by Gary Weston
Frogmorten and Cracker shared a look. ‘That’s just fine with us,’ said Frogmorten. ‘Is it ok to get out of these suits?’
‘As long as you’re wearing underwear, yes.’
Suits were readily abandoned.
‘She’s very pretty, Karma,’ whispered Shannon.
‘Jackie being young sometimes has that affect on people. It’ll wear off. Right. You two do geeky things, we’ll join you in the galley for a feed and a chat later.’
‘Thank you,’ said Cracker with a smile and a wink at Shannon. ‘Come on, Aristotle. We’ve a probe to take apart.’
Chapter 311
Boss opened his messages on the huge screen in his office. All he had was a report from General Millet.
‘Boss. Scientists and probe are now safely on the freighter. They’re busy taking the thing apart, and will be studying the stored information once they’ve figured out a way to match technology from a hundred and fifty years ago, with where we are today. I heard words like inter-facial primary configurations and my eyes suddenly glazed over. But, we are all alive and well, and on our way to Home. I’ll not bore you with any more inconsequential reports, unless the geeks have a eureka moment. Over.’
Boss was pleased. Nobody had died, which was always a good thing. He was thinking these things when Miss Saltoe entered.
‘Boss. I’ve had the Council finance chief on my line. More than a little concerned about this mission. Not sure about the costs being justified. On about an official enquiry.’
‘Crap. That’s all we need. What did you tell him?’
Saltoe grinned. ‘That the minuscule expenditure ratio to fiscal gains made this mission an imperative assignment.’
‘And they swallowed that?’
‘For now. I promised them figures on just how fiscally beneficial this mission will ultimately prove to be.’
Boss could see merit with that. ‘For when, exactly?’
‘Unspecified. I told them a medium to long term financial cycle would inevitably produce a positive return.’
‘Which means?’
‘I have no idea. But it sounded good when I said it.’
Boss paced his office floor. ‘Right. So. We’ve a load of doodah being hurled at a fan, but the fan hasn’t yet been turned on.’
‘I couldn’t have put it better myself. But I would definitely advise ducking when they decide to turn that fan on.’
‘I’ll remember to do that. You can update them with a report that the mission is so far going to plan and we will give them progress reports, as and when available. Use your charm.’
Saltoe made an exaggerated pose with her ample curves. ‘Boss. Even my charms only go so far. But I’ll put every ounce of my femininity into it.’
‘That’s a lot of ounces, Miss Saltoe. Err, I meant you have plenty of charm and femininity.’
‘When in a hole, stop digging. As usual, leave me to deal with the budgets. You just do Boss things.’
Boss nodded. ‘Thanks. What would I do without you?’
‘Have nobody to make coffee for. I’ll have the real deal with not too much milk this time.’
Chapter 312
D S I issued blue one piece, one size fits nobody underwear, still looked amazingly sexy on Jackie Cracker. At least, that was the opinion of Aristotle Frogmorten. Perhaps it was her trim waist, pert backside, or the way her nipples poked in his direction. He had been in love with Jackie for many years. He had once made the monumental mistake of telling her he loved her intelligence. To a young woman, that was pretty much like saying, “You ain’t got much, but I like the way you think.”
Back peddling from a gaff like that, had never got them to first base. He had tried complimenting her hair. He had read somewhere, that was always a good thing to do. The compliment had been met with a blank stare and the comment, “Thanks. I used a new conditioner.”
He had invited her out for meals together. Not once had she accepted. He had set up time in the university observatory for the two of them, just so he could breathe the same air as her. Eventually, he had come to realise he wasn’t her type. Ginger haired geeks were not on her wish list, or so it seemed. Jackie had been quite impressed with him that he had persuaded Boss to approve the mission, and even more amazing, had secured them places as scientific advisers for the trip. Now all he had to do, as they sorted out the museum piece picked up from deep space, was to make her like him as much as he liked her.
Cracker was the computer wizard out of the two of them. She had already hooked up her sophisticated equipment to the probes access ports.
