She shook her head, her curls brushing against his coat as she nestled in his arm. “I had too much pride to admit that anything was wrong. Besides, he was my husband,” she said simply. “For better or for worse. We had had the better times, and I just had to endure the worse times until the better times came again. I was sure they would. If only I could be the perfect wife we would be happy again.”
“Nothing you could possibly do would make him change,” Nathan said. “I have seen his type before, and they never reform, never.”
“I know,” she said sadly, “but we were caught in an endless cycle by the time I came to understand that. I was a timid, fearful creature and he was… not the man I married. Or perhaps I should say, not the man I thought I had married. I had imagined that I knew him quite well. He had never talked a great deal about his earlier life before he moved to Southampton, but some men do not talk about themselves, do they? Perhaps his childhood had been unhappy, and the navy — I can understand that a man may not want to talk about war and battle and death once it is behind him. I never questioned any of it, never wondered why he never talked about such things. Now I know. Since his death, a great deal of his history has been shown to be a sham. He was not raised in Ireland, he was never in the navy and we were nothing like as poor as I had thought.”
“Really? You could have afforded tea?”
That raised a small smile. “Tea! How I missed it. Even when it could be afforded, it was the very cheapest. We could have had tea, enough coal, new gowns, paper and ink, books… but we had none of that because Jude kept a mistress in London. She has been living in relative luxury while Louis and I scraped and patched and made do. When I opened the locked box under the bed, I found a book detailing payments going back more than twenty years to someone with the initials ‘EP’, of eight hundred pounds a year.”
“That is a considerable sum.” It was all he could think of to say, for the anger was rising up again, making him wish very strongly that Jude Caldicott were alive and standing before him at that moment, so that he could have the satisfaction of knocking him down.
“It is, and it should have been given to his wife, not his mistress.” There was a long silence, and then, to his delight, she laid her head on his shoulder. In a small voice, she said, “He must have loved her very much.”
“Did he go to London often?” Nathan said, in as neutral a tone as he could manage.
“Oh… I never heard him mention London. No, I think not. He always said he hated London, although he said a great many things that were not true. When he sailed, it was always westerly and then north. Never towards London.”
“Then perhaps it was an old obligation,” Nathan said. “A child to be supported, or promises made. I doubt he loved a mistress as much as he loved you.”
“You are very good to say such things,” she murmured, without moving her head from his shoulder. “You cannot know how much your kindness helped me when I was first widowed. Just knowing that you were willing to stand my friend was the greatest encouragement. I never needed to call upon that friendship, but it helped me to be strong and do what was needful, to stand up to bankers and lawyers — and my brother! It reassured me that there were still generous, compassionate people in the world.”
Nathan was too overcome with emotion to speak a word.
After a pause, she went on, “I am sure that our present position is wildly improper, and the two Macs would be horrified to see us sitting thus, but I confess that your shoulder makes a most agreeable pillow. The sun is so warm that I might even drop off to sleep here.”
He tried not to laugh for fear of joggling her, but he could not suppress a smile of pure satisfaction. “Sleep if you wish, Nell dear, for I am perfectly willing to sit here all day, if it please you.”
“Thank you for listening to my ramblings.”
“Thank you for allowing me the privilege of hearing them. Does it make you feel a little better, to have shared your story?”
She turned her head so that she was looking directly into his face, and her smile made his heart jump about alarmingly. “It does, and to have cried a little. That is the first time I have cried since—” A long pause, then she went on smoothly, “You are such a good friend to me, Nathan.”
He held his breath. She was inches away from him, her countenance open and unafraid. Her lips were so close to his, so close… He had only to move forward the minutest amount… yet he dared not. Holding hands, putting an arm about her shoulder, allowing her to lean against him, sharing confidences — these were the province of a friend. But a kiss… that would change everything. Yet he was not sure he could resist her. Every second she gazed at him with those limpid blue eyes eroded his resolve.
He was saved by the sound of a carriage on the drive.
She jerked away from him at once. “I must go in. If the dowager is up from her rest, she will not want to meet visitors alone, and Jessica is out.”
“Might this be Jessica’s carriage returning?”
“She and Louis were on foot.” She gathered up her scattered sketching things deftly, and pushed them hastily into a bag. With the end of her shawl, she wiped away the last traces of tears, and tied on her bonnet. “There! Do I look respectable?”
“You look perfect… perfectly presentable, as always.”
He was rewarded with a smile, and a demure lowering of her eyes.
“Aunt Amelie may not want to receive callers so soon after her bereavement,” Nathan said, as they set off to walk back to the house. “It is only a month, after all.”
“That is time enough. We had the mayor’s wife on Monday, and a viscountess on Tuesday, and Lord and Lady Gilbert Something yesterday.”
“Lord Gilbert is brother to Harry’s benefactor, Lord Carrbridge.”
“Oh, I wish I had known that! I am so out of society that I have no idea who anybody is, these days. Oh — Lady Craston, that was the viscountess. She was very sweet, but so young. Having done it myself, I do not recommend girls dashing to the altar practically from the schoolroom. My goodness — that is a post chaise, with luggage on the back. Have you any idea who it might be?”
