He puts his hands over mine and tries to push me off of him. “I was at Lisa’s house. I’m sorry. I must have had my phone off.”
“You lying to me, bitch?” I yell, ripping my right hand from his grasp and hauling back like I’m going to punch him.
I’m going to punch him.
“Follow through!” Rebecca says.
I’m not looking at Liam or Lee. I’m seeing my before self. Cowering, self-hating, worthless Dani who thinks she deserves to be called a bitch. And I want to punch her lights out. I want to knock some sense into her.
“Arrgh!” I grunt, throwing all of my weight behind the movement.
A flash of daring goes off in Liam’s eyes and he meets me where I’m at, emotionally and physically. My fist connects with his palm. Thwack! And his fingers fold around mine. I lunge forward and he sways back, then we come together, our hands clasped like we’re arm wrestling. Our fists segue to palm against palm and we take a complete turn and then a half before we switch hands and spin again.
I move my face toward his, hissing “bitch” and he recoils, twisting away from me and falls forward onto his stomach, catching himself with his hands before putting them over his ears. I tower over him, shouting every derogatory name you can call a woman as I circle his body. Liam folds in on himself, pulling his knees to his chest, tucking his chin. I keep yelling, getting closer and closer to him, down on my knees, onto my belly, my voice getting lower, as I shrink into the fetal position.
Yeah, it’s a weird play.
“Fuck yes!” Rebecca says, crawling over to us and patting me on the back.
Liam and I unwind. He holds his hand out to me and I take it.
“Okay,” Rebecca says, getting back into her crouching position downstage, “let’s move on to the next scene. It’s a piece of shit.”
X
Liam helps me on with my coat and then hands me my backpack. “You look like you could fall asleep standing up,” he teases, flipping my hood up over my head.
“Tonight took a lot out of me. I’m glad I finally ‘got it,’ but I’m going to have to build up some serious stamina to be able to do that six shows a week for two weeks.”
Liam puts on his coat and we go up the stairs, turning off the lights like Rebecca asked. After keeping us two and a half hours longer than she was supposed to, Rebecca bailed the instant she realized how late it was, saying she’d have to hustle not to have to pay her babysitter for an overnighter.
“I wonder what kind of mother Rebecca is?” I entwine my fingers with Liam’s and we go out the side door of the building.
“Intense, I’m sure.”
“Get pissed, kid!” I yell in my best drill sergeant voice. “I want all of those Trader Joe’s organic O’s gone!”
Liam counters. “Your room looks like a shrine to patriarchy! Hot Wheels are for sexist assholes!”
I attempt a lame karate kick. “Ani DiFranco lullabies for the win!”
We’re laughing so hard Liam wobbles in his heels and rolls his ankle, falling down.
His giggles become mixed with whining as he rubs the top of his foot. “Damn, karma is a bitch.”
“Biiiiiiiiiitch,” I hiss at him, but then get my arm underneath his and help him up. “Can you walk, or should I try to give you a piggyback?”
“I think I can hobble it home if you’ll keep holding me up.”
We do a few test steps. It’s slow going, but we make it down the path from the theatre building to 13th Street. Where we are is quiet with not a lot of people around, but up ahead the bars are letting out.
“When we get home,” I say, “I’ll wrap your ankle. I’ve had to help Elizabeth a million times, she’s always banged up.”
Liam sighs. “Thanks. Sorry I’m such a dumbass. I know you don’t need to be tending to me when all you want to do is go to sleep.”
I wave his comment away. “Shut it. I don’t care. Besides, you helped me tonight. A lot. I never would’ve gotten that scene right if you hadn’t helped me open up.”
He chuckles. “There was something different about that last time. I have to say, it was exciting. I definitely see why people get the acting bug. We were totally living in it instead of just going through the motions.”
I kiss his cheek. “I love it that you say deep shit like that.”
He stops walking and cups my face with his hands, balancing on his uninjured foot. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I put my hands on his hips, steadying him and bring my mouth up to his.
“Check it out, dude. Two chicks kissing!” says some Neanderthal in a group of guys walking our way.
