“Je suis desole,” I murmured as I came to stand in front of her. “I’m sorry. This shit has always been hanging over my head. I should have never gotten involved with you. You were married and an old lady when I met you, but I stuck around. Torturing myself as I watched you with Tru and then Tru with other women. Obligation to my fellow brother kept me silent, and I hated it. I hated watching you hurt, but worse than the hurt was the love. I hated watching you be loved by someone else, be touched by someone who wasn’t me.”
“It wasn’t the type of love you think it was,” she interjected. “It was the love of my best friend, not the kind of love a husband should have for his wife. We never had that. I got pregnant and everything happened so fast. I was an old lady and then a wife. I was so young. Amber and I had nothing. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant. Tru stepped up and took us both in. I had no money, no insurance, but Tru fixed that by making me his. We both thought it was for the best. We both thought the love we shared was enough . . . until it wasn’t. We were never in love. Best friends who got drunk and had sex. An awkward situation that turned serious when I found out I was pregnant. But Tru did right by the boys. He could just never do right by me.”
“I didn’t know.”
“No one really did, except Amber. Our marriage wouldn’t have lasted much longer anyway. He hadn’t slept a night at home for about three months before all the shit with the Hellhounds started. Tru was a great dad, but a lousy husband.” Emma jested, but the smile had returned to her face. “I miss him.” I nodded, knowing how hard it was for her to lose him. “But not nearly as much as I have missed you while you were away these past two months.” Her revelation blew my mind.
“What?”
Emma cupped my face, pulling me to her. “It’s true Gun. I missed you so much.” Then she kissed me. It was amazing. I never thought I would feel her lips on mine again after telling her about Baton Rouge, but here she was kissing me . . . telling me that she missed me. I was whole. No more missing pieces, no more cut in half to serve the club and be with this woman.
“Cher,” I breathed. “What about . . .”
She kissed me again, cutting off my question. After several long moments, our lips parted and my forehead touched hers. “I don’t know,” she said answering my unfinished question, “but we will figure it out. All I need is for you to tell me there is no one . . .”
It was my turn to interrupt her as I slammed my lips to hers. There was never anyone else that I had ever wanted or needed as much as Emma. And I was going to show her again and again until she believed it. “Never. There was never anyone else. Only you, cher.”
“Je vous veux.” She wanted me. When Emma spoke those words to me all thoughts fled as a fierce primal need took over to show her how no one had ever wanted her more.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Gunner
Emma.
Head thrown back, eyes closed, chin up, body glistened with sweat was the sexiest damn thing I ever saw. I crawled up her body, kissing every inch I could until I reached her lips. Two times the night before was not nearly enough as I entered her for the third time. There was an urgency pushing me to go faster, to take her harder, and to make her mine like never before. The confessions of last night still hung in the air, but instead of being a blanket that suffocated us, they were a charge that kept us going. Kept us touching, feeling, and loving one another all night and into the early morning hours.
Now as the sun rose on a new day, I felt revived. I felt the promise of us building higher and higher. As I reached for Emma each time, she turned to me opening herself up to me. Taking what I gave her and returning it tenfold as we discovered each other all over again.
I circled my hips drawing a glorious moan from Emma before aligning our hips and pushing back into her. Tongues tangled, her body hugging mine in an intimate embrace drove me off the deep end as I pumped into her again and again, faster and faster until Emma threw her head back and my name echoed throughout the room, ripping my orgasm from me with a growl.
When our breathing evened out, I kissed along her jaw. I felt her take a deep breath and then hold it. I looked up at her.
“You have to leave again don’t you?” Emma’s eyes were still closed and her body tensed as she asked.
“I don’t want to think about leaving until I have you at least one more time.”
“Tell me,” she pressed, opening her eyes to look straight through me.
“Later today.” The admittance made my chest tighten.
“Then I would like to sleep for just a few hours in your arms.”
“Anything you want cher.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. Emma’s lips lightly touched mine.
And just like our first time together, I attempted to ease off of her, but she tightened her legs that were wrapped around me. “Don’t go. I want you right here for as long as I can have you.”
My heart completely surrendered to her. “Je t-aime beb tu es mo coeur.”
I did not know if Emma realized it, but the best three words I ever heard slipped from her lips as she drifted off. “I love you.”
My thoughts exactly.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Emma
“Hey there.” Amber’s voice was a welcome relief.
“Hi.”
“You sound down.” Amber knew me too well.
“It’s been a long few days.” And it had been. This was the first time I had sat down.
“How come?”
“The boys have not taken well to the new day care.”
“And?” Damn! She was good. I blew out a big breath. “And I haven’t heard from Gunner in a week.”
“This is to be expected.” Every since Gunner left we talked almost every day. Sometimes it was a short conversation as we ran around trying to fit each other in our lives. Others times they were long, drawn out talks of our pasts or where we wanted to end up. The last conversation had him telling me about a new tattoo that he got. He would not tell me what it was, but he could not wait for me to see it. In all that time, there was only one instance we went a week without talking and he showed up on my doorstep instead of calling. “You said he had a lot on his plate in Baton Rouge. Maybe he is just really busy. Have you asked Dylan or Logan to ask their Reapers?”
