Unmarked: Sean's Story (Chosen #4)

by Alisa Mullen

  “Let’s do it,” I said, bumping his fist. “Let’s get our shit done by ten o’clock tomorrow night and we can head in.”

  “Dude, she is gonna cream her panties when I tell her,” he chortled.

  I rolled my eyes and a flash off Aoife spread out before me, her face lit up with hunger and anticipation hit me full force. I shook the image out of my head and headed towards my truck. Tonight, I would sleep alone for the first time in months. I was not looking forward to anything. Nothing about going home sounded appealing. I stopped at the liquor store and picked up the whisky that Aoife had been drinking the night she had shown me her scars.

  I found myself staring at photos of us together for hours that night. I tried to find the answers to who we were and what would happen to us in those pictures. I was officially obsessed. I picked up my phone and dialed Aoife’s cell phone. I had turned it off so that when I did call, I could listen to her cute voicemail. I never left a message. Tonight I decided to. It was probably because of the booze but I had to talk to her – even though I knew she would never listen to it.

  “Hey, baby. I miss you. I know you didn’t want to say goodbye to me and I understand but I wish I knew if you were okay. I want to know how the flight was and well, if your father is giving you a hard time. I don’t know why you didn’t give me your address. I could write to you. At least we could have been pen pals.” I laughed a bit and swore under my breath.

  “So, I am going out with a girl named Laura tomorrow night. She has liked me for a while, I guess. It turns out that she has been waiting for you to leave. I don’t know why I am going out with her. I guess I just don’t want to feel this hollow anymore. Do you feel hollow, too? I don’t want you to be, baby. I want you to be happy.”

  The fucking beep came over the line. I had gone over my time on the phone and I wasn’t done. I called back immediately. Listening to her voice made me close my eyes tight. I pinched them so I wouldn’t start crying.

  “So, I guess I went over my time. I miss you. I love you so much, Aoife. I don’t know how I am going to live my life without you in it. I don’t even want to go to bed because you aren’t there. Everything reminds me of you. Every God damn thing. Please call me. Please write to me. Something.”

  I let the silence fall and I thought about her the first night when she told me I was fucking hot. The beep finally came on, I hit end on the phone and threw it on the bed. I took another shot of whisky and went back to looking at pictures of us. There was an awesome picture of her kicking a guy from Kenpo in the leg on the mats. She looked fierce. Tough. She wasn’t the same girl in that photo that I had met that first night. She had gained strength because of me. I helped her find her inner bitch. I hoped like hell she was using it when she had to.

  I took another shot and got up on the bed. I fell asleep staring at a photo of us taken during a game at Fenway. We looked so perfect. Every time the screen went dim, I clicked on it to come back to life. I would never let her dim from my memory no matter what happened.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Sean

  A few weeks later, I was sitting at my bench and talking to Menthol about a design he had done when Laura came in. She had worn a white halter top and ripped tight jeans. Her tats on her arms were hot. She smiled at me and I nodded. Seconds later, she was perched on my lap and kissing my neck.

  “I couldn’t wait until after work to see you, baby,” she moaned.

  I let her kiss me and flipped my hat backwards. “Yeah? You missed me that much since this morning?”

  “Hell yeah I did. If I could keep you naked twenty four seven, I would die a happy woman,” she whispered in my ear.

  Laura and I were consistently hooking up. At first, I couldn’t get hard for her – like ever. So I started imagining it was Aoife and jackpot. Ever since, I enjoyed Laura’s friendship while I fucked Aoife by proxy. Shit move, probably, but I didn’t give a fuck. I was drinking every night and hanging with Laura most of those nights, too.