He frowned. “One of the cousins, I suppose, or perhaps the lawyers from London, although they would have written… Jessica did not mention any visitors?”
“No. Oh well, I daresay we shall find out soon enough. You will not run away just yet, will you? The dowager may need your support until Jessica returns.”
“Of course.”
The post chaise disappeared from their view as it neared the front of the house, while Nathan and Nell entered through a rear door and walked through the house to the hall. A man stood there, attired for travelling, and scowling as if he had been served watered wine. Nathan had never seen him before in his life. The stranger was young, only a little older than Nathan, but his clothes looked as if he had selected randomly from a selection of the latest fashions, but without consideration as to whether he looked well in them. Such peculiar colours, and nothing quite fitted as it should. He was an oddity, and from his attitude, Nathan decided at once that he was a pompous bore.
Nell, however, gasped when she saw him. “James? Whatever are you doing here?” She cast her bag of sketching things onto a marble-topped table, the contents spilling out in her haste, and rushed forward.
James? Her brother? Nathan felt his eyebrows rise in surprise.
“I wonder you have the gall to ask me such a question, sister,” he said. “You must guess my purpose, I am sure, and very inconvenient it is too, to be trailing up to the wild north country on such an errand, and at the height of the season, too.”
“I am sure it is,” she said. She looked around, as if suddenly aware of the wooden faces of Craven and the footmen, standing about pretending they were not listening to every word. “Shall we go into the saloon, and you may tell me all about it? Craven, is the dowager up from her rest yet?”
“Not yet, madam. Shall I advise her of Sir James’s arrival?”
The change of room did not disrupt the flow of bile in the slightest. “Ha! I believe you. My coming has put a spoke in your wheel, I make no doubt. I always knew you were incorrigible, Nell, but truly, to see you here, parading yourself about as if it were the most normal occurrence in the world, and pretending to wonder why I am here — it is the outside of enough. I swear you are the most troublesome sister that ever a man had.”
“Really, James, I have not the least idea what bee you have now in your bonnet, but I do wish you had not come. It is most inconvenient, especially if you expect to be put up here.”
“Put up here? I should think not indeed. No, I shall find myself rooms at an inn as soon as I have put some distance between myself and this place of evil. Julia was most distressed, I can tell you, most distressed, and she should not be subjected to such violent emotions, not at this time. Her condition is most delicate and—”
“Oh, James!” Nell said, suddenly beaming in pure delight. “Did you take my advice?”
Abruptly the bluster dropped away, and he looked boyishly embarrassed. “Oh, well… I did, as it happens. Told her that if she had still not recovered after four years, then I was taking her directly to Harrogate to take the waters to see if that had any effect. Worked like a charm.” He laughed, waggling a finger at her. “You always were a clever little puss.”
Nathan watched in silence, quite forgotten by the brother and sister, trying to piece together both the reason for Sir James to descend upon them and the sudden change of subject. The latter was something to do with his wife, and, he guessed, a return to the marital bed after four years. An odd sort of marriage, then, and a wife who was able to ride roughshod over her husband’s wishes. But as for why he had come haring up to Yorkshire, he could not guess.
“But this is nothing to the point,” Sir James said, resuming his offended baronet role without missing a beat. “Where is Louis?”
“Louis?” Nell said. “Oh, is this about your guardianship? Because you could have put it all in a letter, you know.”
“I could not have put it in a letter! What good would that do? Really, Nell, you are positively hen-witted sometimes. Of course I had to come myself, despite the inconvenience. But you need not worry, for I have brought Nurse with me, so he will be well looked after until I can get him home.”
“Home?” Nell said faintly.
“Yes, home to Daveney Hall. Truly, Nell, you could not imagine I would leave the boy here with you, did you? I am Louis’ guardian after all, so I am taking him away to a proper home at once. Where is he?”
Nathan jumped forward just in time to catch Nell as her knees buckled and she fell, limp and insensible.
21: Despair
Nell came to herself with Nathan’s concerned face bending over her. She was lying down on a sofa in the saloon, and somewhere in the distance were raised voices, anxious voices. Was that James amongst them? Then she remembered…
“No, no. You must not try to sit up, not yet,” Nathan said. “Lie still. Someone has gone for smelling salts.”
“But I must. If James—”
“Hush now.” His voice was as soft as butter, and as soothing. “Later. Lie still for now.”
“Sorry,” she murmured. “So sorry… so foolish of me.”
“It was a dreadful shock. I am not surprised you were overwhelmed for a moment.”
The distance voices became louder for a moment, and then one familiar one rose above the others. “Stand aside, Master James, for goodness sake! Where is she? Where is my little lady? Ah, Miss Nell, well now, what a to-do! But I’ll take care of you, never fear. I’ll have you right as a trivet in no time.”
Nurse! Even in her distress, the familiar scolding tones made Nell smile.
Nathan laughed. “Your nurse, or I am a Dutchman. I shall yield to her greater authority.”
“Do not leave me!” Nell cried, in sudden panic.
His lazy smile both thrilled and reassured her. “I shall be right here, never fear.”
