by Lucy Gordon
In fact, her visit to Kendall hadn't been the comfort she'd hoped. She'd poured out her worries, hoping to find understanding, but Kendall had frowned and said lightly, 'Must you spoil our few moments together by talking about your husband all the time?'
'I'm sorry,' she'd said stiffly. 'I didn't mean to be a bore.'
He'd apologized nicely, but the fact remained Kendall liked her whole attention, and was irked because he no longer had it. Was that what had made him suggest that she move back to Elm Ridge, as Garth wanted?
'It might help get him out of your system again,' he'd pointed out, adding in an undervoice, 'something needs to.'
'That's not fair. It's all over between Garth and me.'
'Well, I certainly hope so, because I'm beginning to find him a very boring third in our relationship. I think a spell in your old home might remind you of what made you leave him.' He grinned. 'Then maybe you'd have eyes for me again.'
'Kendall, I love you. You know I do.'
'Do you?' he asked coolly. 'Or are you just running away from Garth? I want all or nothing from you, Faye. Being your refuge from Garth Clayton just isn't good enough.'
'But you're not. I do love you,' she protested.
'Then we have nothing to fear.'
But she knew there was something to fear, even though, on the surface, she and Garth were managing to get by well enough. She was glad to see that he made an effort to be with Cindy and Adrian. Even so, he often spent Saturday in his office and arrived home with a briefcase full of work. Faye and the children would take Barker for a romp in the fields behind the house and get back to find Garth there, poring over his computer.
She had been briefly afraid that he would try to take over her own computer, but after one glance at it he'd roared with laughter. She understood why when she saw his machine, a sleek, state-of-the-art beauty that made her green with envy.
Kendall's assumption that there was nothing to fear troubled her. Despite their mutual hostility, Garth still affected her dangerously. That might seem an argument for going to Elm Ridge, where there was more room, but she knew such a move would be even less safe. Garth would assume he'd won the battle to get her back, and she would never let him think that.
In the end it was Barker who settled the matter in an unexpected way. His idea of fun was to chase madly through the little house, pursued by Adrian, Cindy and herself. Garth never joined in these games, preferring to enjoy the spectacle from the sidelines.
One Saturday afternoon Barker varied the game by raiding the laundry basket. Seeing him trailing clothes, Faye launched herself onto him in a frantic rugby tackle. The children tumbled after her, and the four of them rolled on the floor. It was at this point that Kelly arrived for her check-up visit.
'When I let you have Barker I hadn't realized just how small this place was,' she said worriedly, over a cup of tea. 'A dog his size needs far more room. Your garden is like a pocket handkerchief.'
'But we do take him for walks in the fields at the back,' Faye said.
'Every day?'
'Well, not for the last week,' Faye amended awkwardly. This wasn't the moment to mention the mayhem Barker had caused by chasing squirrels, all of whom had evaded him easily.
Kelly sighed. 'I did say, when I handed him over, that if I wasn't satisfied with his conditions it might be a case for taking him back.'
Cindy and Adrian set up such an outcry that Kelly winced. 'I know it seems hard,' she said, 'but it really isn't kind to Barker to keep him here.'
'But we love him,' Cindy said desperately. 'And he loves us. You can't take him. Daddy, don't let her take Barker.'
'He can't live in this tiny space,' Kelly repeated.
Garth's eyes, full of a message, met Faye's. She drew a deep breath, knowing how she was being propelled into a decision she'd sworn not to make, yet unable to do anything about it. The children were looking at her frantically as they realized they might actually lose their beloved friend.
'We do have the chance of larger premises, with a huge garden,' Garth said, 'but there are a few problems.'
'There are no problems,' Faye said briskly, realizing that she'd been backed into a corner. 'Elm Ridge is standing empty and we can move in tomorrow. Kelly, why don't you come and see us there next week?'
The children jumped around carolling loudly, while Barker added his voice to the proceedings.
When Kelly had gone, Faye took the tea things into the kitchen. Washing them up would give her thoughts time to calm down. Garth had outmanoeuvred her, but that only increased her determination not to yield any more ground. He came in after a moment.
