“You’ll be able to use your lower arm that way as long as you go easy with it. I’ll come back and check on you Monday afternoon to see how you’re doing. Until then I’m going to suggest no PT till sometime next week. It’ll only irritate things more. I think that covers it. Any questions?” she asks, looking back and forth between us.
Nik just stares at her, so I jump in. “Is there a different pain killer he can take than the hydro? He’s thrown up twice since he started taking it. That’s way too hard on him with the amount of pain he’s already in, he needs something else.”
“Sure, I’ll write him out some scripts for a few different ones, and you can see what helps him the most. I’ll add in Zofran, too, just in case. Get him settled, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen. See you in a few days, pretty boy. Behave yourself,” she says to Nik, patting his thigh.
“I will,” he answers her, still sounding unsure.
I watch as Dr. Schultz pulls on Cash’s shirt to encourage him to follow her as she mutters something about love birds, and probably being back here before nightfall. Whatever she said must have been funny, because Cash’s laughter echoes in from the hallway.
FIRE AND THE FLOOD
~
NIK
ELLIE SITS DOWN BESIDE ME after the strange little doctor leaves. “You okay?” she asks, rubbing my stomach slowly.
“Yeah, I think so. I could have sworn I was in some crazy dream for a while there,” I tell her, trying to ignore how soft her hand is, and how good it feels running over my skin.
She laughs a little. “I bet you did. I was wide awake, and had to wonder about that, too. She’s a hoot for sure.”
“Yeah, she is. This sounds terrible, but she reminds me of one of those old apple head dolls Mom had when I was little. They were funny, but scary as hell at the same time,” I laugh, but even to my ears it sounds strained.
She’s slowly killing me with each pass she makes over my abs. It’s the first time she’s touched me like this, so familiar and unreserved, besides washing me in the shower earlier anyway. As sex charged as that was, she was still getting a job done, and was nervous as hell.
The way she’s touching me now is different. I can’t really explain it, but it’s like she’s at ease now, or touching me makes her at ease. I don’t think she’s even aware she’s doing it. Whatever it means, I like it, and I don’t want her to stop. I just have to work to keep my dick from letting her know how much he’s enjoying it, too.
“Do you need anything, or do you want to sleep some more?” She smiles, her hand finally stilling. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed.
“I need to go to the bathroom. If you think Cash is still here, I can get him to help me so you can talk to the doctor,” I suggest.
“I’m sure he is. I can go get him,” she says, rubbing me again. I make the mistake of looking down at her hand. “Oh, sorry,” she apologizes, and starts to pull away. “I didn’t—”
“Don’t,” I say, gently grabbing her hand, and putting it back on my stomach, holding mine over it. “I want you to touch me. I like it. This is me giving you permission. You can touch me anywhere you want, anytime you want,” I tell her quietly, my eyes locked on hers.
Her face flushes, and she bites into her bottom lip as she stares back at me. I wait for her to bolt off the bed, but she surprises me, leaning so close to me her lips are against my left cheek. “You may regret that,” she whispers as her hand reaches for the towel that’s over my waist.
My heart, lungs, and brain decide to take a hiatus. I blame them for not being able to stop her when she stands up, and walks away dragging the towel with her. She stops right after she walks out the door, and leans her head back into the room. I watch dumbfounded as her eyes trail slowly up my body from my feet all the way to my face. “I’ll be back later, pretty boy,” she winks before disappearing, her soft laughter floating into my room.
Fuck. Me.
Maybe I am dreaming, or it could be the morphine messing with me, because the Ellie from before my nap is NOT the Ellie that just teased me like a sexy little minx. I hope it wasn’t a dream, because I want her to do it again. And again, and again.
“What are you grinning at dumbass?” Cash asks as he walks in, then stops in his tracks when he realizes I’m naked and half hard. I was at half-mast the second her warm breath whispered into my ear. “So that’s where the towel came from, huh?” he smirks.
Shit.