  Lizzie tried calling almost daily with no response on my end. She even drove up to The Ink Shop one day, looking for me. I hid in the back and promised Bold a raise if he would get rid of her. I was a fucking mess and I didn’t want anyone outside of the smokes and Laura to see me like this. I knew I was going down my mother’s path but I didn’t give a flying fuck. I was heartbroken and I needed the art of distraction like nobody’s business. The art of distraction was Laura sitting on my lap. The art of distraction was in every bottle of liquor I killed and in every piece of ink I slung every day. Again, if Aoife were there, I would call her a freaking genius because it worked ninety five percent of the time. The other five percent was a full blown pity party of one.

  I missed her and I wouldn’t deny that if anyone had asked me. No one did. They all pretended that I hadn’t been completely absent all summer long, that I was just the same Sean Ford that had always been. They were wrong. I could party and play with chicks like the rest of them – but this wasn’t me. I had somehow lost all the honest to God desire to be that dick that fucked anyone interested. So, I pretended that Laura meant something to me so I didn’t have to deal with the morning after guilt trip I had the first time after I fucked Laura.

  She had been pleased. I made love to her like I would with Aoife, worshipping every inch of her body like she had loved. I repeated her name in my head when I kissed Laura’s smooth and flawless skin – wishing just for one minute a scar would appear. It was unreal the thoughts I had. I knew I was close to a total breakdown but I had to keep living. I had to keep getting up and doing what Sean Ford was expected to do.

  That night, Laura and I had decided on staying in and watching a movie. We were lying in my bed – her body curled up to mine. I never fully reciprocated when we cuddled. Somehow that felt even worse that fucking her. Todd knocked on the door rather loudly.

  “Dude, Lizzie is trying to get a hold of you.” His voice sounded annoyed and tired. It was nearly midnight and the guy worked day shifts.

  “So?” I called out to the door.

  “So fucking pick up the phone,” he yelled back as I heard him walk down the hall.

  “Why does Lizzie want to talk to you so badly?” Laura questioned as she traced a tribal on my chest.

  I shook my head. “No idea,” I confirmed and went to grab my phone. Fifteen missed phone calls and nine texts that basically demanded me to call her…until the tenth. A one word text came through just as I was about to delete the voicemails.

  Lizzie: Aoife.

  My heart stopped. What the hell did she know about Aoife? I don’t know exactly what happened after that but Laura was yelling at me to come back to bed as I was pulling a shirt on to make a run to my truck. I needed privacy.

  “I have to run out to the truck for something,” I said as I looked at the text again and that bloody beautiful name that was on the screen. I didn’t hear Laura’s response as I basically ran out to the truck.

  She picked up right as I closed myself in the passenger side of the truck.

  “Hello, Seany,” she said.

  “What is it?” I demanded.

  “Well, hello to you, too. I hear you are spending your time with Jack and Daniel.”

  I put my hand on top of my head and closed my eyes. “Lizzie, why in God’s name did you text me her name?”

  “Well, Sean. If you had returned my calls this week, you would have known about this a little sooner but since Aoife is the only one you are thinking about right now – I figured that it would get your attention,” she explained and paused, “and it did.”

  I sighed.

  “So, I got a call Monday from Freddie. He never calls unless he is coming into town. He asked me if I knew where Aoife was.”

  I lost all thought processing skills.

  “Why doesn’t he know where she is?”

  “Well, I guess she quit her job with no notice. When he called the college to find out why, they had said she hadn’t been in class that day so they would cal
l him when they could get a message through one of her professors.”

  “And?” I asked franticly.

  “And, Freddie called me today and said she hasn’t shown up for her classes either. She missed the first week of school, Sean. She went missing.”

  “What do you mean she went fucking missing? Doesn’t anyone have her address or phone number?” I barked at her.

  “Yes, they do. Freddie’s brother is an acquaintance of hers and he went to the Greystones in Wicklow and she wasn’t home. No one answered the door both yesterday and today.” She inhaled a deep breath and let it out slow and audible. “Sean, she is gone.”

  “Do you think she is coming here? Do you think she left to come be with me?” I asked, so fucking hopeful that that might be a possibility.

  “No, they think she probably went into Dublin and is staying with a friend or…” she trailed off.

  “Or what?”

