by Paul Bellow
Contents
Chapter 1 - Eric - No Honor Among Old Thieves
Chapter 2 - Eric - Magic the Mirror Gathering
Chapter 3 - Sarah - Armor of Orc Odors is Treasure?
Chapter 4 - Sarah - Curse of the Dynamite Liger
Chapter 5 - Eric - Why Won’t Anyone Join Party?
Chapter 6 - Eric - An Attorney Will be Provided
Chapter 7 - Sarah - Gauntlet Fits, You Must Acquit
Chapter 8 - Sarah - Random Encounter Resources
Chapter 9 - Eric - Seeking the Sword of Sands
Chapter 10 - Eric - The Return of the Dwarves
Chapter 11 - Sarah - Formerly Four Towers Future
Chapter 12 - Sarah - Mines of Oriam Entrance
Chapter 13 - Eric - Revenge of the Hill Giants
Chapter 14 - Eric - A Giant by Any Other Name
Chapter 15 - Sarah - A Game Within a Game?
Chapter 16 - Sarah - Dream a Little Nightmare...
Chapter 17 - Eric - Standard Troglodyte Infestation
Chapter 18 - Eric - Troglodyte Mass Destruction
Chapter 19 - Sarah - That's No Ordinary Tunnel
Chapter 20 - Eric - Dwarven Magic and Might
Chapter 21 - Eric - Wight Mage, Glitches
Chapter 22 - Sarah - Blame a Black Dragon
Chapter 23 - Eric - Remember the Worm!
Chapter 24 - Sarah - Not So Wonderful Wand
Chapter 25 - Eric - Dark Knight Seeks Asylum
Chapter 26 - Eric - Goodbye, Dear Friend
Chapter 27 - Eric - Player identification number?
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()xxxx[:::: Chapter 1 ::::>
No Honor Among Old Thieves
ERIC
On the other side of the portal, we stepped into a foul-smelling kitchen.
"Where are we?" Sarah asked.
"Not sure," I said. "At least we're all together this time."
"Must be the Amulet of the Party," Bernard said.
Ewen and Evan rushed toward a long, wooden table.
"Food," Evan said as if he hadn't eaten in days.
"Hold on," I said, walking over to them. "We'll go to the dining room and order some food."
A nearby double-door swung open. A pudgy man wearing a grease-stained apron that might've been white at some point walked in. He growled as he noticed us.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked. "Brownies? An elf? What's going on in here?"
"Good food," Evan said, oblivious and not helping the situation.
"We're leaving," I said. "We don't want any trouble."
"That doesn't tell me why you're in here," he said. "And why are you wearing goblin armor?"
He looked up and down my body while holding a meat cleaver in his right hand.
"It's a war-trophy," I said. "Nothing more. Is there a back door out of this place?"
"No," he said. "I'm still waiting on you to tell me how you five got in here."
"Magic," Sarah said, stepping forward with flourish.
The man stepped back and held up the knife.
"I don't want any trouble," he said.
"Good. We don't want to give you any," I said. "Come on, guys. Let's get out of here."
The man rushed back through the swinging door. I took a deep breath.
"Can you cast that illusion spell on yourself and the brownies?" I asked Sarah.
She nodded.
"Yeah, it might be a good idea."
"Human appearance is the way to go if that guy's any indication of the people on this level."
"I don't wanna be human," Evan said, a turkey leg in one hand and a roll in the other.
Food pushed out of his mouth as he talked, his smile still going strong.
"It's not permanent," I said. "Remember before?"
"Not a goblin," he said then went back to eating.
"Do it while I watch the door," I said, walking over.
As she cast the spell to disguise herself and the brownies, I stood in front of the swinging double-doors. The noise in the next room increased in volume.
"We should hurry," Bernard said. "The natives are getting restless."
"Done." Sarah smiled. "All too human."
She looked like a tall, blonde-haired human female. The brownies were shorter, and male, but they no longer stuck out as non-human. Would race play an even bigger role on level one-two?
"They're in the kitchen," the man from earlier said on the other side of the doors. "Come in and see for yourself. Two brownies, an elf, and some guy wearing goblin armor."
I stepped back as he swung the door open. His eyes opened wide when we saw us. A group of men in black leather armor stood around him.
"Have you been drinking again, Frank?" one of the men asked.
The others laughed.
"What are they doing in my kitchen?"
"This is all a misunderstanding," I said as I walked past him.
The others followed me into a bustling dining room filled with men and women.
"What happened to the elf and brownies?" the man in the apron asked.
"You smoking that wizard weed again, Thomas?" someone asked.
The others erupted into laughter again. I stepped toward the entrance on the establishment, hoping to get away and figure out where we'd spawned.
We were in the past, but where on the Grabisco Isles were we?
At the door, I turned around and saw no one had followed me. Sarah, Bernard and the brownies were sitting at a table in the corner. I sighed then walked over.