I hurry and cover myself as best I can with my hand. “What? Uh, it’s the pain meds. They make me loopy, you know that.” I tell him, trying to pretend I didn’t hear the second question.
“Yeah, I sure do. Funny thing is, Ellie had the same grin on her face when she came to get me just now, and a rosy blush to boot.” I blink at him in mock confusion. He responds by batting his eyelashes at me, smiling sweet as sugar. “You two are cute as pie,” he teases me with a horrible impression of a woman’s voice.
I worry for a second my eyes may get stuck to the back of my skull. I performed an eye roll worthy of my sister’s standards. “Shut up, and find me some clothes, please. I gotta take a piss and we’re not going across the hall unless I’m dressed. Two more people than I want have seen me naked today. God knows who’s gonna show up next to get their cheap thrill,” I grumble.
He laughs and goes to dig around in the dresser. “You don’t mind giving Ellie a thrill,” he mumbles under his breath. I choose to ignore that statement. He finds a pair of boxers and some shorts, and brings them over to me. “Can you do this yourself, or do you need help?” he asks, screwing his face up.
“Sorry man, but you’re gonna have to help. I’ll keep junior covered while you pull them up. Put the boxers inside the shorts and you can do them both at once, save us both some humiliation,” I tell him.
He groans, and I apologize again, but we get through the awkwardness and get me dressed, then up and into the wheelchair without causing me too much pain. I look down the hall at Ellie and the doctor, who are sitting at the dining room table, as we head to the bathroom. Ellie looks up and smiles, then waves her fingers at me adorably. I can’t help but smile right back.
Cash parks the wheelchair close to the toilet, and sets the brake before helping me up. I know Dr. Schultz told me not be standing up, but it’s too much work to sit down to take a leak. I do it the old-fashioned way, just very carefully balanced on one leg. Once I’m back in the chair, Cash rolls me over to the sink to wash my hands.
“You can take me to the living room. Dr. Schultz wanted to wrap my arm up. I might as well get it over with before I go back to bed,” I say while I dry my hands.
“I will, but we need to talk first,” he says steering me quickly back into the bedroom, and shutting the door behind us.
“What the hell?” I chuckle up at him.
“What happened in the shower?” he whispers while his eyebrows go to his hairline.
I roll my eyes again. “Are you serious? Are we teenage girls now? I’m not going to disrespect her like that.”
“Well, I already know you kissed, so you can do the telling now.” He gets a devilish smirk. “All of us know something happened.”
“How the hell do you know that?” I ask, my brows pinching together hard.
“I asked. She told me.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, before sitting down on the bed.
“Bullshit. Not unless you hounded her until she cracked,” I accuse. He doesn’t deny it. “I’m gonna kick your ass as soon as I’m able,” I growl at him. If he really upset her I may do it now. I’ll wind up back in the hospital, but maybe if I do it right he will, too.
He huffs out a laugh. “That’s what I told her you’d do.”
“Cash, you need to lay off. I mean it,” I warn him in a tone that brooks no argument, while pointing my finger at him. “I love her.” A slow smile spreads across his face. I’m about ready to jump out of this chair, and knock it the hell off him.
“‘Bout time you admitted it.”
“What?” I scowl hard.
“Nik, you’ve been in love with her since you laid eyes on her. I knew it when you woke up in the hospital by the way you looked at her, and how badly you wanted her around. She loves you, too, even if she’s not ready to say so,” he tells me.
My anger evaporates.
He thinks she loves me.
“Since when did you become the love guru?” I smirk at him.
He laughs. “I’m not by any stretch. You know how I feel about it, but you two are screaming it so loud it’s hard to miss. I never believed in that ‘love at first sight’ crap, but it’s hard not to after seeing the two of you together. If you could, I think y’all would sit and stare at each other with goofy grins on your faces forever,” he laughs. His smile softens, and from the way he’s looking at me I know he means what he’s about to say. “I’m happy for you, bro. She’s an amazing woman. You’re a lucky guy, and she’s just as lucky.”
