by J. L. Drake
He rubs his head and mutters, “What’s your point?”
I swallow hard, forcing my emotions back and taking another step closer. Where this bravery is coming from, I don't know. Maybe my mother is here, or maybe I’m just losing it.
“Savannah, stop,” Cole warns behind me, but I hear him tell the other men to stand back too.
The gun is closer now. I can smell the steel. “Did you love me then?” I hold his gaze and see a tiny flicker in his eyes. His gun wavers a bit, then he points it directly in my face and pulls the trigger.
No.
Pop! Pop! Pop! I’m blinded and falling hard. The breath is knocked out of me as I’m covered with heavy bodies.
***
I wake to semi-darkness. It takes me a moment to see I’m in Cole’s bed, and he’s standing in front of the fireplace watching the flames and sipping brandy. He’s only in a pair of pajama pants, his bare chest reflecting orange from the fire. He looks so tall and powerful the way his muscles flex, casting shadows. His head presses into his hand gripping the mantel.
I slip out of bed, move behind him, and run my hands along his warm back, feeling him jump then immediately relax. “Hey,” I whisper against his skin, giving him a little kiss, “everything all right?”
“No,” he mutters, downing the rest of his brandy. He puts the glass on the mantel and turns in one swift movement to face me, holding my head in his hands. His eyes are dark; I can see he’s fighting to hold himself together. One hand moves to my hair, entangling his fingers and getting a good grip, while he leans forward and rests his forehead to mine, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t do this again. I can’t have you leave me. I need you, Savannah. I need you to be mine.” His words seem painful.
“I am yours,” I whisper.
His eyes suddenly pop open.
“Marry me now.”
“Now? Cole, it’s the middle of the night.”
“Then tomorrow.” He sounds frantic. “I promise I’ll give you a fancy wedding later, just marry me.”
I lean forward and press my hands over his chest. “Cole, I love you more than the earth needs the sun, but nothing in my life has ever been in my control. Ever. I want to stress about the food, the flowers, and the music, all that ridiculous wedding stuff. Because it will be normal—my normal—and I need normal.” I walk my fingers up his chest. “Please understand how much I need this, how much I want it.”
I can see his internal battle flickering though his eyes. His tongue runs over his bottom lip, the moisture on them catching the flicker of the flames.
“If stressing over food, flowers, and music makes you get your normal, then I’ll wait,” he says quietly. I’m pleased he hears me, but I can see something is still weighing on him.
I start to say more, but he picks me up, laying me back down on the bed. I think he’s going to kiss me, but instead he lies down next to me, resting his head on my chest, his hand on my tummy. We stay like that for a long time, my fingers combing through his dark, silky hair. The only noise is the soothing sound of the fire. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, he speaks in a quiet, raspy voice.
“Tonight did things to me, Savannah.” He draws a small square pattern along my belly. “Even though we got him, he did pull the trigger.” He clears his throat. “Images flash before my eyes.” Blinking away tears, I still can’t believe my father pulled a gun on me, let alone actually pulled the trigger. I know why he did it, I know why the gun wasn’t loaded. He was too much of a coward to kill himself, so he made others do it. If he had really wanted to kill me, he’d never do it at an airport with so much security around. My father is—was—a selfish, dangerous man who never thought of anyone but himself. “I’ve always been in control of my life,” Cole continues. “Since I’ve met you, though, I’ve been tested. I need it to feel right again, so bear with me, because I’m going to be an over-protective husband and father. Give me time to work through these issues, all right?”
I lean down, kissing his hair like he always does mine. “I understand.”
He kisses my belly then shifts so he’s up on his pillow. “I need to hold you.” I roll into him, tucking my head under his neck. I can feel his body battling with itself to work through what he witnessed tonight.
“Cole?”
“Mmm,” he answers like he’s a million miles away.
“How did my father find us at the airport?”
He waits a beat. “Mark checked with the airline. Looks like he followed us from the courthouse. He was on the same plane.”
“How did he get a gun through security?”
