“Now,” he said, scanning all the buildings he could see in the distance, “point me in the direction of pastries. It sounds like you need a listening ear.”
Chapter Sixteen
“So,” Josh said around a mouthful of chocolate stuffed croissant, “I know the gossip magazine version of your life since you left school, but I want to hear your side of the story.”
I found myself staring at his lips. He had a few flakes of pastry clinging around his mouth. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was on his lips, wiping away the crumbs. He stopped chewing, and the corners of his mouth twitched, like he was afraid if he smiled, I’d stop.
When I came to my senses, I quickly removed my hand, and looked down at my feet, then over at a sculpture of an elegant woman who sat pensively, holding her knees close to her chest.
“Oh, it’s not that interesting,” I said with a shrug. “Celebrity magazines have a way of making things sound more fantastic than they really are. Otherwise, readers might actually catch on that we rich and famous really aren’t all that different from them.”
“Except for being rich and famous,” Josh pointed out.
I grinned and admitted, “Well, yes. There is that, but in terms of problems, and feelings, and the day to day living, I feel like a lot of life is the same for everybody.”
Josh took another bite, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he groaned. “I know this is your billionth time visiting Paris, but you have to have one of these. It’s like heaven in bread form.”
Frowning, I eyed the paper bag he held up. I’d bought a peach and a bottle of Perrier but had utterly refused eating a delectable French pastry. Once I started, I couldn’t stop myself, and I knew exactly how long I’d have to use an elliptical to undo the damage.
“I don’t think I can afford all the calories and butter those things have in them,” I answered.
“Kiki!” Josh said through a throaty laugh. “Stop worrying about stuff like that. For one, you just sprinted for like, two whole miles. Plus, a donut once in a while isn’t going to kill you.”
“I need to keep this figure. As much as it’s about the music, I’d be naïve to think people also weren’t my fans because they like looking at me and watching me dance.”
“Trust me, Kiki. A treat occasionally isn’t going to change any of that.” I was pretty sure Josh snuck a look down at my skin-tight leggings and I blushed slightly. It didn’t feel creepy, the way it did when Preston obtusely let his eyes roll down my curves. With Josh, it felt like a tasteful appreciation of what I’d worked hard to achieve. I know I’d been guilty of the same thing with him.
My mouth was already drooling the second I entertained the thought of eating one of the pastries from the bag he held toward me. My resolve was eroded by the acid sloshing around in my hungry stomach. A peach wasn’t going to cut it this morning.
“Fine!” I said, exasperated. Without breaking eye contact with Josh, I reached in and grabbed a random pastry. I took an enormous bite, and red jam shot out all over Josh, splattering his shirt and shoes.
Covering my mouth as I bit back my laughter, I managed to spit out, “That’s what you get for telling me what to do.”
Looking amused, Josh conceded. “I guess so. I’ll make a mental note never to make you enjoy jelly-filled pastries ever again.”
Looking around for something to wipe the jam off with, he gave up and pulled his shirt to his mouth, licking off a majority of the jam. I tried not to stare at his chiseled abs but they were kind of right there for the whole world to gloriously see. I focused on chewing and swallowing without choking myself.
“Guess that’ll have to be good enough,” Josh said.
“It’s not that bad,” I offered.
“You’d be singing a different tune if I’d have squirted jam on you.”
“Nah,” I disagreed. “It would’ve been the perfect excuse to go shopping.”
We started strolling again, in no particular direction. Being with Josh now felt natural and easy. He’d proven more than once he was fully capable of doing his job, and we’d built up enough of a rapport that even silence was comfortable. I didn’t feel the need to put on a show for him like I did for so many others. I appreciated that.
“You never told me your side of the story. I’m beginning to think the jam crisis was a diversion,” Josh said, looking down at me from the corner of his eye.
“Fine,” I sighed. “Just don’t blame me if you die of boredom.”
“I find that highly implausible. Nothing you do is boring. Talk away.”
I told him about my mother and how, even as a single parent barely scraping by, she’d supported my ambitions to make it big in the music industry. She’d worked two jobs, found outfits for me to wear to auditions in second-hand shops and hand sewed on details to make them really pop.
“And she was okay with you quitting school?” Josh asked.
“Not at first,” I admitted. “And technically, I didn’t quit. I finished early.”
“Semantics,” Josh chuckled.
“An important distinction,” I corrected. “She drove me all over the place to go to auditions and paid for hours and hours of music lessons.”
“Do you play anything other than the drums?”
“I wanted to play the guitar, so I could be a double threat like Ruby, but other than some self-taught piano and drums, my mom could only really afford voice lessons. Besides, drumming came naturally, and it’s only improved with time and experience. I’m proficient enough now in piano that I can play and sing in concert if needed. When I was first starting, I threw myself into singing so I could be the star of the show instead of a backup guitarist or the drummer of a band. Something about being in the spotlight always called to me.”
“What’s your mom up to now? I bet she’s incredibly proud of you,” Josh asked.
“Actually, she up and got breast cancer and died on me a couple years ago.”
