've ever known,' Faye seethed. 'How dare you use a child's love in that cynical way?'
'But perhaps I'm not being cynical, Faye. You told me I should pay them more attention, especially Cindy. That's what I'm doing. Don't you think I've made her happy?'
'For your own ends, the way everything is for your own ends.'
'She's happy. Does it matter why?'
'It will matter, when you decide to change tactics and drop her. It's bad enough that you've neglected her until now, but when she finds that this sudden interest is only a way of using her, she'll stop trusting you. I don't want her to lose faith in the world so soon.'
'Would I do that to my own child?'
'You wouldn't even know you were doing it,' she said despairingly. 'But you mustn't do this. Go away, Garth. Leave us alone. We were happy without you-'
'Was Cindy?'
'All right, we weren't happy, but we survived.'
'And you don't think you could be happy with me around?'
'I don't think anyone could be happy with you around,' she said desperately. 'You don't bring happiness, or know how to create it. You only know things. Getting them, winning them, and buying them. Go back to that. You're good at it. But with people, you only destroy…'
Her voice choked off, and she turned sharply away.
'What is it?' Garth asked, coming after her.
'Nothing!'
'You're not crying, are you?'
'No, I'm not crying,' she insisted, quickly brushing her eyes. For a moment she'd been shaken by the thought of Garth here, ruining her hard-won peace. But she definitely wasn't crying.
'Here, let me look at you,' he said, turning her to face him. He pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed her eyes. 'There's no need to get upset about this.' His voice softened. 'I'm not really so bad, Faye.'
'Yes, you are,' she said huskily, almost hating him for that gentle note. She could cope with him angry, but gentleness recalled too many sweet memories that she had to block out to survive.
'Then teach me to be better. While I'm here you can show me how to get closer to the children, the way you've always said I should.'
'You're not going to stay here,' she insisted, desperately trying to hold her position against his clever tactics. 'The house is too small.'
'Then you know the answer. Move back to Elm Ridge, which is big enough for all of us.'
'Never. It's all over. You've got to accept that.'
'And suppose I don't choose to?' His voice was quiet, but the undertone of stubborn determination still throbbed through it.
'Doesn't anyone else get a say? What about how your family feels?'
'I think I'm doing the best thing for my family.'
She stood silent, wishing he would release her. His closeness, the feel of his hands on her arms, was recalling her reaction to his kiss only a few days ago. She'd thought herself safe until the devastating discovery that he could still play on her senses. Ten years ago, on their first date, he'd touched her carefully, as though fearing to break something precious. She could stand anything but that memory. If only he would let her go…
'Faye…' he said in an almost wondering tone.
'Garth, please…'
'Mummy, Mummy, I've done it.'
The shock made them break apart, staring at each other with startled eyes. Cindy erupted into the room.
'I've done it, Mummy. I've put my things into your room, and I've put everything tidy so that you won't have a mess to clear up. Honestly I have.' She grabbed Garth's hand. 'And I've taken one of your bags up to my room.'
'They're too heavy for you, pet.'
'It was just a little one. We could take the others up and I'll help you unpack. Let's do it now. Please.'
Faye met Garth's eyes, expecting to see in them a look of triumph. But instead there was something that might almost have been a plea. For a moment, father and daughter were almost comically alike, their faces both registering an urgent need to have their own way. Against her will, Faye's lips twitched.
'What's funny?' he asked quickly.
'Nothing that you'd understand,' she said with a smile.
'Mummy!' said Cindy insistently.
'All right. Help your father unpack.'
Cindy let out a yell of delight. 'Hooray, hooray, hooray! Daddy's home today! Hooray, hooray…' She repeated the couplet over and over, dancing a little jig of happiness, while Garth stared at her. It was the first time Faye could ever remember seeing him nonplussed.
Adrian appeared and came halfway down the stairs.
'Daddy's back, Daddy's back,' Cindy told him unnecessarily.
'Yes, I know-' Adrian looked awkward. 'Is it really true?'
'Just for a while,' Faye said quickly. 'None of us knows what's going to happen, but we'll try to make his visit nice.'
'Daddy,' Cindy called anxiously over the staircase.
'Coming,' Garth called, and went obediently up the stairs.
Faye had warned Garth that he was Cindy's idol but now, for the first time, he understood that this was the literal truth. Her joy at his arrival had confused him. He'd found himself instinctively clinging to the little girl as his only friend in hostile territory. Her adoration touched his heart and her relief that he'd returned for her birthday, as she thought, gave him a rare twinge of guilt.
It charmed him to discover that everything about her was emphatic. Neither her actions nor her feelings was moderate. Her enthusiasms filled the horizon, and whatever pleased her was the very best in the whole world. He knew how she felt, for he'd been the same as a child, and his adult single-mindedness had played a large part in his success.
