“We’re going to get through this,” he promised, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip.
“They know about Stella now. If anything happens to her, I might as well die too.”
“I swear to you,” he said, his voice rough, “I won’t rest until everyone has paid for the pain they’ve caused.”
Tightening my hands in his shirt, I pulled him against me and kissed him hard. He immediately responded, his fingers sliding into my hair, his lips just as hungry. But I needed more. Trailing my fingers down his chest, I brushed a hand over his already hardening erection.
However, the minute I cupped him, he pulled away, tilting my head up to stare into his black eyes. “What are you doing?”
I wanted to give him a seductive answer, but fear clawed its way out of me. “I don’t know,” I cried, my weight collapsing under his hold. “But I need to feel something other than this hole in my heart. Everything good inside me is dripping out, and I don’t know how to stop it. I lost you, and now, I feel like I’m losing her. I can’t see her or talk to her. Everything’s slipping away, and I’m numb. I’ve lost my soul, Matty.”
“Don’t ever say that.”
“It’s true. I feel like I’m walking on the fringe of a nightmare. I need you to fix me.”
The eyes that had just held so much compassion suddenly chilled. Releasing me, he turned away. “I’ve told you I’m the monster in your nightmares, not the hero who saves you from them.”
I grabbed his arm, turning him back around. I stepped off the ledge. I leaped, and I’d be damned if he wouldn’t be there to show me the way. “If you won’t walk with me into the light, then drag me into the dark.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re asking.”
“You’re my only connection to her!” I yelled. “Goddamn it, don’t you get it? I don’t want flowers and rainbows, Mateo. I want punishment. I want your anger.” Swinging my arm, I landed a fist right in the middle of his chest. “I need to feel something.” Pulling my arm back, I swung again. “I need to know you give a shit!”
The growl that tore from Mateo’s throat was nothing less than savage. I’d pushed him too far and I knew it. Grabbing me by the waist, he shoved me against the Tahoe. Pulling my wrists above my head, he held them tightly in one hand. I had no idea what was about to happen. I’d provoked a dark side of him that dragged me into unchartered waters and drowned me by the second.
Jerking up the hem of my flared dress, he bunched it around my waist and held it in place with his hips. His eyes never leaving mine, he wrapped his fingers around the thin string of my panties and ripped them off, the material disintegrating in his hand.
“Is this what you want?” he demanded, throwing the tattered lace on the pavement, his teeth grazing along my jawline. “Do you want everyone to see me fucking you?”
I gasped as he spread my legs, thrusting a thick finger inside me. “Yes.”
“You’re wet, Leighton. Does fucking a criminal get you off?”
“Mateo...”
Thrusting another finger inside, he lowered his mouth to my neck. “Answer me!”
“Yes! God, yes!”
The more he pumped, the more I panted. It was just past dusk, and I was half naked on a public street, but I didn’t care. I needed him to make it hurt, and I was so close.
Then he stopped.
Removing his hand, his smirk darkened. “You think I’m going to stand here and finger fuck you, so you can come on my hand? No, little lamb.” Reaching for the button on his jeans, he ripped it open and shoved them down his thighs while pushing me to my knees. “Suck.”
Any other time, I would’ve been offended, but I was drunk on his dominance. He was already so hard that pre-cum dribbled down the bottom of his shaft, so I licked its trail from base to tip. Mateo let out a howl, prompting me to open wide and take him all the way in until he hit the back of my throat. I tried for a cohesive rhythm, but he was too far gone. Gripping the back of my hair, he pumped his hips, fucking my mouth with wild abandon.
Cursing in Spanish, he threw his head back and sucked air in between gritted teeth. I braced myself for his explosion when he pulled back and hauled me to my feet. Before I knew it, my back was against the Tahoe again and my feet were off the ground. Instinctively, my legs wrapped around his waist just as his fingers dug into my ass cheeks. Tilting my hips, he drove his full length into me without mercy.
