by JC Cassels
He snorted. “Your father showed a little more restraint when I did it to him.”
“When did you…” Understanding dawned. “When you and Royce found him. So that means Papa and Royce both knew…”
He nodded.
“They both tried to tell me to stop lying to you. They understood why I was doing it, but they didn’t approve. Bhruic especially,” he sighed. “I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. No more lying or manipulating to make you stay. Bhruic was right. That’s no basis for a marriage. That’s Andre’s way of doing things, and I am not my father.”
“Who are you?” She pressed her palms to her forehead. “I don’t even know you. Every time I think I know who you really are, you pull some boneheaded shit like this that just drives home the point that everything about you is a lie!”
“I never asked to be Daavin Marin, and nobody ever gave me a choice. Look, I was twelve years-old when Andre came to the Fasi home and told me who I was. He told me that if anyone found out I was his son, they’d kill me and anyone I cared about. I didn’t believe him until Niall’s ‘accident.’ That’s when I truly understood what he meant.”
He searched her face. “Yes, everything about me is a lie because it’s had to be. To stay alive, I’ve had to pretend to be someone I’m not, every day of my life. I’m tired of pretending, Bo. I don’t want to be that man with you. The only man I want to be is the one who loves you – the one you love and trust.”
Against her better judgment she felt her resolve begin to weaken. “I want to believe you, Blade. Maker knows I do.”
“What do you want me to do? Tell me what I can do to fix this. How can I prove to you that all I want to do is spend the rest of my life with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, hell.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the bulkhead.
She shifted, hugging her knees to her chest. Bo rested her chin on her knee.
The faint rumbling of Sundance’s hyperdrive engines filled the silence. The hiss of air passing through the ventilation system grated on her already raw nerves. The ship’s chronometer clicked steadily, marking the passage of time.
“I can prove to you that it’s not just about the Black Wing,” he said at last.
Warily, she looked to him.
“You know my secrets,” he said. “I know yours.”
Her blood chilled. “Do you?” she said carefully.
He nodded toward the lounge. “I know that Bhruic left you instructions before he died. I know you named me as your successor.”
Was that all? She let out a breath in relief.
“I should have known that was your idea,” she said.
“Not mine. Your father’s.” Blade smiled. “If I were your successor, Galen would have lost everything by killing you. Keeping you alive and in exile was the only way to maintain their power. It was the only way to stop the attempts on your life. My love, if all I’d ever wanted from you was the Black Wing, all I would have had to do was kill you and I would get it all.”
She sighed. “It makes a nice story, but if you had killed me, you would have lost your right to succession.”
“You know me. Given the circumstances, if I wanted the Black Wing, do you have any doubt that I’d have been able to kill you in such a way as to not compromise my right to succession? Think about it.” He plucked at the front of the EVA suit he still wore. “For that matter, why would I have come after you in this thing if all I wanted was the Black Wing? I could very well have left you out there to die.”
Indeed. She hadn’t considered that.
Bo reached up and pulled herself to her feet with the bulkhead handhold.
“Where are you going?”
She didn’t bother to look at him. “I need a drink.”
She made her way into the lounge. Behind her, the EVA suit rustled as he rose and his heavy boots clomped on the deck plates as he followed her.
Bo opened the cabinet and pulled out a pair of glasses, setting them on the galley table. She knew he would want one too. She didn’t have to ask. The EVA suit rustled and thumped against the deck plates as he divested himself of the heavy garment.
She opened another cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Gallis Rye and a bottle of Old Arturian. In the past, he’d always changed his preferred drink according to which alias he happened to be using at the time. Whenever he’d been Blade Devon, he’d reverted back to Old Arturian. It was how she’d known truth from lies back in the day.
He stowed the EVA suit in a locker and met her stare with a small smile.
Bo held out the glass in silent invitation. Without hesitation, he took it from her and nodded his thanks. She lifted her own and contemplated the dark amber liquid as she struggled with her roiling emotions.
“You know, that Lahtrecki priest thing of mine, I can feel most of what you’re feeling, Bo.”
“Oh?” She took a long drink and avoided looking at him. “Then maybe you can help me out, because I couldn’t begin to tell you what I’m feeling right now.”
His smile faded. “No more secrets, Bo. It’s time we were honest with each other.”
He moved to the imaging pad and tapped in a command.
Bo’s spine stiffened as the image from Ian lit up the display.
“We call him Dash,” Blade said.
The holographic image of Chase and the boy drew her gaze like a moth to a flame. She studied the child’s face, searching for the infant she’d left.
Dark, serious brows arched slightly over large eyes that gleamed with mischief – Blade’s eyes in Barron amber. His expressive mouth widened in an infectious grin. Dimples dented his chubby cheeks.
No more secrets.
Tearing her attention from her son, she forced herself to look at his father.
No accusation.
No anger.
He regarded her with inscrutable patience.
He knew.
He’d known for some time, from the looks of things.
She drained her glass in a single swallow and poured herself another.