Josh looked sadly at me. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks,” I said, my throat feeling a bit constricted. “She was always bragging about me ever since I was a toddler using an empty toilet paper roll as my microphone.”
“She got to see you really succeed, though. I bet that made her happy.”
“The best part of all this fame is that I was able to buy her a really nice house so she could quit working herself ragged and enjoy life.”
Josh nodded and let a few moments slip by in silence. “Do you mind if I ask what happened to your dad?”
“Oh,” I sighed, “there’s not much to tell. He’s the story of a regular, deadbeat dad. He left when I was five, and his parenting was intermittent at best. Once I made it big, he only showed up to ask for money. It’s been a few years since the last time I turned him down.”
Josh kicked at a patch of gravel on the pavement. We’d found ourselves on a tree lined sidewalk, with wooden benches scattered on both sides of the path and a quaint, glassy pond nearby. A few ducks paddled around in the water, dipping down below the surface every so often and rustling their feathers as they groomed themselves. Taking my hand, Josh pulled me over to a bench by the water, and we watched the fowl live their uncomplicated lives.
“Enough about me,” I said, breaking the silence. “What about you, Mr. Big Football Hotshot? Did the NFL ever come knocking?”
“You remember that about me, huh?” Josh said, leaning over and resting his elbows on his thighs.
“How could I not? You were the center of the football universe as far as our school was concerned.”
Josh smiled. “True. I played through high school and was recruited by Nebraska as a quarterback. I was about to have my day in the limelight, but one day at spring practice, a play didn’t go quite right, and a four-hundred-pound lineman landed on me wrong.”
“Ugh,” I said with a shudder. “That couldn’t have been pretty.”
“It wasn’t,” Josh said grimly. “Knees are not supposed to bend like that. The i
njury shattered my leg, and it took one heck of a surgery and a whole lot of physical therapy to even be able to walk again. I’m probably back to about ninety-five percent capacity, but it still aches occasionally, especially when I remember a giant sumo-wrestler-of-a-man landing on me.”
“And that ended your hopes for the NFL?”
Josh slowly nodded. “Pretty much. I’m not supposed to play contact sports anymore, so I got into body guarding. It’s about the closest thing I can get to the rush of football.”
“And you didn’t want to settle down and start a family of your own? I’m sure there was a line of girls out the door who wanted to date you. I mean, in just the past few weeks you’ve had everyone from the brunette reporter to Tina the hostess throwing themselves at you.”
Josh scoffed in good humor. “Plastic Barbie and Tina-the-Cougar? No, thanks.”
“Those are only two examples. Surely, there are others,” I said. I could feel jealousy seeping through my veins. Why was I pushing this topic so much?
“I am a man,” Josh said with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, I’ve had committed relationships but I’m not the type to have a girl at every port. I haven’t found the one is all.”
“You believe in there being one person for everyone?” I asked skeptically, raising one eyebrow.
“Don’t you? I mean, sometimes, there are relationships where it’s fun to be around the person, but at its core, it lacks the spark that takes the regular old relationship into soulmates territory. Take Preston for example.”
“What about him?”
“Would you date him again?” Josh asked
“Are you testing the waters to see if I’m available?” I teased, making my eyebrows pulse up and down. Josh laughed but didn’t answer. “Honestly, I’d rather eat my own arm than date him again.”
“Why’s that?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Well, it was fun for a while until he showed his true colors. Our relationship was damaged and incomplete at its best.”
“It was missing something, right? A spark? That magical little thing that somehow perpetuates a love that’s more than mere infatuation.”
“So, how do you think you know when you’ve found it? Because at this point, I’m pretty sure I’m going to die an old maid. It’s too difficult for me to know when someone is being genuine and when someone’s banking on my success. It’s unnerving not being seen as much more than a cash cow.”
“You’re not a cow,” Josh said seriously.
“You know what I mean.” I smacked his arm and he grinned.
From my armband, my phone buzzed. I took it out and read a frantic text from Ruby. “Oh, we should probably get going,” I murmured, standing up from the bench. “I forgot we have our first concert practice this afternoon. Is it really already eleven thirty?”
I didn’t wait for Josh to follow and instead, started power walking along the sidewalk, while bits of sharp gravel crunched under my feet.
“Wait!” Josh called, jogging to catch up.
“I can’t!” I called back, looking over my shoulder. “We have to get back so I can shower. I’m not spending all day in these grimy clothes.”
“No, I mean—”
Before he finished, I felt my foot squish right into a fresh pile of dog poop. I immediately hopped back but the damage was done. I groaned as the putrid smell made it up to my nostrils, and I hopped over to the grass, trying my best to wipe off the mess.
“See why it’s so important all dog owners do their part?” Josh said with a playful glint in his eye.
“Shut up,” I said, half-laughing, half-sneering. “You are not giving me a lecture about responsible pet ownership right now.”
I pulled the shoe off my foot and grimaced as I surveyed the damage. “I loved these shoes,” I whined and pouted. “Do you see a trash can?”
“No, but wait here a second.” Josh ran over to the water’s edge and dumped out the last uneaten pastry. The ducks all swarmed it, and in a matter of seconds, it was devoured. Returning back to the path, he held open the bag for me to put my shoe in.
