Table of Contents
Title Page
Blurb
Copyright Statement
Dedication
Trademarks Acknowledgement
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
About the Author
Titles by N.J. Nielsen
BLURB
Jacen is living a lie in a relationship with someone he can't fully love. He's moved away from the one man meant for him, Kayne. Distance doesn't help, though, because his heart can't forget.
Teenage mistakes set Kayne's future, so, with one last kiss goodbye, he's let the man who held his heart walk away—his best friend's younger brother. Time doesn't heal all wounds. It just confuses matters, especially when Kayne has a young son and soon-to-be ex-wife.
Then Jacen comes home. He's been both physically and mentally abused by his ex-boyfriend. Kayne needs to help find out just who is trying to destroy Jacen's life. Who's to blame—the man responsible for beating Jacen up or Kayne's very own ex, who has hated Jacen since they were teenagers when she'd found out Jacen held Kayne's heart?
Will the mystery enemy destroy them or bring them closer?
FIREBORN PUBLISHING COPYRIGHT STATEMENT
One Last Kiss Goodbye
Copyright © 2015 by N.J. Nielsen
eBook ISBN: 978-1-943528-07-3
First eBook Publication: January 2016
Cover Artist: Tracey Weston
Photo Credit: 123rf/Dollar Photos
Editor: Jamie D. Rose
Logo copyright © 2014 by Fireborn Publishing and Allison Cassatta
Licensed material is being used for illustrative purposes only. Any person depicted in the licensed material is a model.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED UNDER INTERNATIONAL AND PAN-AMERICAN COPYRIGHT CONVENTIONS: Payment for this title grants the purchaser the right to download and read this file on any/all personal electronic devices personally owned by the purchaser, now or in the future, and to maintain backup copies of the file for the purchaser's personal use. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or electronic storage and retrieval, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is strictly coincidental.
This book is written in US English.
PUBLISHER
PO Box 5216
Haverhill, MA 01835
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my family. Thank you all.
My kids, as much as I'd like to gaff tape you to a chair most days, you're both awesome, in your own peculiar ways.
My husband, who always smiles and nods when I start telling him about my story lines.
And for Mum, who always makes me my first cup of coffee every morning.
TRADEMARKS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Grand Central Shopping Mall (Toowoomba): QIC Limited
University of Melbourne: The University of Melbourne
CHAPTER ONE
Eleven Years Ago
"Micah, can I ask you something?" Jacen looked up at his older brother. Micah was so tall and being two years older, he was a lot bigger than Jacen's own frame. His brother was thirteen and at an age when Jacen thought his brother was smart and knew everything about being a boy.
"Sure, Jace, what do you want to know?" Micah handed him a plate to dry.
Jacen loved this time of night when they did the dishes, because it was the one time when Micah had enough time to talk to him. His brother was one of the most popular boys at their school. At school they didn't run in the same circles, even though they were both in the same grade. Jacen didn't really have friends. He'd never had friends, mainly because he was so much younger than everyone else in his grade. Was it his fault he was brainier than the rest of kids his own age? He'd tried not to be, but once he'd opened a book or had sat in any lesson, the whole idea of holding himself back had gone right out the window. Jacen had always loved learning new things.
"Micah, you like girls, right?" Jacen knew his face was turning redder by the second because the heat creeping up his own neck was a clear warning.
Finally his big brother turned to him and grinned. "Yeah, I like girls. Why do you ask? Does my baby brother have a crush on one of the girls at school? Do I know her?"
Jacen shook his head in embarrassment and maybe a touch of confusion. "I just want to know. How did you know you like girls instead of boys?"
"Holy hell!" Micah dropped the dish he was washing back into the sink full of sudsy water and turned once again to stare at him. "Jace, do you like one of the boys at school?"
Tears fill his eyes as Jacen shrugged. "I don't know. That's why I need to know. How can you tell if you like girls?"
"Jace, he can't tell you. It's something you need to work out for yourself," a new voice said.
Jacen nearly jumped out of his skin when their dad spoke from where he stood in the doorway. Tears spilled down Jacen's cheeks. He never in his life wanted his dad to find out he might like boys more than girls, especially when he'd heard all the gossip at school about how it was supposed to be wrong for boys to like boys or for girls to like girls.
"Come on, boys. Leave the dishes and let's sit down and talk about this," Desmond, his dad, said as he gestured back into the living room.
Jacen followed Micah and their father into the lounge. His heart beat out of control, wondering if his dad was going to be angry, upset, or maybe just disgusted in him. What would happen to him if his dad didn't want him to live with them anymore? Where would he go? Who would look after him? As his fear got the better of him, Jacen sat a little closer to Micah on the couch than he normally would have. He shivered visibly in relief when Micah took his hand and held it. Looking at his feet, Jacen couldn't bring himself to look at his father; he just wasn't brave enough.
