One Last Kiss Goodbye (Hidden Hearts #2)

by N. J. Nielsen

  "So are you saying that now you want me to stay here with you? I mean, just until the police track down George. Though I wouldn't mind the bastard showing up so I could beat the ever living crap out of him for hurting you. I can also promise you he won't even get a chance to touch my kid."

  "He's not worth it." Jacen sighed again as Kayne's arm tightened the barest fraction in comfort. "But maybe it's best if you do stay here. George scares me. I know he shouldn't, but he does."

  "No, he isn't worth it, but beating him up would sure make me feel a hell of a lot better," Kayne mumbled.

  "Can I ask you something?" Jacen was curious as to why Kayne wasn't staying with his parents. He remembered how close the three were, so what had changed?

  Kayne smiled at him. "Looks like we are going to be roomies, so you can ask me anything you want?"

  "Why didn't you move in with your parents? I just wondered why you were staying with Micah and Sammy."

  The smile faded from both Kayne's eyes and mouth.

  "Dad… Well he didn't like Teagan very much toward the end. I guess Dad realised the hard way that my so called wife wasn't a very nice person. Then when he found out how she'd trapped me into marrying her, he was livid. I'm not sure if anyone told you, but a few months ago we had some problems in the office and your dad was hired to find out who was skimming some money—a lot of money actually—from the business. Apparently Teag had helped herself to Dad's funds. Where she got the account numbers from at the time no one knew. Dad blamed me for what she'd done. When she kicked me out, Dad basically told me I could sort the mess out myself. The theft is only one of the many reasons that led to me and Teagan finally breaking up." Kayne hesitated for a moment.

  He looked like he wasn't telling the complete truth, but Jacen didn't think he had the right to call the man out on it.

  In a shaky voice Kayne continued. "It turns out Chris was the person who'd helped her embezzle from Dad. At the time he'd worked part-time in the office. Your dad didn't discover Chris's involvement until after Teag had run off and shacked up with him. By then it was pretty obvious just who had helped her. I guess they'd been seeing each other since high school and I was just too blind to see it. What I never told you is she tried to tell me Mace wasn't mine, but luckily Mum had made me do a DNA test when he was about two, in case the relationship ever went south. The truth is even if he hadn't have been mine, I would have fought to keep him, as I'm all he has. I would never place a child in her care. There's a major lawsuit happening right now to try and get the money back."

  "And let me guess, you and your dad are too stubborn to talk to each other and work it all out?" Jacen asked, and by the blush on Kayne's cheeks, he knew he was pretty close to the mark.

  "Something like that," Kayne said softly. "Mum has tried getting us to talk, but one of us always backs out. He still talks to Macen when Mace calls him. Those two are as close as two peas in a pod."

  Jacen smiled. "Maybe once you're moved in here and the house is set up, you can invite them around for dinner. It'd be a nice way to break the ice, so to speak. I know how much you've always loved your dad. No matter how many times you argued, he was still your best mate. Are you still working in the demolition company?" When Kayne nodded, Jacen continued. "Then put your big boy pants on and make this right. Learn from my mistakes, and don't let Teagan's bullshit tear you away from your family like I allowed George to do to me."

  "You'll be there, won't you? You won't make me face Dad alone? Dad always did have a soft spot for you."

  Jacen was almost certain Kayne was afraid to talk to his father alone. He wondered what else Kayne hadn't told him about what had gone on. Because this Kayne sitting here beside him was not the same self-assured Kayne he had known all his life.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Kayne felt as if the world had been lifted off his shoulders when, after a dinner of reheated burgers, he and Micah had gone and collected the rest of their belongings. It would be good to get the Macen back into some sort of a routine. Maybe now Macen would stop stressing and get back to being a kid. With their lives being so up in the air for the last month, Kayne was ready for his own mental breakdown, and Jacen was right. He did miss the close relationship he had with his father. He wanted it back. He missed ringing his dad up at night time and just shooting the breeze as they talked about what had happened on the jobsite each day.

