by Sophia Shade
After Erick leaves, Caleb pulls me in closer to his side. “That guy can be so weird sometimes.”
I pull away from Caleb’s embrace. “That’s not nice,” I say, though I don’t know why I’m defending him. It just feels mean. Caleb’s supposed to be his friend.
“But it’s true,” he says. He stands up and takes my hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I can’t wait to show you this thing.”
As we leave the cafeteria and head down the hall, we pass Headmistress Shadowburn’s office and turn a corner right by another door that catches my eye. I’ve never noticed it before, yet it seems impossible to miss. It’s painted red, when all the other doors in the school are a stained oak. Something about it seems awfully familiar, though.
“Hey,” I ask, pausing in front of the door. “What is that room? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.”
“That used to be a teacher’s lounge,” he says. “But a couple of years ago, a student put a curse on the room the teachers haven’t been able to undo. So Headmistress Shadowburn sealed the door. No one is allowed in there now.”
He tugs on my hand to keep moving down the hall, but there is something about that door, and I let my hand slip from his. For a second, I think I see it pulse, like a deep, heavy heartbeat.
I need to know what is behind it. Now.
“Imogen,” Caleb’s voice calls me back to myself. “What’s wrong? Are you coming?”
I shake my head as if I were in a daze, which I kind of was. The door just seems normal now. What was that?
“Huh?” I ask, turning back to him. “Yeah, what? Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” he says. “Come on!”
We head out the door, across the quad, and into the woods.
“What about the curfew?”
He gives me a mischievous grin. “Being a prince has its advantages.”
We go a way I’ve never been before. There isn’t even a path here, and I’m glad I have Caleb to guide me. Gingerly stepping through the twigs and branches, I crush leaves beneath my feet.
Finally, we come to an open clearing. It’s dark now, but the moon is bright. It’s not quite full, but it is very near. When the moon is full, it will be the Moon Festival. My anxiety creeps up, and I rub the Moon Festival bracelet I’m wearing. I still haven’t figured out the significance of my vision yet, nor who the person with the bloody arm is.
All things considered, it could be me, I suppose. I’m not sure how visions work. Can the one having the vision see their own dead body? It’s not like I can ask.
I turn to Caleb, considering opening up to him. He’s my boyfriend, and before that, he was my friend. It’s not like he’s gonna turn me in for being Dark Blessed, or stop being my friend.
But my fear is too great. There’s too many unknowns. To many what-ifs.
What if I lose the only friends I’ve ever had because I’m Dark Blessed?
What if standing by my side, knowing I’m Dark Blessed, would put them in even more danger?
I don’t want to lose them in any sense of the word. Before I tell anyone anything, I need to make sure I’m making the right decision in doing so. When it comes down to it, I can always tell them later, but once it’s out, I can’t take it back.
Caleb nudges me, then points into the distance. “Look,” he whispers. “There it is!”
I look over and see…nothing.
“What is it?” I ask in a normal voice.
“Shh,” Caleb murmurs, his finger to his lips. “There. Focus. In the trees. A wisp!”
I peer into the branches, finally spotting what he means. A tiny speck of light bouncing from leaf to leaf. And then another one.
“What’s a wisp?” I ask.
Caleb kneels, and I follow suit.
“Some say they are a rare kind of wee folk,” he says. “Legend says if you catch one, they will grant your one true wish.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. “Hasn’t anyone ever just gone up and talked to them before? Like the pixies?”
“These are smaller and quicker than pixies,” he says in his hushed voice. “No one has ever caught a wisp.”
“No one…” I say, “…until me!” I jump up and bound across the field toward the lights. As I get closer, several more become clear, but they all scatter when I get to where they were.
“You daft girl,” Caleb says, laughing as he comes up behind me. “What did I say? You can’t catch them!”
Just then, one of the wisps comes up and circles around us. Then another and another. We are surrounded by tiny blue lights. I scrunch my eyes to try and see what the wee folk inside the light look like, but I can’t. They must be so incredibly tiny! They flit around us, up and down, and I hold my hand up. I think one lands on my finger for just a millisecond, but it flies away again before I can be sure.
“By the Gods,” Caleb says. “You truly are special. You just caught a wisp!”
“I don’t think that counts,” I say.
“Let’s pretend it does,” he says, winking at me. He takes my hands in his. “Make a wish.”
I close my eyes and try to think of what I would wish for if I could have one thing. Would it be to have my mom here? To find the killer? Would I wish for something abstract like happiness or love? The possibilities are endless.
“Can I save it for later?” I ask. “I’m not sure I can decide right now.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because all I can think about right now is you.”
He puts his arms around my waist, and I encircle his neck with mine. We sway back and forth, our foreheads together as if we are dancing to music only we can hear.
“I’ll allow it,” he whispers. “Tuck it away and keep it safe. You’ll know when the time is right to use it.”
He kisses me, tenderly, warmly, and I return it. Closing my eyes, I just let myself go in the moment. He runs his hands up and down my back, then over my backside. A tingle rushes up my spine, and I let out a little gasp. He grips me firmly, and I lean into him. We stumble to the ground.