“Not yet. I haven’t gotten that desperate, yet.”
“Ok, so what’s next?”
“I don’t know.” A partial truth.
“Yes you do. Tell me.” I loved Amber. She saw right through me.
“I had the crazy idea of going down there to surprise him. It’s been a little over a month since he was last up here and that was only for a night.”
“A night if I recall where you guys stayed in with the boys and had pizza and watched movies.”
“Among other things,” I laughed.
“I bet,” teased Amber.
“It was one of the best nights I ever had.” And it was. I loved every minute of it and fell in love even more with Gunner. But then the next morning with a quick kiss he was off to Baton Rouge again. There were no talks of when we would see each other again.
“Then maybe it is your time to go to him.”
“I know, but I don’t even know where the clubhouse is or . . .”
“You are letting that stop you? Come on Emma. You can find that out with a phone call. Either you want to do this or you don’t.”
“I do. What about the boys?”
“Let me look up flights.”
“Really?”
“Yep. I need a Mase-Max fix and I got a long weekend coming up. You driving or flying to Baton Rouge?”
“Driving, I guess. I don’t really have the money for anything else.”
“Ok. Let me look into some stuff and call you back later.”
“Ok.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too Am.”
Everything happened so fast after that. I switched shifts with another nurse and got th
e early morning shift on Friday freeing up my afternoon. With my new Monday thru Friday day shift, I had off on weekends so I did not have to worry about coverage. Then Amber called a few hours later with a flight for herself from Dallas and a flight for me to New Orleans, which was the closest airport. I could get a car and drive the short distance to Baton Rouge. She was arriving Thursday night and I would fly out Friday afternoon, putting me at the clubhouse by eight, but I did not care. I was going to see Gunner and I was so excited.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Emma
“I’m here.”
The quick text was to Amber before getting a car and driving to Baton Rouge. Dylan and Logan came through with directions once I was in Baton Rouge on how to get to the clubhouse. It was a team effort as we did not want to tip off any of the brothers about me coming to surprise Gunner.
My stomach was in knots as I took the exit that would lead me straight to the clubhouse. My butterflies turned to fucking hornets as they buzzed about. My palms were sweaty. My heart raced. I rolled down all the windows as I turned up the radio. At this point it was just white noise, but I needed something to drown out the doubts that kept circling like vultures in my brain. The most persistent was that there was a good reason he could not call and I was walking through land mines by coming. Was I putting myself in harms way? Were there problems with the other club and I was walking into a shit storm? I did not know, but I was about to find out.
The gates were open when I pulled up to the clubhouse. There was not a brother in sight. In all the years of going to the Reapers’ clubhouse in Camden City, the gates were never just open and unoccupied. This was not a good sign, but I could not turn back now. My return flight was for Sunday afternoon, and I wanted to make the most of this weekend.
I pulled into the property and saw all the brothers’ bikes lined up against the wall closest to the clubhouse, and all the other cars on the far end of the lot. Parking my car in the first spot I saw, I got out and adjusted my skirt and smoothed out my sparkly top. Between Dylan, Logan, Campbell and Amber I was dressed to kill this weekend. I shook out my hands and cracked my neck, telling myself that this was going to be awesome. There was no reason to be nervous.
Another car pulled in and parked. Four women dressed like your average sweet butt, which meant my bikini bathing suit covered more of myself then what their clothes did, got out of the car and walked towards the clubhouse. I fell in line behind them figuring they knew where they were going.
Loud music erupted as sweet butt #1 opened the door, holding it open for her friends. As I came up behind them I offered to take the door from her. After a quick snarl to reveal lipstick on her teeth, she shouldered past me and into the dark hallway. Those hornets were back as I took a deep breath and followed them into the darkness.
The long hallway opened up to a large room, very similar to the Camden City clubhouse. It had pool tables off to the side and a large bar that covered one whole wall. Several hallways went off in different directions. I was guessing the brothers’ rooms were back there as I did not see any steps that would lead upstairs.
I scanned the room and when I did not see Gunner, I made my way over to the bar. Several groups of brothers were talking and laughing. Sweet butts were hanging around and a few were on their knees taking care of brothers. I rolled my eyes without even thinking about it and got caught.
“See something you don’t like?” I turned to find myself staring into the chest of a very tall man. Baton Rouge was one of the patches he wore. My eyes traveled up his chest to a face that was so beat up it stole my breath.
“What happened to you?” The question came out before I could stop it.
“Awww. Pretty little lady worried about me. Well don’t cry for me sweetheart. Self-inflicted injury,” the stranger said.
“You did that to yourself?”
“Absolutely. I chose to enter the ring and to street fight one of the nastiest, dirtiest mother fucking fighters known to man. I chose to block his punches with my face. So yeah. I did this to myself.”
“Oh.” I was trying to think of something to say, when “Did you win?” spilled from my lips.