  He had just finished making up Macen's bed frame when Jacen walked in. He looked so adorable that Kayne fumbled the spanner in his hands and dropped it right onto the tip of his big toe. He cursed up a blue streak as he hobbled around the room, trying to walk off the pain. It didn't help when Jacen stood there biting his lower lip as he tried not to laugh.

  "Was there a reason for this little interruption?" Kayne snapped, knowing there was no heat behind his words, and it seemed to be enough to tip Jacen over the edge as peals of laughter fell from his lips.

  "I just wanted to tell you Macen's had his shower and is currently asleep on the couch," Jacen replied when he finally got himself under control.

  Standing there, Kayne watched Jacen. It was funny that he couldn't remember Teagan really caring whether or not Macen was fed or ready for bed. Hell, his son hadn't even really had a bed time. Everything about caring for Macen had always been left up to Kayne. What kind of mother did it make her when a total stranger gave her son more affection than his own mother? Luckily Kayne had enough love to lavish on his son for the both of them. And it seemed Jacen had enough to share as well, and strangely…it felt so damn right.

  "Your son is going to grow up to be a heartbreaker when he gets older. He has your beautiful eyes." Jacen blushed as he spoke.

  Kayne nodded. "I hope he grows up without any of his mother's traits."

  Again Jacen's skin turned a pretty shade of pink. "If he grows up with you raising him, he won't have Teagan's influences in any way, shape, or form. I know you won't allow that to happen."

  Placing a hand on Jacen's shoulder, Kayne led him from the room. In the lounge he carefully picked up his sleeping son and carried him back to bed. It felt nice when Jacen followed him and pulled back the sheets before tucking them in around Macen.

  As they again left, Kayne steered Jacen towards the bathroom. "Why don't you have a shower then I'll rub your back again."

  "Okay," Jacen said softly.

  Kayne felt his insides tumble and turn as the next word fell from his lips. "I'll wait in your bedroom."

  Jacen didn't answer but his eyes grew huge as he slowly closed the door between them. Kayne had a precious few minutes to get his errant cock under control. Hopefully Jacen hadn't noticed just how hard he was. Well, fingers crossed he hadn't.

  Tonight he'd be sharing Jacen's bed, as he still had to buy a new one for himself. Teagan had taken the one they had once shared. It wasn't as if he ever wanted to sleep in the damn thing again, especially not if she'd had Chris in it. She had said they hadn't, but somehow Kayne didn't trust her one iota. It had been a very awkward conversation when Jacen had reluctantly said they could share. His face was bright red, and Kayne had to bite his cheek to stop himself from laughing. Micah hadn't looked too impressed by the invitation, but he hadn't said anything, maybe because Sammy was already up and pulling him through the door to head home, though Kayne got the feeling he'd be hearing about it the next day at work.

  As he walked into the bedroom, Kayne wondered how he was going to keep from pulling Jacen into his arms during the night. Would it freak Jacen out if he woke up in Kayne's embrace—with Kayne wrapped around him like an extra blanket? Would Jacen even want to wake up that way? The uncertainty was the one thing stopping Kayne from falling on his knees and begging Jacen to love him again. Rubbing a hand across his face, he groaned. He was so fucked. This, right here, was the point of no return. He could go ahead with his plan to win Jacen's heart, or he could walk away before he fucked up their already-strained friendship all together. At the moment it was a pretty even race as to what way things wo
uld go.

  Kayne was sitting on the edge of the bed when the bathroom door opened up and Jacen stepped out with just a towel wrapped around his slender hips. The bruising which covered his torso was still a shock to see and made Kayne want to beat the crap out of George even more than he already did. Reaching out, he picked up the tube of ointment then he gestured for Jacen to come closer. Jacen blushed, shook his head and headed for his dresser. Pulling open the drawer, he grabbed some boxer briefs and pulled them on while keeping the towel firmly in place. Was it bad Kayne hoped the towel fell off? Probably.

  "Come over here and let me rub the cream on your back."

  Again Kayne tapped the bed beside him. This time Jacen slowly walked over and stood before him. Standing up, Kayne added, "Maybe if you lie on your stomach, it'll be a little easier on you."

  Without talking, Jacen lay down on the bed as instructed.

