“I can’t see the visions, but they fill my head.” She gestured to her forehead. “It’s an agonizing blackness that takes over until I paint and get them out. I can’t stop them from coming, and it’s too painful to ignore them. I would go insane if I tried to keep them all inside.”
“But it’s killing you.” I slumped in the chair. “Why even teach other Trylle how to use the abilities? If it means you’ll grow weak and old.”
“That’s the price,” she sighed. “We go mad if we don’t use them, we age if we do.
The more powerful we are, the more cursed we are.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “I’ll go crazy if I stop?”
“I don’t really know what will happen to you.” Elora rested her chin on her hand, eyeing me up. “You’re your father’s daughter, too.”
“What?” I shook my head. “You mean because I have Vittra blood, too?”
“Precisely,” she nodded.
“Tove told me about them. He said they’re very strong, but I’m not strong.” I remembered all the fights I’d been in throughout my illustrious school career, and I’d taken a beating as often as I’d given one. “I’m not like that.”
“Some are physically strong, yes,” Elora clarified. “That Loki Staad, I believe, is very strong. If I recall correctly, he could lift a grand piano by the time he could walk.”
“Yeah, I can’t do that.”
“Oren isn’t that way. He is…” She trailed off, thinking. “You met him. How old you do think he is?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “A few years younger than you, maybe.”
“When I married him, he was seventy-six, and that was twenty years ago,” Elora said.
“Whoa. What?” I stood up. “You’re telling me that he’s nearly a hundred? He’s over twice your age? So you look older, and he looks younger? How?”
“He’s something like immortal.”
“He’s immortal?” I gaped at her.
“No, Princess, I said he’s something like immortal,” Elora said carefully. “Oren ages, but at a much slower rate, and he heals very quickly. It’s hard for him to be hurt. He’s one of the last pure-blooded Vittra to be born.”
“That’s what makes me so special, and that’s why you weren’t worried when I told you that my host mother almost killed me.” I rested my hands on the back of the chair, supporting myself with it. “You think I’m like him.”
“The hope is that you’re like us both,” Elora said. “You’ll have the Trylle abilities to move and control things, and the Vittra abilities to heal and be strong enough to handle them.”
“Holy hell.” My hands trembled, and I sat down. “Now I know how a racehorse feels. I wasn’t conceived. I was bred.”
“That’s not exactly how it was,” Elora bristled a bit at the accusation.
“Really?” I looked over at her. “That’s why you married my father, wasn’t it? So you could make me - your perfect little biological weapon. Once you did, you left him and tried to keep me all for yourself. That’s what this whole feud is about now, isn’t it? Who can control me?”
“No, that’s not right.” Elora shook her head. “I married your father because I was eighteen and my parents told me to. Oren seemed kind at first, and everyone told me it was the only way we could stop the fighting. I could stop the bloodshed if I would only marry him, so I agreed to it.”
“What bloodshed?” I asked. “What were the Trylle and the Vittra fighting over?”
“The Vittra are dying. Their abilities are fading, they’re running out of money, and Oren’s always believed that he’s entitled to anything he wants,” Elora said. “What he wanted was everything we had. Our wealth, our population.
“But what he wanted most was my power,” she went on. “My mother’s originally.
When she refused his advances, he waged endless battles against us. We used to be a great people with cities all over the world, but now he’s left us with a few isolated pockets.”
“And you married that? A man who killed your people because your mother wouldn’t have him?” I asked.
“They didn’t explain that all to me when we became engaged, but Oren agreed to peace in exchange for my hand in marriage,” Elora explained. “My parents believed they didn’t have a choice, and Oren turned on the charm. He might not have telekinesis, but Oren can be very persuasive when he wants.”
“So you married him and united the people. What went wrong?” I asked.
“Some of the cities revolted, refusing to combine with the Vittra,” Elora said. “My parents were still King and Queen, and they wanted to reason with them. They sent Oren and me as ambassadors, to sway them to our way of thinking.
“At the very first city, people questioned us, and him in particular,” Elora continued. “He managed to charm them, and using some of my own persuasion, we convinced even the most ardent doubter to join the Vittra alliance. Later, this would prove to be a fatal mistake.
“I never loved Oren, but in the beginning of our marriage, I cared for him. I thought I might one day grow to love him,” Elora said. “What I didn’t realize was how hard he had to work to be that way, and as we went on our tour, his mask began to slip.
“We stopped in a village in Canada, and we had a town hall meeting with all the Trylle, the way we had in the other cities.” Elora paused, staring out the window at the icy weather. “Everyone was there. Even the mänsklig children, all the trackers and their families.
“Someone asked Oren what he hoped to gain from all this, and for some reason, it was more than Oren could bear.” She let out a deep breath and lowered his eyes.
“He began yelling and attacking them, and the villagers began fighting back. So…
Oren killed them all. We were the only two survivors.
“He spun the story, and I went along with it because I didn’t know what else to do,” Elora said. “My parents had convinced me that we needed him for peace.
