One Last Kiss Goodbye (Hidden Hearts #2)

by N. J. Nielsen

  Guilt washed over Kayne. If only Teagan hadn't seen him kissing Jacen, none of this would have happened. But at the same time, if he could go back and have a do-over, he wouldn't have Macen. His Uncle Joe used to always tell him that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we knew the why of it all, and sometimes we were just shit outta luck. We just had to make the best of the hand life dealt us. Macen was definitely the reason Kayne's life had taken the track it had. In spite of all the bad shit in his life, he had to admit in the beginning he even liked Teagan. She could be a fun person to be around, but those times had been few and far between. The friendship had been there, just not the love a husband should have for his wife.

  Almost from the beginning he'd had the feeling she'd been seeing someone else behind his back. For so long he didn't care if she sought out what he couldn't give her. When she had forced his hand, she'd probably thought she could win him over. It sure as shit had shocked her when it hadn't worked. In the end they'd come to a compromise. For the sake of their son, they would stay a family. So he had stayed. In the last year, though, her whole demeanour had changed. She had been making their lives a living hell and had given both him and Macen the cold shoulder more and more.

  "Are we all forgetting the fact that Jacen isn't single?" Sammy interrupted his thoughts. "He's with George."

  "George is a fuckwit," Micah snapped harshly before adding, "I say go to Victoria and drag my brother home. He should be here with his family."

  Sammy rolled his eyes at Micah. "Just because you don't like George doesn't mean Jacen doesn't still love him."

  "The thing is"—Micah sat forward—"I don't think Jacen does love him. The last time they were here together, they stayed as far away from each other as possible. When I questioned Jacen about it, he told me to drop it. Sammy, you saw it yourself at Dad's birthday."

  Hope swelled inside Kayne. "Maybe when he comes up for the wedding, I can test the waters. If he's receptive, then great. If not, no harm no foul."

  "Hello. George will be with him. You keep forgetting one important fact. Jacen would never cheat on his boyfriend," Sammy said as if trying to make them see reason.

  Micah growled and Kayne wanted to join in, but the sad fact was that he knew Sammy was right. He would have to wait until he was face-to-face with Jacen and see what the go was. He wasn't going to force his way into somebody's life, because he knew how it felt. Plus, he cared too much for Jacen to ruin the tentative friendship they had managed to hold onto over the years. Jacen may have had a crush on him back then, but that wasn't saying it was still the case.

  If wishes were kisses, Kayne would be a happy man.

  "Sammy, I'm not going to ruin his life. I'd never hurt Jace. I was joking really. I think my chances have well and truly come and gone where Jace is concerned. He's way out of my league."

  "What the hell are you talking about?" Micah sounded affronted. "You're still a very attractive man. Any guy would love to be in a relationship with you."

  How could he explain it to his friend so Micah could understand? "I'm glad you think I'm hot and all, but you're not getting what I'm saying. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with me. I'm saying Jace is too good to get mixed up with someone like me. I'd only end up dragging him down."

  "My God, you're an idiot," Sammy said as he leant over and smacked him upside the head. "For the right person, you're a good catch. You work hard. You have a job, which is a major plus when dating someone."

  As he rubbed his head, he retorted, "Don't forget Macen. What guy is going to want to take on the responsibility of someone else's child?"

  "None, if you carry on with this attitude," Sammy snapped.

  "What he said." Micah pointed at his partner. "Mace is a wonderful kid and any guy should be happy to have him in their lives."

  This conversation was just going around in circles. He dreaded where it would be heading next and cringed when Micah spoke the obvious.

  "So, are you going to tell Mace you're gay? I mean, he's probably old enough to understand. And he obviously doesn't have a problem with me and Sammy."

  "I don't know. It feels like everything is happening so fast and I haven't got a clue as to what I'm meant to be doing. If I tell Mace, I'll have to tell Mum and Dad. You know Mace tells Dad everything when they're talking."

  "Do you think they'll be okay with the news?" Sammy asked.

  Kayne could hear the worry in his friend's voice.