  “Well, her father, Sean. He isn’t a very good guy. I guess everyone in that small town knows it but no one seems that concerned that she is gone.” I could tell she was started to get choked up. “I had her pegged all wrong, Sean. I am so, so sorry. I should have believed her when she told me she loved you more than any other guy she has ever known. I thought she was just using you – well, because all girls use you. You are eye candy hotness with a heart of gold.”

  “Where is she?” I asked not paying attention to anything else she said.

  “I was hoping you could go tell me,” she said with a dare in her tone.

  I had to go to Ireland. Aoife was missing and I had to go find her. I had to try everything I could to make sure that she was in a good place. Good enough for me to leave her again. Could I do it? Could I find her? Could I leave her again?

  I got out of the truck and started to pace the driveway. I saw Laura on the steps.

  “Nick bought you a plane ticket to Dublin. It leaves in five hours. It is under your name through Air International. I hope you find her,” Lizzie announced. Then she was gone. She had given me not only a message but permission to try harder for my heart. Or just try to find out the answers.

  A text came through my phone.

  It was Aoife’s address in Ireland.

  Where I would be standing in less than twenty four hours from now.

  Chapter Thirty

  Wicklow, Ireland

  Twenty-Three Hours Later

  Sean

  I had never seen any place so green in my life. It was like someone put on a black light and instead of showing off white, green was the color it accentuated. Rolling hills of dark, stormy rocks and cliffs that I would never be caught dead standing at the top of. I tried to take it all in. It was my first time ever out of the country so I should have been excited to see a new culture. I wasn’t excited at all.

  If Aoife was sitting next to me and pointing out every rock or side road, I would give her all of my attention. Shit, I would have taken notes and demanded we got our own car so we could properly tour Ireland together. But reality was that she wasn’t sitting next to me and as beautiful the scenery was, it was just the place I had to get to so I could get my girl.

  She was all that I thought about. I made it to downtown Dublin and caught the first bus I could to Greystones. My duffle bag was all I had and for all I knew, it had like five shirts and one pair of boxers. I remembered yelling that Aoife was in trouble. Laura begged me not to go. Todd had to hold her back from getting to me while I jumped in the truck. She continued to say that we had something special.

  Laura didn’t know what fucking special meant. As I packed my shit, I explained exactly what special meant. Special was me getting on a God damn plane to a country where you knew one person and that one person was missing. Special was hoping that said person could be found and then living the rest of your life never letting her go. Laura said never was a word people shouldn’t use. I disagreed. I would love Aoife forever. I would never forget that. She cried and I didn’t care. It was another one of those inconsequential breakups that didn’t matter. Finding Aoife was life or death for me. I needed her to live. I was dying inside not knowing where and what she was doing.

  As we neared the town of Wicklow, I asked the bus driver where I could find the council estates. His look was odd but he answered me in a professional way nonetheless.

  “You can find them all along the town. Do ya have an address on ya?”

  I felt like an idiot, but fuck it. My trip so far hadn’t been without nauseating drama.

  I had sat next to a woman on the plane who told me that if I didn’t establish a friendship with Jesus Christ the Lord by the time ISIS came knocking on my door, then I wouldn’t know how to answer their questions when they put the blade to my neck. I swear to all that is holy – if I could make it out of this trip with the one reason, the one person I was taking it for, I would establish a relationship with whomever the fuck anyone wanted me to.

  I informed that lady that I was a selfish son of a bitch and had no idea what she was talking about. It was true. I hated the news. I lived in a bubble. Shit like terrorists and bombings stressed me out so I pretended it didn’t affect me. And it kind of didn’t unless Air International randomly put me next to a Bible Thumper. When the bubble busted open, of course I wished I had picked up a newspaper every once in a while so I could properly tell the woman that she was full of shit.

  Instead I told her that I was going to find my missing and physically abused girlfriend in a little fishing town in Ireland and I was afraid for her life. That seemed to shut her up right quick. Yeah, we all have our problems. Just in case, I said a prayer for those who were dealing with ISIS and asked for a teeny favor from God. Just help me find her, I prayed.

