by Ann Mauren
He smiled big as he took in my change of apparel.
“You’ve really thought this through.”
He reached into a compartment in the dash and pulled out hat and a clipboard, all without looking.
“Now you’re official,” he pronounced.
It felt that way.
We made six more stops. They were quick and took us further away from Banff until we were finished and on our way back to Calgary. After a number of miles had rolled by in companionable silence heading east on the Trans Canada Highway, he asked, “So what kind of idiot is this boyfriend of yours, chasing a girl like you away?”
It was a logical question, but it stung me anyway. I’d been working hard to think about what was ahead, and not what was behind me now.
“Oh, he’s very smart—just a little too controlling. I know he loves me, but I also know that I can’t live in chains…even if they’re gold. He’s got some pretty heavy connections so I had to find a way to travel off the grid. Thank you, I really appreciate this.”
I was staring out the windshield while I spoke, imagining Gray and Dan and everyone else scrambling in a panic over me…right now. And imagining Ash pretending to do that. It nearly derailed me, but I was thankful he’d caught me the way he did. Telling him not to doubt me would have been less convincing by some electronic mode of communication, especially with the separation I was planning for us. I wondered about the fallout, though. I hoped no one would get fired. Probably they wouldn’t. Gray would need them to track me down, once they realized I didn’t end up in Louisville, and that my folks didn’t actually know my whereabouts either. It would be a very bad time to recruit a new team, especially one that didn’t know me at all.
“This is the best thing that’s happened to me since I started. Maybe I’ll get a promotion for good deeds done on the job,” Doug said, breaking through my reverie.
He was kidding but Hoyt could probably pull some strings…
“You might,” I agreed. “Listen, when they will find you they’ll make it sound like something terrible will happen if you don’t spill. But you have to pretend like this never happened—zero residual presence. Okay?”
“I’ll disavow all knowledge of you, your boyfriend and your chains.”
He was a Mission Impossible fan as well. I laughed at his joke.
“If you can’t do that, then just tell them the truth; that I pulled some strings with my dad and you helped me out. I was upset and I wanted to go home. You might as well just start with that. It’s the truth. It’ll go over better, and that way they might not kill you.”
I let that hang out there just to make it exciting for him, and to incent him to take the honest route from the get go.
From the time I set foot in the truck to the moment we pulled into base, a period of about two and half hours had elapsed. There was a chance that the security team would already be on hand to collect me, but I decided not to stress over what I couldn’t control. The timing would be close, but I had enough of a head start to make it to Calgary before they did…I hoped.
During quiet time on the highway, where I pretended to be catching up on some rest, I tried to think through my reasons for running away like this. I had no gift for strategy. This was me taking Elsie’s advice.
I was not just skipping out on Gray, but also Monica and Ash; but for very different reasons in each case.
Poor Gray. I knew he loved me very much, or at least he thought he did. But he’d cut himself out of contention when he decided we were engaged without a solid yes from me. The handcuff remark was my wakeup call, but the ax fell that day we met with Elsie in the hotel room, discussing sleeping arrangements.
He’d asked for forgiveness on that, which I had granted, but it didn’t change how things had always been between us. He was in total control, and when I didn’t like a decision he would tease, or distract, or romance me into submission, instead of just asking me first, or listening to my opinions, or accepting no for an answer, even once. I couldn’t be happy in that kind of relationship—I doubted anyone could be. He had been sexy and sweet and solicitous, but he simply wasn’t my soul mate. I didn’t have the heart or the guts to tell him that to his face; so here I was skittering away like a rat, hoping my absence would make my point clear for me.
Then there was poor Monica. One of the reasons I could be patient and not rebellious in my relationship with my mom was that I understood where she was coming from. But more importantly, I understood that it wasn’t a permanent situation. Anticipating the freedom of my approaching adulthood had reduced the temporary irritation and resentment of over-parenting from which I occasionally suffered at her hands. She would not take this decision I’d made very well at all. Thank goodness she couldn’t send people with guns and helicopters after me too.
And poorest of all was my dear sweet soul mate, Ash. I never anticipated falling in love with someone like him, and then being so strongly tempted to forfeit a normal, self-directed rite of passage into womanhood with all the associated features and benefits of autonomy I had been so eagerly awaiting.