  "To be honest, I don't know. They've never said anything anti-gay around me. It might be because you guys are my best friends. And they didn't have a problem with Mace and me staying here. Then again, you aren't his kids, so he could have problems if I come out and tell him I'm gay. Dad may have never like Teagan, and Mum always worried about me being happy… Actually, lately she's been a little obsessed with my happiness, and we all know how much she loves Jace."

  "I think you're worrying over nothing. Your dad's bloody brilliant. At least you gave them a grandchild before you decided to jump the fence and play on the other side."

  Micah was probably right. As far as parents went, his were pretty cool. His mum had even questioned him a time or two wanting to know if there was anyone he was interested in.

  "I'll talk to them after I see Jace at the wedding. No sense in burning bridges that are still in good nick," Kayne said.

  Sammy let out a huge yawn as he stood and pulled Micah off the couch. "Time for bed, big guy." He turned and stared at Kayne. "Don't stress too much. What's meant to be will happen. My advice is to take one day at a time and see where life leads you."

  He nodded and smiled as Sammy and Micah headed off to bed. The quiet of their house was comforting in an odd sort of way. Kayne lay on the couch and pictured Jacen as he had last seen him. He still couldn't believe when their gazes had met across the room at Desmond's birthday, it was like one of those stupid romance novels Teagan liked to read—not that he'd ever admit he'd read a couple of them himself. Their gazes had met and Kayne's breath had caught in his throat. His knees had grown weaker by the second. Then George had come into focus and reality had bitch-slapped him in the face.

  But what if there were no George? What if Teagan had never happened? What if Kayne had had enough balls back in high school to tell Jacen how he'd felt about him? As his eyes closed and dreams came to him, his mind took him back to the one tender moment he had cherished throughout his life.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Present Day

  It had been two weeks since he had moved, four weeks since breaking up with George, and Jacen still couldn't bring himself to look in the mirror. Every time he did, memories flooded his mind of his now very ex-partner beating the crap out of him. His body still ached in places he didn't even know could hurt.

  His new house was situated in a little suburb called Placid Hills. It was only a seven minute drive to his brother's and father's houses, and he still hadn't been to see them—all because he was too ashamed to let them see him broken. He needed time to get himself under control. And as scared as he was, he wanted the bruising to be gone before his father saw him. He also didn't want to hear any of the "I told you so's" aimed at him, and he knew there'd be a lot, especially from Micah. He still had six weeks until his father's and Nancy's wedding, and, by then, hopefully the last of the bruising would have gone.

  His brother had hated George before. Now he'd want to hunt the bastard down and kill him. Jacen couldn't have Micah's actions on his conscience. George wasn't worth it, and Micah was better than a thug. His emergency cell phone went off and he looked at the number. Micah. He must have worked out something was wrong, as he'd never gotten back to his brother about the wedding, or maybe Micah just wanted to yell at Jacen for being a slack fucker. Pressing Talk, he held it to his ear. There was no getting out of talking to his family now.

  "Where the hell are you?" Micah's voice sounded frantic and guilt stabbed at Jacen.

  "Hi, Micah." He grimaced as the healing cut on his lip pulled tightly as he spoke
.

  "I get a fucking phone call from the Victoria police saying they can't find you. They wouldn't even tell me why they were looking for you, just said if you made contact to make sure you called them. You haven't been answering your home phone or your cell. It wasn't until Sammy pointed it out that I realised I hadn't tried this number. So tell me, Jace, where the hell are you? Dad is already packing so he can come track your arse down."

  Rubbing gently at the tears prickling his eyes, he knew there was no getting away from it. He'd have to tell his brother what had happened to him. Actually, he was tired of being alone and scared. "Okay, if I tell you, you have to promise me you won't get upset. What happened to me is now in the hands of the Melbourne Police."

  "What did the fucker do? I know George has something to do with this. That's it! I'm booking a flight. Sammy, I'm going to Melbourne with Dad. Jace needs me."

