Lily twirled around and giggled. “Oh Lily it’s lovely. Burke well done, it is the most beautiful princess braid I have ever seen.” Tess hugged Lily and held her at arms length taking in her beautiful dress, and her wonky but heartbreakingly perfect braid.
Burke beamed from ear to ear, fatherly pride bursting from his chest. Tess was almost speechless with love for Burke, and his little girl who was growing up before their eyes, so beautifully.
After dropping Lily off at Emma’s house and spending twenty minutes listening to the two six year old girls squealing and hugging, Burke and Tess found themselves alone in the car heading to Cherry Tree farm. The tension was stifling and Tess’ breathing was eratic and juddery. She lurched forward as Burke suddenly pulled over to the hard shoulder and got out of the car slamming the door without saying a word.Tess sat in the car for three minutes. She knew exactly how long it was, because she alternated between looking at the clock and looking at Burke’s back as he stood at a gate staring into the field.
Tess took a deep breath and got out of the car. She leaned against the car bonnet for a moment and watched Burke. He opened the gate and walked into the field, Tess grit her teeth and followed him.
He stopped walking eventually and stood several feet away from her his fingers laced together on top of his head. He looked angry and Tess searched his eyes for answers.
“I can’t do this anymore Tess! I have waited for fucking years for you to notice me! Five years of wanting and waiting and I’m sick of it! I can’t sit beside you and be near you and not tell you. I fecking love you Tess O’Malley. I love you so much that it hurts. I want to be your friend, I cherish our friendship more than any other but I love you. I’m hopelessly and pathetically in love with you. And that’s the truth.”
Tess stared at him and her jawed dropped open. He loves me. He loves me! She closed her mouth and stared at him. Then she moved. She walked forward for what seemed like forever until she was inches away from his face.
And then she kissed him.
Annie O’Malley slowed down when she saw Burke’s car pulled in beside the ditch near Murphy’s field. She looked at her uncle Pa in the passenger seat and saw the worried look on his face.
“Jesus Tess, that’s Burke Nason’s car. Do you think he’s all right?” Annie pulled up alongside Burke’s car and craned her neck to look out into the field. She heard the gasp from her uncle Pa as her headlights illuminated Burke and Tess wrapped in a passionate embrace. Annie’s mouth sagged open. Pa tapped her lightly on the arm.
“Keep drivin’ Annie, there’s a good girl.” Annie put the pedal to the metal and drove on, a look of pure shock on her face. She turned to her uncle Pa.
“Did you see….?”
“I saw girl, and couldn’t be happier.”
Annie nodded. “Well good. Good.”
“We’ll say nothin’ Annie.”
“No. Of course not.” As they pulled into Cherry tree farm her uncle Pa jumped out and opened the door for Annie. She looked at him and widened her eyes smiling. Widely.
“Get me a brandy please Annie, better make it a double.”
“Will do uncle Pa. I might have one meself.”
Annie’s phone beeped and she pulled it out of her pocket. It wasTess. Annie sniggered as she read the text message.
Not going to make the party, not feeling great. Have fun!Talk to you tomorrow, love ya, Tess.xx
Annie grinned and shoved her phone back in her pocket. Good on you Tess, you finally found your one!Starin’ ya in the face you big eejit!
Burke and Tess crashed through the door of Pear Tree cottage and Tess felt her bum bang against her kitchen table. Burke pulled away from her suddenly.
“Wait! Wait! Tess, I want to make love to you slowly. I want to…”
“Shut up and fuck me Burke.” Burke looked into her eyes and raised one side of his mouth in a smile.
“Well. Okay then!”
