by Ann Mauren
“Should I be?”
His voice was calm, with no accusation flavoring his tone, to my great relief. It was very dark and my eyes hadn’t adjusted yet, but I wished I could see his face more clearly, to gauge his mood. The batteries had died in my little lantern style flashlight, and I hadn’t gotten around to replacing them.
“That was Grayson. He’s an old friend, in town from North Carolina, just for the day. He wanted to go out for ice cream, for old time’s sake,” I said as evenly as I could, fighting down the nerves.
“He seemed very….enthusiastic…about you,” Ash replied, after an uncomfortable pause.
Here it comes, I thought and braced myself. Then my mind took a different tack, an offensive one.
“As enthusiastic as you are?” I asked, trying to be coy.
“Something like that, yes.”
His voice was too smooth and low. It made me nervous. That was a first. I’d never ever felt nervous around him before. It seemed like something important to share. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his bent knees. He pulled back from me, slightly, but in such close quarters he couldn’t completely escape.
“You know, this is the first time I’ve ever felt nervous around you. Normally, your presence relaxes me.”
He didn’t respond, so I continued.
“I had a feeling you’d be unhappy about the way I spent my evening. I’m sorry.”
I dropped my hold around the top of his knees to find his hands. They were loose and non-committal—they didn’t hold mine in return.
So a jealous Ash is a sulky Ash…but not an angry Ash. That’s a good thing. But how can I achieve an appeased Ash?
“Would you like to hear what we talked about?” I began.
“What is his last name?” he asked, rather abruptly, ignoring my offer.
“Gregory.”
That was rude.
He would have to ask nicely now before I’d let him in on my evening, and my upcoming plans.
“Do you have some romantic history with this boy, or was he just being incredibly forward with you?”
There was the accusation I’d been expecting. I understood exactly how he felt, and the empathy helped to restrain the hackles that were beginning to sprout on my back.
I took a deep breath, composing my thoughts and myself.
“I met Gray two summers ago when I went with my grandpa on a trip to Iceland. He was working on a survey with Gray’s dad there. Gray was supposed to be helping with the survey too, but he was nice enough to baby-sit me while we were there so my grandpa could focus on work.”
My eyes were starting to adjust. Ash was looking at the ceiling. I pressed on.
“Gray’s a lot of fun, and I had a huge crush on him. But I haven’t spoken to him since Iceland, until tonight. I was surprised to see him.”
I’d seen Gray more recently than that, but the speaking to him part was the truth. I paused again, trying to get the words just right in my head.
“Let me just be clear on a few things. I don’t dream about him, and I don’t imagine being married to him, and I don’t hang out in tree houses at midnight with him, understand?”
I was abruptly turned around and in Ash’s lap, facing the wall I had been sitting against just a second ago, with his arms wrapped securely around me and his lips at my ear.
“I’m sorry. That was unforgivable—pressing you like that. It’s none of my business. You should have told me so.”
I could feel his breath against my ear while he spoke. My own breathing was uneven from the surprise and pleasure of such a bold move. He was normally very careful about touching me. Up to this point it had been strictly hand holding and the occasional hug and, of course, my numerous but thwarted experiments.
I laughed a little nervous laugh and said, “Are you kidding? And miss out on this?”
Then I crossed my arms up over top of his and squeezed. He sighed and I felt the air move across my neck. It made me shiver with happy pleasure. He squeezed a little tighter in response.
“Besides, I thought I was your business,” I added, pleased with my joke.
He chuckled lightly. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he seemed appeased, for the moment, and I needed to get on with the news. I sighed and moved forward with it.
“Mr. Gregory, his dad, offered me an internship position this summer on a survey project in Canada. Gray came to extend the invitation in person.”
I let that hang out there, concentrating on analyzing his reaction. He loosened his grip on me by a fraction.
“I really want to go. It’s in Alberta, in the Canadian Rockies. It’s always been a dream of mine to go there…but…I don’t know…”
I realized that I wasn’t playing fair now, framing things in this way, but at least I was being honest.
“What don’t you know?” he asked, squeezing the tops of my arms in his hands.
Being in his lap, feeling his warm shape around me and his hands on my body felt wonderful. I had to regroup to concentrate on speaking again.
“Well, I don’t know if I can go that long without you. It would be for a whole month. Plus, I’m not sure you’ll say yes, so...”
It was more honesty on my part. I wanted to reassure him that I wasn’t planning to make this decision independently, though I actually already had, technically.
He made a nervous one syllable laugh—I felt it in my hair.
“I’m flattered that you feel you need to ask my permission, but no matter what you decide—and Love, it is your decision—we won’t be apart. Even if I wasn’t madly in love with you, I’d still be following you to Canada or around Louisville this summer, either way.”
It sounded like a smile in his voice at the end.
I chuckled.
“Yeah, I guess that was dumb. Like my taking a trip into the wilds of the Canadian Rockies wouldn’t require security.”
