by S. E. Rose
“Go, I’ll be fine and I’m definitely going to have a good day tomorrow,” I say with a reassuring look. He nods and heads into the airport.
I sigh as I get back in the car and start toward my apartment. After a few minutes, I feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I literally pull over on the side of the road. I can’t breathe, and I feel like the world is collapsing around me. It takes me over thirty minutes to calm myself down. I see a text from Cody telling me he is through security and waiting to board. I want to sink into the ground. Can I do this? Can I be without him? I hadn’t realized that he was my security blanket these past few weeks, but that fact is now very clear to me. I suddenly feel like a building under construction and all my scaffolding has fallen down. Can I actually stand on my own or will I crumble into a huge pile on the floor? I take a few deep breathes and resolve myself to doing this alone.
When I get back home, I find one of Cody’s USB drives on a chair by the table. I smile to myself. He’s a mess. That makes me feel a little better about having a mini panic attack on the side of the road. I chuck the USB drive into my dresser drawer and then laugh that I meant to put it in my desk drawer. Oh well, I’ll move it later.
By the next morning, I’m ready to go. Cody had called the night when he got to Ibague, and we had video chatted while I got ready for bed. It was soothing to hear him talking to me as I pulled up the blankets. We hung up just before I fell asleep.
I give myself one last pep talk in the mirror as I walk out of the bathroom in the PICU nurses’ station and take my first look at patient files in nearly seven weeks. I’m quickly greeted with shrieks and hugs from Cami and Lena and several other nurses. They have all stopped by to visit me over the past few weeks, and everyone has sent me flowers and “get well” cards, but to be here in the flesh feels so much better. Dr. Tomlin is cordial but distant. Perhaps he’s finally gotten the message that I’m not interested. I quickly make my rounds. Alex is still here. They removed his foot while I was gone. He’s in quite a bad mood, and eventually, I give up on trying to cheer him up and move on to Olivia’s room. She looks the same. Mandy is playing Trouble with her when I come in, and she jumps up and into my arms.
“Easy there, tiger,” Mandy says. “Give her space to breathe.”
I laugh. “How’s my favorite patient?” I ask her as she releases me from her child death grip and settles back on her bed.
She shrugs. “OK.”
“Well, that’s not too enthusiastic,” I say as I take her vitals.
“I’m bored, and I want to be back in school,” she groans and crosses her arms. Her lower lip sticks out in a pouty face that makes me laugh.
“Well, let’s get you better and back home, shall we?” She nods, and we chat about what she’s been up to the last few weeks.
By 8:00 p.m., I’m exhausted and my brain hurts. I go to walk to the PATCO, and a man steps out of a limo in front of me.
“Ms. Greene?” he asks. I nod and look at him.
“I’m Harrison, I work for Mr. Cunningham. He sent me to pick you up today,” he says as he opens a door for me.
I raise an eyebrow. “You work for Mr. Cunningham?”
“Well, for the company, but mostly I assist Mr. Cunningham,” he says.
“And the company is OK with me using their limo?”
He grins sheepishly. “It’s a service provided to executives and their spouses.”
“Well, I’m not a spouse.”
“Please, Ms. Greene, Mr. Cunningham’s orders,” he insists. I sigh and reluctantly get into the limo. I text Cody from the limo.
Zoe: A limo? Really?
Cody: Guilty. How was your first day back?
Zoe: Overdoing it, Prince Charming. It was good.
Cody: Well, next time I’ll send my pumpkin carriage. Glad to hear it. I have to go meet with some folks for drinks. Sleep tight and I’ll talk with you tomorrow after your PT, OK?
Zoe: Alright.
Cody: Sweet dreams, princess!
Zoe: You too, Prince Charming.
When we arrive at my apartment, I curse myself as I remember Cody left a USB drive there. I’ll have to text him later. Harrison opens the car door and gives me his card.
“Please, feel free to call me any time,” he says.
“Will do,” I answer and shake his hand before heading up to my apartment. I frown when I notice it’s unlocked. I think back to this morning. Did I lock it? Maybe I forgot? Damn brain.
