Suddenly, his brothers who were seated at a nearby table began whispering amongst themselves and shooting glances at a spot behind him. Filled with curiosity, Ryder turned around, his eyes nearly popping out of his head at the sight that greeted him.
He felt his heart give a hitch as a beautiful, dark haired woman came into view. Tess! At least it resembled his best friend, only a more bombshell version of the woman he knew. Dressed in a figure-flattering ice-blue dress, accented by a pair of black high heeled shoes, she was a knockout. She'd wound her long hair up into an elegant up do, adorned by a diamond hair-pin.
Shock roared through him. Although he was certain she'd been at the church, he hadn't gotten a glimpse of her in the throng of people. She looked amazing. It was only on the rarest of occasions he saw her in anything other than casual clothes or her work uniform. His throat felt as dry as sawdust. He opened his mouth to greet her as she made her way towards him, but not a sound came out. What was wrong with him? It wasn't the first time he'd ever laid eyes on a gorgeous woman.
Blue leaned in towards him and whispered, “You might want to pick your jaw up off the floor. And wipe the drool off your chin.”
Ryder shot his younger brother an icy glare. “I'm not drooling.”
Blue began chuckling, his signature laugh ringing in Ryder's ear. “Whatever you say.”
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion as Tess made her way towards them from across the room. A feeling of impatience raced through him. When she finally reached his side, she nodded in the direction of his brothers. “Hi guys. Ryder.” She swung her gaze in Blue's direction, pulling him towards her so she could plant a peck on his cheek. “Congratulations. Wishing the two of you the happiest of futures.”
His insides clenched at the sight of Tess kissing Blue. As much as he knew it was platonic, he felt a tightening in his gut. He placed his hand over his stomach, his mind whirling with confusion. What in the world was going on with him? The emotions he was battling were foreign to him. He wasn't a possessive guy, nor was he the type to feel territorial. So why all of sudden were these feelings roaring to life?
His brother Remy stood up from the table and moved towards where he was standing with Blue and Tess. With his cafe au lait colored skin and striking Creole features, he was known among all the brothers as the romantic. An internationally known artist, Remy had a silver tongue and a debonair flair. Fluent in several languages and a world traveler, he had a unique vibe about him. Remy pulled Tess in for a hug, and then spun her around in a twirling motion. “You look amazing, Tess. How about a spin on the dance floor?” The slight lilt of his voice only added to his debonair appeal.
“I'd be delighted to dance with you, Remy,” Tess said, with a coy glance in his direction. Ryder watched through a red haze as Remy placed his hand on the small of her back and whisked her off to the dance floor. His insides twisted painfully.
“You might want to take that scowl off your face,” Blue noted, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Ryder. “If looks could kill, Remy would be a goner.”
Ryder turned his gaze on Blue. “What are you talking about?”
Blue gestured towards Remy and Tess on the dance floor. “You seem awfully interested in what's going on between the two of them. Your face resembles a storm cloud.”
For whatever reason, he felt as if he were a grizzly bear being poked by a stick. “Come on! Tess is like a little sister to me. I don't want her falling for Remy and then—.”
Blue raised an eyebrow. “Then what? You won't be able to take seeing the two of them together?”
Ryder let out a groan. “You have a one-track mind. For the last time, Tess and I are friends. I'm just protecting her, that's all.”
Blue grinned at him, an over the top, pearly white grin. He patted him on the back. “Sure, Ry. But tell me one thing. Why have you been fisting your hands at your sides the entire time they've been dancing?” Ryder opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out. Whistling with satisfaction, Blue walked off, quickly making his way to Sarah's side. Ryder looked down at his hands. Blue was right! He unclenched his fists, slowly counting to ten to relieve some of the tension he was feeling.
Remy was his brother. He loved him dearly. Then why did he feel so bent out of shape about him dancing with Tess? Why did he feel as if something was being taken away from him? And why did it feel as if everyone else in the room was coupled up with someone they loved? All except him.
