“He was my mother’s belore…” I said, thinking aloud.
Toross frowned. “How do you know that word?”
That cold I had felt suddenly turned to burning heat that made my entire body prickle over. “I heard it somewhere,” I lied. “I’ve picked things up since I’ve been here.”
A pause. “Which brings me to a question of my own. How did you get here?”
“I… came through a portal.”
“Obviously. But what portal? And how? When?”
I searched his face, trying to figure him out. I had no doubt he was telling me the truth about my mother, about him. I could see the truth in his eyes, I could smell it on his skin. But if I could do that, then so could he—and he was probably way better at figuring out if people were lying to him than I was.
I didn’t think there was any way around telling him the truth—even if I could take a couple of creative liberties.
I sighed. “I’ll tell you,” I said, “But first, I have another question.”
“I have already answered several.”
“I know, but please. It’s important, and… it may even be relevant to why I’m here.”
I was pushing my luck. I could tell. Exhaling deeply, Toross nodded. “Ask your question.”
“If my mother and father were both here, how did I end up in the human world?”
Toross scanned my eyes, then looked down. “There are two reasons for that. Number one had to do with your father. I said most of us accepted him, but not all. He could not shift, he could not do magic, and he smelled too human for some. There was an attempt on his life by her Beta at the time. Her Beta had wanted to be her mate, but she had given that privilege to a human, and he hated that.”
“Someone tried to kill my father?”
“Very nearly succeeded. Your mother was forced to kill her Beta in combat. After that, her hold on the pack began to slip. She named Ashera her new Beta because she did not trust many of the others.”
“Why not you?”
“That isn’t how packs work. Siblings cannot be in charge at the same time, and Ashera was a far better choice than I. In any case, the attack crippled your father. Around the same time, your mother learned of her pregnancy… and not long after that, she was visited by an emissary of Fate.”
“A what?”
“It is difficult to explain. But the emissary told her you would be special, and that you needed to be protected… and that she would die three days after giving birth.”
Tears threatened to spill again. Toross looked like he was about to stop talking, but I shook my head. “Please… go on.”
He nodded. “She told no one of the emissary’s visit except for your father. Together they formulated a plan to smuggle you out of Arcadia, to put you out of the reach of the rest of this pack. On the night after your birth, she asked me to go with her and your father into the woods.” He paused. “I held you in my arms for the first time that night, moments before your mother opened a portal for me to go into the human world…”
“You… you brought me to Earth?”
“She told me she had made arrangements for you to live with friends of your father. That they were waiting for you, and that they had been sworn never to speak a word to anyone. Not even you.”
“Why didn’t she cross herself?”
“She knew she would not be able to let you go. It was the one thing she understood full well she was too weak to do. The last thing she did for you was lay a human glamor that would last a lifetime, only to do that, she had to give up her own near-immortality. She knew she would die soon, anyway. It was an easy choice.”
“What happened then?”
Toross smiled, as if remembering a fond, but sad memory. “She told you she loved you, that she would always be watching over you… and hoped you would never return to this dangerous place.”
The tears came, now. I pressed my face against the furry blanket to wipe them away. I didn’t open my eyes again. Instead, I just sniffled and sniffed.
“By the time I returned from the human world, your mother and father were… dead. They had died together, quietly, side-by-side and hand-in-hand in the shadow of a tall tree. Burning her body was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t even sure I could speak, but I knew he wanted to hear my side of the story. He needed to know why I was here, and now that he had told me what my mother’s last wish was, he wanted to know more than ever. How long could I keep the truth from him? What would that even accomplish?
Toross reached for my shoulder with his hand and gently squeezed. “I have not enjoyed revisiting this either,” he said. “I had hoped… against hope… never to see you again, but you are here.”
I nodded, still silent.
“I need to know why,” he said, “What brought you back here, where you have been, what you have seen. It’s important.”
“I know,” I said into the blankets. “Could I just have a minute? Please?”
He let go of my shoulder and stood. “I’ll be outside,” he said. “Take the time you need.”
I heard his footfalls as he walked through the woolen curtain between this room and the rest of the tent. I let myself cry, now, allowing my full range of emotions to come spilling out. Gullie had been in my hair the whole time, silently listening. She fluttered to my ear and soothed the back of my neck, as she had done many times before.
“I’m sorry…” she whispered. “I’m here…”
“I know,” I croaked. “I know.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
That minute I’d asked for turned into a couple of hours, although I had no way of knowing exactly how much time had passed. My eyes were puffy and red, my nose was sore from all the sniffing, and my chest hurt like all hell. No matter how much time passed, the pain never seemed to want to fade, not even a little bit.
It was Mira who broke the silence of hours, gingerly entering my tent with a plate of food in one hand and a drink in the other. Melina was with her, standing over her shoulder, watching to see if I would let them both in. Meekly, I nodded, and the girls came and joined me by my bed, sitting on the floor beside me.
“I thought you might be hungry,” Mira said.