As ready as I was for him, it was too much too fast and I screamed. My pain only spurred him on, causing him to pull back and plunge in even harder.
“Did Luis fuck you like this?” he growled, slamming his hips into me.
I couldn’t breathe. “No!”
“Did he make you come like this?” On the next thrust, he ground his pelvis against mine, setting me off.
My muscles convulsed, and I came all around him. “God, no.”
“Who does this pussy belong to?” Mateo demanded, punctuating every word with a sharp thrust.
He’s trying to kill me.
“You,” I gasped. “Only you.”
“Damn right, it does.” Shouting in Spanish again, he bottomed out before grabbing my face in his hand. “Did you let him come inside you?”
I shook my head. “Never.”
“Fuck!” My admission set him off. His cock jerked, and he let out a low groan as he came.
When the insanity cleared, he lowered my feet to the ground, but I didn’t dare move. I wasn’t sure how to react, or more so, how he’d react.
I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Full lips parted mine, devastating me with a kiss so powerful it weakened me. After sharing in an act so dirty, he kissed my lips with reverence.
Stroking a hand down my cheek, Mateo gazed at me with renewed fierceness. “No man will ever touch you again. You’re my wife, mi amor. I’ll protect you, and I’ll die for you.”
My smile faded.
He’d said the same words four years ago after taking my virginity. He’d promised that I was his, and no man would ever touch me again. But a man did in the vilest way possible, followed by a parade of others whose only goal was to destroy me.
Now, every last one of them would pay for their sins.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Leighton
Mateo opened the door to our room, and I walked in, overwhelmed by its extravagance. The room was beautiful. Val obviously spared no expense when booking the Presidential Suite at the Houstonian. Luxurious and extravagant, it was the perfect place to spend the perfect wedding night.
I never heard him move, but I felt his presence behind me even before his warm breath fanned across my neck. “What’s wrong?”
I considered saying nothing, but knowing me as well as he did, he’d take it as an insult. Hugging my arms across my chest, I stared at the fireplace, mesmerized by the orange flames already flickering in it.
“My grandparents are the reason I survived.” Just saying their names out loud drove a knife in my heart. “They were the only ones who believed me when I told them about Finn. They put me through school. They supported me and helped me raise Stella on my own. I owe them everything.”
At the mention of her name, he let out a tortured breath. “So do I.”
I recognized the pain in his voice, and I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn’t. “They don’t deserve this, Mateo. Before I left San Marcos, I could see disappointment in their faces. It almost killed me.”
“I’m sure they understood and were just worried, mi amor,” Mateo soothed, his hand finding its way to my shoulder.
But I didn’t deserve his comfort, so I stepped away.
“Stella didn’t understand. She wouldn’t let me go. She wrapped her little hands around me and cried, begging me not to leave her. ‘No, Mommy, no.’ That’s what she kept screaming as my grandmother pried her off me.” I shook, the warmth from the fire feeling like ice. “That’s all I heard the whole three-hour drive to Houston. I still hear it in my dreams.”
Unde
terred, Mateo pressed his forehead against the top of my head. “I know. I’ve heard you cry in your sleep.”
His admission cut me deep. So deep that I turned around and faced him for my most shameful confession. “My grandfather followed me out to my car and gave me five hundred dollars,” I said, the words tasting sour. “They’d spent their whole retirement on me. I knew it was all they had, but he made me take it because he didn’t want me crawling back to my mother. They never liked her, you know—always thought she considered my dad to be beneath her. Maybe they were right.”
I waited for his shock. Even a hardened criminal had to have standards. However, it never came. The only thing I found in his eyes was pity. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
“Leighton, there’s something you should know—”
“No, I don’t want to know anything else, Matty!” I yelled, backing closer toward the fire. “No more surprises. I can’t handle it. Nobody’s who or what they seem, and now...now my whole life has been a lie.”
Mateo calmly watched me break down. “Do you remember the last promise I made to you?”