Suddenly his palms were slick with moisture and he felt a crowded sensation in his chest. Feeling the need for air, he quickly made his way to the hallway, then barreled his way through the entrance doors. The moment the crisp, spring breeze hit his face he began to feel better. Taking small gulps of the cool fresh air calmed his shattered nerves. He closed his eyes and began to breathe in and out, hoping to restore himself to a state of calm.
*
By the time her dance with Remy ended, Tess found herself searching the room for Ryder. Whenever he was in the room, her gaze seemed to instinctively drift towards him like a beacon in the dark of night. Things always felt more settled within her soul whenever he was nearby. At the moment she didn't see him anywhere, which concerned her. Now that she thought about it, he'd looked a little strained around the edges when she'd greeted him a little while ago. He hadn't even really said hello, which was odd for Ryder. His laid back, friendly personality was one of the things she most loved about him. Fondly nicknamed ‘the hero’ by all the other paramedics, Ryder was known for putting all the new employees at ease and for setting a professional tone on the job.
Fear trickled along her spine. What if the wedding was a setback for Ryder? What if it plummeted him back into a state of grief? What if it derailed all the progress he'd made?
No! Grief worked in stages, and Ryder was well past the point of falling over the edge. He was strong, way stronger than he realized. But where was he? Was he hiding away somewhere licking his wounds? Or had he simply gone outside to get some fresh air? An escape hatch from the joy and revelry surrounding him?
“You look worried.” Sarah, dressed in a vintage ivory wedding gown, stood before her looking radiant and beaming with joy. Tess reached out and hugged Sarah, murmuring congratulations as she did so.
Sarah's brows knit together. “Is it Ryder who's on your mind?”
Tess cast another glance around the room without catching a glimpse of Ryder. “I am a tad concerned about him. He's just disappeared into thin air.”
“I'm glad he has you to look after him. I know how much you care about him, Tess.”
Something in Sarah's tone was sending out a warning bell. For so long she'd protected her secret. The thought of someone finding out she was in love with Ryder terrified her.
“He's my best friend. Of course I care about him.” Even to her ears, her tone sounded defensive.
“And you love him.” Sarah's comment was straight and to the point. There was no mistaking her implication.
Heat stained her cheeks. “I-I don't know what you're talking about,” Tess fumbled.
Sarah reached for her hand and clasped it tightly. “Don't you? Take it from a woman who pined away for a man for four long years...I know love when I see it. Whenever you say his name, you have this look in your eye, this tender inflection in your voice.”
Panic slithered through her. “You haven't said anything to Ryder, have you? Or Blue?”
Sarah's expression radiated compassion. “Of course not! I wouldn't do that, Tess. The only reason I said anything is because I'm a Donahue now and I love Ryder very much. He's my brother from this day forward. I want him to be happy.”
“I do, too,” she said in a small voice. That's what she wanted more than anything in the world, even if it meant his happiness didn't lie with her.
“Then fight for him. When push comes to shove, sometimes we need to fight for our happily ever after.” She flashed Tess a stunning smile. “I know I fought for mine.” Sarah pumped her arm in the air. “Re
member. Donahue strong!”
And then she was gone, whisked away by Blue who'd come from behind and placed his arms around her middle and turned her towards him for a tender kiss. As she watched the loving exchange a kernel of hope began to grow inside her. Fight for him. Sarah would never have said those words to her unless she thought there was a chance for her and Ryder. And if there was one thing she'd always been, it was a fighter. She'd fought for every single thing she'd ever gotten in this world. Growing up as the daughter of a mentally-abusive mother had forced her to be a champion. She'd fought her way through school, fought her way out of her small, dead-end hometown, then fought to establish herself as a paramedic in an idyllic beach town. She'd forged a life for herself out of nothing more than fire and ash.
Why shouldn't she fight to win the heart of the man she loved?
