I played one of the demos but it got to the end and I realised I'd not heard a thing. I had no reason to be nervous. I didn't care who won this competition. Whoever won, I'd endure the night out with them then things would go back to normal. Hopefully, totally normal. Chuck would get his money. The club would be saved. I'd keep my job and this whole nasty business would be long forgotten.
If that was the case though, why did I feel like buffalos were stampeding over my chest? Why did my hands tremble and stomach churn?
I opened up the folder of band bios. I needed to get that info onto the computer but I couldn't focus on it.
Earlier in the day, the guys had come in to do their sound check. Bill had to work in the afternoon so they’d wanted to get it done super early so he could rush off. They'd sounded good but none of that mattered if they couldn't get the numbers through the door. They could be the greatest band in the world, putting on their premium performance, but it all came down to the numbers.
I'd waited for them to finish and even Carlie had come in for the sound check.
"You don't need to be here, you know," I said to her. "I'd have stayed in bed if I could."
"Yeah, right."
I wasn't sure what she meant by that. Sometimes, she tried to be too wise and all-knowing but she couldn't know something I didn't even know myself, and my emotions about this whole thing were a mess. Every feeling I could possibly feel had been tossed into a blender. I couldn't pick out just one and say that was how I was feeling because they'd all been churned up together.
"Anyway," she said, "I've got a vested interest in this, since I'm running the book on it. I'm going to be screwed if Razer wins. Well, I'll have enough to cover the bets but I won't be making boot-buying cash, if you know what I mean. Plus, it's kinda fun to see you squirm."
I punched her in the arm. My squirming was not for anyone's amusement.
The guys finished up their song.
"Sounds good," Razer called.
Hamish gave him a salute. Even with the cash payoff he'd received from Alex, he had a broad grin. Razer's insistence that he was the only sound guy they needed made him happy.
"See ya tonight," Razer had called as he left.
I gave him a wave. "Good luck."
"Yeah, good luck," Carlie called. "We'll be there to support you."
Razer gave me a broad grin. “You wished me luck? That means you want me to win.”
He left before I could respond.
After that, I'd headed to my office to get some work done, except hours later nothing had actually gotten done.
After hours of shuffling papers and pacing around, I gave up and headed into the bar.
"He's got it in the bag. I've been saying that all along," said Jackson.
"You think?" Carlie replied. "Did you see the crowd here for Alex? I thought the floor would collapse from the weight of them all. And, to be honest, the advance ticket sales have been slow."
He sat at the bar, reading a book while Carlie set up for the night. To be honest, I think she'd been a bit slack about clean up the night before and wanted to get it done before Chuck came in so he didn't know she'd left the place a mess. Drew sat at the Galaga machine. He'd been practicing lately, thinking he might, one day, beat Carlie.
"Oh, trust me, they'll turn up. Razer has the love of the people."
I wondered. I'd seen that love in action but would it be enough? Alex had done radio. He'd done ads, full colour ones. He’d set up a website and been on social media constantly. He'd worked his shit until his shit could be worked no more. How could the love of the people compare to that?
Jackson fell back into silence.
"Alex has the allure though. He's a star while Razer's just a regular Joe." Drew had to add in his bit.
"Well, if Alex wins, you can date him. You'd love that, wouldn't you Drew? Got a bit of a boy-crush on Alex?" I asked him.
He sure was keen on Alex winning. I seemed to remember the last time they’d had this conversation, they'd said pretty much the same thing but were on the opposite sides. I don’t think either Drew or Jackson cared which side they argued on, so long as they were arguing.
"God, I hate working upstairs," Carlie said. "Those crowds are feral. I'll be run off my feet all night and not get to see anything."
Carlie threw down the cloth she'd used to scrub the bar. She'd been told to work upstairs for the night since the bar staff had been run off their feet for Alex's show. I gave her a supportive grin.
"It'll be fine," I said, not even convincing myself.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" she asked. "You pretend that you don't care but you have a stake in this. Are you wanting him to win or lose? I've not been able to work that out yet."
I didn't answer. I wanted to not care.
I sat in the bar, sipping on my drink and appreciating the late afternoon quiet. Drew and Jackson argued about some stupid movie they'd both watched and it distracted me from my nerves.
I'd thought the guys would turn up early but downstairs opened and they weren't in yet. Maybe they figured it'd be better to get here last minute. All their gear was loaded in, so it wasn't like they actually needed to be here.
A bunch of people came into the bar.
"Is the band room open yet?" one of them asked.
I looked at the clock. "Not for another hour yet. Grab a drink until the doors open."
They ordered drinks then settled themselves on the stairs, waiting to be first in the door.
"God, they're keen," said Carlie.
"Told you," said Jackson.
Within half hour, the stairs had gotten filled up and people crowded into the downstairs area. A fight nearly broke out when one group tried to push into the line –some pushing and shoving but the bouncer sorted it out pretty quick. I'd never seen anything like it in the club before. Normally, you'd be lucky to have one or two people arrive before the doors opened. The bulk of people turned up somewhere in the second band's set.
"Do you think I should open the doors early?" I asked Carlie. "No one can get to the bar down here because of them milling around in the way."