He stripped her coat off and tore open the buttons on her silk blouse. Lifting her
onto the table he pulled his jumper over his head with Tess pulling his arms out of his sleeves. His eyes never left hers as he unbuckled his belt, she pulled him by the waistband until he was inbetween her legs. Pulling the buttons of his jeans open, she reached one hand into his boxers and felt him stiffen and gasp at the first touch of skin on skin. Her hand encircled his cock and he shuddered under her grasp. Lifting her up inches off the table he pulled down her skirt and tights.When they were both naked he lifted her, his hands under her thighs and carried her to the bedroom kicking open the door. Laying her gently on the bed he stood over her as she panted, her breath hitching in her throat at the magnificaent sight of him. Tess reached for him and pulled him down beside her, mounting him she moaned as she held him in one hand and lowered herself onto his cock. Burke whistled between his teeth and cried out.
“Jesus, Tess.”
“Fuck me hard Burke,” she repeated. He grabbed her, positioning a hand on each side of her hips and he lifted her up holding her aloft for a second, before crashing her back down on top of him. Again and again he lifted her repeating the movement. She surrounded him and enveloped him holding him tightly in place. He cursed and moaned into her hair, as she rested her forehead against his. Their sweat mingling and making her hotter for him, wetter for him. Her eyes never left his as they got lost in a rythem that brought them both to the brink of the sweetest agony. It was more than physical, it was mind fucking, soul fucking. She leaned her head back, her hair covering the length of her back and moved slowly in a circular motion suddenly quickening the pace as she moved forward and back, side to side riding him with reckless abandon.
“Now,” she cried and he turned her over roughly onto her back and began to pound into her, the pace leaving them both breathless and panting. Tess’ legs wrapped around him and shook with the force of their fucking. She came hard, her muscles clenching around him as he bit into her shoulder, crying out that he loved her, he loved her, he loved her and then came inside her.
Later they lay together in front of the fire on the sheepskin rug, wine and food spread around them. Jazz belted out from the stereo and Tess lay her head back on Burke’s chest, a feeling of pure bliss wrapping her in a warmth unlike any she had ever felt. Burke entwined her legs with his and stroked her hair, his eyes never leaving hers.
“I love you Tess O’Malley.” Any fear of rejection, any doubt at her recipration of the same feelings was long since banished from his mind. Tess looked up at him and in that moment it didn’t matter. The forever didn’t matter. The need for the perfect life, the perfect family, the need to find ‘The One’was gone. This was enough. The here, the now. If she never had all those things that she thought she wanted or needed, that was fine. This was enough. This one night of feeling loved and completely wanted was enough.
The future would be whatever was it was meant to be. As long as it contained Burke and Lily then it didn’t matter how it played out. She was happy, she was alive and she was loved.
This was enough for her.
This was enough.
Christmas Eve a year later
Tess bent down on her knees and looked at Lily as she fitted a little tiara to the top of her head. ”Now, that’s Perfect.” Lily’s eyes were anxious and wide.
“Are you okay lil? Are you happy?”
Lily nodded and then bit her bottom lip anxiously.
“What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?” Lily nodded again and spoke in a soft quiet voice.
“I want you to be my mummy. But. What about my other mummy?”
Tess smiled softly and stood up. She walked over to her chest of drawers and pulled the top drawer open. Carefully moving aside bits of paper and ends of ribbon and string, she found what she was looking for, a little royal blue velvet box sat nestled in-between the odds and ends. Tess rubbed her finger across the top gently, and grabbed it snapping the drawer shut. Lilly pushed her hair behind her ears and looked on curiously
as Tess sat down on the couch and patted the space behind her. Lily smiled widely at her and plonked herself down beside Tess, linking her arm.
“I have something for you Lil, a present from me to you.”
“What is it?” Lily asked her brown eyes wide and excited. Tess pressed the ring box into lily’s palm and waited anxiously as her small delicate hands opened the box. Tess heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled. It didn’t matter the age or the familiarity of the recipient, when someone opened that little box and got that first glimpse of your creation, it was golden.
Lily’s reaction was extra special though, and Tess felt suddenly exposed and shy. She put her hand under her chin and rested her cheek into her palm.
“It’s a star,” whispered Lily with reverence.
“Not just any star Lily,” said Tess.
