by Jane Porter
“Why are you crying?” he asked when she finally grew quiet, his arm low around her waist, holding her securely to him.
“I realize I’ve made so many mistakes,” she said, before hiccupping. “Too many. It’s overwhelming.”
“Want to talk about them?”
She shook her head. “No.” She struggled to wipe her cheeks dry. “I’m too ashamed.”
*
Joe held her until she fell asleep, and then he eased away and left the bed. He grabbed his jeans and boots and shirt carried them with him down the hall to the bathroom. It was the middle of the night but he took a shower, a long hot shower, before dressing and heading to the family room where he stretched out on the couch.
Making love to Sophie had been amazing, earth-shattering. Until she began to cry, and then once she started to cry, she couldn’t stop and Joe realized that what had been powerful and life changing for him was a terrible mistake for her.
He slept for a few hours and then woke up before daybreak. In the kitchen, he splashed cold water on his face, made coffee, filled a thermos, and grabbed some day-old biscuits before heading to the barn. He had a lot of work to do, a long day in the saddle, and he had no idea when he’d be back.
Maybe because he didn’t want to be back.
Chapter Eleven
Sophie had Monday off, which meant she was home all day waiting for Joe to appear, but he didn’t return to the house for lunch, and he wasn’t back late afternoon, either.
He never stayed out after dark.
The long-standing rule for all ranch employees was that everybody reported in before dusk. In all the time Sophie had known Joe, he’d never been late, he’d never not returned by dark. He was like clockwork. Four thirty, he was in. Four thirty, his horse was groomed, animals fed, he was in the kitchen washing up to help with dinner, or assist his mom.
But it was most definitely dark now and Joe wasn’t back.
Her heart hurt, and her eyes burned and she paced the kitchen frantically, watching the clock, waiting for his boots to thud on the porch before he’d open that back door.
Fifteen minutes passed, and then a half hour, but still no sign of Joe.
Finally, heartsick, she started dinner, browning the pork chops even as she swung from fear to anger and back to fear again. She was worried. Had something happened to him? Why hadn’t he come back? Why did no one else seem bothered by the fact that Joe wasn’t home?
She headed for the family room where Granddad and Summer were watching the evening news.
“Dinner’s almost ready,” she said.
“Should we eat in here tonight?” Melvin said. “We can eat as we watch the news.”
“Joe’s not back yet,” Sophie said, feeling as if they knew something she didn’t know, because they never ate in front of the TV and it was almost an hour past the time they normally ate. “Joe hasn’t returned yet, and that’s not like him.”
Melvin muted the TV. “He’s back,” he said bluntly. “He’s fine.”
Sophie’s heart lifted, and relief swept through her. She almost felt dizzy at the news. “I didn’t see him come in. When did he get back?”
“You probably won’t see him tonight,” Summer said. “He’s sleeping in the bunkhouse tonight.”
Sophie froze. “Why?” she asked, before she could stop herself.
There was an uncomfortable beat of silence for a moment, and then Melvin said, “Joe just needs some time. Even as a boy, if he got upset, he needed space and time.”
Sophie slowly understood what they were saying, what was happening. “He doesn’t want to see me.”
“Just give him time,” Summer said with a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s not easy, but everything will work out.”
*
Summer was right about one thing; it wasn’t easy giving Joe time. His silence felt like rejection, and the rejection felt like abandonment. Sophie wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t feel strong enough. She wasn’t prepared.
She suddenly felt like it was December and her entire world was crashing in again. It hadn’t crossed her mind that Leo would leave her. And now Joe didn’t want to see her. He didn’t want to talk to her. He wanted nothing to do with her. And Sophie didn’t know what to do. She felt absolutely desperate, and cried herself to sleep, only to waken an hour later, numb and heartsick.
Was it over between them?
Joe’s mom had counseled for Sophie to be patient, and give Joe space, and time, but that was also the very thing Leo’s mom had told her when he’d ended things.
He just needs time.
He’ll come around.
But he didn’t. And Sophie didn’t think Joe would, either.
In the morning, after what had been an endless, sleepless night, Sophie started to cry yet again, and they were exhausted tears, but also furious tears because this wasn’t the marriage she’d come to Montana for.
This wasn’t the practical businesslike arrangement they’d wanted.
This was awful, and emotional, and heartbreaking, and obviously Joe wanted no part of it, and to be honest, she didn’t want it, either.
She wanted what they’d agreed to—practical.
Unemotional.
Safe.
Love wasn’t safe. Love was intense and confusing and awful.
Crying, Sophie began to pack, shoving her clothes and shoes into her oversized suitcases. She didn’t know where she would go. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She did have work in a little less than two hours, and she debated calling in sick, but that didn’t seem fair to Amanda, so no, she’d go to Marietta, and work, and then she’d try to figure out what she was going to do both in the short-term and the long-term.
Sophie carried her things downstairs, wondering if she bumped into in any of the Wyatt family, but the downstairs was quiet, most of the rooms dark. She suspected that Granddad was already out in the barn, and Summer must still be in bed. Summer tended to sleep in in the mornings, probably because she stayed up late each night.