I nodded. “You said you’d never let anyone hurt me.”
“I meant it.” Mateo’s eyes were always intense, but something in the way they flickered with a complete lack of remorse drove me to voice the question that’d been spinning in the back of my mind for days.
“Did you kill my stepfather?”
He answered without hesitation. “Yes, and I won’t apologize, Leighton. I’d do it again if—”
“Good.” My simple response, spoken with such cold detachment, didn’t faze him. In fact, it seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders.
Neither of us spoke of it again. We didn’t need to. On some level, I knew from the moment I heard Finn was missing, Mateo had killed him. Maybe a part of me even prayed for it to be true. Mateo was a smart man, and maybe I’d indirectly planted the seed that set it all in motion. That should’ve frightened me, but it frightened me more that it didn’t.
An hour later, I stared into the fire when Mateo sat down beside me and handed me a glass of strong brown liquid.
I sniffed it. “I don’t like whiskey.”
“Good, you’re not supposed to. Drink it anyway.”
I took a small sip and coughed. It tasted like leather and turpentine and burned like fire.
“I got a call from Brody.” Watching the fire, Mateo tossed back half the glass like water. “After visiting with the current governor, Val got the charges dropped. It seems the evidence containing my fingerprints was conveniently lost.”
I took another sip. “Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that.”
“You’d think that could’ve happened before all that death do us part stuff.”
“Are you regretting it?”
Lifting the glass, I watched the fire dance through the liquid. “No, but you should. People are dropping like flies around me.”
I meant it to be a joke, but he didn’t laugh. Actually, I didn’t either. Maybe it wasn’t a joke. Maybe he should reconsider. After all, husbands in my family didn’t have the longest life span.
We sat in silence again and eventually, Mateo set his glass aside and stood, offering me his hand. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a shower.”
Just like that, the conversation was over.
Mateo insisted on washing my hair and kissing every bruise he’d inflicted on my body outside the Tahoe. He took me gently in the shower and then again wrapped in his arms on the biggest bed I’d ever seen.
Sleep came late, but just before I drifted off, his raspy whisper blew across the back of my neck. “Te amo, Star.” I love you, Star.
I closed my eyes.
It was the first time I’d heard those words in four years.
* * *
Mateo yawned and stepped out of the bedroom. “She’s at it again?”
Dragging my eyes back toward the screen, I nodded and waited for her to take the podium. Jackie had already given her dutiful intro, looking like she hadn’t slept in days.
Unlike my mother’s campaign manager, Mateo and I had slept in much later than we’d intended. We awoke to a call from the front desk informing us that a nice young lady had dropped off my car and a few wedding presents we’d forgotten. He also said she’d left her phone number if I’d like to call her. Of course, the lady had been Eden, and the wedding presents, thankfully, were a fresh change of clothes and toiletries.
Also included was a note to turn on the television because the circus was in town.
Right on cue, my mother walked up to the podium dressed to the nines in a smart maroon pantsuit and matching lipstick. The banner scrolling across the screen had me rolling my eyes.
Mayor’s estranged daughter forced to marry into killer cartel.
“As you all know from the press conference yesterday, my daughter is deeply troubled. The Carrera Cartel has bought their way out of a murder charge once again, and this time they’ve infiltrated my own family, convincing my child their evil is justified. If this kind of brainwashing could happen to my family, it could happen to anyone.” Pausing for dramatic effect, she broke down in tears and waved her hand for a bodyguard to escort her off the podium.
“She’s laying it on kind of thick, isn’t she?” Mateo asked beside me.
I shrugged. “Press porn is her specialty.”
Having had enough, I pressed a button on the remote and darkened the screen. Glancing at Mateo, I watched him flip his cell phone over and over in his palm.
“Did she ever visit you in San Marcos?” he asked.
“No. I said all I had to say when I walked out. Why?”
He stared at his phone like he wished it wasn’t there. When he finally looked up at me, I saw regret in his eyes.
