“You might try Mr. Blakely. He does trades and loans all the time on a variety of goods,” one of the store clerks reminded her. “I’ll bet you could get a good deal on a used compass.”
She nodded. It was a good idea. She made her way to Mr. Blakely’s secondhand store. The sign out front stated, I will buy your quality pieces.
Making her way into the store, Gloriana marveled at all the things that lined the shelves and aisles. It seemed there was nothing a person wouldn’t part with for extra cash.
“Hello, Gloriana. I never thought to see you in here. Have you come to sell me something?”
“No. I came to see if you might have a nice compass I could purchase for a gift. The brand-new ones are a little expensive.”
The balding man nodded. “That they are. I believe you might find just what you need in this case at the end.” He led the way and reached down to pull out a tray. “This is one of the best. It’s made by a quality company in London.”
“That’s a ship’s compass,” she said as he handed her the open wooden box. “I only meant to get a small pocket compass.”
“This would make a nice accessory for a man’s office or library. If I might be so bold, I presume you want this gift for Lucas Carson.”
She flushed. What must the town be saying? “It is very nice, but I doubt I could afford it.”
“I knew your father very well,” Mr. Blakely said with a kind smile. “I owed him so much. He gave me the money to start my business. Did you know that?”
She shook her head. “I knew Papa was much loved, but no.”
“After the crash your father was so good to those of us who remained. Your mother too. They did wonderful little things for everyone.” His eyes dampened with tears. “I was devastated to hear I’d lost my dear friend.”
“Oh, Mr. Blakely, I’m so sorry.” Gloriana reached out to touch his hand. “I had no idea. I’m afraid we’ve been a bit lost in our own sorrow.”
“Of course you have, and well you should be, child.” He drew out a handkerchief and unashamedly wiped his eyes and blew his nose. “Norman not only helped me get this business started, he helped others too. Your father was one of the good ones, Gloriana.”
She sniffed back tears. “Yes. Yes, he was.”
Blakely wrapped the compass in brown paper and handed it to her. “Just take this for your young man. If he’s half the man your father was, you’ll be blessed.”
“I can’t give him something that cost me nothing.” Gloriana smiled. “Didn’t David himself say that of giving to God? I must pay my fair share.”
“One dollar. I will take no more,” he replied.
She considered arguing that she knew the piece cost him more than that, but instead she pushed across a dollar’s worth of coins. “Thank you, Mr. Blakely. I have only one more request.”
“Anything for you.” He smiled.
“One day, will you please tell my brother the stories you have about Papa? As the years go by, he won’t remember as clearly from his own collection of memories. He’ll need friends like you to remind him.”
Mr. Blakely straightened as if coming to attention. “I would be proud to do so.”
“Thank you. I know I would enjoy hearing them as well.”
She left the little shop feeling uplifted and encouraged, and all because someone had bothered to take time to share with her a story of love. She tucked the compass into her bag, knowing Mr. Blakely had probably lost considerably on the deal. It really was, however, the perfect gift for Luke. She could imagine him keeping it in his office. No doubt JT would instruct him exactly where it should go.
Luke led them outside. “Okay, you can look. What do you think?”
Gloriana and JT had been made to keep their gazes on the walkway until they reached Luke’s new carriage. Now they stood in awe at the sight of it.
“It’s beautiful,” Gloriana said. “And enclosed. How marvelous.”
“I figure there are more cold months here than hot, not to mention the annoyance of the bugs in summer. Maybe the enclosed carriage will keep them to a minimum.” He smiled and opened the door. “Blankets await you.”
The ride to the school was bumpy, but so much better than walking the mile uphill. The strong team Luke had secured made short work of it, and when they came to a halt outside the building, it seemed to Gloriana that they had just gotten comfortable.
“I have to go,” JT declared, scampering off to join his friends before Gloriana could protest.
Luke came and took Sally in hand, then reached up to offer his assistance to Gloriana. She felt like a fine lady and noticed that the carriage drew more than a few stares. Several church ladies came over to greet her.
“Such a beautiful carriage,” one commented.
Another leaned in for Gloriana’s ears only. “Has he proposed yet?”
Gloriana felt her face heat despite the cold. She and Luke had only known each other for three months and had spent that time in mourning and trying to figure out how to take care of JT and Sally’s needs.
Luke saved her from having to answer. “We’d best get inside, ladies. The weather might cause harm to your delicate constitutions.”
The ladies giggled like schoolgirls. It was probable that no one had ever worried about their constitutions. Not only that, but women in Duluth were hardly likely to be delicate.
The schoolhouse had chairs arranged at the back for the parents, while the children’s desks had been moved closer to the front of the room. Gloriana could see JT’s curly head bobbing back and forth while he chatted with the boys on either side of him. Finally, the schoolmaster appeared and started the festivities off with a blessing.
“Lord our God, King of the universe, we give glory and honor to You and You alone. You have given us great hope and love in the gift of Your Son, Jesus. We thank You for Him and all that He has done on our behalf. Let our words be of thanksgiving at all times. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Several voices affirmed the amen before Mr. Nelson continued by introducing the youngest of his charges.
