Heartfire: A Second Chance Romance

by Joanna Blake

  I smelled it first. My sense of smell had been heightened since I got pregnant and it was still crazy strong. I sniffed the air, setting down the salt and pepper shakers I'd just refilled.

  "Something is burning."

  I glanced at the customer sitting at the table beside me. He was young and well-dressed, with expensive looking glasses. A writer. We called him Hemmingway.

  He came here with his laptop and drank coffee after coffee. But he never stayed when it was busy, or took up space in my section. He always seemed to end up in my section.

  And he tipped well.

  Really, really well.

  I didn't even know his real name but Janine still teased me about him having a crush on me. It was funny but I felt older than the guy. He was probably twenty-five, and out of college. I was only twenty. But I felt years past the days of hanging out in a cafe.

  I guess motherhood would do that to a person.

  "I think there's a fire."

  I nodded absentmindedly and asked if he needed a refill. He shook his head and smiled. I was sure he wanted to talk. But something was bothering me.

  Something felt... wrong.

  I went back inside and started wiping down the counter.

  "I think it's clean."

  Janine smiled at me from behind the counter. It was slow at this time in the afternoon. The lunch crowd was gone. The dinner crowd wouldn't be here for an hour or two.

  It was just the writers and coffee drinkers.

  And us waitresses.

  "You wiped that down about ten minutes ago."

  "Sorry."

  "Take a load off. Have a snack."

  I sat at the counter and rested my head on my arms. I was tired. Drew had kept me up last night making out on the sofa. I didn't go back into the bedroom with him, but I hadn't wanted him to go home yet either.

  So we'd sat awkwardly on the sofa after Kyle was bedded down for the night.

  It wasn't long before Drew had scooted close to me. Then his arm had casually slid around my shoulders. I'd looked at him nervously as he got closer and closer...

  We'd fooled around like teenagers for hours. Not that I'd done any kissing as a teen. My brothers had been way too strict, and I'd been way too busy. But now... we'd rolled around on that sofa, touching each other until we were rocking against each other frantically.

  We couldn't take off our clothes. We weren't alone. And there was no place for us to be alone with the baby sleeping in the spare bedroom I was using.

  So we'd stopped. Drew had groaned in frustration as he rested his forehead on mine.

  "Kennedy... we need to talk about... an arrangement..."

  "An arrangement?"

  "Yeah. Some way we can be together. A living arrangement."

  "You want to... move in together?"

  It was the least romantic way to ask me. He was lying on top of me, sexually frustrated. But it was tempting all the same.

  "Drew... I can't."

  He sat up, looking furious.

  "I have Kyle to look after. I can't move in with you just to satisfy your sexual urges."

  "That's not what-"

  Drew had growled at me. Actually growled. He'd raked his hands through his hair and shook his head as if he was arguing with himself.

  "We'll talk about this later."

  Then he stood and pulled me against him. I could feel his arousal. He might be angry, but he was hard as a rock.

  "Kennedy..."

  He looked like he was going to say something. Instead, he kissed me. Hard and fast.

  "Goodnight."

  Alarms snapped me back to the present. Bells were ringing like crazy. I ran to the window, looking down the block towards the sound.

  The firetruck was pulling out.

  Drew was working today. He was on that truck. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to keep him safe.

  I worried about him every time he was on the job. But this felt different. I had a strange twist of fear in my belly that made my palms sweat and my mouth dry.

  From the smell of that fire, it was a big one.

  Chapter Twenty

  Drew

  I stared up at the warehouse as smoke billowed out of the windows. We had no idea of knowing what was in there. There could be solvents or chemicals... even paint thinner. I shuddered, thinking of the gallery fire on 22nd street. The basement below the drug store and gallery behind it... no one had known about the chemicals they stored down there. Kaboom. Just like that, the floor went out. So many guys gone in one split second with no chance of rescue. The worst loss of life in the FDNY history, other than 9/11.

  This could be like that, or worse. This wasn't a new fire. There had been guys here fighting it all day. They had finally called in backup units when they couldn't get it under control.

  The four story building was abandoned, with developers chomping at the bit no doubt. This sort of building was being turned into condos at a record pace all over Brooklyn, especially along the water. But none of that mattered. If a hundred rich assholes or homeless drug addicts or artist squatters were stuck in there, we would do our best to save them.

  We didn't leave anybody behind.

  In fact, any of the guys I knew would risk their lives if there was a snowballs chance in hell of dragging someoneo out, dead or alive.

  There was already a company in there, and I could tell they'd been in there too long. Worse than that, they were losing the fight against the beast. And a fire this size, it was a beast. There was a moment sometimes when the fire seemed to look back at you.

  I shivered. There was a reason firemen were supersticious. We'd all seen things that defied logic and reality.

  But now we needed to clear the building. Get them out. The fire had pretty much cut the building in half- if they were above it, they'd have to come out a few at a time and get lowered by crane.

  If they were lucky. If not, the floor would collapse under them. Or the roof would cave in.

  Basically, they were toast.

  "Which company?"