“It’s called Sinead’s special star. It’s your mammy’s star.”
“Is it really Tess? What does it mean?”
Tess took the necklace out and gestured to Lilly to hold up her hair as she tied the Silver Star around lily’s slim neck. The centre of the star sparkled brightly, the most beautiful sliver of a diamond embedded into its surface.
“When I think of your mammy. I think what a beautiful lady she was and how she gave me the most beautiful gift.”
“What did she give you?” Lily interrupted eagerly.
“You. She let me know you. And love you and your daddy.”
“Why did she not want to keep us?” Lily kicked her legs out in front of her and examined her shoes, her eyes hidden. Tess knew the movement well. The seemingly nonchalant expression on Lily’s face was a question loaded with hurt and pain and something else. A bright spark of hope. Somehow she had to give Lily the answer that she needed. The right answer.
“Your mammy Sinead had to leave Lily, as much as she wanted to stay. Sometimes when the stars are not shiny enough they need a bright new star to shine in the sky. And your mammy Sinead was so bright that the stars need her to come up there and help them.
She didn’t want to leave you or daddy, but she had a special job to do.” Lily nodded, her face scrunched up in thought.
“What if the stars need me to shine, or you or daddy? Will you all go away? Will I be left on my own?” Tess’ heart broke for Lily and her childlike fear of abandonment; she inhaled deeply and held Lily’s small hand in her own.
“When my mammy went to heaven, when I was a small girl I wondered about that too Lily. But, they took your mammy up to heaven to light the way for you and daddy. So you need to stay down here with daddy and me, and your mammy needs to stay up there to be your guiding light. Your special star. Is that okay Lily?”
Lily snuggled into the crook of Tess’ arm and fingered the little Silver Star between her fingers.
“Can I have two mammy’s Tess? Mammy Sinead and Mammy Tess?”
Tess bent her head to the side so it rested lightly on Lily’s head. She closed her eyes and let the hot tears leak from the corners.
“Yes Lily, you can have whatever you want. Whatever you would like. I can be Tess, or mammy Tess, or anyone you want me to be.”
“I think you can just be mammy Tess, and then mammy Sinead won’t be sad.” Tess nodded enthusiastically. “Mammy Tess sounds perfect.” Lily shivered and Tess jumped up and wrapped Lily’s faux fur shrug around her shoulders, fastening the diamante clasp with a click.
“Now Lily, all ready and so pretty.”
Lily laughed and hugged Tess around her waist.
“I love you mammy Tess.”
“And I love you Lily.”
Lily ran to the door and pulled it open, she waved back at Tess and slammed the door loudly after herself. Tess turned to the mirror and took in the sight reflected in front of her. Her caramel coloured hair was pulled back at the sides with two diamond clips and flowed down her shoulders in thick loose waves. The snow-white wedding dress was a tight bustier with a full tulle skirt, princess like, of course! Tess pulled up her boobs and put both hands on the side of her face. This is happening! Tess O’Malley you are getting married! And getting married to a man you love. The one made just for you. The door opened and Annie threw her head in.
“Jesus girl, you’re lovely. Now come on to feck, will ya.” Tess scowled at Annie as she peaked around the corner.
“I’m coming Annie. Can I not just enjoy this one moment without interruption?" Annie stuffed three battered prawns into her mouth and rolled her eyes.
“Well girl, there’s a doctor outside who will need a doctor if you don’t hurry on. The poor lad is beside himself.”
“Oh God,” Tess grimaced. “Is he okay?”
“Okay, in love, wound up, all of the above,” Annie waved her hand and shrugged her shoulders.
Tess’ dad Pa walked in and smiled at Annie, who smiled back and kissed him on the cheek as he wiped his eyes roughly with a handkerchief.
“Have fun uncle Pa, ya look great so you do.”
“Thank you Annie and you look great yourself.” Annie smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, I know. But, don’t be saying that in front of the bride, I don’t want her to feel bad.” They laughed at each other nudging and winking.