‘There’s a lot to download here,’ Cracker said. ‘It could take twenty minutes to get it all.’
Frogmorten was checking over the exterior of the probe, touching nothing for fear of interrupting the downloading, or possibly corrupting the data. ‘Not too much damage to the surface. Not bad at all considering the many millions of miles its travelled.’
‘We’ll wait until we get it to the laboratory before taking the hardware apart. We’ll probably lose important little bits and pieces if we try to do it here on the ship.’
‘I agree,’ said Frogmorten. ‘We’ll have enough to do going through the data. Isn’t this exciting?’
‘That space-walk frightened the life out of me. I’ve had nightmares over it. I kept thinking I would be floating around in space for ever.’
‘You did great.’ Frogmorten decided to make best use of their time alone together. ‘You know when we get back, you and I should maybe….’
‘There. All done,’ said Cracker. She unhooked her equipment. ‘Come on. We need to be working on this lot.’
Frogmorten sighed. ‘I can hardly wait.’
Chapter 313
‘I thought between paper-clips and toilet paper.’
Boss sighed. ‘Miss Saltoe. If I spent the next thousand years paper-clipping sheets of toilet paper together, it wouldn’t even cover the cost of those three ships taking off. Faith. This mission was pre-ordained. Have faith. Serendipity.’
‘You never came up with that word all by yourself. Joy taught you that word,’ said Saltoe. ‘Too deep and meaningful for you.’
‘I can do deep and meaningful.’
Saltoe said, ‘If ever you do deep and meaningful, I’ll be sure to record it for posterity. This is important, Boss. We need to bury this in the upcoming budget.’
‘We need to delay them. Give the mission a chance to bear fruit.’
‘You have a poet sharing your soul,’ said Saltoe. ‘I’m not sure what’s sharing your brain. We have to be practical.’
‘Which is exactly why my Boss gave me you, bless him, to deal with all this. Me, Boss, doing Boss stuff. You…’
‘Clear up the mess you make.’
‘Exactly. What? No. Look. They’re a bunch of politicians. Including Councillor Freeman, our old Boss. Ah!’
Saltoe raised both suspicious eyebrows. ‘Ah?’
‘He will understand. Open a dialogue with Councillor Freeman. Be totally honest with him. Explain, discretely, what this is about. Get him on side. Use…everything at your disposal.’
Saltoe said, ‘Using my considerable feminine charms is not in my job description.’
‘I read your personnel file. It said, and I quote, “This woman has unlimited feminine charms. Play to her strengths”. I do know this. Councillor Freeman is a pushover for an intelligent woman with a reasoned argument. And forty-eight double D’s aren’t lost on him, either.’
‘Right,’ said Saltoe. ‘I can threaten him with my superior intellect, or to smother him with my breasts.’
Boss said, ‘Exactly. The poor man doesn’t stand a chance.’
Saltoe got up and went to the door where she fluttered her eyelashes. ‘He isn’t married or anything?’
‘Not that I’m aware of. You have access to all the records. Miss Saltoe. What is going on in that clever head of yours?’
Saltoe pouted and wiggled her voluminous hips. ‘Nothing. But if I�
�m thrusting my charms in his face…’
‘Heaven forbid.’
‘I’m just saying. I’d like to think the poor man had a reasonable chance at all this. Me.’
Boss said, ‘Words come to mind like, putty in your hands, irresistible and I can imagine him saying, “what was I waiting for…?” And of course you’d reply…’
‘Don’t push it.’
‘Really? Oh, I see.’
‘Hmm. I’m sure he used to look at me as more than just a clerical assistant before he made me your P A. And I do think he’s pretty cute.’
‘He’ll run a mile if you call him cute. Trust me. I’m a man, so I would know. Food.’
‘What?’
‘An old Earth saying. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’
‘Yuck! Messy.’
‘It means, impress him with your cooking.’
Saltoe said with a wiggle, ‘And all this isn’t enough?’