His hearty laugh made me laugh, then he answered, “Fuck yeah,” putting me in stitches.
“I’m Tommy, by the way.” I shook the hand offered, but did not say anything. “And you are?”
“Thirsty.” I could see that he thought this was a game, whereas I was just trying to buy some time until I saw Gunner. I did not know if he told anyone about me or what.
“I can remedy that gorgeous. Just wait one second,” Tommy said before disappearing to the bar. I looked around again hoping to see Gunner, but did not recognize anyone.
“Here you are.” I took the open beer bottle and turned it around in my hand as I looked at it. I sniffed it and then looked at Tommy.
“Why did you take the lid off?” That question earned me a hearty laugh from Tommy.
“Smart lady.” Tommy took my beer and started to drink it as he handed me a bottle that was still capped.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. You don’t look like the usual woman that walks through those doors. What has you coming by tonight?” His interest seemed genuine and his question was normal to ask.
“A brother invited me,” was all I said.
“Lucky brother. Well I suggest you find him before it gets too crazy in here.”
“Is that a warning?” I was nervous enough without him trying to scare me.
“A solid suggestion.”
“Oooookay.”
“Which brother are you looking for?” It was now or never.
“Gunner.” With that one word, Tommy’s own demeanor changed.
“Really?” His eyes scanned me from head to toe before looking me in the eye. “You would be the first woman who ever asked for Gunner. Are you from out of town? I don’t recall ever seeing you around before.” I did not know how to answer so I just shrugged my shoulders hoping he would still help me even though I did not give him any answers.
“I just want to see Gunner,” I replied.
“Ok. Follow me.” I hesitated. I did not know Tommy from a hole in the wall. Why would I follow him?
“Gorgeous. You can follow me,” he stated when he saw I did not follow him. “You are asking for the VP. I ain’t gonna mess with you. We are going to walk down the hallway to another room like this but smaller where I saw him last. That’s all.” Tommy had his hands up. He just stared at me waiting for me to decide.
“Can you just go get him?” His chuckle told me my answer.
“No one goes and gets the VP gorgeous. He comes and goes as he pleases.” Seeing that I was not going to get Gunner to come to me, I had to go to him.
“Ok.” I chugged the rest of my beer, needing the liquid courage. Tommy took my empty and led me down the hallway he pointed to before.
It was lit well enough to see, but just barely. We walked past several closed doors to a smaller space just like Tommy described. There was a TV on the far wall and a couch facing it, putting its back to us. Tommy was looking down at his phone when I saw a brother sitting on the couch with a woman riding him. He still had his cut on, but she was completely naked.
“Yo VP.” My heart sank at his words. This was not happening. I looked to Tommy to see him just looking up. “Oh sorry man. I . . .” but Gunner cut him off.
“What?” The familiar voice drove daggers through my heart. But when he turned his head partially to the side I felt my heart break into a million pieces. My brain could not comprehend what it was seeing. All I could focus on was the new tattoo he mentioned. It stuck out like a sore thumb on his neck. It was so big and unlike Gunner, but so was the woman on his lap.
When my eyes finally rose to his face, Gunner was wearing the shittest of grins. “Want to join us Emma?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Emma
I had no words. Even after sleeping in an airport and flying home the next day, I had no words
. Just pain. Unbelievable pain and sadness. My chest ached. No matter how much I cried or how puffy my eyes were, the tears would not stop. The only thing I could do was get lost. So I bought a bottle of whiskey from the tax-free store on my way out of the airport and got into my car as Amber drove us home.
She did not bother with words either. Why would she? There was nothing to say, so I let Selena Gomez say it for me.
“I don't believe, I don't believe it. You left in peace, left me in pieces. Too hard to breathe, I'm on my knees. Right now, 'ow. I'm so sick of that same old love, that shit, it tears me up. I'm so sick of that same old love, my body's had enough. Oh, (that same old love). Oh, (that same old love). I'm so sick of that same old love, feels like I've blown apart. I'm so sick of that same old love, the kind that breaks your heart.”
We got home in record time. When the boys did not come running, I looked to Amber. “With Stella,” was all she said as she followed me into the living room. I put my iPhone in the iHome docking station. I set up “Same Old Love” to play on repeat. Next I got a shot glass and each time the song started up again, I took a shot. An hour later Dylan joined us, and then eventually Logan and Campbell.
But no one said a word. Silent tears fell. Pacing occurred. Incoherent cussing and yelling, a few screams happened. But no words. There was nothing left to say.
The days blurred together. The music shifted from Selena to Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U,” to No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak,” and then to the current song of the day “Used To Love You,” by Gwen Stefani.
“I don’t know why I cry. But I think its cause I remembered for the first time, Since I hated you, That I used to love you,” I screamed from the bed I had not left since Saturday night. I knew the outside world needed to be let in, but I just was not ready.
Amber hugged me tighter. “You have to go to work tomorrow. Two days out is all you can take sick without seeing a doctor.”
Emma's Reaper: Soul Reapers #4 Page 6