"Nah, if you open up, I'll have to open the bar early and you know Chuck won't pay any extra. Make them wait."
I wasn't sure. I didn't want trouble breaking out.
"We could sell them the advance tickets and get them to come back later."
"That's not going to work," Jackson said. "Those chicks want to rush to get prime spots at the front of stage. They’re crazy for Razer."
He grinned an annoyingly self-satisfied grin.
"Let me through, let me through, a man needs a drink."
Dazza pushed through the crowd. A couple of people recognised him and waved but he had his eyes on the bar.
Once he had a beer in his hand, he looked more comfortable.
"Do you want to go upstairs to get away from the noise?" I asked.
Dazza shrugged. "Not sure if there’s any point..."
"What do you mean?" Something about the way he said that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
"Razer got a phone call this arvo. You know how Muff Monkey are on tour at the moment? Well, their guitarist broke his hand. They’re looking for a fill in. Well, they've asked him if he wants to take it on. They want him now. Like jump on the next plane now, so he can start rehearsing."
I stood up, feeling weak as a kitten.
"Are you okay?" asked Carlie.
Before I could answer her, the nausea rose in my stomach. Covering my mouth and pushing the fangirls out of the way, I rushed to the toilet before I threw up. Why hadn't Razer called me? What the hell was going on? He'd gotten that call and forgotten everything.
Chapter 33 VIOLET
I splashed water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. A horrible, pale-faced, red-eyed mess.
I should've known something like this would happen. Never put your trust in a rocker. How many times did I have to learn that lesson? I didn't even
have to ask Dazza if Razer had accepted the offer. Why wouldn't he? Why would he care about saving the club when he'd just been offered the chance of a lifetime? Playing with Muff Monkey was a whole level above playing here. Not even one level but like 50 levels. A massive jump from being a big fish in a small pond to being a big fish in the entire ocean.
The door swung open and I tried to dart back into the cubicle, not wanting anyone to see me so shaken.
"Don't worry, it's only me," Carlie called out. "I came in to see if you are okay."
I shook my head.
"This is a mess, a whole fucked up mess."
"What are we going to do?"
The door opened and two girls walked in, giggling and squealing.
"My office," I mouthed to Carlie. We couldn't discuss anything here, not without being overheard.
She helped me through the room. My legs were still shaky. I eased myself into my chair and pulled a bottle of vodka out of my drawer. I took a swig then offered the bottle to Carlie.
From outside, I could hear the chatter of the increasing crowd. They'd turn from a crowd to a mob, an angry mob, when they found out the news. And that was just the short term problem. Long term, this meant Chuck would make no money and he'd sell the club. That was certain. They could pretty much slap up the “for sale” sign on the place.
"What are we going to do about that?" I said to Carlie, nodding at the outside. "If we let them in the door, we are going to have to tell them at some point. Then we'll have to return all their money. That will be a nightmare. But if we don't let them through the door, the bar is going be bedlam. Hell, I need to call Razer."
I picked up my phone but it was flat.
"I'll get mine in a minute. It's behind the bar," said Carlie. "You know what we could do, right? We could call Chuck and tell him to deal with this mess and the pair of us could just piss off for the night. Go to some fancy cocktail bar and order drinks with umbrellas in them. We could laze back and relax without one tiny bit of stress."
Her idea seemed perfect. Why did I have to deal with this? It wasn't my club. It probably wouldn't be a club at all if Chuck had his way. We could just walk out. It's not like I'd be working there much longer anyway. I could almost taste that mojito in my mouth. It would taste like freedom and not giving a fuck.
But then I thought of all those fans out there wanting to support their favourite band and all the work I'd put into making this place the best club in town. I couldn't walk away from that. I had to fix things. It had to be me. Chuck didn't care and he'd just make things worse.
"We need to do something, I just don't know what. I don't want to be the one to tell those people that tonight has been cancelled."
No matter what, I'd get the blame for this. I’d tried to organise a blockbuster event and instead I got a complete fizzle. Chuck had been the one pushing me to do it but, if it failed, the blame would be on me.
"What about Alex?" said Carlie. "I wonder if we could give them Alex instead."
It was a crazy idea but it might just work. If we could get in touch with him. Hell, he'd probably be coming in to check out the competition anyway.
Then it hit me. He'd won.
He'd won by default but he'd won.
The vomit feeling rose up in me again. I didn't want Alex to win. I didn't want to agree to never date Razer ever.
The truth hit me like a tidal wave. He was gone. Gone forever.
I wanted to be with Razer, in his arms forever. More than Alex, more than the competition and definitely more than the club, I wanted him. He'd been the one who'd been there for me.
Razer was annoying and crazy and would turn my life upside down but Alex was just a hot body in tight leather pants. Sure, he was very hot, but he could only stir my lust not my heart.
I couldn't be angry with Razer for putting his career ahead of one lousy night. This was the type of opportunity that came along once in a lifetime. If I was him, I'd grab it with both hands. I'd hold it tight and not let it go. Even if it meant sacrificing me and everything here.
He'd been love-struck and crazy about me but how far did that go? Not far enough, I'd bet.