  Jacen heard his brother scream the last bit out to his partner. He needed to stop his brother before things got too out of hand. His words came out sounding thick and he knew it was due to the tears falling from his eyes. "Micah, you don't need to go to Melbourne. I've moved. All you need to do is drive to Huntingdale Crescent. I've been too ashamed to let you see me. I couldn't bring myself to tell you where I was."

  "What's the address? We're on our way."

  Jacen whispered the house number to him before Micah hung up. Sadly, he wasn't sure he was ready for this, but it looked like he had run out of time. His family was coming and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

  The implications of his brother's statement hit him full force less than fifteen minutes later when two cars pulled in his driveway. His heart raced as he saw his dad and Nancy climb out of one car, and out of the other climbed Micah, Sammy, Kayne, and a little boy who he assumed was Macen—Kayne's son.

  It took all his courage just to go and meet them at the front door.

  "Oh, baby, what has he done to you?" Nancy wrapped her arms gently around him in comfort—and even at the slight touch he couldn't hold back the whimper of pain.

  "He didn't want me to be the one to leave." Jace's voice broke. "George said I owed him for his putting up with me for so long."

  "What does that even mean?" his dad asked once they had gone back inside to the lounge room.

  "He wanted the money I'd saved up for the store. He thought he'd be able to talk me out of going through with it."

  "How? By bashing the fuck out of you?" Sammy muttered as he leant back against Micah.

  It didn't seem strange anymore to see his brother being so affectionate with another guy. It had come as a total shock when Micah had announced he was in love with his flatmate and an even a bigger shock when it had turned out to be Sammy and not Michelle who he'd meant. They had had some rough times and some lost years, but since then it seemed to be working for them. And Jacen was happy for them.

  "I can't believe he bashed you like this over money." Micah shook his head. "I knew there was a reason I hated the fucker's guts."

  "Stop swearing in front of Macen," their dad chided, and Jacen noticed how huge the little boy's eyes were at the swear words he was hearing.

  "The money wasn't the only reason. He always said no one ever left George Woodrow, plus he accused me of coming back here for…" He trailed off. Biting his lip, Jacen felt his face flush. He'd come so close to blurting out things better left unsaid. His gaze locked with Micah's in a panic.

  "More than the wedding?" Micah suggested.

  Jumping on the offered out, Jacen nodded. "Yeah, he didn't want me staying close to you, Micah. He always said you were a bad influence on me."

  Micah grinned. "I'm supposed to be a bad influence on you. It's what big brothers are for."

  Jacen nodded. "I just wished I'd listened to you when you told me I should leave him."

  "Why didn't you?" Kayne asked as he sat on the floor and leant up against the wall, his son by his side.

  Jacen shrugged then winced at the dull ache throbbed through his almost-healed body. "I guess I just didn't want to be alone. Isn't the saying, if you can't have the one you love, then love the one you're with?"

  "How long have you been here?" his dad finally asked.

  Jacen stared back at his dad and answered a little nervously. "A little under two weeks." He looked around at all the boxes. "I've been too sore to unpack everything."

  Kayne got up from where he'd been sitting, grabbed the closest box, and opened it. "So where am I putting this stuff?" He pulled out a book and flashed it in Jacen's direction.

  "I'm going to take a stab in the dark here, but I'm thinking that maybe seeing as it's a book, it belongs in the bookcase." Micah shrugged. "Seems obvious to me. That's all I'm saying." He held up his hands in a defensive gesture as Kayne growled at him.

  Smiling, Jacen only nodded. He didn't want to have a cry in front of these people. He knew being family they wouldn't have cared if he had bawled like a baby, but there was no way he was going to show his vulnerability in front of Kayne. He was so used to keeping all his feelings and emotions about Kayne bottled up, and he just couldn't bring himself to let them out now.

  Jacen reluctantly remained seated as his loved ones unpacked his belongings and turned his house into a home. Whenever they didn't know about something, they made sure to ask him where each item went. When Macen got tired, he came and kept Jacen company. Jacen's heart stuttered when he looked into his beautiful blue eyes. They were exact replicas of his father's. He studied the boy closely. There was nothing of his mother in Macen at all. Macen even had his father's unruly curls. There was no denying the boy was definitely a Henderson.

