by Aaron Hicks
Heathyr’s face had turned a fierce shade of red, “I’ve been told the story a dozen times about how you helped these two fight off the spider wolves, then later the whole thing with the pack of centaurs.” A pack of four half horse half men had started to raid the outlying homes. Uktesh and Laurilli had been hired by the mayor to stop them, and they’d finally caught up to them at Tylor’s house. Heathyr added, “Your skills with the sword would probably disarm me just as quickly with a sword as with your words.” Tylor smiled, but before he could comment Heathyr continued, “of course my husband is one of the best fighters in Sinai and he does have a temper.”
“Madam you cut me to the quick! Surely one as quick witted as you would never be caught by the likes of me. However, the hour is early, but the trip is long, it’s a two day trip, with plenty of time to continue this conversation, shall we head out?”
“Yes lets!” said Larut.
“Larut! I didn’t see your mountainous form there, care to make any more wagers?” said Uktesh excitedly.
Larut’s face lost some color, “I should’ve learned my lesson after the arrows, or after the river jump, but after the tree climb I’m done betting against you. Which competitions do you want to be in so I can choose something else.”
Uktesh smiled happily, “Sword, archery, unarmed, and any weapon.”
“Dang boy that only leaves pole weapons, axe, and jousting for the rest of us!”
“Wait they do pole weapon and axe too!” Uktesh said in mock excitement.
“Boy, you can only sign up for four things, it’s a rule,” said Larut.
“I hadn’t heard that,” said Tylor.
“I’m making it a rule,” roared Larut, “I got to win one, just to get back to even after my ‘friendly’ bets with Uktesh.”
“Just bet on me whenever I fight, that’s what we’re going to do.”
“That does seem like the safe bet.”
They travelled in silence for a while, before Tylor asked, “How’s your hero for hire job going? I keep hearing some of the stuff you guys have done, but not how much money you made from them. I know you cut me in on the centaur bounty, but that was a town bounty and was bound to be better priced than some of the ones you get from random people.”
“Oh it’s going great. We have more money than we know what to do with really. We live simply, so we never really need much money. Plus with some of the jobs we’ve done, we’ve bargained into the price some of the things we want, or like in the White Bridge job, we came by weapons and horses instead of having to buy them.”
“I’ve been curious, how much did you make for that minotaur job?”
“That was a very tough one that Uktesh didn’t allow me to help out and I wasn’t even allowed to watch, he said it was because it was so dangerous. Uktesh said it was half man, half bull, but all dense muscle and nearly impenetrable hide! It hadn’t gone down easily, even though Uktesh said the actual fight wasn’t too dangerous, just exhausting. It had been mating with some of the local female cows and local women, though both female species rarely survived the encounter. I heard that the women that did survive all but two of them were too traumatized by it and ended their lives. The mayor had waited till the human body count was at nine, counting the suicides, before he asked us to take the bounty. Once Uktesh found out what it’d been doing, he told me in no uncertain terms I had to stay home and lock the doors. Uktesh had found it quick enough, it didn’t hide its trail in the slightest, and to be honest I don’t know if a four hundred pound eight feet tall bull could.”
“His first encounter didn’t go so well, but after he found that his sword was barely effective, even in perfect form, he ran to get something bigger. Twelve gold pieces and forty minutes later he caught up to it as it was chasing a little girl who was terrified and clearly too panicked to run towards him, even though he shouted out to the girl. The bull was quickly catching up to the girl, each step caused the ground to shake, and naked as it was Uktesh said he couldn’t imagine how any woman could survive an encounter with the beast. Uktesh Rushed, then Soared after the two of them, and caught up to them right as the minotaur caught and lifted the girl.”
“Thinking about the little girl and not killing the beast at this point, Uktesh stopped the beast the best and quickest way he could think of, he used the perfect Cat Pounces a two footed version of the one footed Serpent Strikes, and slashed his sword into the space between its legs.” The men cringed as they continued to listen, “it threw the girl away and reached down to grasp it’s manhood in pain. ‘Even a vulnerable spot like that, even with a perfect strike it didn’t cut it off, though I did cut it, and from the blood pretty badly’ Uktesh had thought about that strike, and the pain in his wrists that it caused.”