'I'm glad we got that settled,' he said.
'Garth, don't read too much into this,' Faye warned. 'Nothing has really changed.
'If you're coming home, I'd say a lot had changed.'
'I'm not "coming home". I'm changing premises, but only for a while. I still want that divorce, and when I've got it I'm going to marry Kendall.'
'Don't you think living with me will make a divorce rather difficult?'
'Can't you understand? I won't be living with you. We'll be under the same roof but not living as man and wife. We'll have separate rooms and live separate lives.'
His expression hardened. 'And what exactly does "separate lives" mean?'
'It means I'm still engaged to Kendall, and I'll see him when I like.'
'And suppose your husband has other ideas?'
'It won't make any difference.'
'So my wishes count for nothing?' "That's right. You've won a small victory by getting us there, but that's all. I'm not your wife, and I'll do as I please.'
'My God! It's like beating my head against marble,' he said angrily. 'You were never like this before.'
'I've changed, Garth.'
'You sure as hell have!'
'But so have you. You're not the loving man I married, any more than I'm the docile girl you married.' Her lips curved in a faint, elusive smile. 'Watching you taught me a lot about standing on my own feet, and I've learned the lessons well. Just regard me as a housekeeper.'
'I already have one, in Nancy.'
'Well, now you've got two. And, like any housekeeper, I'll live my own life, and my employer won't ask questions.'
'Oh, won't he?'
'Not unless he wants to receive some dusty answers.' Mischievously she echoed his own words, 'I'm glad we got that settled.'
'I haven't-'
'It's settled, Garth. Believe me, it's settled.'
They returned to Elm Ridge to a huge welcome from Nancy, overjoyed, 'to have some life in the place again', as she said to Faye over a coffee in the kitchen.
'He's been like a bear with a sore head since you all left. Not that he was ever exactly sweetness and light.'
'He was, once,' Faye mused, then stopped. She'd promised herself not to start looking back, no matter how much the house affected her.
But he had been different: not sweetness and light, but generous and passionately loving to her. So many nights of physical rapture in the perfect union of their bodies. So many days of sadness as their minds and hearts grew further apart.
Adrian and Cindy eagerly took possession of their old rooms, then introduced Barker to the huge garden, which he tore around as madly as a puppy. This resulted in his first meeting with Fred, who came in two afternoons a week to keep the grounds in order. Fred was a grumpy individual who had his own views on dogs who trampled across his freshly weeded flower beds, and he expressed them loudly. But by then Barker was out of earshot.
Faye was touched to see that Garth had had her room redecorated in her favourite autumnal colours. On the dressing table lay a gift box, containing a set of emerald earrings.
'They're a welcome present,' he said from the doorway. He seemed almost nervous. 'I can show my gratitude, can't I?'
'Garth, they're really beautiful, and it was sweet of you to think of it, but-'
'Just try them on.'
'You don't have anything
to be grateful for. You know why I'm here. I don't think I can accept these.' She extended her hand, with the box.
'Look,' he said with almost a touch of desperation, 'it's your birthday next week. Call it an early birthday present. The children will notice if I don't give you something.'
'You can give me something small. I can't take these.'
He was pale. 'Just as you wish.'
For a moment her resolution faltered. There was a look on his face that took her by surprise. Years ago he'd gone without lunch for a week to buy her a special gift, which had broken as soon as it was opened. His expression then had been the same as now, the look of a hurt boy. He controlled it so quickly that Faye wasn't sure she'd seen it, but she spoke her next words gently. 'Garth, I did tell you-'
'Yes, you made your position very plain. I just hadn't expected you to be so-so unyielding.'
'Maybe I was too yielding in the past.'
'Well, you're sure making up for it now,' he said, going to the door. 'And don't worry. I'm still sleeping in the room downstairs.'
Barker might be a daft mutt, as Faye often complained, but he had a sense of self-preservation that made him spend the first week wooing Nancy. In a few days she'd progressed from 'Get your muddy paws out of my kitchen,' to 'Poor doggie, don't they ever feed you?'