He dropped his hold on me completely and exhaled deeply. I turned to face him, trying to get a better view of this extreme mood change.
“What is it? What did I say?”
I was back to being nervous again.
“Will you be…camping?”
He said ‘camping’ like it was a dirty word. Was he skenephobic (fearful of tents)?
“Yes?” I replied, tentatively.
I didn’t understand the issue here. Geologic surveys were not conducted indoors. He was infinitely smarter than me. Surely he knew that much.
“Is that a problem?”
There was a long pause. Finally he broke through the silence that was starting to get very loud to me.
“I’ve never…camped before. It seems I have some preparations to make.”
I could tell it was hard for him to admit this. But I was pleased. If his problem was more about camping than about Gray, then this would be easier than I thought.
“Thank you,” I said, turning around to hug him chest to chest with my arms around his back, below where it was pressed into the wall of the tree house. I squeezed him as hard as I could and tried to concentrate on how it felt having him inside my arms. I still had him trapped when I announced, “Now I get everything I wished for.”
Then with a happy sigh I turned my face to listen to his heart—it was racing. Always cautious and extremely gentle, as if I were a china doll, he rested his chin on my head softly and warned, “Be careful about that.”
I knew exactly what he meant. All of my wishes, the old and the new, were on a collision course. I only hoped that when the dust settled, Ash and I would be able to walk away from it…still holding hands.
Chapter 25 – Eco Challenge
I was in need of a plan. I was searching for a solution to get myself as capable as possible for my upcoming outdoor adventure, which was now less than two weeks away. Ash had informed me that he would be spending the better part of the coming week out of town with Ray Torrence, of all people, ‘brushing up’ on his survival skills. I’d called him on it when he tried to make it sound li
ke he thought of asking for Ray’s help because it had come up in conversation during our dinner together that Ray used to be a Marine.
Though he obviously knew I was aware of my security team, he never brought them up, and I took this to mean that he would rather not discuss it. He seemed surprised, though, when I revealed that I knew Lidia and Ray were on the team, something I had pieced together after our dinner at my house. I’d made a point to clear up his misconception, assuring him that I wasn’t stupid enough to actually believe someone like Lidia Torrence would work for a driving school, and then take time on a weekly basis afterward to be my friend and mentor.
When he thought I had expressed doubt about the sincerity of the ‘friendship’ aspect of my relationship with Lidia, he’d surprised me by taking up for her, affirming her genuine fondness for me. I knew he didn’t care for her, so the candor in his begrudgingly favorable admission added weight to its veracity.
Though she was very feminine and fashionable, I had a hunch that there was more to Lidia than her exceptionally beautiful surface. I decided to test my theory and see if I might be able enlist her help with a girl version of survival training.
We met once a week on Sunday afternoons to visit and catch up. This time we were having brunch at Panera.
“I’ve been invited on a trip to Canada,” I began as I took a bite of bagel and a sip of cream flavored with a hint of coffee.
She looked surprised though I knew she wasn’t really.
Life will be so much better when this stupid game is over, I thought in a moment of concealed peevishness.
“Wow. That’s exciting! Who are you going with?”
You, your husband, Ash, and everyone else on your security team.
“Some friends I met through my grandpa. They own a research and mining company and would hire out Grandpa’s services from time to time. Anyway, I’m invited to help with a survey project near Banff, in Alberta. It’s an intern job, but there’s kind of a complication.”
I wondered if I would regret going down this path, but it was too late to abort now.
“What kind of complication?”
She seemed more worried than she should be. She hadn’t been briefed about this part and I smiled inwardly at that thought.
“I’m going to be spending most of my time with a guy that…”
I realized this was hard to say out loud—I never had before.
“A guy that…?” she encouraged.
“Well, I just…suffered through a really bad broken heart over him. He didn’t dump me or anything. It’s not like we were together.”
“What happened?”
She was very serious.
“Well, it’s been a couple of years ago, now. His name is Gray. I met him when I was traveling with my grandpa for work. I had a huge crush on him. But when Grandpa died I figured I’d never see him again. You know, connection closed. I guess I sort of gave myself a broken heart. Then out of the blue he shows up on my doorstep acting like he was the one who had the crush and invites me on a month-long date in Canada. I don’t know how to feel about this...and, well…I’m terrified of a set-back.”
Every word was true.
“Why did you say yes?”
She was smiling but serious.
I couldn’t explain my primary reason: getting to the bottom of her association with me and the presence of a secret service unit in my life. I had no proof that Gray had anything to do with it. All I knew was that it had to be expensive, and the Gregorys were the wealthiest people I’d ever heard of. I never felt certain about anything these days, but if they were behind this high-end babysitting contract, I could be certain it wasn’t because of my money—they had more than plenty of their own.
I decided to expound on the other side of my reason for going.
