Heartfire: A Second Chance Romance

by Joanna Blake

  Not since James.

  I looked up from the salt and pepper shakers I was refilling. Casey, the manager, had just flicked the lights. James was staring at me again.

  Fuck me, was he ever going to give up?

  For some crazy reason, I felt like the answer was no. And for some crazy reason I liked that idea.

  I liked it a lot. Crap. I liked him. There was no use denying it any longer.

  He was winning.

  I knew in my heart he was going to hurt me. It was inevitable. Especially for a man whore like him.

  But it didn't change a damn thing.

  A warm feeling pooled in my stomach as I walked over to him. He was my last table. I swallowed nervously. Realizing how I felt had changed everything suddenly. Now I had something to lose.

  Him.

  "Can I get you anything else?"

  He was watching me carefully. Not leering for once. Just looking at me.

  Seeing me.

  We both knew in that moment that something had changed. I'd stopped fighting. He'd stopped chasing. It was starting.

  Whatever 'it' was.

  He shook his head slowly. I nodded and put the check down. I started to walk away and stopped.

  "You don't have to leave me a crazy tip."

  He smiled at me.

  "I want to."

  I shook my head.

  "You shouldn't. You need the money too."

  He raised an eyebrow at me and put a hundred dollar bill on the table. Then he added another one. My eyes bulged out of my head.

  Was he trying to buy me? Was it pity?

  Fuck if I'd let him pity me!

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  "Take that back."

  He crossed his arms.

  "No."

  I stared at him, ignoring the money. I was about to cry. Again.

  Why did I let him get to me?

  Because he could...

  "I'm not for sale Fitz!"

  He grabbed me as I walked away, pulling me against him.

  "I know that. I'm just compensating for taking up your table all night."

  I looked up at him. I nodded shakily. Then I laughed.

  "Okay fine. But half that."

  He smiled sensuously, nodding at me.

  "Okay."

  I stepped away, grabbing one of the hundreds and the check.

  "It's still too much."

  He shrugged and sat down again. He waited while I cleaned up. I didn't say a word. Neither did he.

  But we both knew he was taking me home tonight.

  Beyond that, I was afraid to think about anything else that might happen too closely.

  Casey paid me and James walked out with me. He clicked his keys and his car unlocked. He was parked right out front. He slipped his arm around me.

  It felt natural. More than natural.

  It felt right.

  "Come on."

  I hesitated. I was starting to think I shouldn't go with him. I was bone tired. My judgement was off. And I knew what he was after.

  I wasn't ready to give in completely.

  "I'm tired Jimmy..."

  He laughed.

  "No one has called me that since I was ten."

  He squeezed my shoulders.

  "I just want to take you home. No more walking okay?"

  I glanced at him. Had he been following me home the past few nights? A warm feeling filled me when I realized he must have been.

  I nodded. I was too exhausted to argue.

  He drove me home in silence. I think neither one of us wanted to mess things up. It was a comfortable silence though. It was weird, feeling like all this was so new, even though I'd known him forever.

  Not like this though.

  Never like this.

  He pulled over in front of my apartment. He had been following me. I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. He shrugged.

  "I didn't like the idea of you walking home late at night."

  "Why?"

  "I feel protective of you."

  I rolled my eyes.

  "Because I'm like a sister to you?"

  He leaned forward, his knuckles softly grazing my cheek.

  "No. Definitely not."

  His eyes were on my lips. I knew he was going to kiss me. I realized I wanted him to.

  So help me. I did.

  He leaned closer, his breath intermingling with mine. He smelled good. Clean. Like pine and something indefinable... but masculine.

  Very, very masculine.

  His lips brushed mine. Once. Twice.

  They were soft. Unbelievably soft.

  "Jesus, Nadine..."

  Then he enfolded me in his big arms, hauling me up against his massive chest. I felt safe. Protected. Desired.

  All at the same time.

  He moaned and nudged my lips open. The moment I opened my mouth, the kiss went crazy. His tongue darted inside, stroking mine, twirling against it.

  I heard a breathy sigh. It was me.

  I made that noise.

  EEEEEEOOOOWWWWWW!

  I froze, not sure what I was hearing for a second. Then I did. It was a cat. And someone was hurting it.

  Honeysuckle.

  I was out of the car in two seconds flat, running for the alleyway. There were a group of boys. They were throwing things at the cat. I felt nauseous when I realized they had tied something to her tail.

  A brick.

  What the fuck was wrong with people?

  I threw myself at them, screaming like a banshee. Later, I would barely remember it. But at the moment, everything was crystal clear.

  Face. Punched.

  Knee. Kicked.

  Elbow. Thrown.

  Then James was there, pulling me off them. Telling them to fuck off. Calling them a bunch of little shits. I was in a daze, struggling to get free. But his hands were like vices. He held me until I stopped struggling.

  I forced myself to calm down, breathing slow and deep.

  He let me go and I knelt by the furry lump on the pavement. Tenderly, I untied the string that held the brick to her damaged tail. It was bent, hanging loosely. Her fur was matted with blood. She mewled at me pathetically and the tears started to fall.