When I reached them, I asked, "Weren't we going to leave?"
"Yeah," Sarah said. "But now we appear human, so we can stay. The brownies are hungry."
Evan pounded his fists on the wooden table.
"Food, food, food," he said.
"Cut it out." Ewen shoved him on the arm. "Bozo."
"You're the bozo," Evan said.
"Knock it off, you two," Sarah said then looked up. "We can try to find out where we are before making any rash decisions."
"I'm not eating anything that comes out of that kitchen," I said.
"No? Why not?" the greasy cook asked.
"Food," Evan said. "Bring us food."
"I'll bring you the house special," the nameless cook said.
He wiped his dirty hands on his apron then turned and walked away.
I sat down next to Sarah at the rectangular table.
"We've got to stop making stupid decisions," she said.
"I agree." I said. "But we've got to make them together."
"We need a leader," Bernard said.
I turned my head to Sarah.
"Oh, no," she said. "Don't look at me."
"You're the most level-headed of our group," I said.
"I think you've done fine as a leader," she said.
Bernard lowered his head as he shook it.
"What?" I asked.
"There's things I would've done differently," he said.
"Yeah? Like what?"
I stared at him across the table.
"Letting me join the party sooner for one."
He smiled. I found it hard to hate him.
"And the bee hives," he continued. "That was dumb. And we should've tried to take out Magi Inyontoo after sneaking into his tower."
"Okay, okay," I said. "Anything else?"
He shook his head.
"The big thing we need to do is communicate," I said. "If we want out of this game, it'll take all of us."
"What language are you speaking in?" the cook asked.
> I looked up and saw him holding a tray with five bowls on it.
"Magic," Sarah said then winked.
"I knew it. You're the elf, aren't you?"
He lowered the tray and dropped it on the table. Murky liquid splashed out. Evan grabbed a bowl and smiled as he set it down in front of him.
"Here's a gold," I said as I pulled a coin out of my bag. "This should cover any of your concerns."
The man grabbed the coin from my hand.
"What realm is this from? I've never seen a coin like this before," he said.
Oh no. We have gold coins from the future.
"They're from an old dwarven mine," Sarah said.
"It's real, right?"
He bit the coin.
"Yes, it's real," I said. "That'll pay for our room tonight too, right?"
He laughed as he slipped the coin behind his apron and into a pocket.
"Ain't no rooms available in a hundred miles. You five are here for the next goblin raid, aren't you?"
"Yeah," I blurted. "Bring us some water and leave us alone."
The man walked away. I turned to Sarah.
"Maybe the humans are more powerful than the goblins in this time-period?" I asked.
"Sounds like it," Bernard said. "We still have no idea where we are yet."
"You should've questioned the cook more," Sarah said.
"Nah, we didn't want to seem suspicious," I said.
A man with a long white beard slid up to our table in wrinkled, weather-worn clothes.
"Is that dwarven you're speaking?" he asked, eyes squinting.
"Yeah," I said to keep him talking. "What's it to you?"
"Hardly anyone speaks dwarven anymore since all the dwarves disappeared."
"Uh huh," I said. "And?"
He smiled, several teeth missing.
"You're the people I've been waiting on," he said.
I glanced at Sarah then back to the old man.
"Who are you waiting on?" I asked.
"Adventurers like you." He glanced around the room briefly then leaned in to the table. "I know the location of the Mines of Oriam, and I can help you find them."
"Why would we want to go there?" Sarah asked.
The man kept his elbows on the weathered and well-textured wood.
"Well," he said. "You can go on the next goblin raid if you want, but the dwarven mines will net you more treasure than you can carry."
We'd needed better eq to defeat Magi Inyontoo and his crew.
"Have a seat," I said.
As the wrinkled man pulled up a chair and sat down, the cook returned.
"Here's your water," he said. "Tinner isn't bothering you, is he?"
The old man at our table smiled gleefully.
"No," I said. "That's all for now."
"If he gives you trouble, just holler."
Tinner stuck out his tongue at the grimy cook.
"I'm gonna chop that thing out," he said, pulling his meat cleaver from his belt.
Evan burped, relieving the tension in the air.
As the cook walked away, several men at a nearby table stood and left.
"Now," I continued. "What's this you were talking about?"
Tinner reached out and pulled a bowl of gruel closer.
"I have a map," the old man said. "And I'm willing to sell it to you."
"How much?" Sarah asked.
"I don't need a lot for it," Tinner said. "But if you find the treasure, bring some back for me. That's all I ask."
"That's all, huh?" I asked, shaking my head.
I considered the man more carefully.
[NPC] Tinner
This old man looks at least a hundred-years-old. While you find it hard to read his face, you're convinced he's telling the truth about his map.
"How much do you want for it?" I asked.
Sarah looked at me but said nothing.
"A thousand gold," Tinner said.
"That won't happen," I said. "We'll give you two gold."
"Really?" he asked, smiling. "I'll take it."