I slowly open the door. And I don’t see anything out of place. I sigh at my non-functioning brain. I had done so well all day and here my house was unlocked. I look over at Marvin.
“I hope you are a protection fish,” I murmur. My phone buzzes and I look down to see Cody calling me.
“Hey, I thought you were going for drinks,” I answer.
“I am. I just wanted to hear your voice. How was your first day?”
“Good, actually.”
“Great,” he says. I hear a “but” coming. “So, I may need to stay a few more weeks here.”
I groan.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just a mess,” he says as he starts to explain it all to me.
“Cody, stop. You don’t have to explain. I understand. I mean, Jesus, you gave up over a month of your life to help me. I’ll survive for a few weeks. I’m back to normal. I even signed up for another twelve-hour shift at the end of this week, and two more next week. After that, I’m going to try a twenty-four-hour shift and see how it goes. My physical therapy should be done by then. My occupational therapist says I’m all back to normal, or at least a new normal. She keeps saying the brain is a crazy, magical place that no one truly understands. It makes me feel like a leprechaun is going to jump out of my ear or something,” I say. Cody laughs.
“OK, I get the message. Damn, princess, I’m going to miss you so much,” he sighs.
“I know. Me too,” I admit, but I feel stronger after having survived my first day back at work. At least now I know that I can do this on my own.
“Go get some sleep, and we’ll chat tomorrow,” he says.
“OK. G’night,” I say.
“Sweet dreams, darling,” he says and hangs up.
I sit and look around my apartment. I call Rob, but he doesn’t pick up and texts me back that he’s out with friends. I roll my eyes and I call Lily. She picks up on the first ring, and we catch up on everything. I’m so thrilled that she’s doing so well. I’ve never seen her this happy. My mom calls before I climb into bed.
“Hey, honey, how was your first day?”
“Great, Mom. It went really well,” I say.
“Wonderful. And Cody is all settled back in Ibague?” she asks.
“Yep, I just talked to him. He has to stay a few weeks. I guess things were left in more of a tangle than he originally thought,” I explain to her as I set my alarm.
“Oh, well, you know I’m just a call away if you need anything.”
I smile, such a mom. “Yeah, I know.”
I hear her suck in a breath. “So, talk to Dad lately?”
“No.”
“Oh, OK. Well, have a good night and get some sleep,” she says. I can tell she wants to say more, but I’m just too tired to listen, so I let her go and crawl into bed. My phone pings and I reach over to see a text from my dad. It takes me a moment to realize that it is for real.
Dad: Hi, sweetheart, hope you had a good first day back at work. I’m glad you’re doing so well. Please let us know if you need anything.
I sit in stunned silence for a bit. I do occasionally get random texts from my dad, but that he even remembered this was my first day back is sort of a big deal. Maybe he is trying. I groan, not wanting to commit too much to that idea. I sigh and text him back.
Zoe: Thanks, Dad. I will.
As I’m about to fall asleep, I curse myself as I forgot to move Cody’s USB drive, and I forgot to tell him it’s here, yet again. I sigh and try to remind myself to remember all of this tomorrow.<
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Chapter 16
Zoe’s Playlist: “Some Nights” by Fun
The next day, I wake to the sound of dripping. I sit up in bed and realize it’s only 7:15 a.m. and my alarm is set for 7:30 a.m., so I can go to PT. I’m so glad I only have two more weeks of PT. I snap out of my PT thought as I hear more dripping. I get up and walk into my bathroom and find water dripping from the ceiling near the shower. Shit, I think in the remodel they must have run weird pipes in the ceiling and now there’s a leak. I call my landlord who calls a plumber who can get out here in two hours, so much for PT. I call and change my appointment for the next day.
The plumber shows up promptly at nine thirty and assesses my leaking ceiling. After poking around in the attic, he confirms the pipe is leaking and explains that they will need to deconstruct my whole bathroom as the previous contractor did not do the job correctly and they need to redo all the plumbing in my bathroom. I groan. This will be a two-week project. I sit and contemplate my next move. Eventually, I give in and call my mother.