  I had a bad feeling even before the Chief told me. It was Dave's company. I saw Laney's face in my mind. She was trying to get pregnant. It had been a couple of years and they'd finally decided to try IVF. They wanted a kid so bad. But if the building came down first...

  They'd never get a chance. We wouldn't get to hang out every Sunday. Or grab a brew. Or tease each other about our beer bellies as we got older.

  My brother was in there. And if I didn't save him, he wasn't coming out again.

  "Drew- don't get any crazy ideas. It might already be too late."

  "With all due respect sir, fuck that."

  He pointed at me, his face redder than the truck.

  "You do not go in until I give the order! And once inside, you will not pull any stunts. I mean it Drew!"

  I didn't say anything. I was geared up, holding my helmet on my hip. I watched the Chief in conference with the ladder company Chief who had called for backup. Then I walked towards the building.

  "Drew-"

  Lowe stood in front of me.

  "You aren't going in there without me."

  I snarled and shoved him out of the way.

  "Just wait- they are going to give the order! For God's sake Drew, wait!"

  I shook him off but he jumped in front of me.

  "You have a kid now, Drew! Don't go in there blind! We are going to figure out the best way in and go- we'll get him back. If he's alive we'll get him!"

  I could feel the heat of the blaze from where we stood, toe to toe. A puddle of water near the entrance was letting off steam. I gave a curt nod and we turned back.

  Lowe was right. The Chief was calling the guys over. We were going in.

  "I'm going first."

  The Chief gave me a hard look and then sighed.

  "Fine. Drew's on point. This is search and rescue only. Forget putting it out. Use the hose to keep your exit clear."

  I nodded. The building was past the point of
no return. The guys inside had been told to make their way out twenty minutes ago.

  No one had heard from them since.

  I told myself that didn't mean they were gone as I ran into the burning building. I ran up the stairs, barely able to see, the guys behind me with the hose. They sprayed the stairs as we went. Hopefully it would be enough to keep the stairs standing long enough for us to get back out again.

  I cursed as I saw the flames above us. Dave was trapped up there on one of the top floors. We would have to go back out and take the crane. We would lose valuable minutes.

  Unless...

  I came to the third floor landing and paused. The floor was already missing in spots. But the stairs going up were still there. They were metal and looked solid. If I took a running jump...

  I turned to see Lowe right behind me. Sweat and soot covered his face. He shook his head at me.

  "It's too late man. I'm sorry."

  I grabbed his shoulder.

  "Go out and get the crane ready. If I don't come back, look after the kid for me. And Kennedy."

  I grinned.

  "But don't look too hard."

  "Drew- whatever you are thinking- don't do it."

  I smiled at him as I took a few steps back. He looked relieved. Until I started running.

  The last thing I thought of as I leapt through the wall of fire was Kennedy. That I should have married her already. For the kid's sake if nothing else.

  If I'd married her, at least she'd get my benefits.

  Kennedy

  Janine had the scanner on in the backroom. She wouldn't let me listen to it though. She was beside herself. This fire was off the charts. It was a block sized factory and it was on the verge of coming down.

  Two of her brothers were there.

  I was so worried about Drew I couldn't imagine how she must feel, knowing that both of them were in danger. Or worse.

  We barely made eye contact as we went through the motions of keeping the cafe running. But barely. I had no idea if half my orders got to the right tables or not.

  No, our minds and hearts were in the warehouse district.

  The enormous building had been burning all day. It was all over the local news. They didn't know if it was a chemical fire or what had started it. They didn't know if anyone had been inside.

  But we did know that they were still inside. The fire fighters. Men who we knew and loved. I knew they weren't out because Janine wouldn't tell me anything yet. If they were okay, she wouldn't hide that from me.

  Drew was in there. Maybe hurt. Maybe...

  I was standing in the window of the cafe when the fire truck drove down the block a few hours later. I was out the door and running with Kyle in my arms before they'd even pulled inside.

  I heard footsteps behind me and knew it was Janine.

  I turned around to see her pushing the empty stroller at a rapid clip. I exhaled and started running again. Laney was running from the bar in the other direction.

  We all converged on the firehouse at once. Other family members were already waiting. I watched as the guys spilled out of the truck.

  No Drew.

  And no Lowe either.

  The Chief took one look at us and held up his hands.

  "He's alive. But he's injured. We don't know how bad."

  I felt the air leave my body. The Chief looked upset. Not just a little either. I knew Drew saw him as a father figure after his father passed. In a way, he'd been lucky to have someone.

  And now the Chief was looking like he'd nearly lost a son.

  "Dave is okay. A little banged up but okay. Drew saved his life. Almost killed himself doing it. Lowe too."

  He shook his head wearily and pulled off his helmet.

  "Both of them are lucky to be alive."

  I leaned against Janine without realizing I was doing it. The pavement loomed closer as I tilted slightly. She grabbed my shoulders, helping me put Kyle into his stroller.

  "He needs you to be strong, honey."

  I nodded.

  Laney slung her arm around my waist and the three of us shared a brief hug. Janine stroked my hair, tears in her eyes.