“I guess I just didn’t want to close my connection with the Gregorys. It reminds me of my time with Grandpa, and I want to be a geologist, like him, I think. So this is a valuable experience. Plus, geology aside, I’ve always wanted to see the Canadian Rockies; and that’s never going to happen with Mom and Hoyt. Dan and Gray will make it really fun, I’m sure. I’ve been shut up for so long,” I sighed and used the moment to choose my words.
“It’s just that I think Gray might want more from me, and I’m not sure if I can handle it. You know?”
She put her hand over mine and squeezed it reassuringly.
“You can handle anything. You just need to be sure about what you want, and really think it through. He probably does want more. I think any man would, especially because it’s you, bambina bellina (Italian for pretty girl). But that doesn’t obligate you. If you were offered an internship, then make it clear from the beginning that is what you’re there for. If he’s advancing on you in a way that you’re not comfortable with, you should say so. Don’t you dare feel guilty. Understand?”
It was exactly what I needed to hear. I nodded gravely.
“He doesn’t happen to be extremely rich and handsome, does he?” she asked with a grin.
“Of course. And charming too. I was too flattered to say no. I just hope it’s not a mistake. I mean, he never called me or wrote me or anything. I don’t know what to think.”
“Do you still like him?” she asked.
It occurred to me that she may actually be rooting for us, having no knowledge of my romantic ties to Ash, and might do so all the more, if she did possess such knowledge.
“A little. I just don’t want to be left high and dry. I got over him once, but I don’t think I could pull it off twice.”
I laughed at myself.
“I can’t imagine you having to ‘get over’ anyone. Maybe it was more about timing than that he wasn’t interested in you. Do you think that’s possible?”
I arched my eyebrows but didn’t answer. I had never considered that. It was possible. Why would he waste time with a high school girl? But now that I was older…
I would need to file that away for further consideration.
I continued with the details that she already knew. We’d be flying into Calgary, then we would head west to Banff where we would do some site-seeing and then take a few back country back-packing trips to do a geological survey in an area determined by satellite photos.
“But there’s something I’m concerned about with the back-packing. I’ve camped before when I was a lot younger and I was with my dad or grandpa so I didn’t put tents up, or build campfires or cook. I would really like to be self sufficient around camp while we’re out there, pulling my own weight…” I trailed off, wistfully.
“So you’d like some survival training? Is that it?”
She seemed to be enjoying an inside joke—without realizing that I was secretly in on the punch line!
“Didn’t you say that Ray was in the military? Do you think he would mind showing me a few things?”
That wasn’t what I really wanted, but I was curious to hear her response.
“Oh, I think you can do better than that, Ellery.”
There was a devious look in her eyes now.
“I can?”
I was all wide-eyed curiosity.
“Did you ever watch the Eco Challenge races on cable?” she asked, looking somewhat smug.
Yes, in fact I had. It was one of the first shared activities I enjoyed with Hoyt when he and Mom had started dating. I rummaged through my memories of the different races we had watched together. I was always particularly interested because the races featured teams with both male and female contestants, which fed my love of heroines. The teams would race through the jungle and climb mountains, kayak rivers, swim the in the ocean, repel into canyons, and of course, run.
Then it clicked. I laughed at the absurdity. But it explained a lot.
“You’re Lidia Ferrari?” I asked with excited incredulity.
From Team Ferrari Italia on the Eco Challenge Fiji Adventure Race. I remembered that team because they were famous, sort of—all from the Ferrari sports car family. Though, I
had been zoned in to the program because the actor Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker from the newer movies of the older Star Wars stories) was on a team with his brother and sister, representing Canada.
“So you did watch it. I wasn’t sure if you were old enough to remember.”
She was pleased.
“I remember that your team actually finished the race.”
Some fifty or so of the eighty plus teams competing had to drop out due to injury or disease. The ‘Force’ had not been with Hayden’s team.
“And now I understand your car sense a little better.”
I couldn’t hold back the smile wondering how in the world she could have ended up here with me now. It was crazy, but in a good way.
“So, did you meet Hayden Christensen?” I couldn’t resist asking.
“Yeah, we dated for a little while. But he was more interested in my cars than he was in me.”
Her tone was disinterested.
“That’s too bad,” I lamented, feeling a vicarious sort of disappointment.
“No, it was okay. I was more interested in my cars than I was in him.”
She smirked and rolled her eyes. Then she got back on topic.
“Any way, I think I’ll be able to show you a thing or two about camping.”
The smug look was taking up residence again.
“So when you’re finished with me, I’ll be the best campfire builder I know?” I grinned as I asked this.
“Besides me, of course.”
And she smiled at me.
Chapter 26 – Even
It used to be my fortress of solitude. Now we met nearly every night in my silly little tree house, constructed for the small kids of the property’s previous owners, with a Fire Marshall’s maximum capacity rating of three children. It had become my favorite place in the world because it was where I got to visit face to face and hand in hand with my favorite person on Earth. Tonight would be the last time, for a while, since we would be traveling out of the country the next day—but not together, exactly.