“Mom?” I ask.
“Yes, honey. Is everything OK?”
“Yeah. Well, no. I had a pipe issue in my bathroom, and they have to do a whole renovation project. I was wondering if I could come stay at your place for the next two weeks,” I ask while silently begrudging the fact that I have to go to my mom’s house, but I feel too bad asking for anyone else’s help.
“Sure, no problem. I’ll prep the guest room,” she says. I can tell by her voice that she is secretly thrilled to have me come and stay with her. I roll my eyes to myself. However, my other motive in picking my mom’s place is because it’s right downtown which makes getting to work so much easier.
I pack my stuff and Marvin and even remember to throw in the USB drive. If I remember, I can FedEx it to Cody. By 1:00 p.m., I have managed to make it over to my mom’s house. She’s left a key under the mat as she’s teaching this afternoon, so I let myself inside. My mom lives in a nice brownstone not far from Independence Hall. It’s a cute street of row houses that are a few hundred years old. Her house is three stories plus a converted attic space that she uses as an office. I walk to the second floor and find that the back guest room is ready for me. I place Marvin on a table and sit down on the bed. My mom’s house is freaking adorable. It looks like it belongs in Better Homes and Gardens. After the divorce, we kept our house in the burbs for a while, but once we went to college, Mom sold it and bought this place. It was a transition neighborhood at the time. Now the house is probably worth two times what it was nearly ten years ago. Lucky woman, I think to myself and unpack before deciding to take a nap.
“Zoe,” I hear my mom whisper. I pry open an eye to see that the sky is now a brilliant painting of pinks, oranges, reds, and purples.
“What time is it?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.
“Seven fifty, honey. I made dinner, but I didn’t want to wake you,” she says, rubbing my back like when I was a small child. There’s something oddly comforting about it, so I let her continue for a moment or two while she asks if I’ve found everything alright. I nod and let myself slowly wake while listening to her chat about her day.
“Well, you just let me know if you need anything, OK, sweetie?” she says as she finally stands up to leave.
“Thanks, Mom,” I say as I get up and head down to the kitchen. I look around the magazine-perfect décor that surrounds me. My mom has made spaghetti and meatballs and a salad. My mom’s a quarter Italian and her grandmother was one hell of a cook, and so was my grandmother for that matter. Unfortunately, my mom only inherited the gene for Italian cooking, she sucks at everything else, which makes this chef’s kitchen even more entertaining. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t used it in weeks as it looks immaculate, even for my anal-retentive mother.
I sit down at the breakfast bar and pour ice tea from a pitcher. I hear classical music coming from a built-in surround sound system in the house. I look behind me at my mom’s backyard garden, and I decide to take my dinner out there and enjoy the sunset. My mom’s house backs to a small courtyard of sorts in between the lots that make up the block. It has a few small dogwood and cherry trees and a few benches. Some neighbors go there to practice yoga on Sunday mornings, and some kids play there after school on a small swing set. A few of the row houses behind her house have gaps in between them that are used for parking, similar to my mom’s house. She is one of the lucky few that has a “driveway” of sorts that can hold two cars. While she doesn’t have a garage, her neighbor who she lets use the extra spot puts a tarp across the gap between their rooftop decks when they get snow storms, so the cars are somewhat protected from snow. I laughed the first time I saw it, but it does work.
I curl up in a big oversized outdoor chaise and watch the sun slowly go down as I sip ice tea and eat my spaghetti. Then I remember that I haven’t texted Cody today.
I pull my phone from my pocket and see I’ve missed three calls from him. I press redial, and he picks up on the first ring.
“Are you OK?” he says before I can speak.
“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I had a little bit of a crazy day here, and I just woke up.” I explain my bathroom troubles and that I’m at my mom’s house. He seems to like this idea better than me being on my own.
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I think you left a USB drive here,” I say to him.
“Huh?” he asks, clearly confused.
“Yeah, the other night, you had a bunch out on my table, and I found one on my chair after you left. I keep meaning to tell you but, well, you know how that goes.”