Tess felt her own eyes begin to fill. Annie came towards her and put her arms out, Tess folded into them. Annie whispered into her ear.
“You deserve to be happy. Remember that T, this is your time, your happy ending. He’ll treat you right and you’ll be a great mammy for little Lily. Be happy Tess.”
Annie hugged her tightly and Tess felt her cousin sigh against her. Annie backed away from her and threw a peace sign as she left the room. Her father moved over beside her and took her hands in his.
“You look beautiful my love. Your mother would be so proud of you. She would have been in her element here today.”
Tess nodded at her father, love bursting from her chest. Her dad looked so proud of her. And she was proud of him too; all washed and cleaned like a shiny new penny instead of his usual farmers welly boots and woolly hat. He had scrubbed up well, and the lads had taken him to the suit hire place in the city to get him decked out for the occasion. He put out his hand and dropped something into Tess’ palm. Looking down she gasped as she saw her mothers beautiful sapphire engagement ring. She had admired it for hours on end as a young girl, the beautiful heart-shaped sapphire surrounded by a halo of diamonds.
“But…this was mammy's ring,” Tess started to protest. Her father held his hand up. “She would have wanted you to have it. It’s time to let go of the past Tess. The future is still wide open. Wear it and remember her as she was.” Tess nodded and slipped the ring on the ring finger of her right hand.
“I’ll treasure it forever, thank you dad.” Tess raised her eyes to his and saw the same cornflower blue eyes smiling back at her. They held each other’s gaze for a moment. “Well, are you ready?” he asked her.
“As I’ll ever be,” she replied as they headed towards the door. Tess took a deep breath and waited as her cousins Rory and Rían opened the doors to the chapel for her to enter. She heard the intake of breath as she stood at the end of the aisle her arm linked with her fathers. Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in the crowds of family and friends that stood in front of her. All smiling at her, murmuring about how beautiful she was, wishing her luck as she floated passed them towards the altar. Her eyes found Burke and she laughed silently when she saw the nervousness of his face. He stood with Tom and Ciaran and the rest of her brothers. Tess’ eyes held his and he nodded slightly at her, his face transforming when he caught sight of her.
Looking down at Lily, Burke squeezed her hand gently. Lily winked at him and turned to watch Tess walk up the aisle to the wedding march.
“Happy Christmas Lily,” he whispered.
“Happy Christmas daddy,” she replied smiling.
Later on that evening, Tess and Burke stood at the double doors that backed onto the outside winter garden of the castle grounds. Sipping a warm mug of
mulled wine Tess sighed and rested her head against Burke’s shoulder. Lily was running around the garden with Annie’s two girls Katie and Junie who were already showing signs of being as wild as their mother. The three girls were the best of friends, and wherever they were, mischief was never far behind.
Burke turned to Tess and took the cup off her placing it down on a nearby stone kerb. He put his hands tenderly on either side of her face and kissed her softly on the mouth savouring the sweet scent of spices on her breath.
“I love you Tess. You are my everything.”
Tess snuggled in to Burke’s chest and revelled in the warmth of his embrace. She had spent so long looking for the one she hadn’t realised that she would end up with two. “I love you too, everything is just perfect.”
And as they looked out into the garden, a smattering of white fluffy snow fell softly around them. Tess squealed and dragged Burke out into the grass. She twirled around in her dress and threw her arms up into the sky. Lily and the twins ran over and joined in catching snowflakes as they fell. Burke lifted Tess up into his arms and swung her around laughing. He stopped suddenly and held her mid air her lips a few inches above his own. Dropping her down so they were at eye level he kissed her sweetly on the lips as she threw her arms around his neck. Watching at the window Annie O’Malley smiled smugly to herself.
Even those who think they are destined to be alone cannot alter the hand of fate. Be happy my loves, be happy.
The End
Table of Contents
Winter Wonderland
Dedications
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Winter Wonderland: An O'Malley Christmas story (The O'Malleys Book 2) Page 7