Gloriana sat beside Luke while they listened to the children sing and speak about Christmas. Mr. Nelson had put together a lively program focused on enjoying the time of celebration but not forgetting that it was to honor the birth of Christ.
Sally seemed particularly to enjoy the music. She perked up from her nap when the children began to sing and watched with wonder from Gloriana’s lap. When the music ended, the baby seemed perplexed.
Mr. Nelson got up and began to speak about the school year. “I have a special presentation to make this year to one particular young man. He gave of himself in a way that went above and beyond anything he was required to do. Many of you might have noticed how nice the school desks look. That is in thanks to Master Womack.”
The severe-looking schoolmaster motioned JT to the front of the room. “JT refinished each of the desks for us. He stayed after school and sanded them and then stained them. They look new again, and we are very grateful. In consideration of that, I created a new award—an award of service. And this one goes to Jeremiah Thomas Womack.”
Gloriana remembered all of JT’s late nights arriving home. He had asked her to trust him and promised he wasn’t being naughty. Tears came, and she let them flow without shame. Her little brother had made her so proud.
“Did you know about this?” Luke whispered.
“No, did you?”
His gaze met hers. “No. He’s quite the young man.”
JT received his certificate and smiled a toothy grin out at the audience before Mr. Nelson let him reclaim his seat with the other children. Gloriana was grateful he made no mention of JT’s carving on his desk in the first place. There was no need to shame the boy and then honor him.
When the program concluded, JT rushed over to Gloriana and Luke, waving his certificate. “Now you know my surprise,” he declared. “But I didn’t know I was going to get an award. Just look! I’ve never had an award.”
“I’m so very proud of you, JT. I have no words. You are the best little brother that ever was or will be.” Gloriana hugged him close, and Sally immediately thrust her hands into his hair.
“Ow, Sally. That hurts,” JT complained, but he didn’t try to force her to let go.
Luke took care of freeing him. “I am very proud of you, JT. You never said a word about it, so I’m equally surprised.”
JT looked up once the baby had been loosed from his hair. “I wanted to do it for Papa. Do you think he knows? Do you think he’s proud?”
Luke squatted down. “I think he’s very proud.”
“He told me I needed to fix the desk I ruined and also fix the others. I was really mad at him for that punishment. It seemed like he just wanted to be mean to me. But then I got to thinking about how it was the last thing I could do to honor him.”
Luke shook his head. “No. It’s not the last. Growing up to be a trustworthy and honest man will be a lasting memorial of honor to your father. You bear his name—Womack. Wear it proudly and do it no harm. That will make him very, very proud.”
JT nodded, his expression solemn. “I want him to be proud of me.”
“Oh, JT. He always was.” Gloriana bent to kiss his head. “He always was.”
“I’ll be over here bright and early tomorrow to accompany you to church,” Luke said.
“It’s terribly cold,” Gloriana began.
He shook his head. “I will not take no for an answer. It’s Christmas and we will be in church. Then we will come home, and I will cook for you and amaze you with my skills.”
“And there will be presents?” JT asked.
“Absolutely. I give you my word there will be presents.”
JT clapped. “Then I’m going to bed right now.” He jumped up on his stool in order to reach Gloriana’s face. He gave her a quick kiss, then hopped down and gave Luke a hug. “I’m so excited. I hope I can sleep fast.”
“I’ll be there to tuck you in shortly,” Gloriana said. When JT was gone, she looked at Luke and shook her head. “Just look what you’ve done now. He probably won’t sleep a wink.”
“He will, don’t worry.” He surprised her by taking her hand. “And you will too, Gloriana.”
She felt her hand tremble and wondered if he knew the effect he had on her. When he closed his other hand over hers, she knew he must.
“I know these months have been hard on you. I know you’ve suffered doubly because you feel God betrayed your trust in Him. But, Gloriana—He hasn’t betrayed you, nor did He betray your father. He was there on the Ana Eileen with my brother and your father and the others. He never left them for a moment, and when that ship went down, God met them in the depths and welcomed them home.”
She tried to swallow the lump in her throat and pull away, but Luke held her fast.
“Don’t let the devil have a hold on your heart,” he continued. “You have so much love to give. I see you with Sally and JT, and I know there is such kindness and joy in you. Your loss—my loss . . . they are hard to bear and will continue to be for some time. But we aren’t alone in this. God is not some cruel prankster playing a game with us. He is the sovereign God of the universe—the Maker of all creation, and yet He knows our every tear, our pain, our loss.”
She couldn’t look away from Luke’s loving gaze. He spoke to her from the intimate depth of his soul. How could she doubt the truth of what he shared?
He touched her cheek, and it was nearly Gloriana’s undoing. She shook her head and lowered her gaze. “I should be so grateful for all I have, and I know I need to be cheerful for JT—and strong for him. But I have so little strength. I think the wall I’ve put up between myself and God has caused me to lose all hope. I just can’t seem to tear down the bricks. They are firmly in place, put there by anger, accusation, and bitterness.”
“Just talk to Him, Gloriana. Just tell God what you’re feeling and thinking. He can hear through the bricks. He already knows what you’ll say, but it will do your soul good to tell Him.” Luke kissed her forehead.
