"Nope! I do know who he is though."
"Oh man! I'm going to be buying a lot of movies later. That's okay though because you're going to need your own stash of movies for your room. I'm so excited Grayson!"
Wow! Why did I even tell them I was leaving? I don't think they would have noticed. I run in really quickly to buy a couple of bouquets and when I got back into the truck they were still talking about movies. This time they were talking about Iron Man and Captain America.
"Do you like to read Grayson?"
He laughed at Caleb's question which had me laughing as well. I already knew the answer to that question, especially since he admitted to not watching hardly any TV. People that normally do not watch TV are readers.
"Okay, okay... stupid question. Have you ever read any comic books? I have every Marvel comic book you can imagine. I started reading them when I was your age. You're more than welcome to read them if you want. Better yet... I'm giving them to you. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did."
"Oh my God Nerd Boy! Are you serious? You're giving them to him? Your whole comic book collection?" He frowned at me and I arched my brow at him and poor Grayson is in the middle looking at me and then Caleb wondering what's going on.
"Why do you call him Nerd Boy?"
"Haha Cruella... How are you going to get out of that one and sound nice?" I wish I could hit him right about now but with my child between us I hold back.
"Because he's always called me Cruella." That just made me sound as mean as Caleb was insinuating. Maybe that's another movie he hasn't seen.
"Cruella like in 101 Dalmatians? That Cruella?" Great! He has seen that one! Caleb can't contain his laughter.
"Grayson... I promise she's not mean like Cruella but she used to be rather rude and mean to me which is why I was mean to her back and called her that. Her name for me was Nerd Boy for obvious reasons... Because I was into comic books and Star Wars movies but as the years have gone by they're not meant to be mean. It's kind of like calling each other Honey and Baby but sometimes it's Nerd Boy and Cruella. We don't mean anything mean towards each other when we say it. Do you understand?"
"Yeah... I get it. I have a question though." He looked up at me and then Caleb and thank God he asked him point blank instead of me because I don't know what I would have said if he had. "How long have you guys known each other and are you my biological father?" I held my breath wondering how Caleb was going to explain this to him. He shut off the ignition to the truck and turned in his seat and crouched down so that he could be more eye level to him.
"We've known each other for about 14 years and no Grayson. I'm not your biological father but I wish I was, and I do want to be your dad... If you'll let me since I plan on marrying your Mom."
They both looked over at me and I didn't know if I was supposed to nod at what he said or nod to Caleb planning on marrying me. I just nodded anyway and they both grinned and looked at each other. I can feel a marriage discussion later on with Caleb and with Grayson as well. I look around and realize that we were at the cemetery so I open my door and get out and grab the flower bouquets.
"We are here you two. Grayson, do you want to lead the way for us?"
He suddenly looks sick to his stomach but he gets out and nods his head and starts walking off for Caleb and me to follow him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
We are standing in front of Thomas and Jane's head stones and Grayson seems extra quiet and a little shy. I nod towards a bench that's a little out of the way to Caleb and he caught on to my meaning and walked away to sit down on it. Grayson looked up at me with a confused look on his face.
"What's wrong sweetie? Are the flowers not the right kind? We can go back and exchange them if you want." He looks down and shakes his head and kicks at a couple of weeds that have grown up out of the ground.
"No... The flowers are fine it's just.... I don't understand. I thought this would work."
"Thought what would work?" I'm at a loss at what's going through his mind right now. I get down on my knees so that I'm closer to his eye level and nudge him to look at me and I see tears forming in his eyes.
"Never mind. You would just think that I'm crazy." Why would I think he was crazy? I'm so confused right now so I look over at Caleb and he's watching us and has a worried look on his face.
"Okay... I would never think that you're crazy so what's going on? Are you ready to leave already?"
"No... It's just...." He lets out a long sigh and starts pacing around the tombstones. "Okay... I wanted to come so that I could talk to my parents." Oh I get it. He wants to be alone. Duh! I can't believe I didn't think of that.
