Update: Berkowitz became a born-again Christian in prison in 1987. On his personal website—yep, he has one, reportedly administered with the help of friends outside of prison—he says he no longer wants to be known as “Son of Sam,” but now goes by the name “Son of Hope.”
Win some, lose some: Contrary to Hollywood myth, U.S. ship captains cannot legally perform weddings, but the police can legally commandeer your vehicle.
VOMIT COMETS
Theme-park rides keep getting bigger and faster. Here are a few from around the world guaranteed to make you lose your lunch.
KINGDA KA
Location: Six Flags Great Adventure (Jackson, New Jersey)
Details: It’s one of the tallest and fastest roller coasters on the planet. A ride on Kingda Ka lasts only 28 seconds, but it’s a thrill ride. You’re catapulted by cable-launch, going from 0 to 128 mph in a mere 3.5 seconds, soaring up a 456-foot incline, through a 270-degree spiral, and finally plummeting 418 feet straight down. Those brave enough to get aboard are said to experience near-weightlessness during the ride. Further adding to Ka’s reputation: a real live Bengal tiger paces back and forth in a pen next to the coaster.
FORMULA ROSSA
Location: Ferrari World (Abu Dhabi)
Details: Formula Rossa stole the “World’s Fastest” title from Kingda Ka when it opened in November 2010. The coaster begins on a platform inside the theme park before slinging riders along a track that runs out into a barren stretch of desert and back in again. Rossa reaches its top speed of 150 mph in 4.9 seconds, and utilizes a cable-launch system modeled after the mechanized catapults that send jets off the decks of aircraft carriers. Bonus: Riders sit in cars designed to look like Formula One Ferraris. (There are 20 Ferrari-themed attractions in Ferrari World, including a carousel with Ferrari prototypes instead of horses, and a flume ride “through the heart of a Ferrari 599 engine.”)
MISSION: SPACE
Location: Epcot (Orlando, Florida)
Details: Disney theme parks are known for their family-friendly attractions, but this ride is about as far removed from “It’s a Small World” as it gets. Since this motion simulator (in which riders experience G-forces similar to those endured by astronauts during a rocket launch) first opened in 2003, dozens of riders have been rushed to the hospital complaining of nausea and chest pains. Result: Disney engineers had to add airsickness bags, a first in theme-park history. In 2006 after numerous incidents—including two fatalities—and complaints from guests (and from the park employees who had to clean up after them), Epcot introduced a toned-down, non-spinning version of the ride.
X-SCREAM
Location: The Stratosphere (Las Vegas, Nevada)
Details: This ride might not be so intimidating if it wasn’t on top of the tallest structure in Las Vegas. X-Scream features an open-top car attached to a pivoting 69-foot track. The track seesaws, sending the car directly over the edge of the Stratosphere hotel, giving riders the sensation of plummeting toward the pavement 866 feet below. X-Scream’s software is programmed to further strike terror into riders’ hearts: At one point, the car lurches forward a second time, briefly convincing those onboard that something’s wrong with the brakes.
NOTHIN’ BUT NET
Location: Zero Gravity Thrill Park (Dallas, Texas)
Details: It’s an incredibly simple (but incredibly scary) concept: Adrenaline junkies climb to the top of the 16-story structure and then free fall—backwards—into a specially-designed net 130 feet below. The ride simulates the feeling of falling backward off the top of a cliff, which, according to participants, is terrifying. Dr. David Eagleman, a professor at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, used the attraction in a study on how the brain perceives time during moments of panic and terror.
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DUMB BUNNY JOKES
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it.
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on it.
No joke: Ancient Egyptians measured the depth of the Nile using “nilometers.”
LAST TWEETS
What makes uninteresting tweets interesting? When the Twitter.com users are famous, and they don’t know they will die soon after sending it.
“Somebody convince me to stay with AT&T. What do they offer that’s better than even Metro PCS?”
—Comedian Patrice O’Neal
“Sunday evening. Been an awful week, but my friends have been great. But now I have to somehow pull myself together and finish with the HELLS ANGELS & PROLIFIC DEMONS!”
—Fashion designer Alexander McQueen
“‘To Paris with Love’ is #4 on the Billboard Dance Club Play Charts! xo”
—Donna Summer
“New you, New York, big city of dreams, but everything in New York ain’t always what it seems.”
—Musician DJ AM
“I called you a putz, cause I thought you were being intentionally disingenuous. If not, I apologize.”
—Political writer Andrew Breitbart, to a reader
“Time to get back into the run of things. I’m filled up on eggnog, figgy pudding, and all that other Christmas stuff. Time for the gym, baby!”
—Wrestler Randy “Macho Man” Savage
“Oinka oinka oinka, why you awake?”
—Amy Winehouse
“My interview in Bazaar with Kim Kardashian came out!!!”
—Elizabeth Taylor
“In Japan there’s a 20 foot picture of me endorsing one of my favorite hotels. Seeing it is surreal. PS. Stay there. Put food on my table!”