She poured herself a cup of the coffee that had been made, doctored it so that it was the way she liked it, and shushing the dogs, carried her things out to the car. It required two trips, and then a third for her coffee mug.
She’d have to get the mug and the car back to Joe.
She’d have to get her heart back, too, but she didn’t know when that would happen.
Hot tears burned her eyes. She blinked hard, hating the lump filling her throat.
Sophie climbed behind the steering wheel and started the engine. She glanced up at the two-story log cabin house and saw a curtain move in the room on the far right. Summer’s room.
Sophie’s chest squeezed tightly. Had Summer seen her load the car with her things?
Fighting fresh tears, she reversed the small SUV even as she kept an eye on the dogs, and then she shifted into drive and accelerated, leaving the Wyatt ranch behind.
*
“You look really rough,” Amanda said later that morning, as she stopped by the reception desk in the salon to say hello to Sophie.
“I feel pretty rough,” Sophie admitted.
“Let me guess. First fight with Joe?”
And just like that the sting of tears returned. “Close. It’s my last fight with Joe.” Sophie’s voice cracked. “I’ve left the ranch; have moved out of the Wyatt’s house.”
“Why?”
“I realized I can’t do this… can’t pretend I don’t want more, or need more, when I do.”
“So you’re… done? You’re just leaving him?”
Sophie squeezed her eyes shut, but even then, she could see Joe, and feel him, and feel how much she loved him. She didn’t want to leave him, and she couldn’t imagine being without him now. In six weeks, his world had become her world, and his family had become her family, and she’d come to love Montana.
And Joe.
How she loved Joe.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Sophie confessed. “
I just… I’m… hurt. Really hurt, and really angry. And most of all, confused. I never thought he’d do this.”
“What did he do?”
“He disappeared. He just… left, moving into the bunkhouse. I don’t understand. Why would he just shut me out?”
“That’s not like Joe. Something must have happened.”
“We made love and then he disappeared.”
“Okay, something happened. What happened?”
Sophie’s eyes filled with tears. “I cried after.”
“You cried, sometimes women do that after sex.”
“But I didn’t stop crying for a long time.”
“Oh.”
Sophie nodded and chewed on the inside of her lip. “I need to talk to him.”
“I agree, but don’t you think that’s a conversation you should have with him face-to-face?”
“Yes.” Sophie rubbed beneath her eyes. “I hate that I packed my things. I hate that I left.”
“No one knows you left. He probably doesn’t know you’ve left yet. Go home and talk to him. It might be hard but isn’t he worth it?”
“Absolutely.”
Amanda glanced at her watch. “Do you want to leave now? We can manage without you. We survived for a week without a receptionist before you started.”
“I’m not ready to go back yet. I think having a little break is good for me, but what if I head back after lunch? So I’ll stick around and work half day?”
“Sounds good, but if you need to leave sooner, you can.”
Sophie was busy restocking shampoos and conditioners and styling products into the glass display when she glanced out the front window and spotted a familiar person slowly heading up the sidewalk to the salon’s front door.
Joe’s mom was here.
Sophie froze for a moment before she came back to life, rushing to the door to open it for her mother-in-law. “What are you doing here? Do you have an appointment?” Sophie asked, feeling stupid and confused all over again.
“No. I just came to see you.”
“Did Granddad bring you?”
“No.”
“Joe?”
“No.”
A lump filled Sophie’s throat and she swallowed hard. “How did you get here then?”
“I borrowed Joe’s truck.”
Sophie suddenly felt faint. “You’re joking.”
“It was the only vehicle available.” She grimaced. “It was very difficult getting into it, and I almost fell getting out of it, but no matter. I’m here. I didn’t die, although driving, there was a moment where I swerved and almost hit a tree—”
“Summer, you’re terrifying me.”
“Me as well. It’s not that easy of a truck to drive.”
“No, I guess not.” Sophie took her by the elbow. “Should we go sit down? Would you like a cup of coffee, or tea? There might be some bubbly water in the refrigerator.”
“I would like to sit and rest.”
“I think we both should sit. I’m about to have a heart attack just listening to your adventures getting here.” She walked Joe’s mom down the small hall and out the back to a small covered porch filled with white wicker furniture and pink and green pillows. “I’ll get us some water, and I’ll be right back.”
Sophie grabbed her phone, sent Joe a text. “Your mom is here in Marietta. She came in your truck.” And then she took two bottles of chilled water from the refrigerator and hurried out to the porch where Summer was waiting for her in a wicker rocking chair.
Sophie removed the lid from one water and handed it to her mother-in-law.
“Isn’t this delightful?” Summer said, her gaze sweeping the porch and the little garden beyond. “So pretty and feminine. I didn’t get the appeal of a pink salon but I might be changing my mind.”
Sophie sat down across from her and leaned forward. “Summer, does anyone know you’re here?”
“No.”
“So you just took Joe’s truck and came here?” Sophie didn’t mean for her voice to rise but she felt beyond panicked and anxious. Hopefully Joe would see her text soon. He didn’t want everyone worried, and they would worry when they discovered Summer gone.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I needed to talk to you, and no, it wasn’t convenient getting here, but I’m here, and I won’t have him interfering. Men can be useless, and clueless, and Joe is no exception.”