Liam smiles at me and laughs a little. “Guess my wig is working for me.” He kisses me again.
“Whoa, that chick’s voice is low.”
“That’s not a chick, Gary. It’s the tranny everyone’s been talking about.”
Liam grips my face tighter and stares into my eyes. I don’t dare look away.
“What the fuck?” My hood is pulled off my head and I feel hot breath on the back of my neck. “Sure you don’t want a real man?”
“Get the hell away from her,” Liam says through gritted teeth, trying to pull me behind him without putting weight on his injured ankle.
“He’s more of a real man than you’ll ever be,” I shout, getting in front of Liam instead. I get a good look at this guy and he’s not, like, pro wrestler gigantic, but he’s easily six inches taller than me and beefier than Liam. His four buddies seem to think our whole altercation is hilarious, snickering at their stupid friend behind their hands.
The one named Gary grabs his crotch. “Are you sure, baby? Mine’s too big to tuck like some fag.”
Liam elbows me out of the way, takes a stumbling step forward and pops Gary in the mouth with a loud crack!
Gary lifts his hand to his mouth and pulls it away, seeing blood. “You fucking bitch. I’m going to beat the living shit out of you.”
“Bring it, asshole.” Liam kicks his shoes off and shrugs out of his coat.
“Stop!” I say, jumping in front of Liam again, but then Gary’s buddies have me by the arms, dragging me backward. “Liam, you don’t have to do this!”
It’s like he comes to and realizes what’s going on with me. “Let go of her!” He starts toward us, but Gary takes advantage of Liam’s lack of focus and slugs him in the kidneys.
Liam doubles over and falls to his knees. Gary’s foot shoots out and catches Liam under the chin with a sickening crunch. I scream and one of Gary’s buddies covers my mouth with his hand. I toss my weight from side to side, trying to get loose, but I’m no match for four guys. I bite the fingers over my mouth and the guy pulls his hand away. I scream as loudly as I can before the hand is back, smacking down painfully, making me see stars and bloodying my nose.
Gary keeps kicking Liam and he’s not even trying to protect himself, his arms limp on the ground instead of covering his face.
“Hey! Stop that! Stop that! What’s going on?” Two men are running toward us, yelling. One of them has his cell phone out.
“Oh shit, dude,” the guy with his hand over my mouth says.
And then my head is yanked back by my hair and I’m forced to my knees. “Learn to keep your mouth shut, bitch.” One of them grabs my head on either side of my face and brings my forehead down onto his bony kneecap. The inky black sky rolls by in a blur as I fall backward onto the asphalt, lights out.
Chapter Twenty
I wake up on a stretcher. The red lights on the ambulance flashing onto the trees and buildings surrounding us make me dizzy. I turn my head to the side and vomit. An EMT, whose name tag says Nick, cleans me up quickly and then he and another EMT collapse the stretcher and slide me into the back of the ambulance.
“Liam?” I ask, my voice sounding funny in my ears.
“That your friend?” Nick asks.
“Yeah. Yesssss.” I can’t make my mouth work.
“He’s gone on ahead to the hospital.”
/>
I want to ask about his condition, but my head is throbbing and I’m struggling to find the words for the questions I want to ask.
The other EMT closes the doors to the back of the ambulance and then I hear her get in the front and start up the sirens.
“Do you know who did this to you?” Nick asks.
“Ggggghhhh.”
“Okay, don’t force it. Just concentrate on keeping your eyes open. We’ll be there soon.”
When we arrive at the hospital, they wheel me into a curtained room. A moment later, a petite female doctor comes in, looking at a clipboard.
“Hi, Danielle. I’m Dr. Manusmare.” She sets the clipboard down at the foot of the bed and leans over me. “I’m going to shine a light in your eyes. It will most likely hurt. Please try to keep your eyes open.” She holds a pen light over my face and flicks it on. She’s right, it hurts like a motherfucker. I scrunch my cheeks up and wince. Goddammit. A sharp pain shoots through my nose.