"Jace, look at me." His dad's voice didn't sound cranky, so he slowly raised his eyes. He bit his lip to stop it from trembling. "Son, only you can know who you are meant to love. I heard you ask Micah how you will know. Well, to be honest it's different for everyone. It could be a simple as butterflies in your tummy when the person is in the same room as you, or you can't seem to stop looking at someone, or maybe you can't stop thinking about them. Or…or…it could be…"
"Oh." Jacen's face heated up until burned like it was on fire. Jacen hesitated for a moment before looking straight at his dad. He just needed to know. "Dad, is it okay if I like boys better than girls?"
His dad let out very deep sigh. "Jace, you can't help who you love. I want you to understand it's never wrong to love someone. I honestly wish for your sake that you liked girls. It would be easier for you in the long run. Some people will hate you because you like boys. There'll be people who are nasty and will tell you it's wrong. But I want you to know I'll always love you, son, no matter who you choose to love."
"There'll also be some idiots who'll want to beat you up. Do you remember what happened to Neil? The seniors beat the crap out of him because he's gay." Micah squeezed his hand as he continued. "If you're gay, you're going to have to be very careful about who you tell, because if the wrong person finds out, it'll get all over the whole school then everyone will know." Micah turned Jacen's face so their gazes met. "Is there someone at school you like?"
Staring into his brother's eyes, Jacen nodded slowly. He needed to finally get everything off of his chest and was happy his brother and father still loved him.
"Who do you like, Jace?" Micah asked again.
Jacen swallowed really hard and tried to blink away his tears before his family thought he was an even bigger freak. "Kayne Henderson. I didn't mean to like him. I swear. It just kind of happened."
His brother's eyes grew large and his dad sucked in a deep breath. Jacen knew Kayne Henderson had a reputation for being the bad boy at school. He was always in detention and always being called in to see the principal for stuff he had done. But one time when Jacen had been feeling all alone, Kayne had really been nice to him. Kayne hadn't made fun of him when he'd found him crying in the boy's bathroom at lunchtime after the other kids had called him a freak. Kayne was in the grade above him and had taken the time to make sure he was all right. He'd sat and talked to Jacen for the whole lunch break. His mind came back to the present when his brother finally spoke.
"Jace, promise me you will never tell Kayne you like him. He'd be the first one to try to kill you."
"I promise I won't tell anyone." He didn't agree with Micah that Kayne would hurt him, but he would stay quiet because he didn't want the other kids to tease him more than they already did.
* * * *
Seven Years Ago
Jacen Ives sat at the very edge of the school oval during the lunch break and watched the other guys playing footy. It seemed to be like a lifetime ago since he'd had the fateful conversation with his family about liking boys. Well…one boy, and after all this time, his infatuation with Kayne Henderson hadn't changed. The only thing that had changed was now they were in the same grade. At the end of last school term he'd been moved ahead another year. The thing that remained the same was he still had no friends of his own, but now he didn't mind so much. It meant he had more time to look at and dream about the boy who owned his heart.
Kayne had changed a lot in the time he'd known him. He'd actually filled out nicely. The guy looked strong, and his muscles were way bigger than most of the other boys in school. Jacen put it down to the fact Kayne worked in his father's demolition yard after school and during the holidays. Henderson's Demolitions was one of the best companies in town.
The school bell rang and Jacen packed away the book he'd been pretending to read. When his bag was zipped, he stood up and realised Kayne was now standing right in front of him. "Oh, hey," Jacen mumbled.
Trying not to blush, Jacen froze for a moment, and then pulled his bag in front of his groin in case the usual happened when he was around Kayne. For so long now he'd been playing hide the hard-on whenever he was in the same vicinity as his secret crush, though he was proud of the fact he'd kept his promise to Micah and had never told anyone about his true feelings for Kayne. Since coming out to his family, the other kids at school had eventually found out he was gay, but their teasing no longer bothered him. Occasionally he would have some dumbarse hassling him, but for the most part, they all left him alone. He knew other kids weren't quite as lucky as he was. They didn't have a big brother willing to stand up for them.
What really killed him the most inside was somehow Micah and Kayne had become friends—best friends. Lately Kayne was always at their house making Jacen's life a living torture, all because he could look but not touch. Okay, he could look only when no one else knew he was looking.
"Hello, Earth to Jace. Come in, Jace." Kayne clicked his fingers in front Jacen's face, bringing him back to the here and now.