Glancing around one last time without seeing Ryder, Tess walked towards the main hall, glancing around her as she went to make sure she hadn't missed him along the way. She pushed through the intricately carved wooden doors, raising her hand to shield her eyes from the brilliant rays of the sun. Squinting towards a figure in the distance, she made out Ryder's tall, muscular frame, as well as the shape of his head. He was standing at the edge of the property, an enclosed area overlooking the vast ocean view. Since The Cove restaurant sat perched on a high cliff, there was a long drop down to the water and beach below. Known as one of the most spectacular vistas in town, this spot offered a bird's eye view of Breeze Point. Ryder was standing behind the rail, his gaze fixed on a spot in the distance. Miles and miles of water stretched out for as far as the eye could see. The waves churned relentlessly against the shore, as they had for centuries.
“Here you are,” she said breathlessly as she walked up behind him. He didn't bother to turn around to greet her. His gave never swayed from the spot he was focusing on. She tugged at his sleeve, sucking in a deep breath when he turned towards her. The look on his face was one of pure pain.
“Ryder. What happened? Why are you out here?”
“Just came out to get a little fresh air. Go back inside and enjoy the party. I'm not really in a mood fit for company.”
A burst of anger flared inside her. Company? She wasn't just anybody. She was his closest friend. They saved lives together. They cried on each other's shoulders. Even though she felt terribly for his pain, she wasn't about to give him a pass. “You need to get yourself inside. Pronto,” she ordered in a slightly raised voice.
He turned towards her, his mouth set in grim lines. “Excuse me?”
“I'm pretty sure I didn't stutter. Today is a special day for your brother. And Sarah. Matter of fact, for the whole family. It's the long-awaited wedding of one of the Donahue sons. Your father made it through the worst of his illness. And he came out on the other side. You have a lot to be thankful for. So instead of moping around out here, you need to be inside celebrating with your family.”
Ryder let out a harsh laugh. “Your sensitivity is overwhelming.”
“I have been sensitive. Everyone has. For more than four years. And sometimes, on days like today, you need to suck it up.” A shocked silence brewed between the two of them. She'd never spoken to him like this before. Despite their tight friendship she'd never dared to tell him how to make his way through life in the aftermath of Lena's death. It had always been a touchy issue, one she'd been too afraid to broach with him. But now, with her feelings for him about to explode like a burst balloon, she was raring to challenge him. Fight for him. Sarah's words were still resounding in her ears like a rallying cry. Allowing him to burrow into his solitude wasn't helping him move forward. Although he'd gotten through the worst of it, he still needed to reach the finish line.
Ryder moved towards her, quickly swallowing up the space between them. The look of fierceness etched on his face startled her. He reached out and grasped her by the wrists, his touch gentle but firm. She felt herself being tugged towards him. “Suck it up? Did you seriously just say that?” A tremor danced angrily along his jaw. His jaw moved in a grinding motion.
Had she gone too far? Regardless of whether there was a sliver of a chance for her and Ryder, she would always appreciate and value his friendship. Had she just crossed a line that might ruin things forever between them?
She deliberately softened her voice. “Yes, I said it. And if you don't stop moping around I'm going to say it again.” She pointed toward the vista surrounding them. “You're out here by yourself when you could be inside with the people you love. And who love you.”
“I just needed a minute by myself.” He seemed to be pleading with her with his eyes. But for what? Understanding? To leave him alone?
She took the final step that remained between them, peering up into his gorgeous blue eyes that mimicked the brilliant color of the sky. If she was brave she could reach up on her tip toes and place a kiss on his supremely kissable lips. She would probably stun the life out of him. For a moment she just stood still and studied the sheer beauty of his face. Ryder's face was masculine and strong. His bone structure lent him a rugged look. Not being able to help herself, she reached out and ran her finger along his jawline. His eyes widened at the unexpected contact. “That time has passed. We left you alone...for days, weeks, then months. And finally, we dragged you out of that dreary place you inhabited where all you wanted to do was be alone.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “We lost you, Ry. In every sense of the word, we lost you. And in addition to losing Lena you walked away from your family, your job, your faith...and me.”
He let out a ragged sigh, one that sounded as if it emanated from the depths of his soul. “I couldn't face everything. Most days I couldn't even breathe normally. It felt like the walls were crashing down around me. It was too much.”