“Uktesh quickly threw his sword to the girl and yelled, ‘if it comes at you plant that in the ground and point the sharp end at the beast!’ He then Rushed back towards the minotaur that was clearly enraged, but Uktesh had come prepared this time, and moved out of Bull Rushes Down into the imperfect spinning low attack of Leaf Falls and with a crunch the twenty pound mace he’d bought shattered the left kneecap, and with a second pained cry the minotaur fell to the ground holding both his manhood and now his destroyed kneecap. Uktesh quickly moved into a perfect adaptation of Woodman’s Work, and slammed the mace into the back of its skull.”
“This is an attack that had cut deep into our tree stump out back, but it only managed to enrage the minotaur. Uktesh had cursed then in rage,” and the men laughed at her impassioned embellishment, “and quickly attacked in another adaptation of an axe attack Crescent Moon, and hit it in the back of it knee, but didn’t hear the crunch of its kneecap, so he again adapted an axe attack, the imperfect Matador Sways and this time he heard the crunch and moan of pain that followed. Uktesh quickly attacked again with Woodman’s Work on the back of its skull and heard a dull crack.”
She gestured slowly with her hands, “It struggled to rise and took a swipe at Uktesh’s legs, that he jumped back from just in time with an ironic, balanced form Dances with Bull. He flowed into a two handed imperfect mace attack, one of the few he’d mastered,” she said.
Tylor interrupted, “How many times did you tell her this story?”
She ignored the question and the nine fingers Uktesh raised, “And he swung his mace horizontally into the back of its head again knocking it to the ground. He spun into another perfect Woodman’s Work, missed, and took off its left horn. ‘Damn it!’ he shouted in rage! He leapt back and avoided another swipe with Dances with Bull and attacked again, and again until it stopped moving and the grass was red with its blood. It had continued to fight even after Uktesh had clearly cracked its skull open. Uktesh grabbed the broken horn and saw that the girl had run off, how long ago he didn’t know, but he was glad she’d left his sword. He cleaned it off, and put it back in its sheath and walked to the mayors’ office and collected the forty gold pieces bounty and told the mayor where he could find the rest of the body, and left the horn on the mayors’ desk.”
“He had then walked home and when he had tried to open the jar of healing cream we’d bought from Mother Esrun, his blistered bloody hands kept slipping on the lid. So I lovingly opened it and gently massaged it into his palms. He’d told me about the hunt while I worked, and I could tell that it felt so good that he tried to stretch out the story. But before he knew it, it was morning and he must’ve sat up from the couch, pushing the blanket, that I’d thoughtfully provided, off of him.” They all applauded her ability to weave story.
“Well Tylor that one was really hard, and it’d already killed nine women, and six of the people who went after it to stop it, though I didn’t learn that detail until after I’d stopped it. But if you don’t count that I had to spend twelve gold pieces buying that big ass mace, then the bounty was forty gold pieces.
Tylor whistled appreciatively, “That’s a nice chunk of change, even if you had to buy a mace. Hell you could probably sell it off as a minotaur
killing mace.” Uktesh caught Heathyr and Li’s glance at each other out of the corner of his eye. Tylor, never slow caught the glance as well, “or I guess you already did that, how much you get for it?”
Uktesh grinned and said, “Li does all the bartering now, she’s much better at it than me.”
Tylor blanched, “Better? How much better than you?” he moved his horse slightly away from her as if she now terrified him just to be near her.
“Uktesh was literally the only person who was able to hurt it, and that counts not only the six bounty hunters that died trying, but also the twenty that tried and failed to stop it. Uktesh, as you know, is a boy not yet old enough to fight in a war by two years, so clearly he couldn’t kill the minotaur without a special weapon, beyond the normal twenty pound mace.”