‘Add cheese, cream, strawberries and a game of trivial pursuits, he’d be yours for the taking.’
‘He is good looking.’
‘What can I say? It goes with the job as Boss.’
‘Yeah. You keep telling yourself that. Excuse me. I have a budget to hide.’
After checking the records on Councillor Freeman, Saltoe decided to call him from her office. He was on Transporter One, his Councillor’s personal ship. He looked a little greyer, she thought, but as ruggedly handsome as ever. ‘So. Councillor. How’s it going?’
‘Miss Saltoe. Always a pleasure to talk with you.’
‘I would just like your input with the latest budget report.’
Councillor Boss Chuckled. ‘What’s Raven been up to, Miss Saltoe?’
‘Not a lot, really. But we do have a bit of a mission going on. Some old probe from Earth’s old past, apparently. It seemed a good idea at the time to go get it.’
‘And is it a good idea?’
Saltoe didn’t intend to commit herself to that, one way or the other. ‘I just do the office work.’
Councillor Freeman said, ‘I haven’t time to play games. Raven couldn’t function without you. A very good double act. What are you doing two nights away, should I be heading your way?’
‘I thought you were on your way from Mars to Varlindra for the annual conference.’
‘I am. All rather tedious, to be honest. We pass quite close to Home on route. Just a few million miles or so. I’d appreciate some stimulating female company for a change.’
Saltoe could think of several ways to stimulate him. ‘I could meet you halfway. You and I together, going over the budget.’
The Councillor leaned forward, his voice low, and she was sure he was admiring her ample charms on his screen. ‘We might have to get really deep and involved with this. Explore all the ins and outs.’
Saltoe had to stifle a girlie giggle at the innuendo. ‘And I can arrange a ship to get to you?’
‘Miss Saltoe. Talk to Commander Gordon. Any problems, put him through to me. Come join me and talk fiscal budgetary control.’
She marvelled at how “dirty” he made that sound. ‘Ok. I’ll tell Boss Raven to get ready.’
‘Err, no. Would he be any use when it comes to budgets?’
Saltoe said, ‘Not his strong point. Just you and I?’
‘And our pilots. We can ignore them.’
‘Then I’m all yours.’
‘I sincerely hope so, Miss Saltoe.’
Chapter 314
They wore the input goggles and the sounds and images collected by the probe played over and over.
‘Singularly uninteresting so far,’ said Frogmorten. He was just happy enough to be stretched out on a recliner seat next to Jackie Cracker; listening to hours of space static, more interested in the occasional casual touching of hands.
‘You never had much patience, Aristotle. Always a little too…impetuous, I thought.’
Frogmorten rolled over and removed his goggles. And here she was. The object of his desire. Beyond gorgeous, Jackie was …All that he needed her to be. Just happy to be close to her, he wondered for the millionth time if she found him at all interesting. They worked on the probe’s recordings and little made sense.
Then, ‘I think I have something,’ said Cracker. ‘None of it good.’
Chapter 315
Commander Gordon said, ‘The trouble with Bosses and Councillors, especially a Councillor who used to be Boss, is that they think they can just snap their fingers and have ships flying all over the galaxy at a moments notice. It isn’t as simple as that, Miss Saltoe.’
‘Councillor Freeman insisted I join him on his ship to go over the budget figures before he went to the conference.’
Gordon grinned. ‘Not just the budget figures, I’m thinking.’
‘And just what is that supposed to mean?’
Gordon said, ‘He was always a very private individual. But I do know he had an eye for, dare I say, women with the fuller figure.’
Saltoe kept her face straight and said, ‘This is simply business. Now. Are you fixing me up with a ship or do I have to call Councillor Freeman?’
‘There’s a freighter about to head off to Tryzon. They’ll bitch and moan like hell, but I’ll have them do a detour to rendezvous with Transporter One. They won’t be able to get you back here, though.’
That was music to Saltoe’s ears. She would have to stay on Transporter One with Freeman. ‘Well, that will have to do, Commander. I’ll take it.’