Later that evening he sought her out where she was sitting on the steps of the French windows surveying the tiny garden, and sat down beside her. At that moment he had no other motive than to repay her love by being a good father.
'It's about time we planned your birthday present,' he suggested. 'Why don't you give me a list of what you want and I'll arrange everything?'
Cindy regarded her father in a way that Faye could have warned him meant she had a secret agenda. 'An
ything?' she asked.
'Anything.'
'Anything at all?'
'Absolutely anything in the whole wide world,' Garth promised incautiously. 'Tell me what it is.'
'A dog.'
He felt almost ludicrously disappointed. A dog was too easy. It gave him no chance to show Faye that she was wrong about him.
'Of course. I'll get in touch with a good breeder tomorrow,' he said, 'and I'll bring you the best puppy there is.' Then he recalled Faye's accusation that he settled everything without reference to others and, with a feeling of conscious virtue, he amended, 'No, you'll want to choose it yourself. You get the puppy and-I mean, we'll go and pick one out together.' He was learning fast.
Cindy nodded vigorously, beaming. A growing understanding of his daughter made Garth add, 'I expect you already know where to go.'
'That's right. Spare Paws.'
'Pardon?'
'Spare Paws. It's a home for abandoned dogs. I pass it every day on my way to school.'
'Darling, what do you want an abandoned dog for? Do you think I can't afford to buy you one?'
Cindy frowned, not understanding his argument. 'Nobody wants them,' she explained. 'They keep hoping and hoping that someone will give them a home.'
Just as she didn't understand his language, so he didn't understand hers. 'I can get you a pedigree puppy,' he protested, 'with a good bloodline-'
'But Daddy, people always give homes to pedigree puppies. I want a dog that nobody else wants.'
Garth ran a hand through his hair. 'But you won't know anything about this animal,' he argued. 'It might be full of diseases or fleas-'
'No, Spare Paws always gets its dogs clean and healthy before it lets them go,' Cindy contradicted him gently but firmly.
'Do they also make sure the dogs are friendly? Suppose this creature is vicious? No, darling, it's too chancy. You can choose a puppy from a breeder-'
'I don't want to,' Cindy said, sticking her bottom lip out. 'I want a dog that nobody else wants, one who's old and ugly, and blind in one eye, with a leg missing, and-and lots and lots and lots of fleas. And if I can't have that I don't want one at all.' She got up and ran away before Garth could reply.
A choke of laughter from behind made him look up to find Faye regarding him. 'If you'll pardon the pun, you made a real dog's breakfast of that,' she told him.
'Thank you,' he said, chagrined.
'Cindy doesn't care about bloodlines. She wants a dog who needs her love.'
'Isn't that true of any dog?'
'Yes, but it's more true if they're abandoned. And that matters to her.'
'The whole idea is impractical. I'm sorry. She can have a dog, but not like this.'
'We'll see.'
'I'm not going to change my mind.'
Faye took a deep breath. 'Well, it doesn't matter whether you do or not, because you don't make the decisions in this house,' she said calmly.
He scowled but she met his eyes.
'You're trying to make me sound unreasonable when I'm just being sensible,' he argued. 'That's very unfair tactics.'
'Well, if we're going to talk about unfair tactics, what about you barging in here?' she said indignantly.
To her surprise his manner held a touch of sheepish- ness.
'I used any method that would work,' he admitted.
'Anything that would get your own way,' she said lightly.
He grinned, and for a moment there was a touch of the old, boyish charm. 'It's what I'm good at.'
'Not as good as your daughter. I can't think who she gets it from, but she could give you lessons. Go and do your arguing with Cindy. My money's on her.'
CHAPTER THREE
Cindy was far too generous to exult over her victory but when they set off to Spare Paws, on the day before her birthday, there was a skip in her step.
They were met by Kelly, a pleasant woman in her late thirties, who greeted Cindy as an old friend.
'Cindy often helps us raise funds,' she explained. 'We're a charity, and we only exist through people's kindness.'
'Then perhaps this will help,' Garth said, scribbling a cheque.
Kelly's eyes widened at the sum. 'That's very generous, Mr Clayton.'
Cindy squeezed her father's hand gratefully. 'Can we buy some dog biscuits?' she begged, indicating a table where small bags of biscuits were on sale for a nominal price.
'It's hard to stop people feeding the dogs,' Kelly explained, 'so we provide these. Then we know what they're getting.'
Garth stocked up on biscuits. A very young kennel maid called Jane came to fetch Kelly to the phone, and take over her job of conducting the visitors.
'It's my first week here,' she confided to the children. 'I love them all so much that I'd like to take every one home with me.'