“Mateo, you’re scaring me.”
“I have something to show you. I should’ve shown you days ago, but I wanted to spare you. I thought maybe it was just Emilio being an asshole, but after what he said, and especially after what she did to a Muñoz informant...” His voice trailed off.
“Who?”
Setting the phone on the coffee table, he tapped a button on the screen. Sounds no daughter should ever hear from her own mother filled the room, followed by a visual I’d never forget. I wanted to look away. The scene unfolding before my eyes was depraved. It was nauseating and vile, but I couldn’t stop watching.
When it was over, Mateo tucked his phone back in his hand. I didn’t know if he had any answers, but I asked anyway.
“Where did you get this?”
“Hector’s apartment. Someone wanted this bad enough to kill him for it.”
“And you found it?
“Yes. It was encrypted, but let’s just say I know a certain IT professor who’s good at his job.”
I wanted to ask for more information, but my mind swam with more important questions. “Why would Emilio have a sex tape with my mother, and why would Hector have it?”
“The answer to both? Insurance.” Shifting toward me, he took my hand. “Think back, Leighton. What do you remember about the night Luis died?”
I was confused. “What does that have to do with my mother?”
“Just humor me.”
As if on autopilot, I recounted everything from the moment Alex accosted me in the quad until I showed up on Brody’s doorstep, surprised at how calm I sounded.
Mateo’s eyes narrowed. “He said, ‘get rid of her’ and not, ‘kill her’?”
“Yes, I’m positive.” I nodded. “Everything’s a blur after that though. Brody told me to run, and that’s what I did. Next thing I knew, the DEA showed up.”
“When did Brody tell your mother about Stella?” The caution in his voice worried me.
“I’m not sure. Why?”
“Luis started acting strange out of the blue, right?”
“Yes,” I said, dread gripping my chest. “What are you getting at?”
“Leighton, Emilio said Brody put a
target on Stella’s back when he opened his mouth.” Frustrated, he scraped his hands down his face. “I think he was implying she was the target instead of you.”
My breath came quick and shallow. “My brother wouldn’t hurt his niece.”
He squeezed his phone, unable to meet my eyes. “I agree.”
Those two words hung in the air like a grenade. Mateo was lost in his own thoughts, but then again, so was I. Horrible, unspeakable thoughts that ripped my soul apart.
Someone wanted to hurt my baby.
My mother. My mother and Emilio. Alex. Alex and my father. Emilio. Emilio and my father. Finn. Finn and Alex. Everyone’s name swirled in my head like a diabolical game of spin the bottle.
My head pounded, nothing making any sense until one damning line broke through the noise.
“Oh, please, Leighton. I know what you’ve done. I’m the mayor. I have access to all police reports.”
I was about to excuse myself to be sick when Mateo closed his eyes and leaned back. “I think we should shower then head over to the townhouse and talk to Val.”
“You go ahead. I don’t feel well. I’m going to stay here and try to sleep it off.”
Kissing the top of my head, he headed toward the main suite. “Okay, get some rest.”
Once I heard the water run, I dug into the bag Eden sent over and finding my phone, I dialed the number on the piece of paper the concierge had given me earlier. She answered almost immediately.
“Leighton, I’m so glad you called—”
“Yeah, me too,” I said, cutting her off. “Listen, did you mean all that stuff you said about being there if I needed a friend?”
“Of course.”
“I need a friend. Preferably one who can be quiet.”
Her pleasant tone shifted. “Whatever you’re doing, I advise against it.”
“I’m doing this with or without you, Eden. With you, I might make it out alive.”
After a long pause, she sighed. “What do you need?”
Thank God.
“Mateo spoke of an IT professor who decrypted something for him. He said he’s the best. I assume he’s on the cartel payroll? You know who he is, don’t you?” It wasn’t a question. She was Val’s wife. She knew.
Carrera Cartel: The Collection Page 55