  "Roll onto your back and I'll do your chest first. No sense in both of us getting this stuff all over our hands." When Jacen rolled over, his eyes were firmly closed. A deep flush marred his pale skin. In Kayne's mind he looked so beautiful. Kayne straddled Jacen's thighs as he slowly began massaging the ointment into the man. Sitting there like he was, he realised Jacen looked good beneath him. "Turn over," he said huskily as he got off of Jacen's legs. When Jacen was resettled, Kayne once again straddled his thighs as his hands skimmed over Jacen's back. A tremble ran through Jacen when Kayne pulled down the waist of his briefs so he could apply the cream to a particularly nasty bruise which ran below the waistband. Jacen froze beneath him as Kayne accidently, or maybe on purpose, let his fingertips caress the crease of Jacen's arse. Letting his fingers have one more pass over Jacen's sexy as fuck backside, Kayne reluctantly pulled Jacen's briefs back into place.

  "All done! I'm just going to have a shower. Why don't you get into bed? When I'm finished, I'll bring us in a cuppa. Do you still drink green tea?"

  "Yeah, thanks." Jacen didn't turn toward him as he spoke and Kayne had to wonder if Jacen was affected by it all as much as he was. If Jacen rolled over right now, would his cock be nice and hard?

  "Um, yeah, I'll be back soon." Kayne walked out of the room before Jacen could see how turned on he had gotten from just applying cream to his back. If Jacen saw, maybe he would rethink letting Kayne share his bed.

  Crossing the hall, Kayne locked the bathroom door as he stripped and stepped into the shower. The cold water blasting him as he started the shower did little to help deflate his hard-on. As the water heated, Kayne wrapped his hand around his cock and began stroking to relieve the ache in his balls. Leaning back against the cool tiles, he tried to think of a way to tell Jacen what he wanted. How was he supposed to say he wanted Jacen to love him? How was he supposed to explain just how much he needed the man in the other room in his life? He just wasn't sure how Jacen would react. Kayne would hate to lay his heart out only to have Jacen tell him there was absolutely no chance of them being together. Sometimes he hated his life, but if he had a do-over, would he change anything? No, because changing the past would lose him Macen, and he absolutely loved his son.

  Closing his eyes, Jacen's name fell from his lips in a gasp as his balls tightened against his body. Pin pricks of pleasure danced around the length of his spine as his orgasm raced through his body. The sensation of sexual tension almost drove him to his knees as his body gave up its release.

  Shakily Kayne washed up. After drying off and getting dressed, he headed to the kitchen to make the cuppas. Getting back to the bedroom he was disappointed to see Jacen had put a shirt on to sleep in. He had been looking forward to being able to touch—albeit accidently on purpose—skin at some stage. Jacen had a body which was made to be loved on, and from now on, he wanted that person to be him.

  "I didn't know whether you wanted a bickie or not, so I grabbed a couple of the chocolate covered ones. I seem to recall you always did have a sweet tooth," Kayne said with a smile as he put the mug and the plate with the biscuits on the bedside table before carrying his own mug to the opposite side of the bed.

  "Thank you." Jacen managed to sit up and Kayne automatically adjusted the pillow behind him to protect his back from leaning against the cast iron bedhead.

  It was obvious Jacen was a little more than embarrassed by sharing his bed.

  "Talk to me Jace. Tell me what's on your mind?"

  "I just didn't expect to ever share a bed with you, and even though I know it's just a necessity for one night, I…" He trailed off.

  "You what?"

  Taking a deep breath Jacen answered him. "I'm kinda glad I'm not alone now they can't find George. I feel like a total wuss having you here to rescue me like you did in high school, but at the same time, I'm so grateful. I just feel so damn scared all the time. If George…if George"—his voice trembled—"shows up, I don't think I'd be able to fight him again, not that I fought him last time. Three on one is a—" Jacen slapped his hands over his mouth as his eyes widened in horror at what he had almost admitted, and it made Kayne see red.

  "What?" Kayne demanded, nearly spilling his tea in the process. "Tell me exactly what happened—all of it. I need to know."

