“You cannot stay here!” he said desperately. “I am quite happy to talk to you, Nell, but not under this roof.”
“Very well. We will stay with the Graingers at the lodge, and you may explain to everyone of your acquaintance why your own sister had to seek shelter from the gamekeeper and his wife.”
James licked his lips, his eyes skittering over the impassive forms of Harper and Luke Grainger and another footman hovering in the shadows. If there was one thing he liked above all others, even above the comfort of his own armchair before his own fire, it was the good opinion of his neighbours, as Nell knew perfectly well.
“One night?” he suggested tentatively.
“Two at most,” she said, trying not to show how relieved she was.
“Of course. Harper, tell Mrs Millington that Mrs Caldicott will be staying for the night… or two nights. She may prepare the blue room in the north wing. Nell, take your coat off and come into the library.”
She and Louis divested themselves of hats and gloves and coats, and followed James meekly across the hall, their steps echoing in the vast emptiness, its extravagant proportions topped by a glass dome four storeys above them. Louis clung to her hand with painful intensity, keeping his head low. He had never been into such a large house, where everything was built to a grandiose scale. To a child as puny as Louis, the marble pillars must seem to stretch away into the sky. The stairs, wide enough for twelve to walk abreast, and the stone fireplace which burned half a tree at Christmas, would be quite overwhelming to his child’s mind.
“This is where I grew up, Louis,” she said, with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “It may be very big, but it is still a family home. Uncle James used to slide down those banisters when he was your age, and you cannot imagine how wonderful a place it is to play hide and seek.”
He gave her a watery smile, but James turned with a frown and said, “What an idea you will give the boy of me, Nell! Once I did that, just once, and will anyone let me forget it?”
“Oh, do try not to be so stuffy, James,” she said lightly, and he laughed, his face softening for a moment and reminding her of his light-hearted younger self. He had assumed the mantle of the baronetcy at far too early an age, and it sat uneasily on his shoulders.
He threw open the carved door and ushered them through. In their father’s day, the library had been little used, for he had preferred a cosier room in the east wing, but James loved books, so he had claimed the library as his domain. Nell had almost forgotten just how imposing it was, two storeys high and crammed with the avid collecting of many generations of Godneys.
Louis stopped dead, letting go of her hand for almost the first time in two days. As he gazed, awe-struck, at the thousands upon thousands of books crammed into the shelves, he uttered a low growl deep in his throat, animal-like, which slowly rose to become a wail. Then—
“Books!” he shrieked, setting off at a run towards the nearest case. He stopped, both hands pressed against the glass doors, his eyes wide with desire. “Books,” he whispered. “Books!”
James laughed, looking enquiringly at Nell. “Has he never seen books before?”
“Of course, but never so many. I doubt he realised there were so many books in the whole world. I have only the few that were my own, and we cannot afford the subscription to the circulating library. He loves to read, even more than you, James.”
“Cannot afford—?” He looked puzzled, but turned instead to the easier information. “Loves to read, does he? Well, Louis, would you like to choose a book now?”
Thrilled by such generosity, Louis could only nod.
“What would you like to read? Shall I find you something with pictures?”
“Have you anything about the Battle of Minorca? My book only says ‘Following the disastrous loss at Minorca, after which Admiral Byng was executed by firing squad…’ so I should like to know what happened, if you please.”
James’s eyebrows rose, but he answered the question seriously. “I always felt Byng was harshly dealt with, but you may read about it if you will. Let me see… the Seven Years’ War will be down here… hmm… ah, this one is fairly general, but covers that period. Oh, here we are. ‘The Seven Years’ War, the Battle of Minorca and the Disgrace of John Byng’ That is exactly what you want. And here is another about the whole war, in three volumes. You may take them to that desk by the window, for the light is very good there.”
With only a quick nod, Louis set off, balancing the heavy books carefully.
“We shall not have another word out of him now,” Nell said. “If you have meals brought to him, he will likely stay at his post for ever.”
“Well, that will not do,” James said sulkily. “I cannot imagine what you were thinking, Nell, to come here like this, when you could have written.”
“I have written before and received no reply, but this time I must have answers.”
“How could I reply, when Papa forbade any contact with you? Julia will not like it,” he added fretfully.
“This is your house now, James,” she said gently. “You are master here, not Papa and certainly not Julia.”
“Do you still dislike her?” he said, in resentful tones. “You were always against her, right from the start.”
“I neither like nor dislike her,” Nell said, with asperity. “I thought Nora would have made you the better wife, that was all, but I have long since stopped caring about the matter. You have made your choice, and must live with the consequences every day, just as I do.”
His eyebrows lifted at this frankness. “Do you ever regret it, Nell?” he said, and there again was the indecisive young man who had dithered for years over Nora but had, in the end, succumbed to Julia’s greater determination. Yes, Nora would have been a much better choice. “Do you never feel that things would have been different if—”
“There is no point,” she said briskly. For the second time that day, she felt herself on the verge of tears, and that would never do. She would need all her wits about her when Julia returned.