Cole shakes his head. “They have footage of him retrieving it from a locker. He paid someone to leave it there. Mark found the man. He’s just some lowlife looking to make a quick buck. He’s been arrested, and he’ll get a little time.”
“Oh.” I shudder, pushing the thought out of my head. He’s gone, and that’s all that matters now.
“You’re safe now, baby.” He pulls me tighter, lowering his voice and lacing it with a dark undertone. “No one will ever hurt you again. I promise you that.”
I don’t doubt his words, and for once I allow myself to believe I’m going to be okay. I keep quiet after that, falling asleep to the even sounds of his heartbeat.
Chapter Twelve
Cole
Cole tries to hold back a smile. “Steak or chicken?” she asks, holding up both packages. Her tanned belly is peeking out the bottom of her tank top. Her eyes narrow in on him. Shit. “Don’t even, Cole.”
He holds up his hands, but a smile breaks through. She’s so damn sweet. Before he can blink, she’s tossing a bag of chips at him. He laughs, catching them mid-toss.
“I’m sorry.” He heads toward her and snags her around the waist. “You’re the prettiest pregnant woman in here.” He nuzzles her neck and breathes in her scent. Everything comes alive when that smell hits him, sending messages to the part she owns deep within him, the very middle of his heart.
She flinches suddenly, and his training kicks in. His eyes snap up, quickly tuning in to their surroundings.
“Cole,” she whispers, her body stiff as a board. “Ummm.”
He pulls back and sees her face growing pale, but her eyes are telling a different story. They are soft and growing excited.
“Cole, my water broke!”
He drops his eyes to the tiny line of water trickling down her leg, pooling by her pink toes. He quickly pulls out his cell phone. “Mark, it’s time.” She grins when she hears Mark hoot in the phone. Her teeth pull in her bottom lip; she’s nervous. “Okay, baby.” He takes her hand to help her step around her little puddle. “Let’s get you to the car.”
“Okay.” She rubs her stomach and closes her eyes briefly, no doubt calming herself.
He hooks his arm around her back and under her knees, lifting her into the SUV. She suddenly holds her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut.
“Oh, oww,” she cries, taking short breaths.
Cole pulls out his cell, starting the stopwatch. After buckling her in, he runs to the driver’s seat and starts the car, turning the fan up to blow cool air on her damp skin.
By the time they reach the hospital, her contractions are ten minutes apart. They get her registered and in a room before Cole allows himself to relax a little, though he’d never let Savannah know he’s nervous. Good Lord, what if something goes wrong? He scrubs his hands over his face as he lets out a long, bottom-of-the-lung sigh.
“Twenty bucks for your thoughts?” Mark walks up the hall toward Cole. Cole shrugs off his jitters and nods at the man he will always consider his brother. “How is she holding up?”
“Good.” He takes the coffee Mark hands him. “They need to do another exam. I just wanted to give her some privacy.” He shakes his head, chasing away the images from his head. “There’s a lot of people…down there.” He makes an action with his hands. “I thought I might murder someone.” He rubs his hand over his scalp. “I just want her, them, to be okay.”
Mark’s hand lands heavily on his shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze, “Savi’s a fighter, and it stands to reason that little spitfire in there will be a fighter too, just like Mama.” He grins, making Cole feel like he’s got a whole extra set of balls right now. “Besides, you think any of those doctors would piss off the Green Beret in the delivery room?”
Cole laughs, letting the tension go.
“Excuse me, Daddy?” A nurse peeks her head out the door. She looks like a pixie. “It’s time.”
“Go make me an uncle.” Mark smacks his shoulder. “Seriously, give Savi a kiss for me.”
“Yeah.” Cole finds himself grinning. Holy shit, I’m gonna to be a dad.
The clock reads seven, and they’ve been at this for five hours. Savannah’s exhausted, Cole is beyond beat, which is odd because he can usually be up for sixty some-odd hours and still have no problem functioning. But this…this is different, this is his love and his child. His mind slips away momentarily.