I shook my head. “I’m not, but thank you.”
“You need to eat.” She plucked a piece of fruit from the plate and handed it over.
It was warm, and cooked, and it smelled… is that Lerac fruit? Vaguely I remembered, in another lifetime, Mother Pepper liked to make pastries using Lerac fruit because they smelled and tasted a lot like apples, but they were fae fruits. That made them more special, somehow.
The memory reminded me of home, and had I been in another state of mind, that may have made me feel better. Instead, the memory made me pull the blankets up to my eyes again and shut them tightly. Then I sobbed a little longer, quietly, trying to keep it to myself.
“Neither of us know what happened,” Mel said. “Toross came to find us all of a sudden, said you might need someone to talk to.”
I didn’t reply.
“What did he say to you?” Mira pressed, then she lowered her voice. “Was he inappropriate with you? Because I’ll kill him if he did.”
I shot her a mortified look. “Gross, no,” I said, shaking my head, “He’s my uncle!”
“Your… what?!”
I paused. “He really didn’t tell you?”
“We have been told practically nothing since we got here. The Prin—Colin—has been told even less.”
I perked up. “You’ve seen him? How is he?”
“Better. Recovering. He asked for you and I… well, I didn’t know what to say.”
He asked for me. I wiped my tears on the blanket and tucked it under my chin. “It’s probably best that you said nothing.”
Mira brought the fruit to my lips. “Don’t make me force you to eat.”
Reluctantly, I opened the side of my mouth and allowed her to feed me the fruit. I didn�
�t chew, not right away, not until Mira’s eyes widened and she did that thing with her face when she was mad where her nostrils would flare, and her lips would press into a thin line.
I chewed, then swallowed, and even though I wasn’t numb to the taste, I didn’t get any enjoyment from it. It felt empty, bland. When I finished with that piece of fruit, Mira sat back down on her knees.
“Better,” she said, setting the plate down, “But don’t expect me to feed you the rest. Now, sit up and eat.”
“And tell us more about this uncle thing,” Mel asked, “How did that happen?”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Out of nowhere, it feels like,” I said, “I almost don’t believe it.”
“You think he’s lying to you?”
“No. I just… he told me my mother was the Alpha before Ashera, that she fell in love with a human, but she had to give me up because she didn’t want me, a half-breed, growing up here.”
“Smart,” Mira said, “You would likely not have survived Arcadia, even among these people.”
“That’s what Toross said. Apparently, the moon children weren’t too happy my mother had taken a human for a mate. He also told me she’d been visited by an… emissary? I think I’m remembering that right.”
“An emissary?” Mel asked, “An emissary of what?”
“Fate,” I said. I shook my head. “It told my mother I would be special, somehow.”
Mel nodded at the marks on my hand. “It wasn’t wrong. Why not protect you herself, though?”
I clenched my hand into a fist and examined the mark. “Because the emissary told her she would die three days after giving birth, and she believed it. She made preparations to have me smuggled out to the human world. I don’t know how she knew my other mothers, but she must have. By the time Toross came back from his mission, leaving me with the women that raised me, my mother and father were both… dead.”
Saying it stung all over again. I felt my chest constrict over my heart and lungs, making it instantly difficult to breathe. The tears came. I shut my eyes to try to stop them, but it didn’t work. I heard Gullie come buzzing past my ear and flutter somewhere in front of me.
A moment later, a little cloud of pixie dust caressed my cheeks and nose. I inhaled some of it as it passed by, and slowly, the pain in my chest started to subside. Slowly, over time, I regained the ability to take normal breaths, but it was a hard-fought battle even with Gullie’s help.
“This is ridiculous,” I said, as tears freely streamed down my cheeks. “I never even met them. Why am I so fucking sad?”
Mel and Mira remained silent. They were trying their best to understand me, but this was probably something they weren’t used to. I had never seen any of the fae shed as much as a single tear. I wasn’t even sure they could cry, much less understand all of this.
“They were your parents,” Gullie said. “It doesn’t matter that you never met them, your heart knew them.”
I took another deep, cleansing breath and exhaled. “I can’t sit in this bed all day,” I said.
Mira nodded. “I agree. You should get up and start training. These people want you to pass their tests, and it didn’t sound like the Alpha was going to give you a second chance.”
I sat upright, keeping the blanket up and above my chest. “They want me to kill. I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You’re going to have to think of something, then. I’m not sure our chances of escaping this place are very high, even we rode out of here on your back.”
“That’s not happening.”
“The only way out is through, right?” Mel asked. I had taught her that, too. “So, we’ll get you ready, and when it comes time to kill… I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” I said, “If I don’t have it in me to kill anyone, then we’re on a timer. We’d better start looking for a way to get out of here. It’s what Colin suggested, anyway.”
“He asked you to leave?” Mira asked.
“He told me about the reputation these people have. That they’re dangerous, that they’re cannibals.”
