by Debbie Behan
Is it the boys? Is he jealous? Does he want to get back at me for mucking around with them last night? Or is his love all just a con to have me join his team? Her mind went round and round until it felt like it was going to explode.
She finally realised where she was and stumbled around in the brush before finding the lake. She couldn’t get rid of the thought of another woman wrapped in her man’s arms. As she thought it, a stab of pain folded her over and she screamed with the severity of it. She rolled up in a ball, trying to stop the pains that gripped her stomach. She felt delirious and was burning up with a fever. She rolled around with beads of sweat pouring off her face.
She had just been bitten by something and she realised that it must have been poisonous due to her reaction. She tried to get up a few times but kept passing out, the pain getting worse, until she felt a little nudge and opened her eyes to Starburst.
‘Go get help!’ she told him, rolling over and groaning. He must have felt she was upset to have come so far to find her.
Coherent at last, she was glad when she woke and had been found. Kayden was in the chair next to her and she looked away, still angry with him. The nurse came in, confirming what she had already figured out, that a poisonous spider or snake had bitten her. She still had drips in her arm and complained about it while the nurse removed the thermometer from her mouth.
As Cassie expected, the nurse only took the thermometer from her before leaving. Now they were on their own again, Cassie shook even more, knowing she had to deal with what had happened.
Kayden looked irritably at her, stopping her fear and turning it to anger.
‘Why are you here, Kayden? Shouldn’t you be with your new girlfriend?’ she snarled.
She could feel him suck in his breath and she waited for what seemed like ages before he let it out. ‘I can’t believe you would think I would do that to you, Cassie. Obviously, our relationship isn’t that strong after all. I’ve just come to let you know that I give up. You win. I am sick of you running every time something goes wrong. I’m sorry that silly little tart came and cuddled up to me but maybe you might try to understand a little of what I go through every time you kiss or hug one of the guys. It always has to be all about you or nothing. From now on, I’m your boss and that is it. The boys are happy for you to stay with them. If you wish to stay on as a member of the team, you’re welcome to but I don’t want you to come home.’
She glared at him with hatred. ‘Good! You’re just as painful. I’m sick of having to try to make you and your damned buddies happy. I’ll not be staying, so don’t flatter yourself that you’re worth waiting around for. Get out and don’t let the door hit you on your way out, you dirty rotten two timer!’ she added furiously.
After they released her from hospital the next day, she had no idea what she was going to do or what the day would bring. Woody stood waiting for her as she came out the front entrance. He took her arm and as much as she wished she could tell him where to go, she didn’t know where she was and needed him to drop her off somewhere that would lead her anywhere but back to Kayden’s.
‘Just drop me off on the highway, Woody. I’ll hike back to Perth and try to pick up where I left off. I was a fool to come back here and think that someone would …’ she ran out of bother. She was so over people not loving her the way she did them. She just wanted to give up.
‘Cassie, I have told you before, to find happiness you have to stop running. To stay is to fight for what you believe in. Stop being afraid and look your fears in the face. Stay the course. You know Kayden wouldn’t have done that to you and he’s not just angry with you at the moment. He is angry with us all but he’ll work through it. Come home with me, with us, where you belong. We are your family now and we want you with us.’
Tears streamed down her face. ‘Family! How can you say I’m family when I keep hurting everyone?’
‘Because we understand. We boys adore you!’
‘I’m just finding it hard because all I can see is her in his arms and it makes me want to just run and run and run until I’m too tired to see the damned image!’
‘Then we’ll do it together, around the property and out along the main road, everyday. You’re not alone anymore, Cass. We’ll be your rock until you become one. How about it? Tell me what you have to lose. The road to Perth is just outside our front gate and if at any time you really don’t want to be with us anymore, I’ll take you myself.’
Months to Heal
It had been four months since she’d moved in with the boys. Woody had been right. They were her world now and she loved being the centre of theirs. At last she had found the family that she always wanted. Kayden had stopped moping around and over the past few weeks had began to join them again, his personality surprising them all. He was jovial, funny and a joy to have around. Cassie didn’t love him anymore, he was just a boss and that suited her fine. Woody had become her friend and love, she adored the ground he walked on. He had seen her through so much and his friendship was beyond anything she had ever had. She could sit for hours and listen to him and most days they would just talk until dawn.
They had kissed a few times but she had not been able to go much further than that and she knew it worried him. She just needed a bit more time and he seemed to understand. Once they were in the kitchen and Kayden had walked in on him kissing her but he had just walked out again, not saying anything or showing any reaction. She knew he was over her too.
They continued to have wild parties and the house was always full of chicks and booze. It was an exciting time for Cassie. She was young and it was fun to cut loose, especially after the exhilaration of their missions. Her father was still causing trouble and Woody was always there for her if she saw him at a distance and it upset her.
Woody hardly talked about Ella anymore except when she rang him. Then he would be straight out to tell Cassie all about it. They were pretty well inseparable.