"Let's see this map first," Sarah said.
"Good idea," Bernard added.
"Are you going to eat that soup?" Evan asked.
I pushed my bowl in front of the incognito brownie.
"Do you have the map with you?" I asked.
"I do, but we shouldn't look at it here."
Tinner glanced around the dining room. Several shady men were looking in our direction.
"Let's get out of here," I said.
"And go where?" Sarah asked. "We don't even know where we are yet."
Tinner laughed.
"You don't know where you are yet?" he asked.
"It's a long story," I said. "There's an extra few silver pieces in it if you tell us where we are."
"That's easy," Tinner said. "The Gob Stopper, finest dive in all Esterhollow."
I looked from Bernard to Sarah then back to Tinner.
"You have somewhere private we can talk and look at this map?" I asked.
He nodded and said, "I know just the place."
"Great," I said, standing. "Let's get out of here."
"More food," Evan whined.
"Come on, bozo," Ewen chided. "You've had enough."
Some more reluctantly than others, our party of five followed Tinner outside. The bright sun hit us the minute we walked outside. I stared up, shielding my eyes with my hand.
"Should we help the humans? Or the goblins?" I asked.
"What about the elves?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, exactly," I said. "Who should we help to make the world a better place?"
"It's the dwarves," Tinner said behind me.
"Are you listening to us?" I asked as I turned around.
"I don't understand all the words you say, but if you're serious about making the realm a better place, you need to bring the dwarves back."
"Why did they leave?" Bernard asked. "I never found out myself."
Tinner grinned.
"I'll tell you all about it," he said. "But first you need to buy this map from me."
"Hold on," Sarah said. "I want to try something."
She turned to Tinner.
"Do you want to join our party?" she asked.
He laughed, almost falling to the ground.
"I'm too old," he said between chuckles. "Way too old for adventuring."
"Let's see this map," Bernard said. "You keep talking about it, but I think you're making it up."
"I'm not making anything up," Tinner said. "I'll show you the map."
He reached up under his shirt and pulled out a rolled piece of parchment.
"Let's see," I said as I took it from him.
"Be careful," he said. "It's ancient."
Sarah took the parchment from me and unrolled it.
"The text is in dwarven," she said.
"We don't need to read the text," I said. "Because it's a map. There's an x in the mountains to the east of Westwood."
"The badlands," Tinner said. "Bad place, but it's the way to the treasure."
"How do we even know if it's a treasure map?" Bernard asked.
"Good question," I said, looking at Tinner.
"What else would it be?" he asked.
"A map of where not to go," Sarah said. "We don't even know if this level has a main quest or not."
Tinner furrowed his brow as he stared at her.
"We'll take the map," I said. "Sarah, give him a couple gold."
"Sure," she said. "Wait. My pouch is missing."
Bernard, her and I all looked at Tinner.
"It wasn't me," he said. "Where's those two short fellows?"
"Evan and Ewen," Sarah said, looking around.
They were nowhere to be found.
"Evan must've picked your pocket," I said, smiling like a proud father. "There's hope for him yet. His skills are increasing."
"We need to find them before they spend all our gold," Bernard said.
He's becoming the voice o
f reason in our party.
"Yeah," I said, scanning the street for the two brownies.
We had disguised them as short humans, but that didn't mean they wouldn't get into trouble.
"Here," I said, retrieving a small opal from the inside of my belt. "Take this for the map. It's worth over two gold."
Tinner greedily grabbed the gemstone.
"Eric, we might need that," Sarah said.
I turned and saw Tinner high-tailing it down the street.
"Maybe I should carry our money and valuables," Bernard said.
"We've got too many rogues in our party," I said, shaking my head.
"Do you have any other money?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, a few more gems. Enough to get a cart and a couple horses."
"Are we going to follow this map? We've not had the best of luck with cartography in the past."
I grinned.
"True, but our party is growing. We'll get better," I said.
"I see them," Sarah said, pointing.
All three of us rushed down the street where the two brownies stood holding rats on a stick.
"Where did you guys go?" Sarah asked.
"Sorry, Sarah," Evan said. "We were hungry."
"Where's my pouch?" she asked.
"Your pouch?" he asked.
"Give it up if you took it," Ewen said.
People walked all around us as we stood to the left of a side street.
"I didn't take it," he said. "We had our own money from before."
"The old man," I said. "He tricked us."
"At least we got this dwarven map that might not be real," Bernard said sarcastically.
"Come on," Sarah said. "He fooled you too."
"Let's not argue out here in public," I said. "We'll have to sell something."
"Not my staff," Sarah said. "Or the wands."
"Let's sell the brownies," Bernard said then chuckled.
Evan stepped forward and tossed his half-eaten rat to the ground.
"I say we go find that bad man and teach him a thing or three."
"That's the spirit," I said then grinned. "We can find him."
"And make him pay," Bernard said in a dark-tone.