The doctor gingerly touches my nose with gloved hands, writes a couple things on the chart and then is smiling down at me again. “There’s a ballerina out in the waiting room that is freaking out asking to get back here, so I’m going to give the go ahead to let her visit.” She smiles. “You’ve got a concussion that will need to be monitored here through the night. I’ve ordered another round of mild painkillers for your IV. And, just to be sure, I’m going to order films of your nose. I’m certain it’s fractured, but let’s get some pictures and go from there.”
I grab her arm and focus on moving my mouth. “Li-am.”
She nods. “He’s upstairs in surgery. His jaw was broken, but he’ll be okay.” She pats my hand. “I’ll let you know when I find out more.”
Dr. Manusmare leaves and I lay there staring up at the white plaster-tiled ceiling. Someone has taped a photo of a kitten in a basket above me.
Fuck you, kitty.
A nurse comes in, hooks a bag to the pole beside my head, and then leaves. Mellow time.
The curtain pulls back and I look over, expecting to see Elizabeth, but instead I’m looking into the red-rimmed eyes of a woman I’ve known of for months and never met.
“Hey, I’m Ariana,” she says, smiling at me and dragging a chair over beside the bed.
“Hi,” I say, my voice thin.
“I was, um, still listed as Liam’s emergency contact from when he had pneumonia freshman year, so that’s why I’m here, in case you were wondering.” Her voice breaks and her eyes tear up. She looks away. “Sorry. I don’t want…” Her voice trails off. She takes a deep breath. “I knew something like this would happen eventually. I’ve been waiting to get the phone call since he started dating you. I knew he wouldn’t be with anyone new unless they were more accepting of his…whatever, fetish, preoccupation, than I was.”
I scrunch the sheets up in my fists. “It’s who he is,” I manage to get out.
She shakes her head slightly. “I could never see it that way. He withdrew and I sought out someone without as much baggage, someone like the Liam I fell for junior year.” She lays her hand over my fist, patting it. “I called his parents. They’ll be here first thing in the morning to take him home, get him back on track.”
I yank my hand away from hers. “No. He wouldn’t want that.”
Ariana narrows her eyes at me. “Do you realize where you are? What Liam being ‘who he is’ cost the both of you? I know you probably love him, he’s easy to love, but you have to let him go before he thinks he can really live his life dressing like a woman and not get the shit beaten out of him and whoever he’s with.”
“You should get the fuck out of here,” Elizabeth says from the opening in the curtain. She comes in and puts her hand on my foot. “You okay, Dani?”
My eyes fill with water and I nod through the fog of drugs.
Ariana stands and glares at Elizabeth. “I’m just trying to keep your friend from making a mistake.”
“Sure you’re not just pissed that Liam moved on from you? I’m not sure why you’re sticking around. Did I stutter? Get the fuck out of here.”
Ariana walks out of the room, holding her head high.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes and comes closer to the head of the bed. “Crap, Dani. You look like shit.”
I can feel the tears spill over the edge of my eyes, but not when they roll down my face. I’m all numbed up. “Thanks for sticking up for us.”
“Well, who is she to think she knows what’s best? She made him hide away and turned his family against him. She has nobody’s good intentions at heart besides her own.” Elizabeth surveys my face. “Your nose is for sure broken. You want to look?”
“Your obsession, not mine,” I say, knowing she’ll get my meaning. I guess when you have a beautiful ballerina body standing on the grossest feet ever, checking out your injuries is the equivalent of popping zits for the rest of us.
Elizabeth smiles. “That nail fell off again.”
X
By morning I’ve been x-rayed, taped, medicated, and cooed at by my parents over the phone. My dad was ready to catch the next flight out and bring me home, but I told him I wanted to get back to living my life. Don’t let the bastards get you down and all that. Surprisingly, Dad said he understood.
After I give my statement to the police, Dr. Manusmare deems me stable enough to go home. Elizabeth wheels me up to the third floor where Liam’s room is. My heart flutters thinking about how horrible he’s going to look, but I’m going to handle it no matter what. I know I will.
Elizabeth asks for directions to his room at the nurses’ station.
The nurse gives me the once over. “Were you the girl they brought in just after him?”