The morning after one of their wild parties, Kayden sent Woody and Jason on a reconnaissance mission. The mess from the party they had the night before was left for Ethan, Conor and Cassie to clean up. Well, that really just left Cassie; the other two were still entertaining two of the girls from the party in their rooms. She decided it was probably her turn to clean up anyway. Rolling up her sleeves, she went around the backyard, picking up empty bottles, cigarette butts and food scraps left over from a food fight.
Kayden came over and asked where Ethan and Conor were. After telling him they were busy with some chicks, she told him he could go up and see them if he wanted. He said he did not feel right disturbing them and had only come around to see if they wanted to go to the races with him. Seeing they were busy, he asked if she wanted to take off for a couple of hours to fill in the day instead.
They had been talking nicely again now, so she guessed it would be okay. After all, he was just her boss now.
There were horse races at Wittenoom and even though she was his second choice, she was glad to do something other than clean up on her own. They laid bets on the horses while Cassie sipped on cold glasses of champagne. It was a nice day and on the way home he asked her many questions about Woody and made her laugh a lot about stories of old. ‘Now you’re sleeping with Woody you would know that anyway,’ he said at one stage.
It came out of left field and she stared at him for a moment. ‘Woody’s not like that. We aren’t … I haven’t …’ She turned and stared out the window, not knowing what to actually say.
‘Sorry if you thought I was prying. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just assumed you two were an item that was all,’ he said, sounding innocent enough.
Cassie turned to him and grinned. ‘That’s alright, I overreacted. It’s complicated,’ she said and just changed the subject.
After he took her home, he stayed and helped her finish cleaning up. The boys surfaced every now and then to see if Cassie was alright and then went back to their rooms. They had a swim after they finished cleaning and then
opened a bottle of wine, sipping it in the warm spa. The bubbles and the wine relaxed her after what seemed like a long day.
‘You know I never touched that girl, don’t you?’ he asked, trying to smooth over their past.
‘Yes, I believe you now because you have no reason to lie anymore. Maybe even then.’ She was being honest because he was.
‘Then why did you leave?’ he asked. ‘I know it’s all in the past but I just needed to ask.’
‘It took a long time for Woody to help me work through that. At the time I just kept seeing her in your arms and couldn’t get past it. I guess we both had issues. Sometimes two people are just not meant to be.’ She lay back.
‘You must really love Woody. He’s been a good friend to you and you’ve never run from him,’ he said quietly.
‘I do love him dearly. He’s my best friend in the whole world and if I ever get the urge to run, he has brainwashed me to come get him. He runs with me until I have nothing left. I’ve never had so much devotion,’ she said.
‘Then what’s stopped you from committing yourself to him?’
She sat up angrily. ‘It’s really none of your business, Kayden. I shouldn’t have said anything. I have my reasons, just leave it at that!’
He moved towards her with a look in his eyes that she had not seen for many months and she backed away.
‘Don’t you dare!’ She flashed an angry look at him but he ignored her and slipped his arms around her. His lips came down hard against hers. He didn’t let her go until she stopped struggling. It was her body that finally gave her away, melting into him as her arms wrapped around his neck. He’d stirred up something she had buried deep inside. He pulled away, leaving her breathless. He watched her as she tried to pull herself together.
‘You’re still in love with me, Cassie. You can’t lie to me.’
She tried to get out of his grip. ‘No! No, I don’t, I love Woody now.’
His mouth came back down on hers, kissing her so gently and lovingly that it nearly broke her heart. Tears streamed down her face.
‘What are you doing to me?’ she cried when he let her go. ‘You will only hurt me again! You threw me away. Woody has stuck the pieces back together and now I have to be his. I can’t be disloyal to such love.’
‘Cassie, you don’t have to tell me how much I hurt you. I’ve lived with it every day and every night for months. I really thought you would be better off without me. I honestly wanted you to find happiness but I am still terribly and unconditionally in love with you too. I can’t be the good guy any more. I’m the evil boy come to steal you back any way I can and I don’t care if Woody beats the shit out of me—or you tell me to go—I’m here to get my woman back if she’ll have me. I don’t want you back just as my lover, Cassie. I want to marry you and be with you always. Will you marry me, Cassie? Now, today? We’ll drive somewhere and find a priest. Please make me the happiest man in the world and say yes.’
She put her head in her hands and sighed. ‘I thought you didn’t love me, Kayden. I’ve led Woody to believe he and I have a chance by letting him kiss me. I’m so confused.’
He came back over to her. Just his touch sent electrifying sensations through her. ‘We love each other, Cassie. We always have and always will. I’m going to go and let you work out how you want this to go down. But I‘ll not take no for an answer! I’m not letting go this time and if you’re unable to tell Woody then I will. It’s better he gets hurt now rather than later when he’s taken you to his bed. You have nothing to give him because you know you will always keep yourself only for me.’
He kissed her again. Her heart just about thumped out of her chest and her body wrapped around him, feeling every curve that she had missed so terribly. She groaned.
‘I love you. Come home, baby,’ he whispered. He let her go and got out of the spa.
It was late when Woody and Jason arrived back. Cassie was still up, tortured by what had happened. She tried to act normal but what was normal? She was falling apart with guilt and old feelings. Jason took his leave and Woody came over to where she sat and put his arm around her. ‘What’s up, Cass, did you miss me?’ he joked, trying to break down the barrier he felt around her.