“I’ve heard the same stories,” Mel said, “But I’ve also heard about how these are deeply spiritual people motivated by virtues and not vices. It’s up to us, here and now, to try and learn which of those are true.”
I paused. “Well, I haven’t seen them eat anyone yet.”
“Yet,” Gullie put in. “But the night is young, as they say.”
“Even if that’s true, I doubt if you have much to worry about.”
“Yeah, there’s not much meat on me.”
I frowned. “Because you have wings, not because you’re basically a snack.” I shook my head. “And I want you to use them. Promise me, first sign of trouble, you get up into the air and you get out of here.”
“If I was ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble, I’d be long gone by now.”
My stomach rumbled and I side-eyed the plate on the floor. Mira, noticing, picked it up and handed it over to me. A moment later, I was eating fruits and bits of bread, satisfying the hungry animal inside of me that had just woken up from its nap.
“If we’re going to get out of here,” Mira said, “We have to do it at night, under cover of darkness. We also need to coordinate ahead of time considering we sleep in different tents.”
“That’s right,” Mel said, “And you have a roommate to consider.”
Lora. “Shit,” I said after swallowing a mouthful of fruit. “I’d forgotten about her.”
“You’re also forgetting about the whole uncle situation,” Gullie said. “He saved your life out there today. Are you really just going to leave him?”
“I don’t know, Gull. I feel like I owe him, but I also feel like we’re all in worse danger the longer we stay here. Maybe we should just leave in the dead of night—make for the edge of the forest as quickly as we can.”
“We’ve got another problem,” Mel said, “They brought Ollie here, but they couldn’t bring the carriage through the stone circle. It was too big.”
“I didn’t see it the last time I was out there,” I said, “Where is it?”
“As far as I know, parked somewhere nearby. It should still be intact. The only thing is, we’d have to get to it first before we can use it, that means we have to get out of this place on foot with a giant elk in tow. We can totally rule out the stealthy approach.”
I pondered as I thought. “We’ll need a distraction… something to keep them all occupied while we make our escape. This is going to need some seriously careful planning if we’re going to get it right.”
A tense pause moved through the room while the four of us considered just how difficult this breakout might be. There were already a lot of moving parts to think about, and night was fast approaching. As the seconds ticked into minutes, the vast ordeal that lay ahead of us started to come into focus.
We had to scan the camp, search for the fastest route out, and figure out how we all get from our tents to the circle at the top of the hill without being stopped, all before sundown tonight. It seemed like an impossible task, and getting caught probably meant death, but the alternative was worse. Staying here meant being put through another series of grueling training and tasks that would only end one way; in my having to kill someone.
That was something I wasn’t prepared to do, and already reason enough for us to leave. But leaving also meant not having to contend every waking moment with the memory of my mother and father. The longer I stayed here, the more I would want to know, and that was a dangerous prospect all on its own.
Not because I was scared of what I might find out, but because if I learned too much, I might not want to leave.
“I have to tell the Prince,” I said, keeping my voice low. “He has to know what we’re planning—maybe he can help.”
Mira rolled her eyes. “He’ll probably want to take over the entire operation.”
“Men,” Mel put in with a groan.
>
“I won’t let him. This is our plan, and out here, he’s not the Prince anymore. He’s just Cillian.”
Mel grinned. “Are you gonna tell him that? Or is that just your little secret you’ll keep to yourself?”
I cocked an eyebrow, returning the grin. “I already did tell him.”
“And you made it out in one piece. I’m impressed.”
Nodding, I was about to step out of the bed when I realized I was still naked under here. “Uh… did either of you bring—”
Mel reached over to the side and tossed my clothes over to me. “Way ahead of you,” she said.
After getting changed, I headed to the entrance of the tent and glanced outside, Toross was nearby, probably waiting for the other girls to exit so he could come in and talk to me. Mira had agreed to distract him while I slipped out, giving me a chance to watch her work.
She’d been reluctant to do it at first, but as soon as she saw him, that perfect mask of hers came up and she easily captured his attention. I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, but it sounded like was asking about the moon children, about the camp. With those big, violet eyes and a little strand of her hair twirled around her fingers, she’d not only grabbed his attention, she’d also easily kept it.
A little too easily.
Wait a second.
“Is she flirting with him?!” I hissed at Mel.
“I don’t know how she flirts, but… I think so,” she said.
“She can’t do that; that’s my uncle!”
“Don’t worry about her—now’s your chance, go!”
“Hey wait—!”
Mel practically pushed me out of the tent. As soon as I staggered into the open, I ducked off to the side and started moving quickly towards where they were keeping the Prince. I kept my eyes low, tried not to make eye contact with anyone, but I was easy enough to spot, and it made sense, now. They must’ve all known who I was, who my mother was.
It wasn’t just that I had the mark of the white wolf—I was the daughter of an old Alpha, and that kind of put things into perspective.
All the more reason to get out of here.
Marked (The Coldest Fae Book 3) Page 9