The place was overflowing with dogs, in cages that stretched in all directions. Smiling kennel maids passed down the lines with bowls of food. A tall woman in jeans;ind sweater appeared with six leads in her hand, calling, 'Who's next for walkies?'
'Some of them are never going to leave us,' Jane said with a sigh. 'They're too old, or there's something wrong with them. So we try to make this a home for them.'
The atmosphere was cheerful. Every dog was an individual to be called by name with a friendly pat and a smile. But they were unwanted by the world. Most still had the desperate eagerness of those who clung to hope, and they barked and bounced to attract attention. Others sat in the resigned silence of creatures who'd been passed over too often.
'I want them all,' Cindy said plaintively.
'I know,' Faye sighed. 'It's heartbreaking, isn't it? But we can only have one, darling.'
Jane took several dogs out of their cages to be properly introduced. Cindy hugged them, but none seemed to be exactly what she was looking for.
'I'll know when I find it,' she said in answer to Garth's query.
'How?' he persisted.
'I'll just know.'
'I remember hearing you say that in exactly the same tone,' Faye reminded him. 'You'd just got your first builder's yard and you were choosing a foreman. You picked the strangest looking man because you just knew he was ideal.'
'And I was right, wasn't I?'
'Oh yes,' she said with a smile. 'Your instinct was always right.' She spoke amiably because the sun and the pleasant atmosphere were affecting her mood. Garth was behaving well, holding Cindy's hand and attending to her. Whatever his motives, Cindy was so happy at this moment that Faye would have forgiven him much.
He'd done something else, too, that had put him in her good books. Seeing her come downstairs in her buttercup-yellow shirt and fawn trousers he'd observed, 'You've lost weight. About twenty pounds I'd say.'
'Only fourteen,' she said regretfully. 'But I'm fighting for another seven.'
'Go for it! You look terrific.'
Since she'd struggled and fought for her weight loss, she appreciated this more than she would have admitted. Kendall's reaction, 'But you were fine as you were', though kindly meant, had been lacking something. Now she knew what it was.
'Oh, Daddy, look!' the little girl said suddenly. 'Poor doggy! He's so sad.'
The biggest St Bernard Faye had ever seen was regarding them soulfully. His great jowls hung from his face, and his eyes were those of one who carried weighty burdens with dignity. When Cindy called to him, he came eagerly to the wire of his cage.
'I want to hug him,' she told Jane earnestly.
'Is that wise?' Faye asked as Jane unlocked the cage. 'He's ten times her size.'
'Don't worry, he's the gentlest dog we've got,' Jane assured her.
'St Bernards are always gentle,' Adrian said. 'They're docile and obedient, and veiy intelligent. That's why they're used for mountain rescue.'
'Where did you get that?' Garth asked, for it was clear the boy was quoting.
'From Ken,' Adrian said. 'He knows a lot about them.'
Garth's face clouded but he said no more. Cindy was hugging the huge dog
, who received her caresses eagerly. Benevolence beamed from his eyes, and he uttered a bark of approval that almost deafened everyone.
'His name's Barker,' Jane said, uncovering her ears, 'because that's what he is.'
As if in confirmation Barker promptly boomed again.
'His owner died six months ago,' Jane told them. 'He didn't have any family, and it's hard to find him a new home, because he's so big.'
'He's lovely,' Cindy enthused, burying her face in the thick, brown and white fur.
'Yes, he is,' Adrian said, stroking the huge head gently.
'Hey, kids, come on,' Faye said in alarm. 'He's too big for us, as well. We can't have him in our little house.'
'Why not?' Garth demanded. 'There are fields at the back where you can take him for exercise. He looks a terrific dog to me.'
Barker offered a paw, which both the children solemnly shook.
'Daddy, he wants to shake hands with you,' Cindy said.
Under Faye's incredulous eye, Garth took the huge powder puff offered to him. 'Pleased to meet you, sir,' he declared.
This was obviously the right response for both children, who beamed. Garth ran his hands over Barker's vast frame and offered him a biscuit, which vanished with the speed of light. Another went the same way. The next moment Barker's head was resting in Garth's hands, his eyes suggesting that this was his first food for a month.
'He likes you, Daddy,' Cindy said, delighted.
'Yes, I think he does. Hey, you're a splendid fellow, aren't you?'
Barker agreed, his eyes fixed on the biscuits.
Faye was growing more nervous. 'Don't encourage them,' she told Garth. 'It's out of the question.'
'Why is it, if they want him?'
'In that little house?'
He glanced up and her suspicions were confirmed. 'I know what you're up to and it won't work,' she told him in an undervoice. 'Garth, I'm not going to be manipulated like this.'
He moved aside with her, out of the children's hearing. 'Why must you always think the worst of me?'
