by West, Naomi
He wanted to keep saving her, too. He knew it was bad and he shouldn’t, but he wanted her. And not just her body.
Sara came back every day like she said she would. She couldn’t miss a lot of work, and she apologized when she couldn’t be there, which was ridiculous, but sweet. And when she was there, she kept him entertained with conversation. They’d started talking about things more and more personal. As their conversation got more in-depth, he was aware the whole time of what a slippery slope he was edging down. Each time she left, he started to miss her, and when she came back, he was happy to see her.
Today, though, it had to stop. He couldn’t sit there anymore, knowing he was so close to finding Liam’s killer. And he couldn’t let this thing with Sara go on.
When he woke, he waited until after the nurse came in to see him, then he pushed himself up carefully in the bed. It was still difficult to get up and he wasn’t supposed to be out of bed alone. He held onto the bed’s railing as he slid out and stood still for a moment, waiting for the room to stop spinning before he shuffled over to the closet and pulled out his clothes. He didn’t have a shirt anymore. The one he’d had on was covered in blood, and the nurses had cut it off him. He’d have to leave the hospital gown on, but his jeans were okay. Dirty, bloody, but not terrible.
He set his clothing on the bed and slowly and carefully pulled his pants on. It was much more difficult than he had expected. Wasn’t helped by the fact that they were stiff with blood. What he needed were sweat pants, but these would have to do. He’d finally gotten them on, after having to stop a few times to wiggle them into place. He’d given up on his socks, but was now trying to bend over to get his shoes on. The pain was a lot, though, and bending his stomach in any way was pure agony. He ended up positioning one sneaker on the floor and trying to hold back the tongue with one foot while sliding in the other. It wasn’t going well.
He had just got his foot in one, though something was twisted and not right, when a sudden voice behind him startled him.
“What in the world are you doing?” Sara stood there with her arms crossed, giving him a displeased look.
At least it was her and not a nurse or doctor. “I’m checking out.”
“Doesn’t look like you’ve been discharged.”
“I have been. Dr. Saxton says so.”
“Why would you do that? Why rush it?”
“I can’t explain it fully right now,” he said. “But I have to get out of here. There’s something I have to do.”
“You’re not in any condition to do anything right now except rest.”
He started trying to get his other sneaker on, but she bent down to help him. She adjusted his first sneaker, too, then tied them both.
“Thanks.”
“How are you going to do anything if you can’t even tie your own shoes?”
“I’ll manage.”
“No.” She shook her head. “Then I’m going to take care of you until you’re well enough.”
“Absolutely not.”
“I guess I have to call security then and tell them that you’re out of your mind, talking crazy, trying to leave when you shouldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t.” He gave her a stern look.
“You really want to test me?”
“Why are you even here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I do get an occasional day off.”
“Wow. How nice of them.”
She shrugged. “I usually offer to work anyway. I don’t need days off. I need money.”
“Then go to work. I’ll manage on my own.”
“Not a chance.” She walked to the wall where the button was to call for a nurse. She held her thumb above it, ready to press if he didn’t relent.
He sighed. “Why are you doing this?”
“I just am.”
“Is this some payback crap?”
“Maybe.”
“Well don’t.”
“Saxton. I am coming to take care of you. And that’s that.”
He threw his hands into the air. “Fine.”
Inside, his heart was leaping for joy. When she’d first offered, he wanted her to come, but he couldn’t allow himself to go there. Having her in his place all the time like that, caring for him. He might as well jump off the edge of the slippery slope, right into heartbreak. But if she was going to insist like that, even to the point of threatening him, what could he do? He’d never let her know, of course, that he was thrilled. He had to work on keeping his feelings for her in check, so they could be squashed and eliminated.
Chapter Eleven
Though she’d been there before, the circumstances were much different when Sara saw Saxton’s house this time. It was light and she wasn’t under extreme distress, so she was able to notice more and feel even more inadequate in his presence.
His house felt enormous to Sara. Far more than any single man needed, surely. The hardwood floors and large rooms, the new appliances and updated rooms, all screamed far more money than she had. Far more than she ever hoped to have. Her tiny apartment with its barely functioning stove and fridge, with its stained and worn carpets and outdated everything, was a world away from Saxton’s house. She tried to put it out of her mind and focus on helping him. She could feel sorry for herself later, after she’d gotten him settled.
Sara walked back out to her car, which was sitting in the extra spot in his garage. “Ready?” She’d opened the door to the house to make their passage as easy as possible. Now, she slid her arm under his shoulders and helped him stand.