They sat side by side on an ornate sofa, which was a hundred years old at least. In Nell’s day, the fine silk covering had worn so thin that no one was allowed to sit on it, but since then it had been recovered in a less elegant fabric. Probably Julia’s doing, Nell decided. The dilapidated state of the furnishings had always offended Julia, but the family never noticed, being accustomed to it, or simply accepting it as part of the antiquity of the house. The relics of the past were to be preserved, if possible, or if a thing had to be repaired, it should be done in so delicate a manner that no one would ever be able to tell the difference. How like Julia to use some brash modern fabric that was entirely at odds with the rest of the house.
“Whatever happened to the Farlows?” Nell said. “They have been here for ever. I never imagined they would leave.”
“Oh…” He looked embarrassed. “They did not quite suit Julia’s notions. She has some very particular ideas… and she must be allowed to choose her own servants, you know. Mrs Jayne has gone, too. We have a man cook, now, and some very elaborate dishes. Our dinners are very much sought after. Oh… we dine at seven these days, so you need not rush to change.”
“My dear James, I have no intention of dining with you. I shall eat in my room.”
“Nonsense! You were always the liveliest company at dinner, Nell. I have so missed your wit.”
“I have brought no evening gowns, and I am hardly likely to be good company, with my husband barely two weeks’ dead.”
He snatched up her hand from her lap, and pressed a kiss against it. “Forgive me, Nell! You are so composed that… one forgets. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling, and you have come here all alone, knowing—”
“Knowing that I am not welcome?”
There was no one else in the room apart from the absorbed Louis, but James lowered his voice to reply. “You are welcome here, Nell. I wish you could stay longer, and Jack will be very sorry to have missed you, but he
is not down from Oxford until Easter. He has talked of you often, you know, even in Papa’s presence.”
Before she had time to absorb the implications of this, the door burst open and Julia strode in, magnificent in her wrath. When she spoke, however, her voice was icily calm. “I am astonished that you should come to this place as if you belonged here.” Julia never shouted, and her tone was never less than perfectly under control. Nevertheless, she quivered with righteous indignation.
Nell rose. “Hello, Julia. How are you?”
Like James, Julia had gained a little weight, which the present fashion for high-waisted, narrow-skirted gowns did nothing to flatter, and even her best friends could not think her clothes elegant. Everything she wore, however, from the delicately curled feathers on her bonnet to the exquisite stitchery on her kid boots, was of the finest quality, which Nell could only admire and envy.
Julia ignored Nell, turning instead to her husband. “What is she doing here, Sir James? I thought—”
Nell could not help laughing. “Really, Julia! Sir James? When you have known him since the day you were born, and spent every summer chasing him around the garden like a petticoated puppy?”
She coloured, but lifted her chin defiantly. “He was not then a baronet,” she said stiffly.
That brought another laugh. “He is much the same James as he always was, although a little more…cuddly than he used to be,” she said, poking him in the waistcoat. “You are feeding him too well, Julia, and forgetting to chase him out of the house from time to time. He will sit in his chair with a book from dawn to dusk if you let him.”
James laughed, not in the least offended. Julia, however, was offended on his behalf.
“I think he looks rather splendid,” she said huffily, which made even James roll his eyes. “You should have more respect, and to me, too. I am Lady Godney to you, Nell. But this is hardly to the point,” she went on. “I do not know what Sir James was about to admit you, but you will have to leave at once.”
“If we are to be formal, Lady Godney, then in courtesy you should address me as Mrs Caldicott,” Nell said gently, which made Julia turn such a violent shade of puce that she was surely in danger of exploding. Hastily, Nell went on, “I am here only to ask James for his advice about my financial affairs, since he is the head of the family now and my nearest male relative. I shall be gone as soon is that is done, I assure you, and will stay in my room with Louis at all other times.”
“Louis?”
“Her son, Julia,” James said. “Surely you remember? He is eight years of age now, and a great reader.” He remembered his age! There was even a hint of pride in his voice, which brought a little bubble of warmth to Nell’s heart. James gestured to the table where Louis read steadily on, quite oblivious to the tensions in the room, or even aware, perhaps, that there were any other people in the world, lost as he was in the stirring events of fifty years ago.
Julia noticed him for the first time. “You brought the child here?” she said incredulously. “Oh, no, no, no! I cannot have such a… such an appalling influence anywhere near dear Charlotte and Augusta.”
Nell was consumed by laughter again. To name both their daughters after Princess Charlotte Augusta of Wales had always struck her as a great piece of presumption. Before she could recover her composure, James intervened.
“You are ungracious, Julia, to speak so of a boy of whom you know nothing.”
“I know only that he is the son of a common seaman, and therefore no worthy companion for the daughters of a baronet.”
“You place yourself on too high a form sometimes,” he said crossly. “Caldicott was a captain, and not a common seaman. Louis is my nephew and has just lost his father, which I trust will weigh with you and enable you to deal with him compassionately for the short time he is here.”
She huffed a breath, and Nell thought she would have liked to argue the point, but perhaps she felt it beneath her dignity. Whatever the reason, she gave a little lift of one shoulder. “It matters not to me. Let him stay, by all means. Clearly my wishes are of no account in my own house.”