During that week Faye saw little of Garth. She was left in peace to settle herself into her old home, and after the first day she found she could cope. She was grateful for Garth's reticence. On the odd occasions when he was around, he gave all his attention to the children and maintained a civil distance from herself.
Cindy and Adrian were so happy, especially with the huge garden, that Faye knew a twinge of guilt. Had she been selfish in taking them away from this lovely setting? But then she thought of Kendall's spacious premises and his collection of rescued animals. The children loved his home. They would be just as happy there when the time came.
Two days before her birthday Garth gave her his present early. It was a computer, identical to his own, that would be a boon for her book-keeping work. But Faye's reaction was divided between pleasure at the gleaming monster and a suspicion that Garth was muscling in on her territory.
'It's another takeover bid, isn't it?' she demanded.
'What was that?'
'It's a show of power. You're saying that I can't even manage my trivial little job without your guiding hand.'
'Well, I'll be-!' he exclaimed angrily. 'Your tortuous mind is something I'll never figure out. You bend my ear about your independence, and how I'm holding you back. Well, I'll tell you what's holding you back: that steam-age machine you're using! You need a better one. / was trying to be nice, for Pete's sake't'
He stormed out, slamming the door. Shocked, Faye realized that he was genuinely upset. She stood for a moment, undecided, before following him into his study.
'I'm sorry,' she said at once. 'I shouldn't have said what I did.'
'You really have got me down as a villain, haven't you?'
'It was unforgivable of me,' she said contritely.
His mouth twisted. 'I never found anything you did unforgivable. But I will if you refuse it.'
She smiled. 'I'm not going to refuse it. I'm going to ask you to show me how to work it.'
'Now you're talking.'
The children were fascinated by the machine, but scandalized to discover what it was for.
'Daddies don't give mummies computers for their birthdays,' Cindy protested.
'You think I should give her something more personal?' Garth mused. 'I'll bear it in mind.'
The next morning Faye was deep in work when the phone rang in Garth's study. Nancy was out shopping and Faye was alone in the house. She hurried in and snatched the receiver up so quickly that she dropped it. The weight pulled the whole machine off the desk, forcing her to scrabble on the floor. By the time she'd retrieved everything the woman on the other end was already talking.
'Couldn't think where you'd got to.' She gave a husky laugh. She sounded young, and there was a note of intimacy in her voice. 'You're usually so punctual that we could set the clock by you.'
'Excuse me?' Faye said.
After a brief pause the woman said, 'I thought I was talking to Mr Clayton. Evidently not.'
'No, I'm-'
'I've called to find out if anything's happened to him. He's usually at work by now.'
'He left at the usual time this morning,' Faye said. 'Perhaps he got stuck in some traffic. By the way, my name's-'
'He's got a client due in a few minutes,' the young woman cut across her. 'It's not like him to miss an appointment.'
'Then I'm sure he'll be there,' Faye replied in a voice that held an edge of annoyance at the woman's rudeness. 'Are you his secretary?'
'Don't be ridiculous,' the young woman said frostily. 'Of course I'm not a secretary. I am Lysandra Bates, the Director of Publicity for Clayton Properties. I can't waste time talking. If Garth calls, I want you to give him a message from me.'
'I'm afraid I'm not a secretary either,' Faye said, feeling bolshie.
'All right, all right, so you're the housekeeper, cleaning woman, whatever,' Lysandra snapped. 'And I suggest you keep a civil tongue in your head, whoever you are. Write this down, and don't waste any more of my time.'
'Actually, I'm Garth's wife,' Faye said, goaded into one of her rare tempers.
She had the satisfaction of knowing that she'd silenced the other woman. After a moment Lysandra Bates said tensely, 'I had no idea- That is, I understood- Mr Clayton, I've been worried about you.' She turned back to the phone. 'He's just arrived. Crisis over.'
'I'm so glad,' Faye said politely.
'Good day to you.'