‘Then be ready to go in three hours. I’ll make the arrangements.’
‘Thank you. I’ll go tell Boss.’
Gordon said, ‘He doesn’t know?’
‘Not yet.’
Back in Boss’s office, Raven said, ‘You’re doing what?’
‘You said to talk the budget over with Councillor Freeman.’
‘I didn’t mean to go flying off into space to do it.’
Saltoe said, ‘It was his idea.’
‘And when do you expect to be back here?’
Saltoe smiled. ‘That all depends on what progress we make.’
‘Yes. But what about the budget?’
‘I was referring to the budget,’ said Saltoe, innocently. ‘I have to go and pack.’
Raven got up and went to the old oak cabinet in the corner of his office, from which he took out an unopened bottle of very rare bourbon. ‘Then pack this, too. His favourite.’
‘That’s very kind of you, Boss.’
‘I know. Off you go, and good luck.’
Clutching the bottle to her bosom, Saltoe said, ‘Don’t need luck. Just my sparkling personality. See you when I get back.’
‘Missing you already.’
* * *
‘Frogmorten. I’ve just had a call from Boss,’ said General Millet. ‘Very keen to know what progress we’re making. He has to justify this little junket.’
‘Err. Sir. We have successfully got all the information out of the probe. It could take weeks or even months to find out anything about those alien races.’
‘How about hours, Frogmorten. Boss’s P A is already on her way to join Councillor Freeman to go over the budget figures. And he is on his way to Varlindra for a very important conference of which the D S I expenditure will be coming under scrutiny. If we don’t have anything of substance pretty damn soon, we will all be in the dog house.’
Frogmorten said, ‘Sir. We’re going as fast as we can with it. I can’t promise when we’ll hit anything useful.’
Jackie Cracker said, ‘The two of us will work in shifts around the clock, Sir. That’s the best we can do.’
‘Ok. The minute you have something, I want to know, right? Day or night.’
‘Of course, Sir.’
‘Carry on.’
When Millet signed off, Shorty called him one on one from Luppino’s ship. ‘Frank. Don’t be so hard on those kids. They’re doing the best they can.’
‘Shorty. That conference is in just over three days tim
e. Councillor Freeman has worked wonders increasing D S I funding. They’d be delighted to have an excuse to have a go at him and they would see this as a waste of money. We need to give our Councillor ammunition to fight back with.’
Shorty said, ‘Ok. But those kids will do better without extra pressure.’
Millet sighed. ‘Yes, you’re right, naturally. I’ll pull my head in.’
‘Good. Are you missing me?’
‘Like crazy. Still. Just a few days.’
‘Yeah. Take care.’
Chapter 316
Captain Florence Goodwind wasn’t too pleased with Miss Saltoe. Her load of new ski-lift equipment for the snowy ranges of Tryzon, was well overdue and she had already had heated exchanges with the customer, even though the delay was not of her making. Sensing the hostility, Saltoe kept a low profile away from Goodwind and her crew of two, staying in a spare bunk room for much of the two day trip to meet up with Transporter One. She didn’t mind. It gave her the chance to try on the fifteen outfits she’d packed in a hurry. She was particularly pleased with the “little black number” she had only worn once before.
‘So, Councillor Freeman. You like curves, do you? Well, I’ve plenty of curves. Some of them even in the right place.’
The small mirror fixed to the inside of the locker door, was hardly adequate to check out her appearance with, but what she could see pleased her. Her backside only looked huge and not enormous, but she did wonder if she was showing too much cleavage. She did want to make eye contact with Councillor Freeman at least some of the time.
‘Oh, well. At least my boobies will take the attention away from my bottom.’
She was about to take the dress off, when there came a knocking at the door. ‘Come in.’
The door slid open and the young copilot entered. She was petite and blonde, her hair a golden cascade down her back.
‘Wow,’ said the girl. ‘You look amazing. That’s a great dress. You don’t see that style these days.’