Saxton grunted in pain, but pushed himself to his feet. “How’d you get so strong?”
“Mommy muscles. Carry around a forty-five pound kid and heavy trays of food all day and you’d be strong, too.”
He smirked. “I carry a lot more than that when I work out.”
“I’m sure.” She didn’t want to think about his strong muscles. His arms—bare in his thin hospital gown—were thick and solid. Where her hand rested on his waist, she could feel his taught abdomen. If she thought about it too much, she started to get warm all over. He was far too good looking to be so muscular and so close.
They made their way into his house and to his bedroom, where he sat on the edge of the bed. She knelt in front of him and pulled off his shoes. But his pants needed to come off, too.
She gulped. “Stand up so I can take your pants off.”
His eyes turned slightly devilish and a grin played around his lips as he pushed back up to stand, now barefooted on the hardwood floor.
Sara unzipped his jeans and pushed them down with some difficulty since they were so stiff with blood and dirt. He stepped out, and she looked away as the hospital gown fell and covered his naked lower half. She walked to his closet and pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants, then a pair of clean boxers from his dresser. He was just someone who needed to be taken care of, that was all. If she could think of him that way, that she was just there to take care of him, like she took care of her son every day, then it was easier to separate him from the fact that she had wanted so badly to peek at him when his bare groin was in front of her.
She kept her eyes on the floor as she held open his boxer shorts. She pulled them into place, turning her head as she stood so she wasn’t face to face with him. Then she did the same with his sweatpants.
“Can you lift your arms?” she asked.
He slowly raised them into the air until she could slide his shirt over his hands and his head and pull it down to cover his washboard stomach. This would be so much easier if he wasn’t so hot.
“Let’s get you into bed.” She tossed back his covers and supported his shoulders as he slid into bed. “Is your pillow okay? Do you need more blankets or anything?”
“I’m fine, Mom,” he mumbled sarcastically as he closed his eyes.
“I just want you to be comfortable so you can heal up.”
“Tomorrow I’m getting up and getting back out there,” he said. “I have things to d
o.”
“Tomorrow? Saxton, you can barely walk. If you push it, you’ll make it worse. Whatever it is can wait.”
“It can’t.”
“Well, it’s going to have to. I’m not going to let you hurt yourself worse just because you’re stubborn.”
His eyes flashed open and burned with anger. “You will not tell me what to do.”
Sara swallowed and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to, I just… I don’t want to see you hurt worse than you are. You need time to heal.”
“Then let me sleep.”
He closed his eyes again and Sara backed out of the room. She closed the door and took a few breaths. His anger was a reality check. She could never forget that he was a biker, a criminal, a bad boy. And the reason that she never went for guys like her brother was because of things like that. They had tempers, they got violent, they ended up in jail over whatever crime they committed this week. They weren’t worth it. But she owed him. She could take care of him, make sure he healed well, and then let him go. For all he had done for her, she owed him that much, at least.
In about an hour, she had to pick up Ian. And that could be an issue. Patty wasn’t available today. That’s why she had off Thursdays. It was Patty’s day to go to bingo and do her grocery shopping. Though Sara usually picked up a few hours while Ian was at school, this was their night together every week. There was a neighbor girl who watched Ian on the rare occasion that Patty wasn’t available and Sara had to work. But she didn’t do it for free like Patty did. And Sara didn’t have any extra money for a sitter right now. Everything she’d gotten from Saxton had gone to the school. So, she really had just one choice left. Bring Ian here.
In her time before she had to leave, Sara cleaned up. She did the dishes, wiped the counter, straightened his paperwork into neat piles, and swept the floor. She only had time to squirt some cleaner into the toilet in the downstairs bathroom before she had to go. She would clean more later. She wrote a note saying she’d be back soon, left it on his bedside table when she checked on him, and walked out to her car.
She pulled up to the school, to the circle where the parents waited while their kids streamed out of the large brick building. She kept her eyes peeled for the bright green backpack and when she saw him, hopped out of the car and waved her arms over her head to get his attention. Ian grinned and waved back, then broke into a run.
“Mommy!” Ian jumped into her arms.
Sara squeezed him and kissed his head. “Hi sweetie. Did you have a good day?”
“Today we got to paint with finger paints!” He held up his hand, where there was a slight bluish tint remaining on his skin.
“Wow! What did you paint?” She opened the backdoor and got him buckled in his booster seat, then tossed his book bag in beside him.