“I know you named him Chase, but that got confusing so… What do you call a short chase?”
Her lips twitched. “A dash.”
He nodded.
The chronometer clicked.
The vents puffed away in hushed tones.
She licked her dry lips. “How long have you known?”
“I knew he was ours the first time I set eyes on him.”
He moved closer and set his glass on the table. Taking her drink from her hand, he set it beside his own and took her hand in his. He turned her wrist and ran the tip of his index finger along the three freckles in a line.
“He bears the Barron’s Mark, just like you…just like your father.” With a finger under her chin, he tilted her face to his. “And there is no mistaking the Barron eyes,” he said. “When I look at him, I see you, and I see me. He’ll tilt his head like your father when he’s thinking deep thoughts. He’s got Royce’s attitude when he knows he’s right…he’s as demanding as Andre when he wants his way. Chase says he’s as reckless as I am.”
Bo studied his face.
His brow furrowed and pain lined his eyes. His mouth tightened and he looked to the holo once more. He swallowed hard. “Why did you give him to Chase to raise?”
The naked hurt in his voice shamed her to the core.
She followed his stare. “I knew that Chase would love him because he was yours. I knew that you would protect him if he were your brother’s.”
He cleared his throat. “You could have come to me,” he said, his voice hoarse with regret.
“I thought you…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t risk our son’s well-being on the chance that woman was telling the truth.”
His hands slid up her arms and he searched her face. “And now?” he asked. “What do you think? Was she telling the truth?”
Was she?
“Tell me you weren’t anything but a job to me,” h
e said through clenched teeth. His voice broke with emotion as he fought to maintain control.
Bo met his level gaze.
“Can you tell me that I never loved you?” he said. “Tell me that I wouldn’t fight for you, that I wouldn’t give my last breath to keep you safe. Tell me that it didn’t break me to walk away from you when you threw me out. Can you tell me that?”
His eyes, the color of the bluestone found in the Gallis Highlands, reflected every millimeter of the same loss and pain that had torn holes in her soul for the past five years.
Oh dear Maker – what had she done? What had she done to the both of them? To their family?
Closing her eyes, Bo lowered her chin to her chest as the last shadow of anger and resentment faded. “No,” she whispered. “Oh, Dev…I thought you’d be angry,” she said. “I was afraid that if you found out, you’d refuse to help me.”
“Because you knew you were pregnant when you threw me out?”
“Yes.”
When he didn’t respond, she peered at him.
“I’ve seen too many cases of fathers discarding their children because they don’t love the mother. He needed you to protect him even if you didn’t love me. I couldn’t be sure you would if you knew he were mine. But I knew you loved your brother.”
“I love you.”
The softly spoken words, so warm and earnest, wrapped around her like a comforting embrace.
Bo met his gaze. “In spite of everything?”
He smiled and searched her face. “You are my everything.”
The simple, earnest declaration cut through the last of her reserve.
Tears burned her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
His smile faltered. “That I love you?”
She shook her head. “That I threw you out,” she said. “That I didn’t tell you. That I didn’t give you a chance…” Tears blurred her vision.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. “Oh, love, I forgave all that a long time ago.”
Closing her eyes, Bo burrowed into his chest. Five years of solitude and uncertainty fell away. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe…and loved. She didn’t care how her grip wrinkled the expensive fabric of his dinner jacket. In his arms she was home at last.
He tenderly stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. He buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply, savoring her nearness.
“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he said. “Do you know how hard I had to work keeping my hands to myself? Now that I have you in my arms, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go.”
Closing her eyes, Bo sighed and sagged against him. “What a mess. What are we going to do…? This doesn’t solve anything. It only makes it worse. I can’t be married to a Marin. This is going to start a war.”
She drew a breath to continue, but he cut her off with his hand over her mouth.
“Just stop,” he said. “Not once have you ever been able to enjoy a single minute of our relationship before you start dredging up all the reasons we can’t be together.”
With a sigh, he set her away from him and took her hand, leading her to the sofa. “I’ve got news for you, this war started long before either of us was born. Tahar said that you and I were the solution, not the problem, and we need each other if we hope to survive what’s coming.”
Bo sat, waiting for him to settle in beside her. “And you believe that?”
“I do.” He pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms securely around her once more. “Though, at this point, I’d believe anything that went along with you and me spending the rest of our lives together. I love you, Bo. Next to that, nothing else really matters.”
Drawing her index finger along his bearded jaw, she traced his chin and the hint of a dimple the whiskers hid from view. She searched his face. His bluestone eyes held no trace of deception, only anticipation, and a bit of…insecurity.
Daavin Marin. Blade Devon. Dev Fossey. Darien Roarke.
Quelling all of her niggling doubts and fears, Bo rested her head on his shoulder and finally surrendered. This was right. It had always been right.
“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to call you,” she said.