But I had to be realistic about my hopes, especially those I had entertained before I ever fell in love. If I willingly transferred custody of life from Monica to Ash, did I truly believe that I could escape the fallout of selling my freedom out from under myself? Especially when anticipating that freedom had kept the bitter resentment at bay? I couldn’t bear the thought of experiencing the same longing to be free and alone and unanswerable to Ash that I felt with my mother. It would poison our love someday—quite possibly sooner than later.
With my heart now anchored to the idea of love and happiness with Ash, could I find the strength and faith to fly away, taking my own helm for a private flight, and then return more confident and qualified to enter the port of marriage?
Why couldn’t we just be engaged and date and have fun together while I lived free and on my own for a while somewhere around Louisville or wherever I decided to go for school? Wouldn’t that be a workable alternative?
I had to admit that the answer was no. I already depended upon him too much. Not that such dependence was a bad thing, not at all. I knew in my heart that Ash was that captain I promised to find for myself. But we weren’t perfect people. Someday we would have problems in our relationship like everybody else. Having faith in his ability to direct my life required that I try my own hand at it first. My respect for his role as captain needed the right foundation: personal experience as a captain myself. If I didn’t get the opportunity to run my own life and make my own good (or bad) decisions, when things got difficult in our marriage, I might question my decision to marry him in the first place, and that would be unacceptable.
Elsie was right. Experiencing this true freedom and self-reliance required a clean break, not permanent, but complete for its duration. I needed space to make decisions for myself and set my own headings. If we were together, every move I made would tie back to him, and to us. I would be more like a balloon on a tether than a bird on the wing. Someday I would regret it if I settled for floating when I had the chance to fly.
Of my three victims, Ash was the one who willingly let me go. I knew I would never get that from Monica or Gray. That truth helped me assure myself that I was right—he was the one for me and I was on the correct course to be the best I could be for him.
Back at the UPS hub in Calgary I used the location manager’s office phone to call Hoyt at his desk. It was early afternoon and he’d be back from lunch by now.
“Hoyt? It’s me. Something’s happened. Everything’s fine, but I need help. I was wondering if you could help me make arrangements to hitch a ride out of Calgary.”
In vague terms I explained that some unexpected business had called the Gregorys away, but that I didn’t want to come home while I was still supposed to be on vacation and enjoying a measure of freedom. Instead of returning home I asked if he could help me get myself to where Samantha was going for part of the summer. I explained that I didn’t want to str
ess Mom out unnecessarily with news of another jet ride and that I’d just tell her about my change of plans and location once I arrived at my next stop. He promised to handle things confidentially and calmly agreed to make all the arrangements I asked for, as long as I promised to check in with him at regular, pre-determined intervals. Everyone should have a Hoyt in their life. I was so very glad that I did, and never more than at that moment.
Much later that evening I had dinner with an out of uniform Doug Thomas and his wife Kim at a local pizza place instead of their home because there was every chance that someone from the team, or Gray himself, might already be there with a net and tranquilizers.
Thankfully, I avoided predation, and they returned me to the UPS hub without incident, where I boarded a brown cargo plane bound for Louisville. Sitting in the jump seat (the no-frills extra passenger seat on a cargo plane), the flight crew dutifully followed directions by not engaging me…at all, as though I were just another package bound for the sorting facility. Loads out of Calgary were routed through the main hub in Kentucky. I had to go home first whether I wanted to or not.
In the very early hours of the morning I boarded another UPS plane at Louisville International that was headed for Los Angeles. Being so close, and knowing how very far away I was going next, there was a huge temptation to go home first and say proper goodbyes, holding the people who loved me just one more time. But it would ruin all my plans, and anyway, we’d already said extended goodbyes last week. That would have to be enough. It wasn’t forever, after all. It would only feel like it.
After four hours in the air and then another two on the ground refueling and switching out loads in L.A., the same big brown plane took to the sky again, carrying me to the place that was going to be my safe house for a while. I had even been accepted at a college there, though I had not been the one to apply, and it certainly wasn’t for an Earth Sciences education.
This destination held the promise of freedom to live on my own, make decisions for myself, grow up a little and really think about what was important and best for me. And do it without manipulation or guilt…and absolutely no spotlights.
After I’d checked all of those things off my to-do list, I’d have a special event to arrange. I only hoped that when that time came, the names on the guest list matched the names of the people who still loved me.