"Oh honey! That's quite alright. I didn't mean to impose and I wasn't thinking. I'll go over there and sit by Caleb until you're ready to leave okay?"
"No! You don't get it! I see them when I visit. They never talk to me but I see them. I was hoping that since I'm so confused about what to do... Well... since you're here with me, they would talk to me but I can't even see them. It's like they're not even here!"
This is when he screamed and Caleb jumped up out of his seat but I waved him away. Now I see why he's upset and thought that I would think that he was crazy. Granted... I've never seen a ghost of anyone that has died but Olivia and Cash have and I know that they're not crazy.
"I see. Okay. Well... Do you think that if I go over and sit by Caleb that maybe then they'll appear?" The look of shock on his face and then the stare down he gave me rocked me all the way clear to my bones.
"You're not messing with me are you? You sounded like you believed me."
"Because I do believe you. If you say you saw your parents then you saw your parents. I, myself, have never seen a loved one in ghost form but my sister in law saw my brother and their kids several times after they died and Caleb's brother Cash saw his wife when he would visit her grave. I never thought that they were lying because they're as sane as you and I are so yes... I believe you."
"Really? I mentioned it once to Uncle Mattie and he said that it was all in my head but I knew that it wasn't. They always seemed so sad when I would see them and I was hoping that... Well... Since I finally met you that they'd be happy for us but they're not here so now I don't know what to think." I reach down and pull him towards me in a tight hug before I lose it right in front of him.
"I'll tell ya what... Maybe just maybe it's because I'm here. I'm going to leave you alone and go sit by Caleb. You take all the time that you need because we aren't in a hurry to be anywhere, okay?" I nod at him and turn around and walk over to where Caleb had been watching us from the bench. He scoots over to make room for me next to him and puts his arm around me when I sat down.
"Um... What's going on? Is everything okay?"
I look at him and shake my head. I know it's because of me that Grayson didn't get his wish in seeing his parents. It takes me back to my jealousy issues of not being able to see my brother Derek and Vanessa. I never understood why they wouldn't ever appear to me but they did Cash and Olivia.
"It's nothing. You wouldn't understand. I told him to take all of the time he needed so we can just sit here and wait for him."
"Okay... That's fine but you seem really upset. Why?"
"I'd rather not say so can we talk about something else?" I batted my eyes at him and smiled trying to pretend that I was fine. If I tell him how I feel then he's just going to laugh at me and tell me how ridiculous I sound and not to mention the fact that we are talking about ghosts. Wow! How pathetic am I? It's probably just a figment of everyone's imagination anyway. I didn't realize that he was staring at me until I felt like holes were being drilled into my skull.
"You're really not going to talk to me about why you're upset? I thought this was a relationship that we were in. If you're upset about something then we talk about it so that I can make you feel better. If I'm upset then I talk to you so that you can make me feel better. See? It's that easy. It's called being in a RELATIONSHIP!"
"Ugh! You're n
ot going to leave me alone about this are you." There's that cocky grin of his that I love and hate at the same time.
"Uh... Nope! I don't ever want there to be any secrets or issues between us. Ever! No matter how stupid you think it is or how bad you think my reaction is going to be. Geez! Do you not remember Olivia keeping her pregnancy from Cash all of those months? We are not going to be like them, okay?"
"If you recall Nerd Boy I was helping her keep that secret from Cash and from you as well." Crap! Why did I remind him of that? He didn't talk to me for hours over me not telling him what was going on with Olivia’s pregnancy.
"I remember all right and I don't think I've ever been more furious at you than I was then so what's going on?"
"Oh my GOD! Alright!! You're like a freaking dog with a bone sometimes you know that? You just can't ever let anything go. Geez! What did I get myself in to with you?" I didn't realize how mean I sounded until he stood up and looked down at me with a hurt look on his face.