Tylor nodded his head in agreement, but quickly shook his head as if to dispel a trance and said, “Dang girl you don’t need to sell it to me, just tell me the price.”
“I was setting the mood, now I’ll set the tone. He, the buyer insinuated that with a magical mace, he too could’ve killed the minotaur and collected the bounty, and probably many more bounties like it. He continued that in, ‘a real man’s hands,’ the job would’ve been done quicker with less loss of life, ignoring that we didn’t even know about the job until the mayor told us that day.”
“So you were pissed and added an extra twenty percent for asshole fee?”
“We” she said and emphasized the word, “added an extra hundred percent.”
Now the entire group joined in the laughter, and Larut said, “Don’t let me get on your bad side miss, I ain’t got the money for it no more.”
“So you made him pay twenty four gold pieces for it?”
“No, that’s just silly, a magical mace would easily go for that without the asshole tax, no we charged him,” she paused for effect and even though he knew the price Uktesh found that he leaned in closer to hear her, “fifty gold pieces.”
The stunned silence held until Tylor asked, “Who has that kind of money lying around?”
“Well we do now, but it was our esteemed mayor’s brother Dekan’s father, Sorn. We’ve heard he plans on using it to win this year’s tournament, in the any weapon category.”
“Good, that guy is an ass. Every time they come in to my shop they act like I should be grateful they’re coming to me instead of Gerwuin, even though I know I sell a superior product for less money. So you guys earned eighty eight gold coins for one job. That’s impressive.”
“Well,” Li started, “it would’ve been that except that the mayor hired four men to move the body, but they were only able to carry it about one hundred yards before they dropped it and broke one of their feet and quit. So the mayor tried to tell us that part of the job was disposing of the body.”
“But he didn’t know that Li was our barterer now, or that she’s ruthless.”
Laurilli smiled and dimpled prettily, but said, “I told him that Laurilli and Uktesh’s Hero for Hire,”
“Uktesh and Laurilli’s,” Uktesh interrupted.
“Would be more than willing to dispose of the body,” she continued as if Uktesh hadn’t spoken, “but for a two gold fee, to which he agreed.”
“How’d you move the body when four adults couldn’t?”
“Well they didn’t have horses. We tied three ropes around it and then had the horses drag it back to our house.”
“Very impressive you two, I heard that you stopped it from,” he paused and looked at the two women, “making relations with the Tanners girl.”
“Yep, he and his brother were so thankful that they had us drag that carcass over to their place and they made us two coats out of its hide, and per our request, tanned them black, which we’re wearing now. I heard they had to use the miller’s saw to cut the skin to make the coats,” she said and turned so they could all see the impressive coat.
Larut grunted, “Tanner girl’s nine?”
“Eight I think,” said Tylor.
He bowed his head to Uktesh and said, “Good job boy. I know that family and that girl. It’d be a damned shame if something that awful happen to that happy little girl.”
“So ninety golds, and two light weight, nearly impenetrable coats, that are probably worth another ninety golds a piece,” he thought about it, “damn I’m in the wrong business.”
They all laughed and were silent for the next few miles each wrapped in a private thought. Uktesh wondered what he would’ve done, or what he would do if something like that happened to Laurilli. She caught his stare, and smiled at him, he smiled back, and knew it wouldn’t be pretty and would most likely haunt him for years. It was too awful to think about further though, so he contented himself with the thought about what he would do if he met Dekan or Baloce during the tournament.
“So how much you three bring to bet with?” asked Tylor his mind always on the topic of money.
“Well we heard there was a five gold maximum betting cap, until the finals so we each have five gold pieces and we’ll just keep betting until we’re either out of money or they’re out of fights.”
“What if you lose it all on the first bet?”
“We’re betting on Uktesh first, so that probably won’t happen, and the odds are going to be in the favor of whoever he’s fighting the first match he’s in, cause they’ll have no clue.”
“I think I’m going to follow suit with you guys, and whatever you bet on, I’m going to bet on,” said Larut.
“Yeah,” said Myrtin.