'And good day to you' Faye murmured, regarding the phone, which had gone dead before she could reply.
Nancy put her head around the door. 'I'm back. Want a coffee?'
'Yes please, and make it strong. I need something after that. Have you come across Lysandra Bates, Nancy?'
'Oh, her,' Nancy said in a voice of deep significance.
'I didn't like her either,' Faye said, following Nancy into the kitchen. 'She thought I was the housekeeper.'
'And she talked as if she had a bad smell under her nose,' Nancy supplied.
'Exactly. She's obviously called before. So how come she didn't realize that I wasn't you? Our voices are quite different.'
'She wouldn't notice that, although goodness knows, she's telephoned often enough. To Miss Bates all underlings are beneath her notice.'
'You say she telephones often?'
'Every time she can find an excuse. Once, she turned up with some papers she said Mr Clayton needed. I thought he looked a bit surprised myself. Oh, she'd like to make herself at home here. But of course,' she added hastily, 'it's all on her side.'
'It's all right, Nancy,' Faye said, amused. 'You know this situation isn't permanent.' She'd taken Nancy into her confidence days ago.
'But he wants you back,' Nancy said, scandalized. 'You know he does.'
'Hmm. Just the same, I wouldn't put it past him to have my replacement lined up to massage his ego, just in case. I don't mind if they get together. I just didn't like her being rude to me, that's all.'
'There's nothing in it,' Nancy said firmly. 'Just because she's got an eye for the boss, it doesn't mean that he's got an eye for her.'
'I've told you, I don't care if he is interested in another woman,' Faye said, a tad more sharply than she'd intended.
Nancy gave her an appraising glance, but had the tact to let the subject drop.
When Garth returned that night Faye told him about the call, not mentioning Lysandra's rudeness but only his mysterious lateness for work. To her surprise he reddened, mumbled something and quickly changed the subject.
'I wanted to talk about your birthday,' he said. 'I'd like us to have a family evening out, rather than have you spend it with Haines.'
'That's fine,' she said. 'I was planning to stay with the childr
en anyway.'
He hesitated. 'And you don't mind if I tag along?'
'The kids will never forgive you if you don't.'
The following day he offered Faye a tiny gold watch, delicate, restrained, and impossible to refuse.
'That's why I was late for work yesterday morning,' he admitted. 'I had to go to three shops to find the right one.' Then, seeing her astonished face, he added hastily, 'But it's just a trifle. Nothing that you can't accept.'
Three shops, she mused. Late for work. Garth?
She wore the watch to the restaurant, where the whole family went to celebrate that night. It was a pleasant time, with Garth at his best, talking to Faye in a general way that didn't create any awkwardness, and listening attentively to his children.
'Are you getting excited about Cornwall?' he asked, and both youngsters grinned with delight at the prospect of the school camping trip to come.
But then Cindy said worriedly, 'Will Barker be all right without us?'
'Don't worry, you can leave everything to me,' Garth said easily. He saw Faye's lips twitching and said defensively, 'I can be good at things if I set my mind to it.'
'I know you can,' she admitted.
The meal went slowly, because at every course Cindy insisted on a doggy bag to take some home to Barker.
'What happens if we want to eat something?' Garth enquired in a spirit of curiosity. 'This is supposed to be your mother's birthday treat.'
'But Daddy, poor Barker's all alone at home,' Cindy pointed out.
'Well, at least he didn't try to get into the car with us this time,' Garth said with a grin.
'Yes, it was strange how quiet he was,' Faye mused.
'I think this is the best mummy's birthday ever,' Cindy said blissfully. 'And mine was the best me birthday ever.'
'What about that time I gave you a bike?' Garth asked. 'You were pretty pleased with that.'
'Oh, yes, it was a lovely bike,' Cindy said politely.
Too late he realized he'd put his foot in it. That had been her last birthday before the split, and he'd spent it the other side of the world. Faye had presented the bike. He sought back for a better birthday memory, and was shocked that he couldn't find one. Surely he couldn't have failed her every time?