“Dev…Blade…flyboy…anything but ‘My Lord,’” he said. He kissed the top of her head. “There’s only one man I want to be, Bo. I want to be the man you saw when you couldn’t see at all. That’s the man you fell in love with. I don’t know what to call him. I’ve gone by so many damn names, I don’t even know anymore. They’re all me and none of them are. Pick something. I’ll answer to whatever you choose.”
Bo took hold of his left hand, turning it, studying his ring. She ran her fingertips along the woven metal band. Despite everything, he had never given up. He had always kept the faith that fate would bring them back together. There was something humbling in that.
“Husband.” She smiled up at him.
She shifted in his lap, swinging her leg over his, straddling his thighs as she turned to face him. She set his hand on her hip and reached for the other.
She pulled his right hand to her and tapped his palm until the light flashed. She traced the outline of the flash on his palm.
“Sovran.” She peered up at him. “That’s going to take some getting used to.”
With an impish grin, she placed his hand on her other hip and wriggled closer. Bo slipped her arms around his neck. His fingers curled into the soft flesh of her hips. Bluestone colored eyes watched her every move.
“Husband or Sovran, Bo?”
She was tired of lying. Tired of pretending. With a sigh, she let go of the struggle.
“My love,” she whispered.
His pupils dilated. “What did you say?”
“My love.”
He grinned. His hands gripped her hips. “Are you saying that you love me?”
“I love you.”
His grin widened. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His ebullient joy was contagious. Bo threw back her head and laughed as a great weight lifted from her heart.
“I love you, Blade Devon!”
She cried out in surprise as he snatched her against his chest. His hot mouth covered hers, stealing her breath. His hard arms tight around her, he lifted her and rose to his knees. Bo’s world shifted as he gently lowered her to the seat cushions.
“But your lip…”
“I’ve waited seven years for you to say that,” he said. “Hell, you can knock out a few teeth if it makes you happy, but I’m still going to kiss you.”
He buried his face in her neck and covered her throat with kisses.
Bo giggled and squealed as his whiskers tickled her sensitive skin.
“Maker help me, I do love you.” She sighed. “I always have.”
His hungry, desperate mouth took hers again, stoking the fire deep in her belly.
He shrugged the dinner jacket off his broad shoulders and stripped his arms out of the sleeves. He tossed it aside.
“My quarters…”
“Too far,” he said. He kissed her again and peeled off his shoulder holster.
“But my bunk…”
“Stop talking.”
She shoved hard against his chest. “Blade! The flight recorder!”
He stilled. After a moment, he rested his forehead on her collarbone. His shoulders shook with silent laughter.
“I really don’t care,” he said at last, lifting his head. His lips curved in a devilish smile. “It’s not like we’ve never done it for the cameras before…”
“You idiot.” Bo brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead and lightly caressed his cheek.
The look he gave her was purely carnal. “Since when did you become a prude, my little Joy Babe?”
Bo’s face heated. “You’re a Sovran,” she said. “It’s indiscreet.”
“Indiscreet?” He climbed to his feet and unfastened the cuffs of his white shirt. “I was a Sovran when we locke
d ourselves in the janitor’s closet to knock off a quick one at The Watchtower premiere. That was far more indiscreet than this. Gossip reporters applauded when we finished, remember?” Looming over her, he quickly worked the fasteners at his throat, baring his chest before pulling the garment off over his head and tossing it in the general direction of his jacket. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”
Her mouth went dry. She tried to swallow and failed miserably. Like a starving woman, her gaze greedily devoured his naked torso, lingering on the scar that trailed along his hard stomach and disappeared into his trousers.
She blinked at him. “I’m sorry, what were we saying?”
“My love, I want you – right here, right now,” he said in the low, sultry tone she couldn’t resist. “I have no doubt I am going to want you many, many more times before we get to Trisdos. So if you have any real reason we shouldn’t do this here and now, I suggest you speak up. Otherwise…”
Bo sat up and, drawing her legs under her, rose to her knees in front of him. Taking hold of his belt, she pulled him closer. “Stop talking,” she said.
***
“Sir, we’re coming up on Trisdos.”
Swallowing hard, Chase leaned forward and peered out the viewport.
“You’ll be fine,” Tese whispered.
“I would feel a lot better if Dev were here,” he said.
Kendall descended the steps from the flight deck. His gaze flicked dispassionately over them. The rise and fall of his shoulders was the only indication of his annoyance. He leaned over and braced his hand on the arm of Tese’s seat.
“Do something to calm him down,” he said softly. “He looks like he’s about to be sick. If he can’t stall them until Blade shows up, we’re all going to end up dead.”
Tese smiled sweetly at him. “Comments like that are most unhelpful, Agent Kendall.”
“The truth hurts, sweetheart. Fix it.”
Tese popped her g-lock and rose. Standing in front of Chase, she took handfuls of her skirt and lifted it, baring her legs.
“Tese, I don’t…”
Shushing him, she straddled his lap.
He shifted, uncomfortably aware of the security detail sitting behind them, no doubt getting an eyeful.