“Thanks, man,” I tell him with a big smile, but then an undesirable thought crosses my mind and wipes it away. “Do you really think she loves me? What if it’s only physical?”
He shakes his head making my heart lurch.
Two seconds ago, he said she loved me, now he doesn’t think she does?
“Who’s acting like a girl now?” he laughs. “She loves you, Nik. Can’t you see the way she looks at you? I know you’re hurt, but you’re not blind. I think she fell for you as fast as you did her. I’m sure there’s lust involved, but I’m guessing y’all have only kissed a few times so far, right?” he asks, entirely too interested in the answer.
“We’ve had one real kiss so far, okay? In the shower, this morning. Other than that, it’s just been pecks and some cuddling.”
He grins like a Cheshire cat. “Well then, you can’t say it’s all lust, can you?”
I shrug. “I don’t want to, but I’m the first man she’s spent any time around since her husband died. Maybe I’m her first fling, you know?”
“Quit thinking like that. You can’t possibly be the first man she’s been around in the last two years. She stayed at that place in Atlanta for a long time. I’m sure there were men there. She didn’t fall instantly in love with them or me, or Scott, or even Hank, and we spent more time with her than you did those first few days at the hospital,” he says trying to convince me. “And don’t you think if she only wanted to sleep with you she would have left by now? It’s not like you’re able to do much fucking with the shape you’re in.”
The last part pisses me off. I have no plans to fuck her, as he so crudely put it. Ellie isn’t just a fuck to me, she’s so much more. If and when the time comes I’ll make love to her, for hours if she’ll let me. The first part of his little speech does make me feel a bit better, but I would love to hear her say it instead of him. I groan, closing my eyes and runninh my hand through my hair.
“I just… I’ve never been so knotted up in my life.” If I could, I’d be pacing the floor I’m so worked up all of a sudden, but I can’t so I’ll vomit my feelings to my best bud instead. “For the first time in my life I actually care how a woman feels about me, and not how I can convince her to get in my bed. I love Ellie. I want her to love me back, but she’s so afraid of risking her heart again. I get that, I really do, but it makes me afraid that no matter how much I love her it won’t be enough for her to take that jump. Even if she loves me, I’m afraid she won’t let herself feel it, that she’ll run to protect her heart. If I could guarantee her nothing would ever happen to me I would, but there’s no way to do that,” I sigh loudly. When I look at Cash he just shrugs.
“Sorry, bro. Wish I knew what to tell ya, but I don’t. Give her time, I guess?”
“Yeah, there isn’t much else I can do.” I look down at the floor, shaking my head, my lips pulling up at the corners of their own accord. “It’s torture, but it’s the sweetest torture I’ve ever experienced. It’s like being in a fire and a flood at the same time, or being lost and found all at once, but I already know she’s it for me. I didn’t realize it until she came along, but I’ve been waiting for it to happen and a woman like her only comes around once in a lifetime. I’d be an idiot to walk away from her now. There’s really no way I can, she’s got my heart so wrapped up in her I’ll never get untangled anyway.”
~
The last several days have went by like a slug stuck in syrup as my mom would’ve said. I think it’s Tuesday or maybe Wednesday.
Fuck, I don’t know, my days are so screwed up.
Whatever day it is, I doubt it will go by any faster than the last ones have. Other than spending so much time on my ass it hasn’t been bad though. I’ve had her beautiful face to look at almost constantly.
How on earth could that be bad?
She has hardly left my side since our shower, which we haven’t tried again. It’s been sponge baths only. They have been somewhat less arousing than the shower was, but not much. We’ve tried to make them quick and painless for each other.
She’s been sleeping in my bed at night since then, too, but not without the dozen pillows she insists should be between us so she doesn’t kick my leg during the night. Waking up next to her every morning is amazing. I could stare at her forever she’s so beautiful with the morning light laying on her skin. She looks like something out of a dream in those early hours, so soft and peaceful. This morning is no different.