“Really? You know I can just afford another pair.”
“Waste not, want not, right? You know that saying, don’t you?”
Giving him a massive eye roll, I plunked my shoe into the bag and tightly sealed the top. Trying to pick up the pace again toward a street where we could hail a taxi, I limped with each sharp rock that stabbed the sole of my foot.
Without warning, Josh took the bag out of my hands and scooped me up in his arms.
“We can’t have you going lame right before the start of your big tour, now can we?”
I reached behind his neck to help distribute my weight, but Josh didn’t seem the least bit burdened. “I suppose compared to trying to shove over enormous linemen, carrying me isn’t so bad.”
“Nah, you’re a little sprite in comparison. Plus, you smell and look a lot better than them.”
My face burned furiously, and I bit my lip. It was hard not to look at him with our faces so close together. I could feel his breath tickle my neck, and I stole a glance at his eyes to see if I could divine what he was thinking.
He was already looking at me, and though my sensible, practical brain tried screaming at me to look away, that nothing good could come from indulging in my lovesick fantasies, my drumming heart was speaking loud and clear that the magic Josh had been talking about indeed was a very real thing.
My eyes dropped down to Josh’s mouth and back up to his eyes, noticing he’d done the same. Reaching up my hand, I lightly ran my fingertips along the edge of his jawline and back behind his neck where I interlocked my fingers. Josh had slowed to a halt, and he stood there, holding me beneath a row of towering oak trees, both of us wondering where a little indulgence might take us. Drawing him closer to my lips, we were on the cusp of finishing that almost-kiss we’d shared at the conclusion of filming Only You.
A horrendous, banshee-like shriek snapped us out of our intimate moment, and we both whipped our heads around to see a group of college-age girls, huddled close together and jumping up and down. No less than a half-dozen phones had been pulled out and were already recording us.
One of them had tears streaming down her face and was breathing hard enough she might pass out, she pointed at us. “It’s Kiki Loveless! Right there!”
And just like that…poof. The magic was gone.
Chapter Seventeen
I walked out of my hotel room with Cinnamon secured in an oversized tote with an unexpected spring in my step. Though nothing had become of our private moment in the park, the potential of it all still held promise. There was no mistaking that Josh had wanted to reciprocate but that he too understood the life I was leading. Josh had whispered at me to humor them—they were my devoted fans after all—and I gave a few autographs and told a very funny rendition of why I was down one shoe after stepping in dog poo the size of a cow pie.
Thankfully, Josh also knew when to call it quits and politely excused us as an Uber he’d quickly ordered pulled up to the curb to pick us up. We said nothing on the way back, but when he placed his hand next to mine and didn’t move it for the duration of the car ride back, all I could do was smile out the window at the harmless flirting we were doing.
“Well doesn’t somebody look happy?” Ruby said as she came out of her adjacent hotel suite.
“What? A girl can’t smile?” I said, giving her my signature deadpan look.
Ruby smirked knowingly at me, ribbing me with her elbow. I couldn’t hold back the happiness that felt like it was going to burst out of me, blowing me into a million pieces if I didn’t let it out as an ear-to-ear grin.
“There it is!” Ruby cried and pointed an accusing finger at me.
“My smile? Yes, I feel my cheeks pulling my lips up and exposing my teeth,” I said sarcastically.
“No,” she groaned. “You know what I mean. That’s your special smile. The one that you only let out if there’s something really, re
ally fantastic going on. Question is, what is it?”
I walked over to the elevator and pushed the down button, ignoring Ruby’s incessant need to know everything.
“You’re going to make me guess, huh?” Ruby said, tapping a finger on her lip as she accepted the challenge. “Well, I know it’s not the release of your new video because that happened a few days ago. Only You is rapidly climbing the charts but hasn’t made it to number one.”
“Yet,” I interrupted.
“Yet,” Ruby agreed. “That leaves inheriting a large family fortune, winning the lottery, and newfound love. Since you’re already disgustingly wealthy, I’m pinning my guess on newfound love.”
My mouth opened at her intuitiveness, but I quickly composed myself, sniffing at her guess. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The elevator dinged, and the doors opened, but before I could step my gorgeous red patent leather shoes inside, Ruby shot an arm across the doors to prevent me.”
I said, “Excuse me. I’d like to go down to the lobby so we can make it to rehearsal in time, and I don’t want to walk down who knows how many flights of stairs in these shoes.”
“You’re not going anywhere until I get some answers,” she said with a wicked grin.
I sighed. Sometimes, I hated that she was taller than me and had the advantage of longer arms. She was forever stealing my water bottle while we were working out because she’d forgotten her own or snatching the candies out of my trail mix when she thought I wasn’t looking.
“Seriously, there’s nothing to tell,” I insisted.
Ruby studied my face for a moment, then looked over her shoulder. “Where’s Josh?”
“Looking bone-deep sexy wherever he is, I’m sure,” I murmured without thinking.
Ruby’s eyes widened, and she covered her open mouth with her hand and pointed a finger at me with the other. I’d blown it.
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