And then Nurse was bending over her, feeling her brow, waving smelling salts under her nose so that she half choked, before pronouncing, “You’ll do well enough, I daresay, if Master James would stop harassing you, my pet. I told him how it would be, but would he listen? Never did listen, even as a boy. Still doesn’t listen, and never mind that he’s a baronet. No, lie still, my pet. And where is my precious lamb?”
Interpreting this to be Louis, Nell said, “He has gone out with Lady Harbottle.”
“Lady Harbottle?” James’s scowling countenance appeared above Nurse’s shoulder. “Who is Lady Harbottle?”
“The widow of Sir William Harbottle, whose house this is,” Nell said.
“Oh.” James threw a quick glance at Nathan.
“No, not my house.”
“Ah.” James became thoughtful. He was not a quick-witted man, and clearly this information surprised and puzzled him, but his precipitate arrival began to make some sense to Nell. Brushing aside Nurse’s protests, she slid her legs to the floor and sat up. At once she felt better.
“James, shall I introduce you properly? This is Mr Nathan Harbottle of York, who is cousin to the late Sir William. My brother Sir James Godney, of Daveney Hall in Hampshire, who has jumped to some erroneous conclusions, I fear.”
“Well, naturally I thought— Your letter said you were staying with a friend, and Louis’ letter was ‘Mr Harbottle this’ and ‘Mr Harbottle that’ and ‘Mama’s friend Mr Harbottle…’ It was a natural assumption to make.”
“The friend I am staying with is Lady Harbottle,” Nell said gently.
“Even so, he is obviously running tame in the house, and you are still in full black, Nell. It is not seemly.”
“Mr Harbottle is executor of Sir William’s will, and manages the estate in the absence of the heir. He has every right to be here, James dear, and it is not for you to criticise my behaviour. You declined to offer me any aid, so you have no right at all to interfere in what I choose to do with my life.”
James drew himself up a little, then said with cold disdain, “I do not care what you do, Nell. You are a grown woman and may be as wanton as you wish.” This drew a gasp from Nurse. “But I have every right to look to the moral and spiritual welfare of my ward. You are clearly not a fit and proper person to have the care of a young child, and as soon as he returns to the house I shall remove him from the unsuitable company into which you have brought him.”
Nell could feel the roaring in her ears, but she was determined not to swoon again. She took a deep breath, and then another. Nurse thrust the smelling salts under her nose, and she half choked again, but it brought her back to her senses.
“Well, really, Master James—” Nurse began, then subsided as Nathan shook his head at her.
“Sir James,” Nathan began, “your concern for your ward is very proper, but perhaps you may wish to become better acquainted with Mrs Caldicott’s present situation before you rush to tear a young boy from his mother’s arms. I am sure you would agree that such a separation would be most distressing for the child, and one would want to be very sure of the necessity before taking such a step, which would also be disruptive to your own household.”
“Well… as to that… given my wife’s delicate health… and Louis is so quick that he would benefit greatly from a school…”
Nell shot to her feet. “School! He is eight years old, James. You cannot send him away to school.”
Nathan rested a warning hand on her arm, the other held up in appeal to James, and cut in quickly, “There is much to discuss, but—”
The door opened, and Louis burst in. “Uncle James! Have you brought my book?” When James looked puzzled, he went
on, “The second volume about the Peloponnesian Wars. I only brought volumes one and three away from Daveney Hall. I wrote to you, asking you to send it. Did you not receive my letter?”
Nathan burst out laughing. “I do not think your uncle came all this way just to bring you a missing book, young man. Where are your manners?”
“I beg your pardon, sir.” Louis dropped into a respectful bow. “Good day, Uncle James. I trust you are well.”
In the doorway, Jessica stood, still bonneted and gloved, taking in all that was going on. She would see Nell’s distress, and Nurse with the smelling salts still in her hand, and the attitudes of the two men, James belligerent and Nathan with hands raised in appeasement. She might not know exactly what the problem was, but she would see very clearly that there was trouble.
“What a delightful surprise,” she said now, stepping forward into the room. “Nell, I had no idea we were to expect the honour of a visit from your brother. Would you be so good as to introduce me?”
Nell made the introductions, then said pointedly, “Louis, why do you not take Nurse upstairs to show her the nursery here?”
“Oh, but—”
“You may talk to Uncle James later.”
Nurse understood at once. “Yes, come along, little man. I’ll wager the nursery here is just as grand as at Daveney Hall, isn’t it? Do you have a hobby horse?”
“A rocking horse! That is much better than a hobby horse. It is just like riding a real horse. I wish I had a horse… or a pony. Then I could ride every day…”
Nurse closed the door as they left the room, cutting off his high voice. Nell’s legs would hold her up no longer, and she plumped back down onto the sofa. It was Jessica who took charge, smoothly insisting that James should stay for a night or two, and sweeping him, despite his protests, out to the hall to organise luggage and rooms, and send footmen and maids scurrying about at her command, the perfect hostess. As she left, she murmured to Nathan, “You will stay for tonight too, I hope? Another gentleman…”
The Widow (Silver Linings Mysteries Book 1) Page 21