Sophie didn’t know if she felt better or worse. “Maybe we should call, tell Granddad.”
“They’re both out on their horses, riding in the backcountry. I’ll be back before he even notices that either of us are gone,” she said, emphasizing the last words, even as her gaze met Sophie’s and held. Most pointedly.
Sophie’s heart fell. So Summer had seen her carry all her bags out to the Jeep. And now she was here, despite driving being painful for her.
Sophie rubbed at her forehead, the dull ache intensifying. “It’s not what it looks like,” she said. “All my bags in the car.”
“I’m not here to tell you what to do, Sophie. I’m not here to judge you, either. Marriage is hard, even when you’re madly in love with the other person. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to marry a virtual stranger.”
Sophie’s head jerked up and her gaze met Summer’s.
“I know more than you think I know,” Summer admitted with a faint smile. “I know about the wife wanted ad on that agriculture dating website—”
“What?”
Summer nodded. “Billy told me. And then I found it, thanks to my iPad. I love my iPad.”
Sophie’s head was spinning. “So that first day when I arrived at the house… you knew?”
“I knew you’d come to Montana to marry my Joe, yes.”
“You weren’t happy.”
“I didn’t know you, and I was suspicious. What were your motives? Why would you give up your life in California to move to our ranch in Paradise Valley?” She paused, lips pursing. “And then you married at the courthouse just days later. I was not happy, but I was also intrigued.”
Sophie’s mouth dried. “How did you find that out?”
“My good friend Alice Watkinson works at the courthouse and spotted you two getting your marriage license, and then heading upstairs to the judge’s office.”
“So you’ve known all this time?”
“Yes.”
“But you said nothing.”
“I was interested in seeing how you two were going to make this work. You’ve surprised me. I didn’t think an internet relationship would be successful, but you two have proved me wrong.”
“So if you knew about the courthouse wedding, why are we doing this second wedding?”
“Because I wasn’t there at the first, and none of my friends were there at the first. Dad wasn’t there. Joe’s brothers weren’t there. We want to celebrate with you.”
Sophie’s eyes narrowed. She eyed her mother-in-law suspiciously, remembering Joe’s words, she’s that smart.
“Why do I feel like the wedding plans were a test?” Sophie said after a moment. “Because you weren’t happy in the beginning. You were mad—”
“Not mad, but concerned. I had my doubts.”
“So all those painful, uncomfortable wedding discussions…”
“They weren’t all uncomfortable,” Summer answered with a faint smile.
“Most of them were. You were so…” Sophie struggled to find the right word. “Difficult. And stubborn. You wanted what you wanted.”
“I did. You’re absolutely right. I wanted my Joe happy. I wanted my son to marry someone who cared about him. I wanted my son to have a wife who put him first, because as much as I loved Charity, and I did adore Charity, she never put Joe first. She couldn’t understand why the ranch was so important to him, and yet you, an outsider, got it right away. And you, Sophie Correia Wyatt, are the wife he deserves. You’re exactly the wife I would want for him. Exactly the wife I’d pick if it were up to me. Stron
g, kind, independent, loving. You’re the perfect wife for him, and once I realized that, I wanted you two to have a proper wedding. Because you deserve it. You both deserve all the happiness in the world.”
*
Sophie left Joe’s truck in town, parked in front of the Wright Salon, and drove Summer back to the ranch in the hunter-green Jeep. Joe was standing in the middle of the circular driveway when they arrived home. He helped his mom out of the car, and saw her into the house before returning outside to join Sophie on the long covered porch.
“You came back,” he said roughly.
There was a raw note of pain in his deep voice and it reached into her chest and made her heart knot and ache.
“I had to come back,” she said. “Your mom needed a ride.” Then she added, “And because I made a promise to you that if I leave, I’ll always come back. We’re supposed to be a team.” Her voice cracked and she felt so bruised on the inside. “And let’s be honest, Joe. You were the one that left me.”
“I didn’t leave you. I was simply giving you space.”
“But you moved out into the bunkhouse. You didn’t talk to me. You did everything you could to avoid me. You effectively shut me out, ignoring me as if I no longer existed.”
“I thought you might need it.”
“Why would I want to feel rejected and abandoned?”
“I didn’t reject you,” he growled. “That’s not what happened.”
“No? What happened then?”
“We made love and you regretted it—”
“I didn’t regret it.”
“You cried.”
“Because the orgasm was intense.”
“You cried for a very long time, Sophie.”
“I know, and I’m sorry if it made you feel weird. I was just overwhelmed.”
“That’s why I left. I wasn’t punishing you. I was trying to give you space, and privacy—” He broke off before he finished tightly, “I know you still have feelings for Leo and I’m beginning to realize you have regrets—”
“Oh, Joe, you’ve got it all wrong. I don’t love Leo. I don’t love him anymore, at all. Did he hurt me? Yes. He betrayed me, and broke my trust, but I don’t love him, or miss him, or want to be with him.”
“You cried after we made love.”