“The house is mine,” James growled, and Nell recognised the abrupt switch from mere surliness to anger. Julia saw it too, for she raised her hands, as if in surrender.
“It is only for a night or two,” Nell said hastily. “Louis will stay in my room, I assure you, and not go anywhere near the nursery.”
“Two nights would be… tolerable,” Julia said. “But no more than that, Nell. After that you must both go.”
“Certainly.” Some mischievous spirit rose in Nell’s breast, for she added innocently, “But you will have plenty of time to get to know Louis later.”
“How so?” Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“Why, because my husband named James as his guardian.”
~~~~~
When Nell was shown to the room she was to occupy, she could not help smiling to herself. How typical of James to put her back in the room she had had as a child! It had been redecorated and was clearly intended for guests, but its position within the same wing as the nursery defined its original use. She could hardly blame James, for it had been her refuge from the world for almost the whole of her first sixteen years. Only when she had successfully navigated the treacherous waters of the season, made her curtsy in the Queen’s drawing room and danced at Almack’s had she been given a rather grander room at the front of the house. And within a few months, she had fallen from grace, married Jude and left Daveney Hall altogether.
She did not mind. The room was familiar, despite the expensive and rather garish new wallpaper. The cracked pane in the window, the drawer in the dressing table that needed to be pulled just so before it would open and the fire irons with dogs carved into the handles were just as they had always been. The maid making up the bed and the footman bringing coals were new to her — how many footmen did they have now? It seemed like dozens. Before long, however, familiar faces peeped round the door, with squeals of ‘Miss Nell! Oh, Miss Nell!’ followed by hugs and tears and more hugs. Bella was first, the junior nursery maid in Nell’s time, but now Julia’s assistant lady’s maid. Then Thelma, now a stately head housemaid, and finally Nurse, who had been at the Hall so long that her right name was forgotten, and she was known only as Nurse.
“You’re far too thin, Miss Nell,” she said severely. “You’re not eating properly in that place you’re at now. Seaports are dreadful unhealthy. And bless my soul, is this your boy? Well now, I never saw a child more in need of some of my nursery dumplings. Stick to your ribs good and proper, they do.”
Louis looked up briefly from his book, clearly decided this was just adult talk and therefore of no interest, and returned promptly to the drama of the Seven Years’ War. Nell wondered how on earth the books were to be prised from his hands when they left, but that was a problem for another day.
“Has he met his cousins yet?” Nurse said, lowering her voice.
Nell shook her head. “Lady Godney does not wish them to become acquainted.”
Nurse tutted, and rolled her eyes. “Too high in the instep by half, her ladyship is. Children have to have friends, and keeping them apart from their neighbours and even from their kin isn’t going to make them any more ladylike, poor little mites. If they were boys, no doubt Sir James would have something to say about it, but with girls, he leaves it all to her.”
“You should not speak against your mistress, Nurse,” Nell said quietly. “I am sure she is a devoted mother, who is doing what she feels is best for her daughters.”
Another tap on the door heralded the stiffly disapproving face of Makins, once a housemaid at the Julia’s former home, but now presumably her lady’s maid. She carried several black gowns over one arm.
“Beg pardon, madam, but her ladyship sent these for you to wear at dinner. They might need a tuck here and there,” she added, looking Nell up and down.
“Thank you, Makins, but I shall not be eating with the family,” Nell said, alt
hough she looked longingly at the gowns. Silk! How glorious it would be to wear good silk again, in the latest style and not reworked a dozen times. Julia may not be the world’s most elegant dresser, but she patronised the very best warehouses.
Makins sniffed, and withdrew huffily, deeply offended that her mistress’s gracious offer should be so peremptorily rejected. Nell was left alone. Seeing Louis rubbing his eyes, she encouraged him to take his precious book to the bed, where even the excitement of the Seven Years’ War could not keep him awake. She sat on by the fire, thrilled to the core by such a good blaze in the bedroom, and two full scuttles of coal at the side to keep it burning. Such luxury! She had taken it for granted when the Hall had been her home, but now she was grateful for any material comfort, however trivial.
For there was no other comfort to be had. Her husband was dead, and although she was relieved to be free from the hideous fear of his anger, he had still been her husband, the first and only man she had ever loved. She would miss him abominably, with his twinkling blue eyes, his wide smile when he first saw her after a voyage and his strong arms. So many memories of those arms — held out to her in love, holding her tight, stroking her face so gently or casually resting one hand on her hip as they lay in bed. She would never share her bed with a man again, and that was a grief to her as great as any other.
The quiet click of the door drew her back from the darkness of her thoughts.
“Nelly?”
“Come in, James, but speak low, for Louis is asleep at last.”
“Poor little fellow! He looks very pale. So do you, but that is not surprising.” He pulled a stool across to the fire and sat at Nell’s feet. “Nelly, will you not join us for dinner? Having brought Julia grudgingly to admit the rightness of your claim to do so, I would not have my efforts wasted. Do come! One of the nursery maids will see to Louis, and I should so like you to be there. We are only family tonight, so you need not fear exposure to one of Julia’s extravagant parties.”
The Widow (Silver Linings Mysteries Book 1) Page 6