“I know,” she said softly. “But after a while you began to live again. And I don't know what exactly you think you're doing, but there is no way I'm going to stand around and watch you wallow again and lose yourself in the process.”
“I'm not wallowing,” he snapped, his blue eyes like glaciers. “Seeing Blue and Sarah together makes me feel alone.”
All of sudden it was as if a bright light was shining down on her. Ryder wasn't wallowing in his grief. He was struggling with envy. Of what Blue and Sarah had. He'd left the venue in order to make peace with those feelings or to brood or vent or stare out across the churning sea. She knew what it felt like to feel alone in the world and to feel envy towards those in her orbit who had it all. There had been so many moments in her life she'd felt abandoned, unloved and forsaken. And through her faith she'd learned to lean on God during those times. Although the Donahues had raised Ryder and his brothers to believe and trust in the Lord, he'd lost his way after losing Lena. He'd once told her that after praying so hard for Lena, to no avail, he'd lost his faith in one fell swoop.
Tears stung her eyes. “Ryder, you're not alone. I promise you. You could never be alone when so many people love you.” When I love you, she wanted to say. When I would give anything to be the focus of your world. I'd make sure you'd never feel alone again.
He reached out and touched one of the tendrils by the side of her face. “Tess.” Their gazes locked and held. The way her name slid out of his mouth sent shivers racing down her back. He lowered his head toward her, his eyes never straying from her face. Riveted by the way his head was lowering towards her, she continued to look up at him, her lips parted in expectation of a kiss. Finally, after all this time, it was happening.
“Guys! Get back in here! They're about to cut the cake!” Mac's gruff voice shattered the silence, causing them both to back away from one another in surprise. Tess glanced over her shoulder, spotting Mac standing in the doorway of The Cove, waving them back into the restaurant. Mac, the most physically-intimidating of the Donahue brothers, wasn't taking no for an answer.
“Cake,” she said, feeling a bit dazed by the almost-kiss.
Ryder frowned at her, his handsome face looking slightly troubled. Afra
id of what he might say, she scooted off, walking quickly towards the restaurant's entrance. Had she imagined the almost-kiss? Was it something she so desperately wanted to happen that she'd imagined Ryder's head leaning down towards hers? No way! It had been real. Well, almost real. Ryder had been within inches of laying a kiss on her willing lips. Although a trickle of excitement was pulsing through her veins, she couldn't help but wonder if their almost kiss might have been a product of her imagination.
*
The almost-kiss with Tess was weighing heavily on Ryder's mind as he dug into a piece of strawberry shortcake wedding cake. He couldn't take his eyes off Tess, which was proving to be something of a problem. The moment they'd headed back into the reception hall, Brian had come out of nowhere and promptly put him on the spot about an introduction to Tess. Not wanting to be petty, he'd made the introductions and watched with discomfort as Brian shamelessly flirted with Tess, who'd been way more receptive to him than he'd expected.
With a groan of impatience, he plunked his cake plate onto the table, earning him a curious glance from Wyatt. Of all his brothers, Wyatt happened to be the most happy-go-lucky. He was the one most likely to play a practical joke and to have a laid-back air. Wyatt was known in the family as the heartbreaker for all the women he'd loved and left. As a professional athlete who'd been sidelined by an injury, it was only a matter of time, Ryder realized, before Wyatt found a woman to distract him from his woes. Sometimes he envied his brother, who seemed to never wear his heart on his sleeve or feel too much for the women in his life. In fact, he couldn't ever remember Wyatt being in love.
Forget it! He didn't envy Wyatt a single thing. Loving Lena had been the single best thing he'd ever done in his life. And if he could ever have another love like that, he would move Heaven and Earth to make it happen. Life wasn't meant to be lived in solitude. And he knew it wasn't his style to go from one woman to the next. One day Wyatt would discover the error of his ways. And if he ever fell head over heels, Ryder wanted to be around to watch it all play out.
Still the One Page 3