"What did you get yourself in to? I'm so sorry that the last relationship you were in was based on a million lies but we are NOT going to have that kind of relationship Claudia." He threw his hands up on the air and I could tell how mad at me he was. "Ya know what? I don't give a shit what your problem is. I'm going to the truck to wait on you and Gray and then we can go take him wherever he wants to go. You're not going to ruin this day for him just because you're in one of your ‘I don't care to talk about my feelings’ moods!"
I look over at Grayson to make sure that he didn't hear our little argument and he seems to be in his own little world so we are safe there. I catch up to Caleb who is walking rather fast to the truck and put my arms around his waist from behind to stop him.
"Please stop. I don't want to fight and I'm sorry for what I said. I know exactly what I got myself in to with you and I hate that you make me tell you what I'm thinking when in all actuality I just want to keep it to myself and hold it in and think my way through it." He tries to turn around but I won't let him. "Please don't turn around. I can't bear to look into your eyes. I'll talk to you but only like this, okay?" He let out a long sigh and I feel his body relax.
"Claudia? Why do you have to make everything so difficult baby?" I squeezed him tighter and he put his hands over mine that are sprawled across his chest and tears started falling down my cheeks.
"Because I just know that one of these days you're going to realize just how crazy I am and when that day comes I'll never see you again. That's why."
I see a tree nearby and realize that I should probably move us closer to it instead of standing here in the middle of a cemetery with my arms around his back and him just staring at nothing. I push him towards it and trip over a rock and he turns around and catches me before I hit the ground.
I look up into his eyes and lean into him to hide my face against his chest after he pulled me up. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and started rubbing my back.
"I'm not going anywhere Claud! I already know how crazy you are, so quit thinking that I'm going to find out you're crazier than you pretend to be because I already know that. I think that's why I love you so much because you always surprise me at everything you say or do. I'm always wondering, ‘what is she going to do now?’ Or ‘uh oh.. What is she going to say to that?’ I love you, baby! Nothing will ever change that okay?"
I rose up on my tip toes and kissed him on the mouth and shoved my tongue down his throat. I've never felt so unconditionally loved in all of my life and I had to show him how much it meant to me with the only way that I knew how. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to kiss me back just as passionately while running his free hand through my hair and pulling my head even closer, making the kiss deeper to where we couldn't breathe and had to pull apart.
"Oh my God, Nerd Boy! The way that you make me feel should be illegal! Aww... I can't catch my breath. Give me a minute."
"You started it Cruella. Come here. Let me take your breath away again." I put my hand out to stop him and then went in for a hug instead.
"I love you too Baby. I really do. I'm so sorry for pushing you away... Again! Be patient with me please." I look over and Grayson looks like he's settled in for at least a few more minutes.
"Trust me Cru... I'm probably the most patient man you know. You have no idea. So... what's going on?"
"Okay, okay... I don't doubt that you are and here's the deal... Do you believe in ghosts? That's why Grayson wanted to come visit his parents. He's seen them before when he's visited and he was hoping that he would see them today but they haven't.... Well.... I guess the word to use would be... appeared. That's why he was so upset and that's why I left him alone because evidently... Ghosts just don't seem to like me very much."
I look up at him because I know that he has got to think that not only is my son crazy but that he gets it from me. The look on his face though wasn't what I was expecting at all. He's actually grinning and looking at me like I just told him the sky was purple.
"Are you kidding me? That's what you didn't want to tell me? Pffft! I hope you didn't act like that with Grayson because he doesn't need you making him think he's crazy."
"Well of course not! I told him that maybe it was because of me that they wouldn't appear so I left him alone to go sit with you. Maybe they showed up after I left for all I know."
"Good... If that makes him feel good coming here and seeing them then we will bring him any time he wants to."
"Why am I thinking that you've seen a ghost before? Have you?"
"No but I know that Cash and Olivia have and I know that they're not crazy and they wouldn't just lie about it." What a crazy conversation and quite possibly the craziest of my life.