Gloriana wished it had been her lips he kissed, but she knew that until she resolved matters with God, she was no good to anyone.
Luke left after that, and Gloriana stood for a long time in front of the fire, pondering her soul and the sadness she felt. Could God even forgive her for her anger? She had failed His test of faith—she had denied Him three times at least.
She sank into her mother’s soft old chair and wept.
Chapter 13
Gloriana awoke Christmas morning and realized by the silence in the house that no one else was yet stirring. It seemed strange that the baby still slept, but she decided to enjoy these moments of solitude and ponder the day.
Stretching, she snuggled deeper into the covers. She had dreaded the coming of Christmas each year since losing her mother. Mama was the one who had always made Christmas a special time. Now that job fell to Gloriana, and she felt woefully inadequate. Especially this year.
She thought of all the Christmases she’d enjoyed as a child. Waking up on Christmas morning, the first sensation was always the blended aroma of so many wonderful things to eat. Mama would get cinnamon rolls in the oven before church and pull them out to cool just before the family headed out to worship. There was the scent of coffee and other delicious smells in the air, and Gloriana could hardly contain her excitement.
The weeks before Christmas, she and her mother would make candy and cookies, if money and supplies permitted. It was difficult to get supplies in Duluth during the winter months. Often her father and other fishermen would put on snowshoes and trek to Superior or even farther for much-needed medicines or food. Because of all the stories of these long journeys, Gloriana thought they must surely live at the very top of the world. She remembered seeing a map when she finally went to school. They weren’t at the very top, but they weren’t that far either.
She remembered the celebration they had when Minnesota became an official territory in 1849 and then a state in 1858. She had thought it a grand thing, although some people resented the restrictions and new laws it put on the land. Her father told her that coming under the authority of the United States offered them protection, rather like she was protected as his daughter. It made her feel safe.
Gloriana pushed back the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Stretching again, she lit a candle. The soft glow of light was adequate without being intrusive. She grabbed her robe and glanced into the cradle. Sally’s lips pursed and sucked, but she slept on. The sight made Gloriana smile. What a precious creation. She marveled at how God had sculpted tiny fingers and toes, little ears and mouth. It dawned on her that she was thinking of God’s amazing creation, and she reflected on the ongoing war she’d been having with her emotions and heart. There was just so much pain to overcome.
She knew Pastor Sedgwick and Luke would both suggest she give that pain over to God—let Him take her burden and bear it for her. Still, Gloriana felt her anger rise up. If God loved her so much, then why hadn’t He saved her father? Why had He allowed her mother to get sick and die? Why had he taken Tabby and Aaron? How could that possibly equate to love?
Sally stirred and began to wake up. Gloriana took the candle and hurried from the room to warm a bottle. There was hardly any warmth left at all in the stove, so she placed a few sticks of wood inside and got them lit. Another task her mother had always overseen. Papa would see to the fireplace, building up a nice big fire to warm the entire front of the house, but Mother managed the kitchen. It was her domain, and everyone knew it.
The memory made Gloriana smile. As the stove’s warmth began to build, she could remember her mother telling Gloriana that the kitchen was the heart of any home. Gloriana could see and understand that even at a young age. The kitchen was the gathering place. Many a time her father’s friends or crew had met there. Visitors were often directed there, where Mama would lay out a spre
ad of goodies and coffee, or even full meals. Heartaches were shared at the table over coffee or milk and cookies. Every important decision her folks had ever made had been made in the kitchen, it seemed.
Gloriana fed the fire a few more pieces of wood, then got the goat’s milk from the window icebox her father had made. The window opened to reveal a box tacked onto the house. On the outside there was a hatch for increasing or decreasing its exposure to the cold. It was convenient and perfect for keeping their food chilled in the winter. Even in the summer, it served a purpose. Her father would pack insulation around it and slip a large piece of ice inside, making it an official icebox.
With the bottle warming, Gloriana went to the living room to tend to the fireplace. There wasn’t much in the way of live embers, but just enough that with a few wood shavings and some kindling, she had a small fire going in minutes. Papa had taught them all how to make a fire.
“Sometimes you have to coax it to life,” he’d say. “And other times it will take off without your even trying. It’s deadly and must be carefully tended. Many a house or life has been lost due to careless fires.”
His warning had never been far from her thoughts. In that moment and so many others, he had been such a good teacher. His absence left a hole that could not be filled.
Gloriana added larger pieces of wood and finally logs, and it wasn’t long before there was a roaring fire. She sat on JT’s stool and warmed herself while gazing into the flames. What did life hold in store for their future? She sighed. Would anything ever feel normal again? Safe? Would they ever truly be happy?
After losing Mama and the others, Papa had once told her that sometimes just getting through the day was a good enough accomplishment. Endurance was often an overlooked blessing. She sighed.
Remembering the bottle, Gloriana made her way back to the stove. She tested the milk and found it sufficiently warm just as Sally began to offer up her morning protests of having an empty stomach. Gloriana grabbed a cleaning cloth and dipped it into the warm water around the bottle, then took it with her to greet Sally.
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