  "Okay, the night we broke up, I forgot I was supposed to be meeting up with George. We were planning on going out with some friends of ours…his. I didn't really have friends other than Margie and she certainly didn't like George."

  "Stop getting sidetracked," Kayne bit out. He knew Jacen was stalling.

  "Fine, I'd been talking to Micah on the phone earlier, and what Micah had said to me finally made sense. When George called looking for me I stupidly told him I was moving home to Queensland. I wanted to be near my family again."

  Reaching out, Kayne took Jacen's hand. "I take it George didn't like the idea of you leaving too well."

  Fear passed over Jacen's face. "You could say that, or you could say George and his two best friends decided to pay me a little visit and teach me a lesson as a going away present. As I told Dad this morning, no one leaves George Woodrow without paying the penalty." Jacen shuddered. "They just barged in and beat the crap out of me. Well, George did while his friends cheered him on, but in the hospital I was told the others must have joined as there were three distinct boot-sized bruises found on me. Luckily, my friend Margie had planned on stopping by to help me pack, because the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital with her sitting beside me and there were police waiting to talk to me. Margie explained to me what happened, then she and her boyfriend packed up my unit for me, and I came home. I stayed with them until I was healed enough to travel."

  "Why didn't you call someone? We're your family. We would have come to help. I know for a fact Micah and I would've been on the first available flight. I can only imagine how pissed off your dad is right now, especially for him to agree to me staying here with you."

  "Why would Dad have a problem with you staying here?"

  Kayne could have kicked himself for blurting out his secret. He didn't want Jacen to feel any more embarrassed.

  "Kayne, why would my dad have a problem with you staying with me?"

  "Because he saw us kiss all those years ago. The night I stupidly let you walk away." Heat flooded Kayne's face as he watched Jacen's eyes open wide in shock. "Actually both Teagan and your dad saw us. Desmond wasn't very happy with me at the time and told me in no uncertain terms to let you go. He wanted you to be happy and you wouldn't be happy here if I was getting in your way."

  "He never told me any of this. Dad never said a word to me, I swear." Jacen pulled his hand away and tucked it under the sheet.

  "I asked him not to. It was my fault because I followed you out there. I kissed you without asking. So I did as he requested and let you go, even though I wanted so desperately for you to stay." Admitting this made Kayne's heart ache, because he hadn't realised until right then how much one idiotic promise had messed up his own life.

  Frowning, Jacen blurted out. "But you aren't gay. After I left, you got married. I never unde
rstood why you'd kissed me. I figured you were just messing with me. I never held it against you at all. Back then I was just happy I finally got to kiss you and you didn't hate me afterward. Why would my dad tell you to let me go? It just doesn't make sense."

  "I'd never hate you." Picking up his cup, Kayne took a sip of his tea. "Though, I did miss you terribly once you were gone. It wasn't the same after you left. Going around to your place and not seeing you there was kind of odd. Then the whole thing with Teagan happened and I'd basically screwed myself good."

  "I had to leave," Jacen whispered.

  Nodding in thought Kayne asked, "I always had to wonder if you left because of me. I tried to ask Micah once, but chickened out because he'd never known I had feelings for you back then. Mostly I was scared to lose Micah as well. At least through him I got second-hand information about you."

  Jacen blushed. "He knew. I actually promised him when I first realised I was gay that I'd never tell you how I felt. But I was eleven at the time. Our lives have changed so much since." Jacen chuckled. "I was a kid back then, and now I know what is and isn't achievable in a relationship. I never ever hit on straight guys, so you are perfectly safe with me. I promise not to jump your bones in your sleep. Anyway, I'm just too damn sore right now to do it."

  It didn't go unnoticed that Jacen couldn't—or wouldn't—look him in the eyes, and Kayne grimaced knowing that he had once again made Jacen feel uncomfortable around him. One of these days he was going to be able to hold a conversation with this man without coming off looking like a complete idiot, though it probably would have been better to not have this conversation in the bedroom while they were half naked and lying in the same bed. If he were honest with himself, he would have to admit Jacen probably didn't want him to be this far into his personal space at all. His thoughts were confirmed when Jacen spoke again.