Mark glances at Cole through the garage window. The corner of his right eye is bleeding, his lip is cracked, and his arm hangs loose. Cole watches as Mark’s mother grabs a chair and lifts it above her head. He lunges forward, kicking in the window, but by the time his eyes adjust, he sees Mark unconscious on the floor. His mother smashed a chair over her own son. A mother. It’s disgusting. Cole pushes her out of the way and drops to his knees, feeling around Mark’s body. Please be okay!
“Cole, Cole?” Savannah’s voice pulls him from the memory. “Could you hand me some ice water?”
He nods, promising himself that his child will never go through anything like what Mark had to endure.
“Okay, Savannah, I know this has been exhausting for you, and we need to do a C-section. You can’t pass her shoulders, and she is lodged in there pretty tight.” Dr. Brown looks over at Cole, and he feels the blood drain from his face. “It’s routine, and it’s actually less stress on the baby.”
Savi reaches for his hand and gives it a hard squeeze. He pushes aside all his own fear as he looks down at her scared eyes.
“Less stress for the baby and no more pushing sounds like a good plan to me.” He leans down, kissing her lips. “I’ll be right there with you the whole time, my love.”
“Okay,” she sighs, her voice so weak with exhaustion that she barely gets the single word out. “Let’s do this.”
Dr. Brown nods at Cole. “Okay, Dad, you go with the nurse and put on some scrubs. Savannah, we need to get you all set up for the anesthesiologist.”
After thirty agonizing minutes of pacing outside the room, Dr. Brown calls Cole to come in. Savannah is lying on a table, arms strapped down, and a sheet is blocking her view of what is happening.
“Hi, baby.” He moves into her view, grinning behind his mask.
“I feel funny.” She grins, but he notices her whole body is shaking. He looks over at a doctor sitting next to her head.
“All normal. Some people get the shakes, some people get the shivers.” The doctor extends his hand. “Dr. Melnik. I’m the anesthesiologist and an OBG as well. She’s in great hands here.”
“Cole Logan, the father. That’s great to hear.”
“Savannah?” Dr. Brown says over the sheet divider. “Tell me if you can feel this.” Cole peeks over and sees the doctor poke the bottom of her belly.
“No.” Her voice is shaky.
“Perfect.” Dr. Brown grins at Cole but doesn’t warn him when she makes the first cut.
Oh Lord! His knees buckle, but he senses Savannah is watching him, so he pulls it together…somewhat. Her eyes lock onto his, showing terror and excitement all at once.
“You will feel some pressure,” Dr. Brown announces, and suddenly Savannah is being moved about, but she doesn’t seem to notice too much.
Something tells him to look, and before his brain can catch up, he glances over and sees his daughter as she is pulled from her mother’s womb.
Air, movement, chatter, heartbeat, everything stops when his eyes land on his little girl.
“Oh my god!” he whispers in awe.
“No matter what,” Savannah makes him look down at her, “you don’t leave her side. Promise me, Cole.”
“I promise.”
Savannah’s chin starts to quiver, and she bursts into tears when she hears their baby cry for the first time. Cole has to agree, it’s the best sound in the entire world.
He kisses her hand. “I’ll be right back.” He steps up next to the nurse, who is cleaning the baby’s skin and clearing her lungs. She’s crying hard, and his hands itch to scoop her up. He bites his cheek. He wants to yell at the nurse to be careful. Lord, she’s only seconds old! Let me hold her, damn it! His blood pressure is through the roof, and he’s sweating from the damn full body outfit they have him in. All he wants is…
“Here you go, Daddy.” The nurse turns, holding his daughter bundled up like a burrito. “Seven pounds, one ounce, and she has a great set of lungs on her.” She places her in his arms.
As soon as she’s nuzzled up next to his chest, she immediately stops crying. Her little black eyes open and stare at him. Tiny pink lips just like her mother’s latch onto her fist, and she starts to suck.
She’s perfect.
“Hi,” he whispers, feeling tears slip out of his eyes. “I’m your daddy.” He raises her to his face and breathes in her smell, embedding it in his memory. “Let’s go see Mommy.”