—Dennis Hopper
“BE INSPIRED!”
—Rapper Heavy D
“My new album, The Titanic Requiem, is in stores in UK today and rest of Europe later this week. Hope you enjoy it!”
—Robin Gibb (of the Bee Gees)
Canada’s official motto, A Mari Usque ad Mare, means “From sea to sea.”
IT’S A GUN AND A…
People seem to love objects that are designed to serve multiple purposes. Thomas Jefferson designed a table that converts to a chair. (Genius!) Collectors prize Amphicars—cars that can drive into water and become boats. Here are a few vintage guns that were designed to do double or even triple duty.
APACHE REVOLVER (1870)
Special Feature: A built-in knife and brass knuckles
Details: Manufactured from 1870 until 1900 by a Belgian company, L. Dolne a Liege, the Apache looked sort of like a standard revolver except that the handle was a set of brass knuckles, and the barrel was replaced with a knife blade. The gun folded up so that it could be hidden in a pocket or used as brass knuckles. Unfolded, it could be shot as a gun or used as a knife to stab someone. The lack of a barrel and the small size of the gun limited its firepower, though it could still be deadly at point-blank range…to the owner as well as to a victim: There was no trigger guard or safety lock to prevent the gun from firing accidentally while being carried.
KEY GUNS (1500s)
Special Feature: Ability to unlock doors
Details: These guns, made from the 16th to the 19th centuries, were designed with a particularly vulnerable person in mind: a jailer unlocking a cell door. To make it less tempting for an inmate to rush the jailer when his hands were occupied with opening or closing the cell door, the key itself became a weapon. If the keyhole passed all the way through the door, the jailer could shoot right through it at an attacking inmate.
COFFEE-MILL SHARPS CARBINE (1859)
Special Feature: Coffee grinder in the wooden shoulder stock
Details: Thousands of ordinary Sharps carbines were issued to Union soldiers during the Civil War. In those days it was still common for troops to live off the land, so the military outfitted some of the carbines with hand-cranked coffee grinders, enabling soldiers to grind not just coffee—they could use it to grind grain into flour, as well. The idea was to issue one soldier in every unit a coffee-mill carbine, but the plan was
never realized and relatively few of the guns were ever issued. (No water for the coffee? No problem. Colt, another gunmaker, made a pistol with a canteen in its stock.)
Elvis Presley recorded more than 600 songs, but didn’t write any of them.
RS KNIFE GUN (1990s)
Special Feature: You guessed it—it’s a knife and a gun
Details: Designed by a company called Global Research and Development, the knife had a five-shot revolver concealed inside the handle. When trouble struck, twisting a latch on the handle 180 degrees caused a spring-loaded trigger to pop into position, and the gun was now ready to fire its bullets through a hole in the front of the handle. G.R.A.D. made fewer than 500 knife guns before it went out of business.
PRATT HELMET (circa 1910)
Special Feature: A helmet complete with “head gun”
Details: Invented by a Vermont man named Albert Pratt, the steel helmet had a large spike on top, like the helmets Germans wore in World War I. It also had a gun barrel sticking out the front, and a gun sight that hung down into the wearer’s line of sight. A pneumatic tube running from the rear of the helmet to the wearer’s mouth served as the trigger. To fire, just blow. According to Pratt’s patent application, the gun was aimed by the “marksman” turning his head in the direction of the target, “leaving his hands and feet free to further defend himself.” Extra-Special Feature: The top of the hat was removable and could be “inverted and used as a cooking utensil,” with the gun barrel doing double duty as a pot handle, and the spike, stuck into the dirt, holding the pot steady over a fire.
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“It’s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.”
—Wynne McGlaughlin
$toned: Studies show coming into money can have the same effect on the brain as drug use.
SHRIMP
A few little shrimp facts.
Shrimp exist in a dazzling array of shapes, sizes, and colors. They comprise 2,000 species and are found in deep ocean waters, shallow tidal waters, and freshwater, in every region of every continent but Antarctica.
They are arthropods—the shelled, segmented phylum that includes all insects, arachnids, and crustaceans. More specifically, shrimp are part of the order Decapoda. All decapods have ten legs, a trait shrimps share with their cousins—crabs and lobsters.
Large shrimp are often called prawns, and vice versa. While they look very much alike, shrimp are more closely related to crabs and lobsters than they are to prawns. Prawns differ in that they have three pairs of pincers rather than a shrimp’s two, they don’t have a pronounced abdomen bend, and they don’t “brood” their eggs—females release them right into the water.
Shrimp are primarily swimmers, not crawlers.
“Cleaner shrimp” survive by eating parasites and dead tissue off of other creatures. Many of these shrimp species live in coral reefs, where they hang out at what biologists call “cleaning stations”—places where fish, sea turtles, and eels go to be nibbled clean.