He rolls on top of me, kissing me all the while. His lips move down to my neck, my chest. When he cups my breast, a moan that shocks me is my answer. I can’t deny the feelings he’s invoking in my body as he grazes his thumb across my nipple through my shirt, but my mind’s racing because I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.
“I want you,” he whispers. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”
“Me too,” I say. Finally, he’s doing what I’ve been fantasizing about. Taking the lead and releasing a passion I wasn’t sure existed. Something about getting physical eases my mind of any thoughts he’s not really into me, even as I know how stupid that sounds. It’s like my emotions and my body and my mind can’t seem to get on the same page.
He runs his hand up my bare leg. With barely any hesitation, he slides it under my skirt and toys with the band of my underwear, as if waiting for my signal to proceed.
But I can’t.
“Caleb,” I say. “What about…uh…protection?”
“What?” he asks.
“You know, a condom or something.”
“Oh…” His eyebrows pull together, confusion clear. “We don’t usually worry about those,” he says. “Fae can’t get STDs.”
“But Fae women can get pregnant,” I point out.
It’s a mood-killing statement, but I had to say it.
He removes his hand and sits back. “Um…yeah, sure. But not often. Like, a Fae couple will only have maybe three children in their lifetime.”
“What about half-Fae?” I say. “When Fae sleep with humans, it seems like they get pregnant a lot more often.” I think about Professor Draconis and his fifteen half-Fae children.
“I…” He pauses and rubs his head. “I don’t know. Like I said, my kind don’t usually date Halflings, so I never really thought about it.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m just so dumb. I’ve been wanting this for a long time, but I
never bothered to ask anyone if there was anything I actually needed to know about…you know…Fae…sex…stuff.”
He chuckles. “You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed,” he says. “Really, it’s okay. You set the pace, remember?”
“Oh my God,” I say, burying my face in my hands. “I want to die.”
He stands and takes my hand. “Nah, it’s fine. Another time, yeah?”
I stand with him. “Yeah,” I say. Part of me believes that, but part doesn’t, and I can’t place why. Staring around, I notice the wisps are gone. “I guess they didn’t want a peep show.”
“I guess not,” he says. We head back toward the wooded trail. “But some people don’t think they even exist. They say it’s just a trick of the light when the moon is on the ascent.”
“Well, I think they’re real,” I say. “I know I saw something special tonight.”
As we exit the woods, Caleb kisses my nose.
“I don’t need the wisps to see something special,” he says.
Forget what Dannika said. I never should have let her get in my head about Erick. My heart belongs to Caleb.
Chapter 10
When I wake up the next morning, I feel refreshed. A smile stretches my face when I open my eyes. The sun is shining, the birds are tweeting. It’s cliché, but it’s true. This year has been so stressful I haven’t had time to appreciate the wonders and everyday beauty of life here. Last night, Caleb reminded me of just how magical it can be.
“You look like the cat that ate the canary,” Dannika says, shooting me a smile around our shared closet door. “You sure were out late.”
I sit up and stretch. “Yeah. I was with Caleb.”
“Oooh! Dish, dish, dish,” she squeals, jumping onto my bed. “Did you finally have your way with him?”
I blush and slap her arm playfully. “No!” I pause for dramatic effect. “But we were really close.”
We laugh and squeal like idiots for a moment.
“What happened?” she asks. “You weren’t ready? Having second thoughts? Is it about Erick?”
“Gods, no,” I say. “And I don’t know if I’m ready, to be honest, but we stopped before I could figure it out.”
“Girl,” Dannika says, raising her eyebrows. “You need to figure that out before you get going. Don’t they teach you that stuff in the human realm?”
“Yeah, Kinda.” I sigh. “I’ve just been too…preoccupied to really think about it outside the abstract. Actually, the reason we stopped is because he didn’t have any protection. I was worried about being safe, from STDs and pregnancy.”
She raises an eyebrow. “You know we don’t get STDs, right?”
“Yeah, he told me,” I say.
“But the pregnancy thing…that’s a little tricky.”
“I told him I would ask you about it and get back to him.”
“Well, I can’t tell you whether you’re ready for sex,” she says, getting off my bed and going to the vanity mirror to brush her hair. “But I can tell you Fae don’t get pregnant often.”
“That’s what he said,” I mumble. “But not often isn’t the same as never.”
Dannika pushes a headband into her hair. “That’s right,” she says. “But it’s really rare when you think about it. Fae live forever, so if we had as many kids as humans, Aos Sí would be bursting with creatures.”
“That makes sense,” I say.
“A Fae couple only have a child like every thousand years,” she says.
“And what about a half-Fae woman?” I ask.
Dannika pauses with her lip gloss before it even touches her lips. “Well, they do get pregnant more often. About twice as much, actually,” she says. “But still, that only means like two kids every thousand years. We tend to believe that since children are so rare, they are just meant to be when they do happen. So we don’t worry about preventing them.”
“I understand your sentiment,” I say. “But that still means it could happen. I don’t know whether I’m ready for sex, but I do know I’m not ready to have a child.”
“Then wait,” she says, with a smile. “I think you should wait anyway. Not that it’s my business.”