He laughs. “I think I have them all with me,” he says. “Maybe it was an extra one or something.”
“You want me to mail it to you?”
“No, no. Just keep it there, I’ll figure it out when I get back,” he says.
We chat for a bit about his project, and then I start yawning, so we wrap up and say goodnight. I hate admitting I miss him, but I miss him. The next day I walk to my therapist’s office. My mom was certain that I’d have horrible PTSD, but so far nothing other than the small panic blip when Cody left. My therapist now thinks I might still be in shock and that my brain injury might also play a role in why I’m not symptomatic. I tell her about my first week back at work and my bathroom troubles and Cody being in Ibague. She seems the most interested in my relationship with Cody. I shrug nonchalantly and say that we haven’t really had time to discuss our relationship specifics. Luckily, my time is up before she can pepper me with more questions. When I get back to my mom’s I get a call from work asking if I can come in to cover a four-hour shift for a colleague who got sick. I agree and head to the hospital.
Olivia is having a bad night, and I spend most of it with her. She leans her little head on my shoulder as she gets her treatment. My heart is heavy as I head back home wondering how much longer she can hold out and how her parents will ever cope with her loss. How will I cope with it? When I walk back into my mom’s house, my phone buzzes and I see a text from Cody.
Cody: I hope you are having a good night, princess! I have meetings this evening. I’ll call you if it’s not too late when I finish.
Zoe: OK.
I put my phone down and open the fridge door. My mom’s fridge looks like something from a commercial. It’s immaculate and all the food seems to be systematically arranged. I laugh to myself and grab an ice tea before heading out to the garden with my e-reader. I used to read all the time, but not as much since the crash. I find a book I haven’t finished and start reading. For the first time in two months, my head doesn’t throb, and I can focus on the screen. I’m lost in the romance fiction novel when I hear the door open behind me.
“I’m home,” my mom calls.
“OK,” I mumble as I keep reading. She shuts the door, and then I feel her sit down next to me.
“How are you, honey?” she asks as she runs a hand through my hair like she’s done my whole life.
“Good,” I say as I continue reading.
&
nbsp; “How was your day?”
“OK, did a four-hour shift,” I say, half paying attention.
I can feel her hand stop, and I lift my gaze to see her concern.
“I’m fine, Mom, really. Just tired a bit and wanting to decompress. Olivia had a bad day,” I explain. She nods.
“Sure, I have to grade some midterms, so I’ll order us in some food,” she says as she heads back to the kitchen.
“Great, thanks,” I say and focus back on my book. Eventually, I head upstairs. All this romance reading has got me feeling the need to “self-service.” I laugh at myself for having brought the “box” with me. Cody hasn’t seen it yet. I’m not sure how he hasn’t found it, it lives under my bed. Like most adult women I have purchased my share of dildos, vibrators, and a few others. But over time, and because at least three of my friends have hosted those ridiculous sex-toy parties, I have accumulated an entire box of toys. I haven’t needed them in a while thanks to Cody, but right now I’m feeling the need. I’m opening the box when I hear my phone buzzing. I look over and I see a video chat request from Cody. I hit accept. It’s nearly 11:00 p.m., but what the hell.
“Hey, princess,” Cody says. He looks like he’s sitting on his bed.
“Hi, you,” I answer.
“What are you doing?”
I smile wickedly, an idea popping into my head.
“Zoe,” he says curtly looking at me through the camera.
“Hold on, just a minute,” I say as I dash over to my drawer of night clothes. I didn’t really bring anything too great, but I do have some sexy underwear and, oh yeah, one of Cody’s button-down shirts that still smells like him that I have kept around while he is away. I put it on and only do up half the buttons.
I lock my door and walk back over to the bed.
“Zoe?”
“I’m right here,” I say. I prop my phone up on a charger so that he can see all of me.
“Zoe, what are you doing?” he asks suspiciously.
I slowly start to unbutton his shirt, revealing the sexy lingerie underneath. I watch him swallow and his eyes change from playful to intense. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