Shrimp can breed only after a female molts. A male deposits sperm on a female’s underbelly. The female releases eggs (25,000 to a million at a time), which pass through the sperm and are fertilized. She carries the eggs on hairlike structures on her legs, where they’re protected by the shell that soon regrows. Weeks later, the tiny hatchlings are dispersed into the water.
While most shrimp species live from 9 to 18 months, some, such as the North Atlantic shrimp, live to eight years.
The 2011 movie The Muppets is rated PG for “sex and nudity.”
STEAMERS & WONGERS
Just because you came to Las Vegas in a $50,000 Mercedes and left in a $250,000 Greyhound bus, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn some casino slang and at least sound like you know what you’re doing.
Action Jackson: A gambler who plays around the clock.
Arm: A craps player so skilled at throwing dice that with the flick of the wrist they can alter the odds of the game.
Bricks/Flats: Dice that have been shaved or otherwise altered for the purpose of cheating.
Bad Beat: When a good hand loses to an even better hand.
Toking: Tipping the dealer.
George: A good toker.
Tom: A bad toker.
Stiff: A player who never tokes, no matter how much they win.
Steamer: A player who bets wildly in an attempt to make up for past losses. Also called a chaser or plunger.
Playing the Rush: A player who plays more aggressively or loosely after winning several bets in close succession.
Firing: Repeatedly placing big bets.
Rail Bird: Someone who stands back from the table and watches other people gamble.
Silver Miner: Someone who wanders the casino floor looking for coins in unattended slot machines.
Calling Station: A poker player who frequently calls (matches the bets of other players), but rarely raises or folds.
Washing: The rubbing hand motion a croupier or dealer makes when leaving the table, to show they aren’t stealing any chips.
Wonging: Counting cards at a blackjack table and joining the game only when the count indicates players have the advantage. (Named after a professional gambler named Stanford Wong.)
Flea: A small-stakes gambler who still expects to be “comped” by the casino with free meals, rooms, chips, etc.
What does the EPA use to decontaminate people exposed to anthrax? Household bleach.
ALL ABOUT CORDUROY
A few lines about fabric with lines.
Corduroy is a type of fabric characterized by its ribbed, or “corded,” texture. It was first made in the textile manufacturing center of Manchester, England, in the late 1700s.
• The word “corduroy” dates to the 1780s. Its exact origin is unknown, but most etymologists believe it’s a combination of the words cord, as in a ropelike cord, and duroy, an obsolete type of fabric once made in England. Some sources say the word derives from the French corde du roi, meaning “king’s cord.” This is false.
• Corduroy is a type of woven textile known as a cut-pile fabric. The weaving process results in one of the fabric’s surfaces being loose loops of thread, or pile. After weaving, the fabric is passed through a machine that cuts the loops relatively close to the surface. The process also “brushes” the fabric, causing the threads to tuft. All of this results in the fuzzy texture that cut-pile fabrics are known for. Other cut-pile fabrics include velvet and velour. A pile fabric in which the loops of thread are not cut: terry cloth. In corduroy manufacture, the pile is cut into orderly vertical ribs and valleys—giving corduroy its “corded” texture.
• The ribs (or cords) are known as “wales.” Corduroy comes in different types, based on the width of the wales:
Broadwale has wide wales—4 to 6 per inch of fabric
Midwale has medium-sized wales—8 to 10 per inch
Pinwale, also called pincord—12 to 16 wales per inch
Babycord has very narrow wales—18 to 30 per inch
• Filmmaker Wes Anderson is a corduroy freak. He had his personal tailor, Vahram Mateosian, design a corduroy wardrobe for the cast of his 2001 film The Royal Tenenbaums.
• Eddie Vedder was inspired to write Pearl Jam’s 1994 hit “Corduroy” when he saw an “Eddie Vedder” corduroy jacket being sold for $650. It was modeled on one Vedder wore, which he said he bought in a thrift store for $12.
The Corduroy Appreciation Club (yes, there really is one) calls both Jan. 1 (1|1) and Nov. 11 (11|11) official “Corduroy Appreciation Day” (the dates look like corduroy).
A DARK AND STORMY WRITE
Alas, life just isn’t fair. Consider the case of Edward Bulwer-Lytton, a successful 19th-century author who was forgotten by history, then rediscovered…but only so that readers could ridicule him for one really bad opening line.
BAD TO THE BONE
It’s a rare author who can generate a single sentence that inspires ridicule from writers as
divergent as Edgar Allen Poe and Charles Schulz. But that’s what Edward Bulwer-Lytton succeeded in doing. The terrible line that sealed his reputation is the opening of his 1830 novel Paul Clifford:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Interestingly, when Charles Schulz used it in 1965 in the comic strip Peanuts (it was the opening line of Snoopy’s forever unfinished novel), he probably improved the line greatly simply by stopping after the first seven words, because part of the awfulness of the line is the way it goes on and on (and on).
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