  "Hey, it's okay."

  "No, it's not! They hurt her!"

  "Is that your cat?"

  I shrugged.

  "Kind of. I feed her. We aren't allowed to have pets."

  I stared up at James, my tears flowing freely.

  "She's hurt. I need to get her to the vet."

  He was staring at me, looking concerned.

  Then he nodded.

  "Okay. Let me get something to wrap her in."

  He was back in two minutes. He helped me lift the cat gently, placing her in a jacket he'd gotten from his car. Then we went back to the car.

  I cried all the way to the emergency animal hospital on the other side of the city.

  By the time we got there, Honeysuckle was barely moving.

  Chapter Six

  James

  I stared down at the girl sleeping on my shoulder. Even exhausted and tearstained, she was beautiful. And she was hurting.

  Badly.

  Her reaction to the cat had taken me off guard to be sure. But not in a bad way. I was in awe of her.

  She was braver than anyone I'd ever met.

  And more soft hearted than she let on.

  Not to mention the best damn kisser I'd met in my life. And I'd kissed a lot of girls. A lot, a lot.

  Too many probably.

  I stroked my hand over the smoothness of her hair. Even after a long day and night of slinging ribs and beer, she smelled incredible. Almost too good. I loved the way she was curled up against me in the animal hospital's waiting room.

  She trusted me, even if she wouldn't admit it.

  I closed my eyes, trying to conjure up images of the scrappy little girl she'd been. Her parents had fought a lot. Lots of drinking and loud music. But that was the norm for our part of Chic
ago.

  Still, there must have been something else. Something that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

  Something bad enough to make her run away.

  "Where have you been hiding, my little Deanie?"

  She didn't answer my softly spoken question, just curled into my shoulder a little more. I smiled and kissed her head. She was letting me in. That's what I wanted.

  What I was starting to realize was that this wasn't just a fling. I could not just tag her and move on. Fuck, for the first time in my life, I didn't want to.

  Besides, I would beat anybody's ass who tried to date her for, basically, the rest of her life.

  My eyes snapped open when I realized the direction my thoughts were heading.

  What the fuck was I thinking about anyway? Was I falling for a girl I hadn't even tagged yet? That scared the hell out of me, no lie.

  Snap out of it Fitzgerald!

  I shook my head. Better to stay focused on what mattered: my next game, and getting into Deanie's pants. I wanted her in my bed. End of story.

  How long I kept her there was a different matter altogether.

  It was another half an hour before the Veterinarian came out. Gently, I shook Deanie awake.

  "Wake up, sweetie."

  She blinked, her eyes soft and out of focus. I couldn't help thinking about waking her up for a different reason... middle of the night sex came to mind. And morning sex. And afternoon sex. My cock twitched in my pants.

  There was no more awkward place on Earth than an animal hospital to get a God Damn boner.

  Well, church might be more awkward. But barely.

  "So, the bad news is she got banged up pretty bad. Broken tail. But she's strong. Most street cats we see are malnourished. And she wasn't. So she's ahead of the game."

  Nadine squeezed my hand. I hadn't even noticed that our fingers were intertwined. I squeezed hers back.

  "So she's okay?"

  "It's touch and go. But we think she'll be alright. Are you the owner?"

  Nadine stood up and nodded.

  "I- I am. I mean I feed her sometimes. She's a good girl."

  The vet nodded.

  "We've got her on an IV drip. We need to keep her for a few more days. I would keep her inside from now on though."

  Nadine nodded and I felt my heart twist. I had a strong suspicion she wouldn't be able to pay for this. I grabbed the business card and pocketed it.

  I was going to take care of it for her.

  She wouldn't like that but I didn't care.

  It was my money and my decision.

  I drove her home in silence. Dawn was lighting up the sky as I pulled in front of her apartment. Only now could I see how shitty the place really was.

  It made her old house in south side look like a palace. I turned toward her, brushing her hair away from her face. She looked tired. But still achingly beautiful.

  "Are you working tomorrow night?"

  "No. It's my night off."

  "Can I see you?"

  She glanced at me, as if she'd forgotten who I was. What I was trying to be to her. She smiled ruefully, shaking her head.

  "I need to look for a new place to live."

  She leaned forward and pecked my lips.

  "One that allows cats."

  "Can you afford another place, Deanie?"

  "I will figure something out. And James?"

  I stared into those incredible eyes of hers, feeling lost.

  "Thank you."

  Nadine

  I fell into my bed fully clothed. It was almost 5 AM. That gave me exactly one hour to sleep. Of course, the instant my head hit the pillow all I could see was Honeysuckle with her poor, broken tail.

  And James.

  I could see him. The way he'd looked at me, held me, kissed me.

  I touched my lips.

  I could feel him too.

  I lay there, dozing on and off but never falling completely asleep. My body was far too awake, almost jangling with nerves.

  No, not nerves.

  Desire.

  He'd lit me up somehow. Woken me. I wasn't sure I liked it. I could feel everything. Instead of being numb and angry all the time, I was awake and hurting.

  And wanting.

