“You’re quite happy caged up in the palace like one of your black leopards?”
“I suppose I am.” This was a terrible mistake. How did she think she could call him here and speak in any kind of articulate way? She should have known she’d be tongue-tied and hopeless in his presence.
She decided to just be honest. “I’ve missed you.”
“You haven’t missed much. I’ve been the grouchiest patient the doctor has ever seen. Consider yourself lucky you were well out of the way.”
Her heart constricted. He hadn’t missed her. Or at least he wasn’t willing to admit it.
“You were right, you know.” She continued, growing strength from her own desperation. If this was her once chance, she wanted to make it count. “About me not being satisfied with my life as a lonely widow. You showed me that.”
He blinked, and she saw something flicker in his eyes. It wasn’t love, though. It looked more like pain. “I’m sorry for that. I think I did you a disservice.”
“How?”
“Because you were content. You planned to live out your life quietly raising your children. Now you want more—and I can’t give it to you.”
“Why not?” Her question contained a tiny howl of protest.
“I never could. I don’t know what I was doing. I guess I just couldn’t resist.”
“But I like you…” I love you. She wanted to say it but didn’t dare. She had a feeling her confession might be turned into a weapon he could use against her.
“You should know better than to like me. I warned you against me from the start. I’m nothing but trouble. The one thing I did pride myself on was getting the job done—and now I can’t even seem to do that.”
“That’s not true. You were very brave to confront the suspects.”
“I was stupid. I wanted to prove something and I proved the exact opposite.” He frowned, and that muscle flickered in his cheek. “You deserve a real man, Aliyah. A man who will cherish you and care for you. A man who can devote his life to you and raise your children as his own. Who’ll live a long, happy life with you.”
“I do.” Her heart swelled as she decided to take a big risk of her own. “And that could be you.”
She couldn’t believe she’d been bold enough to say it.
He couldn’t either. His dark eyes widened and he looked lost for words. Then his shoulders tightened. “It could never be me. I’ve learned to depend on myself, to keep away from others. I have too much anger and bitterness inside me to ever be the caring lover and warm husband you need.”
“But why? Why can’t you let go of it?” She protested, suddenly furious that he could be so stubborn. “You’re a grown man. You don’t have to hold onto resentments from your childhood. There’s no need. You should do exactly what you told me to do—leave the past behind and embrace the future.”
Gibran swallowed. He blinked, as if considering if it was a possibility. Then his chest rose and fell. “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. I don’t want to spoil the comfortable existence you have here at the palace. Everyone here loves you and your children. I’ll always be the black sheep who makes people feel wary.”
“No, you won’t!” Now she was getting truly exasperated. “The only reason you pride yourself on your solitude is that you’re afraid to get close to anyone. You’re scared that you’ll get hurt if you show love or affection or try to build a relationship.” Tears sprang to her eyes as her voice rose. “If anything, you’re a coward.”
Heart pounding, she waited for his reaction, sure it would be explosive.
He stared at her, stunned. “A coward?” His dark eyes flashed with emotion. “I’d rather die than be a coward. I’d rather be stupid than be a coward. I’d rather risk my life than be a coward.”
“Then risk it, dammit!” Unable to contain her emotion any longer, she beat her fists against his chest, and they bounced off the hard muscle. “Risk something. Risk your life. Risk having some feelings for a change. I know you felt something between us. Something magical, and real, and beautiful! And now you just want to pretend like it never happened and you’re making me so damn angry I want to scream!”
Gibran stared, speechless.
Aliyah couldn’t believe her tirade either. That was the first time in her life she’d actually cursed out loud. Of course she’d never been this furious before.
“Now that I’ve had a chance spend time with you, and seen you with my children, I know there’s a lot more to you than you’d like people to think. That under that tough exterior there beats a warm heart that craves love as much as any of us do. If only you weren’t so damn stubborn maybe you’d actually get to experience the life you were so keen for me to have!”
He winced and wobbled a little.
Panic shot through her. She’d actually hit him on his chest—and he was injured. Regret seared her. “Are you okay? Wait, that’s a stupid question. Of course you’re not okay. Come sit down. If you can, of course. Is it better to sit down or stand up?”
He probably wanted to turn and run for the door—or at least the closest he could get to running right now.
But he didn’t move.
“You’re right.” He spoke with slow deliberation, his voice low and sonorous. “You’re right about everything.”
He inhaled a ragged breath and she watched his chest rise. “I do have feelings for you. Feelings so strong that they take my breath away. Feelings so powerful they make the ground shift under my feet. Feelings that scare the living heck out of me in a way that terrorists and dictators have never been able to.”
Aliyah felt hot tears rise to her eyes.
“You’re right that I’ve been a coward, afraid to confront what’s happening between us, because it doesn’t fit into my neat worldview where I’m a carefree soldier of fortune who takes what I need from life and doesn’t give anything back.”
He shifted his weight slightly, and she saw him wince in pain. “And you’re right that I care about you. I’ve lain awake at night hating myself for that. Hating myself for making you care about me, when I’m not worth a single thought from your warm and loving mind.”