I sit on my heels, narrowing my eyes at her. “What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing,” she says. “But if you really want to think about this, and are worried about the baby thing, then just grab some condoms or get on a birth control like an IUD or something next time you’re in the human realm. It’s not a big deal.”
“That’s a good idea,” I say. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” she says. “Plus, that gives you like another year before you have to worry about the sex thing.”
“That’s not what this is about,” I say.
Dannika grins, almost hitting her tooth with her lip gloss. She smacks her lips together. “I know. I’m just saying… I mean, it’s true.”
“I have more questions.”
Dannika is practically laughing now. “Of course you do. Ask away!”
“What about Fae who sleep with full humans? They have more kids, right?”
“Oh-ho-ho, yeah,” she says. “Well, something about Fae hormones kicks human fertility into overdrive. If you ever do get a maternal instinct to have a kid like right now, just bang a human dude. Well, make sure he is a hot human dude, but you know what I mean.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Dannika flits back to the closet, hemming and hawing as she examines each piece.
“What are you looking for?” I ask.
“Trying to figure out what I’m going to wear to the Moon Festival,” she says. “Everything in here is awful, though.”
“Gosh, I haven’t even considered what I’m going to wear.” I purse my lips, trying to mentally pick my way through my wardrobe. “All I own are jeans, a couple of skirts, and some robes that look like something a teacher would wear.”
“You do have terrible fashion sense,” she says teasingly. “Come on.” She slaps her hand down on my bed. “Get your ugly-ass clothes on and let’s find Ella. We need to get our shopping on.”
For some reason, I had never considered shopping or buying clothes in Fae. Of course, I hadn’t considered spending money at all. I was ordered to come to the school. I hadn’t really had a choice, so I assumed it was free or being paid for by whatever powers that be that controlled stuff. My schooling, room, food, and supplies are provided for me. I never questioned where they came from. Even when I need new clothes—like after I torched my gym clothes—I always find new ones waiting for me in my trunk. I just figured it was some sort of Fae magic that knew what I needed and provided it.
But when I say that to Dannika and Ella, they quickly set the record straight.
“It is sort of like that,” Ella says as we walk down the stairs from the dorms. “When it comes to manual and service labor, the brownies all provide what we need. They are the cooks, the tailors, the janitors, the printers, the farmers…”
“They’re like slaves?” I ask, suddenly horrified I never bothered to ask how my needs are met in this world.
“No,” Ella exclaims. “It’s just how they are. The brownies live to serve. They love helping others and providing for our needs. It gives them purpose.”
“Just ask them,” Dannika says, probably seeing the dubious expression on my face. “You’ll see.”
“But they aren’t paid?” I ask. “How do they pay for stuff? Like cloth or seeds or whatever they need?”
“Nature provides the raw materials,” Ella says. “And some of us Earth Fae can help it along.”
“This is all so…” I lose my train of thought when we pass by the door I saw when I was with Caleb last night.
“So what?” Dannika asks.
“So…what is behind that door?” I ask.
“What door?” she asks, continuing to move.
“Nothing,” I say, taking a few steps to keep up with her. Now’s not the time.
Bu
t later will be.
We head to a boutique/salon I had no idea existed. A squat brownie woman comes up to me, and then clicks her tongue.
“Oh, what dreadful thing have you brought me to work with?” she asks Dannika.
Dannika and Ella laugh. I consider pointing out that, according to my friends, the brownies are the ones who created the clothes I’m wearing right now. But if I’m being honest, the apparel provided to me was a lot like what I brought with me in the first place, so maybe they were just trying to honor my style…or lack thereof.
“Don’t be too hard on her,” Dannika says. “She was raised in the human world.”
The brownie nods. “I see. Well, let’s get to work then. I suppose you’ll be needing a whole new wardrobe.”
“That…might be nice,” I say. “But to start, I just need a dress for the Moon Festival.”
The brownie’s eyes light up at that. “How wonderful,” she says, clapping her hands together. “We have so many gowns that have just come in stock. Good thing you came early. Everyone will be wanting a fine new frock for the event. Only happens every four years, you know.”
“So they tell me,” I say.
Dannika and Ella are already at the racks, picking through dresses and pulling things to try. They each take like a dozen and pull me into an expansive dressing room. The three of us share the space—which feels a little awkward to me at first, but it proves necessary since each dress has so many layers and buttons and ties. We’d never be able to get the dresses on and off by ourselves.
They are all so fantastic. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before. They are satin and lace and corsets and leather and jewels. They are all made of very high-end materials, and the quality of the stitching is beyond anything I’ve seen before. What’s even more amazing is each one fits all three of us even though we are different body types. Dannika is tall and lean, Ella is short and curvy, and I’m between their heights with more of a pear shape. Really, any of us could walk out of the shop with any dress and be confident it would fit. The only reason we bother trying so many on is to find the perfect dress to flatter our coloring in a style we are comfortable in.
Ella finds her dress first. She chooses a green gown that complements her soft brown hair. It has a gathered bodice with little ivy leaves embroidered around the edges. The satin skirt reaches to the floor, and the sleeves are sheer and designed to float behind her as she walks.