Savannah cries again when he holds her out close to her chest. Her arms are still strapped down, so he lifts her up to her face, letting her have skin to skin contact.
“Hi, baby girl.” Savi smiles. “Oh! She has your eyes, Cole.”
Cole grins, thinking everything about their baby is Savannah. That’s why she’s perfect.
After a rather rough bath, so Cole thought, finger and footprints are done, and everything that can be measured and poked is complete, and he finally gets to hold her again. He’s told to hang out in the room in a rocking chair to wait until Savannah is moved to her room.
The wooden rocking chair has a soothing a creak to it, and soon he finds a rhythm she enjoys and they both settle in.
Her little hands are free, and one is jammed in her mouth, making the cutest sucking noise. The other rubs his shirt back and forth. He sticks his finger into her palm, and she quickly latches on, making an adorable coo sound. This breaks the dam, and he starts to cry. He’s emotionally exhausted, something that never happened until Savannah came into his life.
“You have some guests.” The nurse points to a viewing window.
Cole carefully stands and brings her over to window where his mother, Abigail, and June are pressed against the glass. He laughs as they all melt over her.
“Oh, sweet one, you are going to be so loved,” he whispers into her tiny ear. “Mostly by your mother and me.” Her dark eyes peek up at him, almost like she understands. “Daddy’s little girl, aren’t ya?” She makes a tiny squeak, making his heart squeeze.
Savannah is staring out the window when he returns to her room. She looks beat, but when she spots them coming in, her face lights up.
“How is she?” she whispers, holding out her arms.
“Perfect, of course.” Cole waits for the nurse to park the rolling cot next to Savi, then places her in her eager arms.
“Oh,” she sniffs, “hello, my little girl.”
Cole sits so he’s next to them, wrapping his arm around her back. He holds out his finger to the baby, pressing it back into her grasp and loving the bond they already have.
Savannah looks up at him, showing him her beautiful face. “We did it, Cole. We made it to the other side. We’re going to be okay now.”
Cole kisses her shoulder and looks at his little family. “Yeah, baby, we’re going to be just fine.”
She beams, taking a long sigh and relaxing against him.
“Savi?” he whispers, “I think I have the perfect name for her.”
“Oh?”
He leans in and w
hispers. She suddenly turns into his shoulder and breaks into another sob. He knows they are happy tears. It’s the perfect name for her…the perfect name to remember.
***
Savannah
I head to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water. The morning walks Abigail and I have been taking make my body feel like it’s mine again.
I tap the counter, debating do it, or don’t? It’s just sitting there taunting me, calling me to use it. I never have before, but it’s the only way to find him on this massive property. My fingers twitch then retract. Come on, Savi, do it. Fine! I pick up the radio, turning it to channel seven.
“Keith?”
“Savannah?” His voice is confused. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, umm…can I see you?”
“Yeah, I’m outside by the stables.”
The sun is hot, finally, making my face flush as I walk down the pebble path. My long skirt hugs my legs as a breeze swirls around me. My hair blinds me momentarily, as my nose detects a heavenly scent. I love the mountains. Everything feels so fresh and natural. No city smog to ruin the crisp air. No car horns or buses, just nature.
I find Keith fixing the gate, but stop to laugh when I see one of the horses nuzzling his pocket. He keeps grumbling at her to move it along. Finally, he gives up and turns to pat her nose. “You’re needy today, Winnie. I don’t have time to play.” I rest my arms over the rail and watch. The black pony, Winnie, nips at his pocket again. “Really?” He sighs. “Fine, but don’t tell anyone.” He pulls out a half-eaten peanut bar and holds to her mouth.
“I saw that.” I grin and duck under the rail, heading toward them.
“She wouldn’t leave me alone.” He shrugs, acting like it was nothing.
“Whatever, softy, your secret is safe with me.”
He rolls eyes and grabs a hammer. “So, what’s up?” I dig my sandal into the dirt and think about how to start this conversation. Keith and are close, but this is a big deal. He turns to look at me, since I haven’t said anything for the past fifteen seconds. “What’s the problem?”