“But you are!” she protested. “Why can’t you believe that? I’ve never felt this way before, either. Don’t you think it scares me, too? I was safe in my little ivory tower, with all my feelings on lockdown. You smashed through the walls and showed me true joy, real pleasure, and happiness that I’d never dared to imagine. Now you think you can just walk away?” She hesitated, reaching deep inside her for the strength to admit the truth. “I love you, Gibran. You may think I’m a fool for loving you, but I do.”
“I love you, too, Aliyah.” His dark gaze locked onto hers with the force of a punch. She could feel the weight of his words and knew the effort it took him to say them. “I didn’t think I was capable of it, and I’m pretty sure it’s no good for either of us, but I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Silence throbbed in the air, along with emotion—and frustration that words were so unequal to express what either of them wanted to say.
Gibran took a painful step forward and gathered Aliyah in his arms—which wasn’t easy with the crutch already there—and she flew into his offered embrace.
He loved her.
She loved him.
But what under heaven could they do about it?
CHAPTER TWENTY
Time ticked by, and still Gibran held Aliyah tight. Maybe they were both afraid to break the spell by moving. “I’ve tried everything to distract myself from you.” She could feel his heart beating hard against her own chest. “I wanted to get you out of my mind so I could forget you, and you could forget me—”
“But why?” Aliyah pressed her cheek against his collarbone.
“Our…affair was a flirtation, a fantasy, as long as no one knew about it. We could enjoy each other, then I could disappear with no one being any the wiser. Once I got injured there was no way we could see each other without everyone knowing. I can h
ardly climb down from your roof like this.” He pulled back enough to gesture at the crutch.
“You were worried about my reputation?”
“Of course.” He stroked her cheek with a rough thumb. “You told me yourself that you’re a respectable woman. I know you’re concerned about how others see you.” He frowned, and she wondered if his injuries were bothering him. Then he fixed a piercing gaze on her. “There’s only one solution.”
Panic flared in her heart. Was he going to insist on leaving? On making sure no one ever found out they’d been together? She didn’t dare tell him that she’d already admitted their relationship to Sam and Ronnie. “What?” she breathed.
His eyes darkened, and fixed on hers with breathtaking intensity. “Aliyah, will you marry me?”
“What?” She couldn’t have heard him right.
“I want you to be my wife.” His voice was deep, sonorous, and the words very clear.
Aliyah blinked. For a second she couldn’t believe it, then her heart swelled with hope. “Do you mean it?”
“Of course. An Ubarite man never takes marriage lightly. And since most Ubarite couples meet and wed during the annual three-day ceremony, we’ve had a much longer acquaintance than most.”
“True.” She was so stunned she couldn’t quite process what he was saying. She’d just hoped to talk to him, to hear why he was rejecting her, and now he was proposing that they spend their lives together?
All the reasons that it was impossible rose in her mind. “So…we’d live together here at the palace?”
She heard—and felt—his sharp inhale. “I don’t think that would be ideal. I’m sure Osman and Sam would like their privacy. And I wouldn’t want to feel like I’m imposing on his hospitality, even though he is my brother.” He pulled back enough to study her face. “All the time I was trying not to think about you, instead I was exploring different scenarios in my mind. The tradition for Ubarite couples is for them to live with the husband’s family, at least when they’re starting out.”
Aliyah couldn’t see how that helped. “But your father was the king, so that would mean we should live here at the palace.”
“My father is dead. But my mother’s still alive and I created a beautiful home for her. It’s not far from here, really, just over half-an-hour by car. It’s easily big enough for all of us—”
Aliyah’s mind was working a hundred miles an hour. “What about my girls?”
“They would come, too, of course. Being with their mother is far more important than being in a royal palace. And if there’s anything missing there that you enjoyed here, I’ll make sure to provide it. I’ve made enough money risking my foolish life that I can make sure you live like a queen.”
“I don’t care about any of that stuff.” She didn’t want him to think that she cherished the luxuries and indulgences of the palace. “I didn’t grow up with it. It means nothing to me. But my girls’ education. They’re too young right now, of course, but Osman promised me that there would be a good school for them to go to, or they could have a tutor….”
“And I promise the same. I know my brothers are working on overhauling the educational system here, so hopefully there will be good schooling for every child in Ubar by the time little Parsia is ready, and in the meantime I’ll scour the world for the best tutor there is so Nasri can begin her studies whenever you think she’s ready.”
“Osman might be mad.” She bit her lip, remembering how upset Osman had been at Sam’s suggestion that she move elsewhere.
“I know the whole family adores you and your girls, but we can promise to visit all the time, and your family, too.”
“I suppose going to live with your mother would fit Ubarite tradition very well.” Was it really possible that this could actually work out? It seemed to good to be true. “But how does she feel about it?” She didn’t know anything about Nabila Al Nazariyah, though she’d certainly wondered about the woman who brought Gibran into the world.
“She knows nothing about this or about you. I think I should visit her to tell her.” His eyes shone with excitement that stirred emotion inside her. “But I’m sure she’ll be thrilled. She’s been nagging me for years to find a wife and settle down.”