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Epilogue
—GRAYSON GREGORY—
I had waited two very long years for this girl. The sad thing was that I did it to myself. The decision to wait was my choice, not hers. Dad was right and I was wrong; I shouldn’t have waited.
I was thinking that my time with Ellie in Canada would be like a dream come true—not a nightmare. Now I desperately wished it was a nightmare from which I could awake and escape.
First I found out that she was secretly engaged to a guy who knew how to hide their relationship from her security team. After some serious hoop-jumping, I finally got her to at least consider her options and the idea that being a Gregory might be a better one for her. But then I nearly blew it by making a stupid comment that upset her so badly she actually faked an illness to get away from me. To my surprise she seemed to change her mind on the way back from the hospital and it felt like the resistance was finally gone. But the next morning she walked away at breakfast and disappeared into thin air.
It would have been hard enough to deal with it on my own. But I also had my dad and horde of security people gathered to consult and debate about the next steps to take in my personal disaster.
But the real kicker was that I found myself sitting across the table from the guy who had ruined everything for me and I had to play it cool and pretend that I didn’t want to strangle him with my bare hands. Of course that would be very satisfying, but then I’d never find my Ellie. I was absolutely certain he knew her exact location because along with a boatload of con artist gold digging propaganda that messed with her sweet and trusting little heart, he’d also given her a fancy locket with his picture and a GPS chip embedded in the frame. So I would just have to be patient and smarter than him this time as I worked through this nightmare with a ‘To Do’ list:
Find and marry Ellie Mayne
Make Ash Ryan pay double in damages
Stop dreaming and start living happily ever after with a girl who was worth the wait
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Coming Soon...
Book 2 of the Mayne Attraction Series:
In The Smoke
Book Two of the Mayne Attraction Series, “In The Smoke,” continues the story from Grayson Gregory’s point of view. Pushed by his father to pursue Dr. Mayne's very young granddaughter, he unwittingly breaks her heart, though all he meant to do was give her time to grow up. When the multi-million dollar company he’s poised to inherit is threatened with a hostile takeover, it becomes clear that his interest in Ellery runs deeper than purely romantic attraction, and he battles with himself and his father to balance the line between love, livelihood, family and fortune.
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Coming Soon...
Book 3 of the Mayne Attraction Series:
In The Shadow
Book Three of the Mayne Attraction Series, “In The Shadow,” presents the exciting conclusion of the trilogy with a narrative from Ash Ryan, a security specialist enjoying the best paying, easiest job of his career. His life turns bitterly painful, though, when he falls desperately in love with Ellery Mayne—the beautiful subject of his secret surveillance assignment. His anguish turns to joy when she unexpectedly reaches out to him. But then another suitor, with a previous claim on her affections appears, and Ash must choose between loyalty to his colleagues and fighting for the girl of his dreams.
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Read excerpts online and experience the sights and sounds of Mayne Attraction at:
www.MayneAttraction.com
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Table of Contents
Book 2 of the Mayne Attraction Series:
Book 3 of the Mayne Attraction Series:
Prologue
Chapter 1 – Déjà Vu
Chapter 2 – Fantasy
Chapter 3 – Recovery
Chapter 4 – Scopophobia
Chapter 5 – Experiment
Chapter 6 – Trust
Chapter 7 – Legacy
Chapter 8 – Reticent
Chapter 9 – Goth
Chapter 10 – Emperor
Chapter 11 – Instructor
Chapter 12 – Episode
Chapter 13 – Classified
Chapter 14 – Repression
Chapter 15 – King's Island
Chapter 16 – Great Wolf
Chapter 17 – Game Night
Chapter 18 – Love Letter
Chapter 19 – Introduction
Chapter 20 – Hidden Falls
Chapter 21 – Conspiracy
Chapter 22 – Miracle
Chapter 23 – Commencement
Chapter 24 – Invitation
Chapter 25 – Eco Challenge
Chapter 26 – Even
Chapter 27 – Friendly Skies
Chapter 28 – Banff
Chapter 29 – Lake Louise
Chapter 30 - Lake Oesa
Chapter 31 – Scrapbook
Chapter 32 – Pitch Pile
Chapter 33 – Kiwi
Chapter 34 – Fireworks
Chapter 35 – Emergency Room
Chapter 36 – Peaceful
Chapter 37 – Big Brown
Epilogue
Chapter 1 – Déjà Vu
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