  The bus driver went over one last hill and pointed towards a group of condominium looking housing down the road. “Ye find that one down there.”

  I thanked him and went back to my seat. All of the occupants, who I carefully scanned for anyone who looked like Aoife, stared at me like I was a lab rat. I suppose tattoos up the neck weren’t a big fad out here in the small villages of Ireland. I tried to stay relaxed but the closer and the slower we drove into Aoife’s hometown, the more agitated I became. Would I really see her today? Was it true she had just taken off? Someone had to know something and I made it a point to put a long sleeve shirt on before I started asking questions.

  The bus driver motioned for me to get off the bus when we stopped in front of what looked like a convenience store. It was a house-like building, something that you would see in coastal towns that didn’t allow the Cumberland Farms of the world to break into their territory. I looked up at the store and then down to the piece of paper in my hand. Going into the store, I was met by an older woman with gray hair. She had it pulled back in a bun and wore glasses. Her smile was quick and I smiled back – hoping that she would be able to point me in the right direction.

  “Good afternoon, ma’am. I am looking for this address,” I said as I pointed to the piece of paper.

  “Ah, ye an American?” she asked with her eyebrows raised.

  “Yes, ma’am.” I stood up a little taller. I don’t know why I felt the need to impress this woman but it seemed like she probably saw and knew a lot about this small coastal town. I needed her to be on my side.

  “Just tell me who you’re looking for then,” she crossed her arms over her rather large chest and stared me down.

  “Um... Aoife Flanagan, ma’am.”

  “Peter Flanagan’s daughter? She is living over in the council buildings up the road and to the left,” she said as she waved out the door. “What do you want with her, boy?”

  “Uh, I heard that she wasn’t working anymore and I met her this summer. I was hoping I could see her,” I answered, rambling, really. I had a lot I wanted to do with her but I didn’t think this woman would want to know everything. Well, maybe she did – seeing as I was the only one from the bus that actually walked into her store. How she made any business here was beyond me. It wa
s dead.

  “I haven’t heard much from Peter or Aoife. I do see her with that boy quite a lot but who knows, maybe she moved to Dublin after all.” She turned and started to tidy up some things around the cash register.

  “She is with the boy a lot?” I froze. I needed to know more. She had to tell me who the boy was.

  “Ye, I never found out his name. It’s a damn shame that she ended up with him but they are very fond of each other when I see them. Life happens but that father of hers? Pshh,” she rolled her eyes. “He is competing for the town drunk award this year.”

  I don’t think I said another word before I headed out the door. So, after all this time – she did have another guy waiting for her back home. She wasn’t my responsibility anymore. She probably took off with that douche bag and finally left her father. Maybe after Kenpo and meeting me, she knew she could do better than living with her da. It made sense. We both had learned a lot over the summer.

  I decided to risk it and head over to her house. If I saw her with another man, then I would turn around, head back to Boston, and never again worry or think or fantasize about her. It was like dousing a fire with ice water. It was like poof and all the magic of what you thought was magic – was actually just a fucking stupid parlor trick.

  I walked along the condo looking homes. They were trashed. Kids were playing outside in the streets with cars driving past. There weren’t any adults out except for a guy in the back of one condo yelling something. I looked up at him and saw he was taking a swill off of a bottle and a younger looking blonde girl was watching him, terrified and dumbstruck. He spit on the ground after nodding his head at me and went back to screaming something about money to the girl.

  Birds flew around the buildings like vultures. I don’t know if this place was also where they nested but it seemed like they were circling food or something to attack. A couple of beater cars were parked on the side of the road and I could tell that they probably hadn’t been used in months. This was most definitely what Section Eight living looked like in Boston. Dumpy, drama-filled, and a disaster waiting to happen on any given night. I took a right onto Center Road. Aoife’s house was on Center.