"Do you need something?" Jacen blurted out as they started heading towards the school. "I mean…" He trailed off when Kayne started laughing.
"Actually, yeah, I do need you to do something for me. Can you tell Micah I can't make tonight. I have to go to some stupid awards dinner thing with Dad, and I can't get out of it. I tried, but the old man is forcing my hand."
Jacen's heart raced. "Are you talking about the business awards for excellence in the community?"
"You've heard of it?" Kayne asked as he cocked his head to one side.
Jacen couldn't stop himself from saying, "I'm going as my dad's plus one. His girlfriend left him when he told her to stop picking on me." He didn't know what made him blurt out the last bit he did. He really didn't need Kayne thinking he was a total spaz.
"Bummer… I meant about your dad for getting mixed up with her in the first place," Kayne said in explanation. "At least tonight won't suck big hairy donkey balls now. I'll have you to keep me company when things get boring as fuck." Kayne smirked and Jacen's knees nearly buckled as lust hit him full force.
Jacen stammered, "It's a date," then groaned as he realised what he'd just said. It took a moment for the shock to wear off of Kayne's face before he burst out laughing. "I meant, I'll see you there," Jacen added for clarification.
"I know what you meant, squirt"—Kayne clapped his back in good humour—"but if I see Micah before you do, I'm gonna tell him I'm ditching him to go on a date with his brother." He waggled his eyebrows comically and was still laughing as they went their separate ways—Kayne to metal work and him to advanced mathematics. Okay, so he may have gotten a hold of Kayne's class schedule and memorised it. It's not as if he would ever tell Kayne or anyone else what he'd done, so it really couldn't be classed as stalking. What other people didn't know couldn't hurt him.
The rest of his day passed in a blur, and soon Jacen found himself standing in front of the wardrobe mirror adjusting the tie at his throat. Even though this wasn't a real date, he could pretend for just a little while that it was. He hoped he got to sit at the same table as Kayne, but even if he didn't, at least he'd still be able to look at him from somewhere in the room without Kayne knowing.
"Are you sure you look sexy enough?"
Jace looked at Micah's reflection in the mirror as his brother spoke.
"I kinda feel sick now. Maybe you should go instead of me." His fingers nervously fidgeted with the knot on his tie.
Micah's eyes opened wide in mock shock. "What! How could I possibly disappoint Kayne on his and your big date?"
"Idiot." Jacen poked his tongue out at his brother's reflection. Childish maybe, but it felt good doing it anyway.
"Remember when you used to have a big crush on Kayne? I wonder what he'd think about this date if he found out you once had the hots for him."
Micah laughed at his own joke, but Jacen averted his eyes so his brother wouldn't see the truth. His silence must have tipped Micah off instead.
"Jace, look at me and tell me you don't still have a crush on Kayne."
Jacen kept adjusting his tie and avoiding his brother's eyes. He didn't want to open his mouth and blurt everything out.
"Shit, Jace, you need to get over it. Kayne isn't gay. He
has a girlfriend for crying out loud, or have you conveniently forgotten about her? Teagan will be at the dinner as his date—not you."
Guiltily Jacen hung his head. His nose itched, his eyes burned, and he knew tears would soon be following. "I know, Micah. I swear I do. I've kept my promise to you. I've never told a soul I like him. He doesn't know anything, and he won't hear it from me. After school ends he won't even have to see me again. I'll just be a memory—a memory that will fade in time."
"What do you mean? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Dad told me if I still wanted to go to the University of Melbourne, he'd help me pay for it. I'll be moving to Victoria after Christmas. I've already applied for dorm housing and will find out next week where I'll be living." Jacen wiped his tears. "Please, just let me have tonight to pretend—to say goodbye in my own way. In less than a month I'll be gone and I'll eventually get over Kayne Henderson. Kayne never has to know anything about any of this. I won't tell him, and you won't tell him. No one will, so my secret will remain just that—a secret."
CHAPTER TWO
Kayne had sat through most of the night with his girlfriend, Teagan, by his side. As she yabbered on at him, he realised he wished she wasn't the one sitting beside him. He'd tried to get out of bringing her, had even called her to cancel the whole date. To be totally honest, he wasn't sure how she'd ended up still being here. He had actually been looking forward to spending time with Jacen away from everyone's prying eyes. As he looked across the room to where Jacen was currently sitting, Kayne knew in his heart the cold sick feeling inside of him was pure jealousy. All night Kayne had tried to find a way to have a conversation with Jacen, but little miss I'm too good for your friends kept turning the conversation back to her and diverting Kayne's attention. Why the hell am I even dating her anyway? I don't love her—I never have.
One Last Kiss Goodbye (Hidden Hearts #2) Page 1