Aliyah bit her lip. There was no avoiding it. “I bet she’ll be surprised that I was married to her former lover.”
Gibran looked startled, like he hadn’t actually considered that strange reality. “I’d forgotten about that.” Then his chest heaved in a chuckle. “Maybe you can compare notes. Buts seriously, if anything it will probably draw you closer. She’s a very sweet and gentle woman. Not at all like me. I’m one hundred percent certain she’ll adore you and will be thrilled to have you as a daughter and a sister. And I know she’ll be ecstatic to have the girls move in. She loves children and was always sad she never got the chance to have more.”
“This sounds too good to be true.”
“Nothing ever goes that smoothly, but we’ve both traveled a pretty rocky road so far, so I think we can handle it.”
She felt a smile spreading across her face. “Looking at it that way, I think you’re right.”
The possibility of sharing her life—and her bed—with Gibran was almost too wonderful to even consider. “Do you think your brothers will be shocked?”
“I’m sure they will.” His chest shook with laughter. “And quite possibly horrified, as well. They might think I’ve usurped your innocence. And Sam and Ronnie might want to kill me if they ever find out I already came to your bed.”
Aliyah blinked. If Gibran was going to be her husband she didn’t want any secrets between them. “I already told them.”
“What?” He looked stunned. “What did they say?”
“They said that you were nuts to try to push me away and that I had to go after you. They’re entirely responsible for me having the nerve to ask you here today.”
Gibran burst out laughing. “Then I guess I have a lot to thank them for. Luckily, it looks like I’ll have a lifetime to do it.”
Their lips met, and a surge of relief flooded Aliyah as they let all their emotion flow into a passionate kiss. They held each other tight, and she felt like she never wanted to let go.
You did it! She’d been brave and strong enough to tell him the truth, and the feel of his strong arms around her was the sweetest reward she could imagine.
His hands roamed over her body, feeling her curves and chafing her skin through her thin dress. His fingertips sparked arousal and their steamy embrace only heightened the fire building inside her. She could feel him growing hard against her until finally their lips parted and they stared at each other, eyes glowing.
Aliyah glanced down at the impressive bulge in his pants. “I don’t think the doctors would approve.”
Mischief sparkled in his eyes. “I’m sure they wouldn’t. And they wouldn’t approve of what we’re going to do next, either.”
“You can’t!” She tried to fight the surge of lust that heated her whole body. “It will hurt too much.”
“I don’t think I’ll feel a single thing—except pleasure.” He slid a hand inside the front of her dress and cupped her breast, and she heard his sharp intake of breath.
Aliyah felt a smile creep across her mouth. “Lie on the bed and let me undress you.”
Gibran chuckled, low and seductive. “Usually I don’t like to take orders, but in this case…”
She helped him up onto the bed and peeled away his clothes. The bandages on his leg and torso couldn’t distract from the sight of his powerful physique. She shed her own clothes and climbed over him, quivering with excitement. She was already so wet and ready that, big as he was, he slid right inside her.
She sank over him with a shudder of relief and an ecstatic whimper. For once she didn’t care if anyone heard—or if everyone heard—Gibran was hers and they would soon be man and wife.
She moved over him carefully, trying not to hurt him, but soon the tide of passion carried them both awa
y and she forgot about his injuries as they moved together toward the most intense climax she’d experienced yet.
She collapsed onto him, breathing hard, and his strong arms closed around her back, holding her close. “I feel better already,” he murmured, at last. “Trying to stay away from you was the most painful experience of my life.”
“Thank goodness one of us finally came to our senses,” she teased.
“I suspect you’ll always be the more sensible one of us, and I bow to your wisdom.”
She smiled, inhaling the sexy, spicy scent of him. “My wisdom—and my courage—has increased a lot since I’ve met you, so I think we’ll be on the same footing where wisdom is concerned. How about we agree to share all decisions concerning our future?” A sudden realization made her gasp. “We didn’t use protection.”
“No.” He kissed her cheek. “We didn’t.”
She laughed, suddenly so filled with love and excitement she wanted to burst. “You want to have a child?”
He stroked her hair, and for a second she could swear she saw moisture glisten in his piercing dark eyes. “With you, I want everything.”
EPILOGUE
“Aliyah, I thought your wedding was going to be immediate family only?” Ronnie glanced around in confusion at the large crowd gathering in the palace garden. “This looks almost as big as my joint wedding with Sam where we invited almost everyone we knew!”
Aliyah laughed. “I have a big family. My dad has seven brothers, and each of them has at least five children. He also has six sisters and all but one of them has seven or eight children, and on my mom’s side of the family—”
Ronnie laughed. “I get it! I can’t believe you guys pulled together this amazing celebration in less than a week.”
“In Ubar we don’t waste a lot of time being engaged.” She grinned. “We like to get right to the good part.”
“Understandable.” Ronnie winked. “Though I imagine that you guys have already got a jump start on the good part. I suspect you’ll soon be joining us in craving strange foods.” Ronnie had recently announced—with great excitement—that she and Zadir were expecting a baby.
Desert Kings Boxed Set: The Complete Series Books 1-6 Page 61