“Woo hoo! We’re all gonna be rich after this!” shouted Esolc.
“What are you fools waiting for!” shouted Tylor, caught up in the fever of a sure bet, “let’s gallop there faster!”
Tylor laughed before he pushed his horse into a trot, then soon galloped down the road he needed to shout warnings to the few people on the road. Uktesh looked at Heathyr and laughed to see Heathyr gallop after Tylor. Uktesh and Li kicked their horses in to a trot, then gallop at the same times. They quickly caught up and the seven of them held up the pace for nearly a half hour before they slowed to a walk, then jumped down to walk their horses. The time passed too quickly and peacefully. Tylor called a halt as the sun began to dip into the horizon, and Uktesh knew they had about thirty minutes of light left to set up camp. Uktesh hadn’t had much practice with how to set up tents, but he got the tent he, Heathyr, and Laurilli were going to share up with plenty of light to start a fire. He helped collect rocks for the fire pit and then twigs, branches, and bark for the fire.
They sat around the fire once it was going, Heathyr volunteered to cook a communal meal, while the rest helped out as they could and told stories to pass the time. Once the food was eaten, the bowls and spoons clean, and the fire doused, Uktesh yawned and said his goodnights to Tylor and his friends. He crawled into the tent and saw Heathyr sleeping already in the corner so he took the other corner and a few moments later heard Laurilli crawl into the tent. He had made few purchases with his money that weren’t for the business, but one of the first was this tent. The second, third, fourth, and fifth were all easily transportable, two comfortable pallets one of which was for Laurilli, which Heathyr currently occupied, two comfortable blankets that were also easily transportable, four comfortable pillows, and rope long enough to go around the tent sprayed with minotaur blood, because few things in this world mess with a minotaur, much less mess with something, or someone who can make a minotaur bleed.
Laurilli looked over to the pallet she was supposed to share with Heathyr and Uktesh slid over so there was enough room on his pallet. She debated about it for long enough that Uktesh thought she was just going to sleep on the tent floor, but she ended her internal debate with a shrug and moved lay down next to him, “Don’t get any funny ideas, ‘boyfriend,’ unless you want to get downgraded to ‘friend.’”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, however a semi comical thought did pass through my mind, does that count?”
“Depends, what is this semi
comical thought that is not a funny idea?”
“Well, you were supposed to share a pallet with your mom.”
“Yep, I’m tracking with you so far,” she said as she lay on the pallet with him.
“She’s asleep and you can’t do that.”
“Yep, though I don’t see the semi comical thought, yet.”
“Well it gets cold this time of the year, and you were supposed to share a blanket and pillows with her too weren’t you?”
“I see, the comedy is becoming apparent,” she said dryly, and Uktesh didn’t know if he’d said something wrong, but knew he had to push on.
“So since you’re sharing my pallet, which I’m happy to share,” he lifted his blanket and let her underneath.
He heard her mutter, “I’m sure you are.”
“And since it gets so cold at night, I’m willing to share my blanket, however, I simply can’t sleep without two pillows under my head, so you see I’ve come up with a semi comical thought or some might call it a solution to your lack of pillow issue.”
“And that would be?”
“We could try to find someone willing to sell you a pillow.”
“Doubtful, this time of night, in the middle of nowhere.”
“We could try to take one from your sleeping mother.”
“Scary to wake the beast, is there a third option?”
“There is,” Uktesh paused not sure if he should continue the playful banter, because playful as he sounded he knew this could break their relationship if he said something wrong, even though she was playing along.
“Are you going to enlighten me to the third option?”
“In the spirit of you getting a good nights’ sleep I would allow you to rest your head on my chest.”
“That’s your third option?”
“Well it was that, or you get the pillows and I rest my head on your,” he cut off with a squeak, “the ground.”
“Well the ground doesn’t sound comfortable for you, the store seems doubtful, and since I don’t want to poke a sleeping bear or steal a pillow from a sleeping demon, I guess we’re stuck with your third option. What is your plausible cover story for my mother in the morning?”