I’m awake before her again. I’ve been doing so much resting I really don’t need much sleep. She, on the other hand, has been working her ass off taking care of me, so she always seems to be tired. I hate it, but no matter how much I fuss at her to sit down and rest, she rarely ever listens. I just lay here and watch her sleep knowing she’s getting the rest she needs.
I know I’ve gotten some of the best sleep of my life the last few nights. I think it’s probably because she’s beside me. I’m sure Dr. Schultz would say it’s the meds she gave me. She’d be wrong.
There’s something about laying down watching and listening to the woman you love get ready for bed then having her beside you all night.
I’ve never done it before Ellie, never spent the whole night at a woman’s house, or let them stay all night at mine. I’m so thankful I never did, because it makes these nights with her even more perfect. Listening to her brush her teeth, watching her brush her hair, and feeling the bed move as she climbs in next to me is its own special drug.
She likes to talk before she goes to sleep, too. After giving me a quick good night kiss she’ll turn off the light then settle beside me. We’ll find each other’s hands to hold, and talk about any and everything thing until we fall asleep. She’s turned me into such a sap, but I don’t care. Usually she’ll talk about whatever we’ve done that day and plan to do the next, or talk about the show we’ve been binge watching on Netflix.
She didn’t know about the wonder of Netflix before Leia told her about it the other day on the phone. She’d called to check on me, and let us know she wouldn’t make it ‘til next weekend. We started with Lost because it was one of the few I hadn’t watched before. She let me pick because she hasn’t watched TV in years. “I was too busy before, and then after I didn’t care,” she’d told me quietly.
She breaks my heart at least a dozen times a day.
I’ve learned a few more things about her as we lay in the dark talking, too. She seems less afraid to talk to me when she can’t see my face. Her birthday is May 24th, her favorite color is blue, she’s never broken a bone, and she never went to prom either.
I plan on fixing that as soon as I’m healed up. I’ll rent out a whole place for us if I have to, hire a band and decorator, the whole nine yards. I’m sure Leia will help with the dress. Keeping it a surprise will be the hard part.
She’s told me all about her aunt, and what little she remembers about her parents and sister. Also about how hard school was for her, because all the kids treated her differently after they died, and because she never had all the new things the other kids did bec
ause her aunt couldn’t afford them. I think I may be able to forgive her friends Anna and Brandon for basically giving up on her after hearing about all the times they didn’t.
I told her about all my great memories of Mom and Dad. Growing up with Leia for a sister, and all the shit Cash and I got into during high school. She laughed her ass off when I told her about the party we had at Cash’s house our junior year when his parents were out of town.
It was only supposed to be us and a couple of other guys, but just like in the movies about a hundred and fifty kids showed up. Some college guy brought tequila as a gift for us for throwing the party. Cash and I had never had more than a beer or two before that night. Needless to say, we wound up drunk off our asses dancing around in our underwear while we serenaded the crowd with our version of ‘I’m Too Sexy’. The cops showed up about the time the tequila decided it didn’t want to be in our stomachs anymore.
We were told it took a good hour before the cops loaded us up, because we were puking so much they didn’t want us in their car. My dad made us stay in jail overnight, but bailed us out the next morning then he made us clean every inch of Cash’s house and yard while we were still hung over. It took two days and nights to get it mostly back to normal. We kept having to stop and puke, then waste time cleaning that up before we could get back to the original mess. We were both grounded for a month after that.
Hearing Ellie laugh like she did when I told her made it worth it. Her laugh is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. If I hadn’t already loved her before, I would’ve been a hopeless case after hearing it.
Only one of our peaceful nights has been fractured so far. The night before last she had another nightmare. I woke up hearing her crying pitifully for that Lucas guy again, but then she quickly began to scream for me. It hurt like a bitch, but I threw as many of the pillows as I could reach off the bed then pulled her to me. She only fought me for a second before melting against my side. She cried for a good twenty minutes after that. I held her close, and tried my best to soothe her. Thankfully, she didn’t bolt this time, and let me help her through it.
Save Me Page 22