  "You two go. I'll close up and follow. I'll get someone to watch the baby."

  I thanked her and texted Jamie to come and get Kyle. I told her about Lowe too. Laney wiped her eyes, saying she would be right behind us. She had to close up and call Paul.

  The Chief bent down and smiled at Kyle.

  "Is this little Drew Junior?"

  I nodded, wiping tears away from my eyes. I had to get to the hospital. I had to get to Drew. He needed to know how I felt about him. I needed to tell him that I didn't care about what he'd done before. He was mine now. And I was his.

  I'd been a fool all along.

  The Chief stood and gestured to his car. The guys were already piling into various vehicles to go and see their injured brothers.

  "Come on honey, I'll drive you down there."

  I smiled tremulously, still reeling. Still worrying. I had no idea what had happened or how bad it was. I was afraid to ask. Afraid I didn't have the right to ask.

  "Thank you."

  We rode in silence for a few minutes before the Chief spoke.

  "I kinda hoped with you back in the picture he'd stop being so reckless. But with his brother in there, nothing could stop him."

  "What do you mean?"

  He gave me a look that said that he saw everything. That he knew everything. He gave off an air of omnipotence. Basically, the Chief was like God in the firehouse.

  "That boy has scared me worse than any other guy I've got on the squad. Not just today. Pretty much every day since the first girl he ever loved disappeared on him."

  I had to fight back tears at what he was saying. What it meant.

  "He's been out of control. He barely got out with his life today, or dozens of times this past year. I almost wanted him off my company because it was so hard to watch. I knew that sooner or later, he was going to buy it."

  Drew was in danger as a firefighter. I knew that. It was part of the job. But what the Chief was saying... That he deliberately took risks... That it was because of me... I'd never forgive myself for it.

  And there was no way I could fix it either.

  "Now he has a kid and a woman, that should stop. Just don't run out on him again."

  I started crying then. There was no stopping it. Drew was hurt. And now the Chief was saying that it wasn't the first time he could have died.

  All because of me.

  Drew had needlessly risked himself over and over again because of me.

  "Drew's a good guy. He just doesn't know it yet. He needs the right kind of woman to show him."

  He looked at me.

  "He needs permanence. He needs someone who sticks around."

  I hugged myself, remembering how he'd said he wanted to screw me out of his system. He'd been much sweeter since that night, but that might still be his intention for all I knew. I might be just waiting for him to leave me.

  I was just begging for scraps. But I owed it to him to stay. Especially now.

  None of that changed how I felt right now. None of it changed how much I loved him.

  I closed my eyes and started to pray.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Drew

  I was floating in darkness. I heard people talking in hushed tones. My sister's voice... Lowe's... and I could have sworn I heard Kennedy speaking softly.

  I knew I was dreaming then. Kennedy was gone. She'd left town. Left me.

  No.

  I reached out for her but no one was there. Then I felt something cool on my skin. It cut through the pain I'd somehow forgotten was there. I drifted away again.

  I opened my eyes to a dark room. There was a soft beeping beside me that made me turn my head. I groaned at the dizzy feeling that caused. A machine was by my bed.

  No. Not my bed. A hospital bed.

  The fire.

  Dave.

  Dav
e got out. We got him out. Me and Lowe...

  Lowe.

  "Lowe!"

  My voice was just a thin rasp as I called out. I tried to sit up as the memories came crashing back to me. Lowe had risked his ass following me into the upper reaches of the burning building. My brother and his crew had been up there, trying to break through a wall of burning bricks to get to a fallen brother.

  Some had been overwhelmed by smoke and heat, collapsing where they stood. Others were still swinging their axes, and wielding the fire hose. But it had gotten cut off, making them run out of water. They were trapped by fire on one side and the thick interior walls of the building on the other. I could hear them though.

  We couldn't get in from the sides. We had to find another way. So I made a hole from the floor below.

  Lowe had helped, each of us standing on stacked boxes, swinging our axes precariously. It had taken much longer than I'd thought, but we'd gotten through.

  It had all been worth it when I saw my little brother's soot covered face appear above me.

  One by one we had lowered the guys down, then found a room with a relatively sturdy floor and smashed a window. In minutes we were lowering the guys out onto a crane.

  Until the roof caved in on us.

  Dave was out by then thankfully. All his guys too. Lowe and I were the last up there.

  We grinned at each other, knowing we had done the impossible.

  One second, cool fresh air was on our faces. The next, crumbling hot wood was crashing down on us. I'd tried to shove Lowe into the window frame but it had backfired, pushing me further into the room. He'd come with me, trying to use his back to shield us both. Then we were scrambling out of the way as the bigger pieces started to fall all around us.

  We'd dragged each other out that window by the skin of our teeth.

  I didn't remember much after that.

  A figure appeared in the door. My mother... no. It was my sister. Janine. She looked so much like Ma it made my heart twist. She was smiling tearfully as she leaned over the bed.

  "Shhh... you're okay. You're okay."

  "Lowe? Is he-"

  "He's alive."

  Janine smiled at me.

  "Looks about like you."