I grabbed the vodka back off Carlie and took another swig. It burnt like hell but it sure took the edge off my panic.
The realisation of life without Razer came crashing down on me. I didn't want that. As much as I yelled at him for bugging me and tried to keep my feelings locked in my heart, I couldn't image life any other way. I couldn't devote my entire life to this club. It might not even be here for me soon. It was a job, a job I loved, but it'd never love me back. I had my priorities all mixed up.
Screw Alex and screw the stupid bet. It was Razer I wanted. I needed to be with him.
"I'll get my phone," Carlie said.
I nodded, not sure what to say. My heart rate boomed, filling all the space. The buzz of the gathering crowd became distant. I had a million things to freak out about but the rest of it seemed stupid and unnecessary beside this one thing – that Razer was gone and I'd never told him how I felt.
When Carlie returned, I grabbed the phone off her and called Razer. The phone rang and rang but he didn't answer. Then his voicemail came on. I left a message telling him to ring me on Carlie's phone.
"Call Alex," Carlie said.
"I should wait until Razer calls back."
"Call him now. We need to get this sorted as soon as possible."
I picked up the phone. I didn't want to call Alex. Once I told him that Razer wasn't showing, it'd make everything certain, but I had to think about the quickest way to fix this situation. I had to be professional and push my feelings down so I could get the job done.
"Alex, it's Violet. Are you at the club?" I could hear a lot of background noise so assumed he was nearby. He was, so I told him to come into my office.
Minutes later, he walked through the door. I quickly gave him a run down on what was happening.
"I won," he said, his face shining with victory.
"Nothing's certain yet. I haven't heard from Razer."
"What's to hear? Of course he's not coming. What kind of fool would turn down an offer like that? He's probably forgotten this place even exists."
That didn't reassure me at all.
"Can you play in his place? If he doesn't show?" I didn’t want to beg but surely Alex could see how dire the situation was.
Alex put his head to one side.
"You don't get it, do you, Violet? I've won. I'm not doing this for kicks. If he doesn't show up tonight, he'll never show his face around here again. He'll be totally out. This is perfect."
"But all those people, they're here to see him..."
"They'll get over it. Although, they'll never forget who let them down. Anyway, I can't play. I'm not prepared. I can't just jump on stage and fill in like some second-rate loser. I'm sure you have plenty of other bands who could do it."
What a dick. I wanted to punch him but I would put this away in my mind until I had time to deal with it. He might've won the date with me but it'd be under sufferance. The guy was completely selfish.
I tried ringing Razer again but his phone just rang out.
"I'm going over there," I said. "I need to see him before he leaves."
Chapter 34 VIOLET
I grabbed Razer's address off the records in the office – he wasn't that far from the club – and I ran to the bus stop. I had no idea what his plans were. Maybe he'd already left. He might be on the plane and that's why his phone was off. I had no idea what I'd say or do when I saw him, I just knew that I needed to talk to him. I'd figure out the rest later.
With an offer like that, I had no idea if he even wanted to see me. Even if he'd been rushing for the airport, how long does it take to send a text while you are just sitting around in the cab? That he'd not even thought of doing that pierced my heart like a poison dart. He might not think of me but he had a whole bunch of other people involved in this too. They deserved some notice.
I searched d
own the street for the bus but there was no bus in sight. I checked my watch.
Things would be going nuts at the club. I had no plan on how I'd deal with that situation but people could wait. They'd have to be told the night was cancelled. They'd bitch and they'd scream but they'd go away. All that could be managed once I'd seen Razer's face and got an idea of how he felt.
I paced up the street and checked my watch again. Still no bus. There were a bunch of people waiting – some old ladies with shopping jeeps filled with vegetables, a teenage couple feeling each other up, a few bored people leaning against a shop window.
"It's already five minutes late, love," said one of the old ladies. "Could be another 20 minutes for all we know. It's never on time."
I kicked the bus stop sign pole and yelled. I didn't have 20 minutes.
I got the address out of my pocket. It wasn't that far. I took off, running, instead.
Damn people kept getting in my way. I shoved them aside and dodged around them trying to get down the crowded street. I got to the intersection and wasn't sure which way to go. I needed to check on my phone but that just took up valuable time. Finally, it loaded. I turned left. Off the main street, it wasn't as crowded and I picked up my pace.
I stumbled on something and went sprawling forward but righted myself and kept running. I had to see him. I had to tell him how I felt. Even if he didn't play the show. Even if he left.
Those things I'd said to him, that we didn't belong together, that we weren't right for each other. I'd lied when I said them. I’d known that at the time. I'd been so scared of what would happen if I let him into my life that I'd destroyed things before they could even start. All I had was a crumbling pile of emotions and I needed to rebuild. If I had any chance at all.
Whether he'd accept what I had to say or not, I had to tell him how I felt. That was all I could do.
I got to the block of flats. He was on the fifth floor. I ran in and hit the button for the elevator then leaned against the wall, trying to recover my breath. I wouldn't be telling him anything in this state, just a load of heavy breathing.
Too Many Rock Stars (Access All Areas #1) Page 14