“The ocean. And some fish. They’re getting eaten by a giant whale.”
Sara slid into place in the driver’s seat and started the car. “Sounds terrifying.”
“That’s just how the ocean is.”
She chuckled. “I’m sure it is.”
This could be tricky. How would she explain Saxton and why they were going to his house? While she was cleaning, she’d tried to come up with some ideas, but nothing seemed good enough. Ian had a habit of asking a lot of questions.
“We’re going to do something a little different tonight,” Sara said as she pulled out of the school parking lot and turned onto the road. “We’re going to visit a friend of mine. He’s very sick and needs us to take care of him.”
“Does he have a cold?”
“It’s a little worse than that. He was hurt real bad and can’t even walk too well.”
“Did he fall off the jungle gym?”
“Nope, nothing like that.” How do you explain a knife fight to a six-year-old? “He has a real bad cut and some bruises. We’re going to stay at his house until he gets better.”
“Okay.” Ian dug in his backpack and pulled out his toy sailboat. He zoomed it back and forth over his legs. Knee Ocean, he often called it, in his child’s imagination. He loved boats and things in the ocean.
When they pulled up to Saxton’s house, Sara turned in the seat to face Ian. “I need you to be real quiet when we go inside, okay? He might be sleeping.”
“What’s your friend’s name?”
“Saxton. This is his house.”
Ian nodded and looked up at the house wide-eyed. “How many people live here?”
“Just him. Stay here a second.” She hopped out of the car, dashed inside to the garage and pressed the button to open the garage door before getting back in the car and pulling in.
Ian got out of the car and put his backpack over his shoulder. “He could fit a lot more people in there.”
Why did Saxton have such a huge place if he was single? Not like he had a wife and kids to fill the rooms. Sara could only dream of having something like this for her son to grown up in. It almost felt like a waste that just one man lived there while her and Ian were crammed into such a tiny space. But, that’s what illegal activity got you. Big risk, but big money.
“Well, I guess some people just like having more space.” Sara locked the car and took Ian’s hand to lead him inside the house.
She pointed to the round wooden table in the corner of the kitchen. “Why don’t you sit there and do your homework?”
“I don’t have any homework.” He dropped his book bag loudly on the floor.
Sara cringed. “We need to be more quiet, okay?”
“Is your friend still sleeping?”
“Maybe. I’ll check. Just sit here and play quietly.”
Sara walked lightly up the stairs to Saxton’s room. She pushed opened the door, and he opened his eyes to look at her.
“You’re awake.”
“Yup. Who’s here?”
She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. “I had to get my son from school. Is that okay?”
He took a moment to answer. “I don’t know that the place is safe for kids. I have weapons everywhere.”
“I won’t let him get into anything. I just can’t afford a sitter and and my neighbor had bingo today.”
“Can’t afford it?” He pushed himself up so that he was sitting against the headboard. “What happened to the eight grand?”
Sara scratched the back of her neck. “It all had to go to his schooling. I owed them some money and that paid for back tuition and most of the rest of the year.”
He nodded. “And now you’re back to struggling to pay bills?”
She shrugged. “That’s how it’s always been, I guess.”
“That’s a shitty way to live.”
“It’s what I’m used to.”
“Doesn’t make it any less shitty.”
“And it also doesn’t change the facts. Being a single mom is expensive. I’m doing whatever I have to do to make ends meet.”
“What about his dad?” he asked.
“Long gone.”
“How much does he pay in child support?”
“You have to have a job and an address to pay child support.”
Saxton shook his head. “Low life.”
“Guess I know how to pick them, huh?”
He chuckled. “Is that why you’re still here? I’m just another low life you need to take care of?” Something of a challenge danced across his eyes while he waited for her answer.
“I sure hope not. You don’t seem like that type.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “You think you know my type?”
Sara lifted a shoulder and his moment of anger from earlier came back to her mind. She really didn’t know him at all. “Maybe not.”
“I’m not a good guy. Not like the type of good guy you deserve.”
“Me?” She shook her head. “What makes you think I’m good enough to deserve someone good?”
“You are. I can see it. You’re a good mother. Probably would take real good care of your man. Cook him dinner an
d all that. You work hard to send your kid to an expensive school. You probably even go to church and teach Sunday school.”
Sara felt her face warm. He made her seem so simple. And he had her figured out completely. “I don’t teach Sunday school anymore. After church shifts can be very busy and profitable.”
He chuckled. “I’m not at all surprised. You’re just a good girl who needs a good man. And I’m nothing but trouble.”