  "Just call out if you need help." Jacen smiled at Kayne as he walked past the open doorway leading to the bedroom. He wondered what Teagan would say if she could see him sitting here with Kayne and Macen in his home. She had never liked him, and he'd never worked out exactly why. If she knew about today, she'd more than likely spit it big time.

  Jacen was nervous and the next time Kayne entered the room, he blurted out, "Where's Teagan? Is she out with friends?"

  "Um, Teagan left us a couple of weeks ago. She didn't want…" Kayne rubbed his eyes.

  When he didn't continue, Macen spoke up.

  "She didn't want to be my mum anymore." Macen stood up and leant into his father's side. "She said Daddy could only love one person, and if it wasn't her, then she didn't want to be here. So Mummy left to go and live with Uncle Chris."

  "Uncle Chris?" Jacen asked, perplexed at this turn of events.

  "Chris Martin." Kayne shrugged. "Apparently, they had been seeing each other for a while. I'll tell you about it later."

  "Okay." Jacen felt like shit for bringing up something which obviously still hurt Kayne and Macen. He settled back into the chair as Kayne took Macen to help him unpack more books. As he sat there processing what he'd just heard, he realised Kayne made beautiful babies. Macen was absolutely adorable.

  And right then it made him crave a family of his own.

  As the day drew to an end, Jacen was starting to relax with having his family close. He was dying to find out what had really happened between Kayne and Teagan but knew he'd have to wait until Kayne was ready to tell him. If it didn't happen soon, he was going to be pumping Micah for information. If he asked the right questions, Micah would spill like a waterfall without even realising it until it was too late.

  A lesson learned long ago: Don't tell Micah secrets as they never stayed secrets for long, although he did keep the one about Jacen having a crush on Kayne. Just no other secret was safe with him.

  Not long after, his dad and Nancy said goodbye, as they had dinner plans they couldn't get out of. They told him they'd be back tomorrow to see what still needed to be done.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Leaning against the doorframe, Kayne watched in wonder as his son sat on the couch beside Jacen playing cards—Go Fish, if he wasn't mistaken. Somehow it both looked and felt right. When Jacen had come home to attend Desmo
nd's fiftieth birthday party, Kayne realised his feelings for the man were stronger than he'd ever thought possible. Pity they had both been in relationships at the time. He'd wondered back then if Jacen had felt anything for him, because a few times he'd caught Jacen's gaze on him. It was a fantasy he'd held onto for so long, and lately it was the dream that kept him going, combined with the memory of the one and only kiss they had ever shared when they were teenagers. Kayne was turning into a freaking girl with the wanting of his best friend's brother.

  "He's good. I think you might have the world's next greatest up and coming poker player on your hands." Jacen joked and Macen beamed at the compliment.

  Kayne walked over and sat on the coffee table in front the couch. He rested his hand on his thigh as he watched them both. He was mesmerised as Jacen's gaze locked with his, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. This was something he had needed. He had craved some sort of alone time with this man for quite a while now. Turning to his son, he said, "Sammy and Micah are going to feed Squirt and pick up some burgers for dinner. They want you to go for a ride."

  No sooner had the words left his mouth when Macen handed his cards to Jacen and ran for the front door, shouting goodbye over his shoulder.

  Jacen chuckled. "I guess he really wanted those burgers."

  Without over-analysing his next move, Kayne leant forward and laid the palms of his hands on Jacen's thighs. He didn't squeeze or caress. He just needed the touch. "I think his eagerness to go has more has to do with seeing Squirt."

  "He's adorable. I can't understand how Teagan could walk away from him." Jacen lifted his beautiful eyes until their gazes met. "Either of you."

  Nervously Kayne chuckled. Now that he was having his chance, the words he wanted to say seemed to stick in his throat. Kayne reached out then ran his fingertips lightly over his Jacen's bruised cheek. "I wish I could have been there to stop him from hurting you."

  "It wasn't so bad," Jacen murmured.