She looked affectionately at her best friend and wondered how she could ever break his heart and live afterwards. ‘Kayden came over today.’
‘He’d better not have upset you! No wonder the bastard was in such a good mood. What did he say?’ he asked angrily.
‘He came to get the boys to go to the horse races but they were busy with their girls so I went.’
‘You what?’ He stood up, angry. ‘He hates the horse races. I knew there had to be a reason why he started to sleaze back over here. He wants you back, doesn’t he?’ He paced.
‘I told him I loved you and was committed to our relationship but …’
He grabbed her by the shoulders and taking one look into her eyes, he knew. ‘He bloody kissed you, that sneaky son of a bitch!’ He was pacing again. ‘I’m going over there to knock some sense into him. He sent us off so he could be alone with you. That lying, cheating mongrel!’
Jason came out. ‘What’s going on, mate? What’s all the yelling about?’
Woody was furious. ‘We put her back together and she just gets happy again and his frigging highness comes over and tries to steal her back. Bloody kissed her as well! Of all the dirty tricks, he sent us off so he could spend the day with her.’
Jason shook his head. ‘You knew it would happen, Woody. We all tried to tell you a love like theirs would find its way back. I guessed it tonight when I saw that sparkle back in her eyes that has been missing for months.’
‘Thanks for the bloody support, mate!’ Woody growled angrily. He went over and swinging Cassie up in his arms carried her inside and up the stairs to his room.
‘Don’t do anything you’ll regret, Woody!’ Jason warned. ‘Let it go, for all our sakes.’
Woody laid her gently on the bed and lay beside her as they had done many times before. He looked at her for a long time and then rolled away, lying on his back and putting his arm over his eyes. She cuddled up to him, feeling his pain, while tears ran down her face for the hurt he was feeling. He felt her quiver with silent sobs and he cuddled her until she stopped.
‘I love you both,’ Cassie sobbed. ‘I’m sorry. He tricked me. I thought I’d buried all those feelings. You’re my most favourite person in the whole world and I can’t bear the thought of never talking to you again. Your friendship is so deeply set inside me. You’re the voice in my head and I can’t believe this is happening to you—to us.’
He kissed her gently as he had done so many times but he became more urgent and she let him, hoping he could change her mind. But as he started to take off her clothes, she froze. He flung himself back on the bed.
‘I’m sorry, try again. I’ll control it. Make me love you instead,’ Cassie begged him. She kissed him again but he went cold.
‘Your love for him is deep in your soul. You can only give me some of your heart and it’s not enough for me. I have to move on and find someone who loves me. The only way that is ever going to happen is to make a clean break.’
‘But I do love you. Please don’t take your love away from me. I’ll never see him again, I promise. Stay with me, Woody. I choose you,’ she sobbed as she begged him.
‘You’re breaking my heart, princess. But I’m not the one you want and I can’t see how I can ever get over you if I try to stay your friend while watching you with him. It doesn’t work that way and you know it.’
She leaned on her elbow, watching him. ‘Can’t we still be the same? What has to change? I’ve always kissed and cuddled you from the first day I met you. I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I thought you were so handsome, you blew me away. We’ve bonded like no other friends could; our friendship is strong enough to last many lifetimes. I’m willing to give up Kayden for that friendship. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I�
�ll still see you every day and we can still have our alone time together. Please don’t run from me. You told me not to run and I stayed for you. Can we not work through this together? Let’s spend a couple of days on our own, just to talk.’
He pulled her into him. ‘I can’t think straight,’ he said. ‘Just let me hold you and sleep for a few hours and I’ll see how I feel when I wake up.’
She cuddled into him, not ever wanting to let him go and cried herself silently to sleep. ‘I love you,’ she whispered to him but he never spoke for the rest of the night.
In the morning they were still in each other’s arms and when she looked at him, he smiled at her. ‘I’ve been watching you sleep,’ he said, running his hand caringly over her face. ‘We are two of a kind, you know and it only just dawned on me. Cass, it’s not just you holding back. There’s someone I too have been holding onto and if I’ve learnt anything from you it is that true love never dies. I think it is time we both sat up and took a good look around us. We’ve both needed each other so much that we built ourselves a fortress and hid inside. Somehow we forgot the fact that there was a world out there and that we were really just a brother and sister leaning on each other until we found our wings.’ He sat up. ‘It’s time we let each other spread those wings and find true love. I was watching you before you woke, trying to imagine the love you had with Kayden and my mind went straight to Ella. She never gave up on me but I’ve hidden under the protection of your umbrella, maybe just like you and Kayden. I never gave her time to adjust and learn. I never trusted her. But you know, I think it’s time we trusted someone other than ourselves. I was wrong, Cassie. We will always be together. I want to share with you the lows and highs in my life like I always have and hope you’ll still do the same.’
She smiled and cried at the same time at his happy revelation. He wasn’t going to leave her. We will always be just how we have always been, best friends.
When they went downstairs, Jason could see they had worked it out. Woody told him he was taking her home and then he was going to visit a friend. He added that they shouldn’t expect him until the following day.