I nod. “Yes, I’m his girlfriend.”
She works to hide the surprise in her eyes, but I see a glimpse of it there. “Oh, okay, then I’m sure you’re anxious to see him. Follow me.”
We take a series of hallways until we’re at the back of the hospital where the rooms look out over the parking lot.
“He’s been in and out of consciousness,” Nurse Kikhia says as we go. “So he might not be very with it. He can’t speak, obviously, but I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”
“But he’s going to be okay?” Elizabeth asks.
“He’s out of the woods, but his jaw is wired shut. Liam will be here for a while.”
“He won’t get transferred to another hospital, though? Like one in Boise or anything?” Elizabeth is asking all the right questions.
“It’s possible. I’m sure the doctor would recommend that he not be transferred until he can be on home care.”
We arrive at his room and the butterflies in my stomach turn into pterodactyls. The nurse opens the door for us and Elizabeth wheels me into the room. She pulls the privacy curtain aside and then pushes me over beside the bed.
“I’ll wait outside, go get us some coffees or something. Be back in a bit.” Elizabeth leaves through the curtain and I hear the door snick closed.
Liam is asleep. His chest rises and falls the same way it always has, and a deluge of relief washes over me to see such a simple thing. His face is another story. It is a swollen, bruised, cut-up bloody mess held together by metal and bandages. I stand, bracing my weight on the arms of the wheelchair to get a better look at his eyes.
I will him to open them and look at me.
If this were a movie he’d open his eyes and look at me. But he doesn’t, he just goes on sleeping.
Sitting back down in the chair, I take his hand in mine. His knuckles are taped up too. At least he got in one good punch.
“I love you,” I whisper, fighting back another round of tears. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? No matter what anyone says, you didn’t bring this on yourself.”
I open the drawer on the tray table thing next to his bed and scrounge around for a piece of paper and a pen. I write down something I think will mean the most to him and fold the paper, tucking it into his hand.
The door o
pens behind me and the privacy curtain is pushed all the way to the side. An attractive, blond middle-aged woman in a pants suit strides over to the bed. She’s followed by a tall brunette man and a teenage girl who looks a hell of a lot like Liam dressed as Lee.
“Hi, I’m Dani. You must be Liam’s family,” I say, trying to wheel myself out of the way quickly to give them better access to the bed. I’m in no way skilled at using a wheelchair and I end up turning in a circle and clipping Liam’s dad in the shin.
“Here, let me help you,” he says, taking hold of the chair arms and pushing me to the foot of the bed. He holds out his hand to me while Liam’s mom and sister hover over Liam. “Dan Garrett. It’s a shame we’re meeting under such unfortunate circumstances.”
Liam’s mom snorts and shoots me a searing look. “Was he defending you? I don’t understand why anyone would do this to him. He certainly never had trouble like this when he was with Ariana.”
Liam’s sister turns her face to me, her eyes wide, and slightly shakes her head.
Shit. She never said a word. Liam’s parents don’t know anything about anything.
“Yeah, he was defending me. We were walking home from a rehearsal and—”
“Rehearsal? For what?” his mom says, looking from her daughter to her husband. “He wasn’t involved in all that silly costuming stuff again?”
“No,” I say, getting the feeling that maybe everyone knows everything, but they’re just in denial. “He and I have the leads in a play. Like I said, we were walking home—”
“Whose home?” Liam’s mom puts her hands on her hips and outright glares at me.
“Jesus, Mom, lay off and let her finish the story!” Liam’s sister holds her hand out to me. “I’m Brynn, by the way.”
“Hey.” I shake her hand quickly and continue on before Mrs. Garrett tries to interrupt me again. “Liam moved in with me about a month ago. He was spending all of his time at my house and I live closer to his job…it just seemed like a good idea. Anyway, this group of drunk guys approached us and said some, uh, rude things about me and Liam stuck up for me and punched one of the guys. I tried to intervene and help him, but the other guys in the group grabbed me and held me back while the main guy beat Liam up. Long story short, we ended up here.”
Crossing Page 14