  I got up before my alarm went off, deciding to take the time to try and cover the bags under my eyes with concealer. After about two seconds, I realized it was going to take a mountain of foundation and gave up. I didn't like putting a lot of stuff on my face.

  I had very little time to get to the cafeteria so I hustled. Out of habit I reached for a can of cat food. Then I remembered.

  Honeysuckle. Those boys. Her tail.

  Outrage and worry consumed me instantly. How could someone do something like that to such a sweet, brave little creature? And then reality came crashing down on me.

  Fuck me.

  I needed to find a new place to live and enough money to cover the veterinarian bills. They said she'd be there for a few days. That gave me time to figure things out.

  Not a lot but I could do it.

  I had to. I had no choice. The cat's life and mine both hung in the balance.

  Focus Nadine!

  I rushed out the door and hightailed it to campus. As I ran, my tight control over my thoughts broke loose. I'd been trying to avoid thinking about last night and everything that had happened.

  Or what it all meant.

  The rest of the night came flooding back to me, washing away everything else.

  James. Over tipping. Driving me home. Kissing me.

  The way he'd stayed with me all night at the animal hospital.

  I shook my head, trying to dispel the romantic ideas that were starting to take root. I was not a silly little girl anymore. And James was definitely not a knight in shining armor!

  Though... he'd kind of acted like one last night hadn't he?

  Acted like he cared.

  Like I was more than another piece of ass to him.

  God knows he'd had his share.

  What would he do when he found out about me? That I didn't like to be touched. That I'd never let anyone touch me. Not since...

  I felt bile rise in my throat, pushing the thought aside.

  I was just exhausted, that's all. That's why everything felt so intense. After my shift I would go to the student center and check the housing board. Then I'd go to the library and shut my eyes for a few minutes...

  I worked in a daze, loading and unloading the dishwasher. The steam washed over me, wilting me like a flower. But I just kept going. What choice did I have?

  By the time I got to the student center I was wobbly on my feet. At least I didn't have to work tonight. I could rest.

  My phone pinged.

  It was a text. From James. My heart leapt at the sight of it.

  Want to get something to eat before class?

  My stomach clenched. I was hungry. Starving, really. But I needed to sit down. Maybe study. Besides, I looked like hell.

  It was a very strange sensation to realize that I cared what he thought. That I wanted him to think I was pretty. Even though I didn't really know why or what to do with that.

  Studying in Avery, but thanks. See you at econ.

  There. That wasn't unfriendly. I'd been accused of being overly prickly a few times. I was making an effort to soften up.

  A little bit anyway.

  I walked towards Avery Library and fell gratefully into one of the ancient, overstuffed leather chairs on the second floor. I closed my eyes, knowing I was going to fall asleep but unable to do a thing about it.

  The next thing I heard was a deep, familiar voice. I opened my eyes. James was standing over me.

  "Somebody missed class, sleepyhead."

  Chapter Seven

  James

  Nadine blinked up at me, looking like a sleepy little girl. Suddenly, I could see her in my mind, a scrawny kid with tangled hair, always looking a little bit lost. A little bit lonely.

  Her eyes had been so bi
g. They'd always looked too old for her face. Like she'd seen too much.

  My heart twisted in my chest.

  Something else twisted too.

  My joint.

  It had been a couple weeks since I had run into Deanie at the ribs place. I hadn't gotten laid since. Plenty of opportunities to get laid or get my knob polished. Blatant offers. Phone numbers. Booty calls.

  I hadn't been interested in one.

  I just wanted to be with her.

  Damn it.

  I didn't like it. She was giving me the run around while I waited for her, twiddling my fucking thumbs. Enough was enough. I was annoyed as I hoisted her to her feet and grabbed her bag. I propelled her through the library.

  "What are you doing?"

  "I'm taking you home. And tomorrow I am taking you out."

  "I have to work tomorrow."

  "Forget it."

  "James-"

  I stopped outside the library, spinning her to face me.

  "Stop playing games, Deanie. I want you. You want me. This is happening."

  Her mouth opened and she stared at me, looking like a sexy little fish. A guppie maybe. I growled and yanked her against me, my mouth crashing down over hers.

  She tasted sweet. And surprised. Her lips opened beneath mine in a little 'o' and I slid my tongue inside, tasting her.

  She tasted like ketchup and french fries.

  I suddenly had a newfound appreciation for fast food.

  I couldn't resist sliding my hands over her back to her bottom. She let out a squeak as I grabbed her round cheeks and squeezed. I laughed and let her go.

  Time for that later.

  I opened my car door for her.

  "Get in."

  She was still half asleep I think because she actually did what I asked without arguing. For once. I knew I shouldn't get used to it but a guy could dream.

  "Oh, before I forget."

  I pulled a thumb drive out of my pocket.

  "Here. I took notes."

  "You took notes?"

  She was laughing at me.

  "Yeah. I do that sometimes."

  I gave her a mock glare and was rewarded by a melodious tinkling laugh. I liked the way that sounded. I wasn't sure I'd actually ever heard that before.

  "Thank you. I'll transcribe them. I prefer paper."