"Very interesting Nerd Boy... Very interesting indeed. I don't know why I'm surprised that you don't think we are all crazy but hmmm... You amaze me."
"Haha... I don't know why. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a popular ghost in the Star Wars movies."
I had a moment of shock at wondering just how old his little mind was until he winked at me. He was totally messing with me but still believed all of us. I reached out and slapped him against his arm which made him wince.
"Ouch!! That hurt! I think you need to kiss it before my arm goes numb. Come on... Kiss it!"
"I think I need to hit your other arm you big goof ball! Hahaha... Put me down you Neanderthal"
He is now swinging me around in the air as if I was the size of a little Barbie doll. In the midst of one of one of my twirls around I notice Grayson standing there laughing at us. Caleb puts me down quickly to where I almost fall but he grabs my arm to stop me.
"Hey Buddy... Sorry... Claudia slapped me so I had to punish her. I hope we weren't too loud."
"Haha... Nope! Will you swing me around like that? That looked fun!"
Caleb looked over at me and grinned and motioned for Grayson to go over to him.
"Sure thing Buddy! Hold on tight to my arms alright?" He nodded at him and got ready for the ride of his life.
*************
We are finally on our way back to Mattie's house and are all wore out from the long day. The first thing that we did after leaving the cemetery was run to a video store so that Caleb could buy Grayson every movie that he thought he should watch before he grew into a man. I rolled my eyes at him when I saw how many movies he actually bought because there had to be close to 50 of them.
When that little shopping spree was over we asked Grayson what he wanted to do next and I about died. Roller blading happens to be one of his favorite past times and not only is he good at it but so is Caleb. Me on the other hand... After falling for the fifth time and scraping both knees and one elbow I finally found some knee and elbow pads and never fell again. Go figure! I look in the back seat and Grayson is passed out asleep so I guess that's a sign that he had a good day.
Aside from my cuts and bruises that Caleb promised he would doctor later I have to agree... It was definitely an awesome day. We deci
ded to take home some Chinese food instead of eating out because we were all too wore out to get out of the truck and go inside to eat anywhere. We pulled into the garage and got all of our stuff out of the back and notice that Grayson is still asleep. I look over at Caleb on what to do and he hands me the bags.
"I'll just carry the little guy in and put him in his bed. We can save some dinner for him."
"Don't you think we should wake him up so that he's not up all night?" Caleb nodded and realized that I was right but when he shook him he wouldn't wake up.
"How about we let him rest for an hour and try to wake him up then. We did a lot today Claud. Aren't you worn out as well? I know I sure am." He's got a point so I pick up the bag of movies and the Chinese food and head towards the door to the house.
"Okay... I'll carry all of this in. Here... Let me get the door for you."
When we walk in I hear yelling coming from the living room and its Mattie's voice that I hear. Who is he yelling at? I get closer and I hear Grayson's name come up which puts me on high alert.. who is he talking to about my son? I turn around and Grayson is awake now and rubbing his eyes and looking towards Mattie's screaming voice.
"I've already told you Meredith! He is staying here with me from now on and will NOT be back! There's not a damn thing that you can do about it, Meredith. I don't care if you have bills to pay! You should have thought about that before you and your loser husband quit your jobs thinking that you were going to use a 10 year old boy as your MEAL TICKET!"
Great! It's the people that have been taking care of him and they must be pissed that Grayson isn't going back there. I whisper to Caleb to take him to his bedroom because I don't want him to hear what all is being said. I know he seems more mature than most ten year olds but he's still just a ten year old boy that needs to be protected from all of this craziness.
I took the Chinese food into the kitchen and looked over at Mattie and his face is beet red from anger. He put a finger in front of his lips to tell me to keep quiet and I nodded at him. I'll be quiet but there's no way in hell that I'm leaving the room. Mattie started chuckling through the phone and got an evil smile on his face.
Found by Love Page 12