Oren was my husband, and I had been complicit in the murders of our own people because I didn’t stand up to him. If I had, I would’ve been killed too, but that didn’t change the fact that I did nothing to save them.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, unsure of how else to respond to her confession.
“Oren was labeled a war hero, and I…” She trailed off, picking absently at the fur that covered her.
“Why did you stay with him?” I asked.
“You mean after I realized that I’d married a monster?” Elora asked with a sad smile. “I didn’t used to be the way I am now. I was much more trusting, much more willing to hope and believe, and follow. That is one thing I can thank your father for.
He made me realize that I had to be a leader.”
“What made you finally leave?” I asked.
“Oren made an effort after we got back. He tried to be kind, or as kind as he could manage,” she said. “He didn’t beat me or call me names. He would patronize my every thought or word, but we had peace. No war. No deaths. A bad marriage seemed worth it to me. I could handle that if no one else had to die.
“Then I became pregnant with you, and it all changed.” Elora rearranged herself on the chaise. “What I didn’t realize then was that you were all he ever wanted. A perfect heir to his throne. We tried for nearly three years before I conceived, and that wait had been trying on him as it was.
“As soon as he found out he was having a child, it was like a switch had flipped inside him.” Elora snapped her fingers to demonstrate. “He was even more domineering. He never let me leave the room. He didn’t even want me to leave the bed, in case it would risk losing you.
“My mother and I began looking into families for you to go to,” she said. “I knew I had to leave you as a changeling, not because it was what we did, but because I couldn’t let Oren raise you. Oren did not want that. He wanted you all for himself.
“When my father, the King, decreed that you must be a changeling, the way all heirs to the throne had
been, Oren took me, and we left,” Elora said. “We lived in the Vittra palace, where he had me locked up as a prisoner.
“Two weeks before you were due, my mother and father broke me out of his palace,” Elora said. “My father was killed in the fight, along with many other brave Trylle. My mother took me away to a family she’d been secretly researching - the Everlys. It was a hasty switch, but they seemed to have everything you would need.
“After I had you, I…” She stopped, completely lost in thought.
“You what?” I prompted when she didn’t say anything.
“It was the best thing for you,” she said. “I know you had problems with your host family, but I didn’t have time to pick or be choosy. I just needed you hidden from Oren.”
“Thank you,” I said lamely.
“As soon as you were born, I left. Your grandmother held you, but I didn’t have a chance,” Elora said. “We had to run before the Vittra found where we left you. We went to a safe house, a chalet in Canada.
“Even when Oren had lived here, we hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him of all our secret places,” she said. “But he found us in the chalet.”
“That Markis you’re so fond of?” Elora gestured in the direction of Loki’s room.
“It was his father that led Oren to us. He’s the one that got everyone killed.
“Oren killed my mother in front of me, and he vowed to get you as soon as you returned,” Elora swallowed. “He let me live because he wanted me to see him follow through on his promise. He wanted me to know that he’d won.”
21. Confessions
I wanted to ask her more questions, but Elora already looked so worn. She would never admit to being exhausted, but she should’ve been sleeping instead of speaking to me in the first place.
We talked for a bit more, and I excused myself. I paused when I reached the door and looked back. Elora had already sunken down on the chaise, and she held her hands over her eyes.
Garrett waited outside the door, pacing the hall. Thomas stood a few yards down, giving him space, but Aurora and Finn were long gone.
“How is she?” Garrett asked.
“She’s… good, I think,” I said. I wasn’t really sure how Elora was doing. “She’s resting, and that’s what counts.”
“Good,” Garrett nodded. He stared at the closed drawing room door for a moment, then turned his concern to me. “Your talk went well, then?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t know what to make of it all.
Elora had been so cold to me since I met her, to the point where I’d been certain she hated me, but now I wasn’t so sure. I had no idea how she must feel about me.
Elora hadn’t been much older than me when she married a man over three times her age, a man she didn’t even know. He turned out to be ruthless and cruel, but she stayed with him because she thought she could protect her people that way.
She sacrificed her happiness and well-being for her kingdom.
Then, to defend her unborn child, to save me, she risked everything. Both her parents lost their lives in a matter of months, killed by her own husband. He vowed revenge on her and sought to possess her newborn, a child she couldn’t even be around.
I wonder if she hated me, if she blamed me for her parents’ deaths, for all the trouble Oren caused her since I’d been born.
I don’t know how close Elora had been to her parents, but before the christening ceremony, she suggested that I take the name Ella, after her mother.
And Elora had spared Loki. His father had gotten her mother killed and nearly cost both Elora and me our lives. When given the chance for vengeance, Elora hadn’t taken any on Loki. I was starting to think I had misjudged her completely.
Elora’s insistence on perfection, on me being Queen became much clearer. So much had been lost for me, to ensure that I would someday take the Trylle throne.
My stomach twisted with shame as I realized how ungrateful I must have seemed to her. After everything she and her family and the entire Trylle population had done for me, I had given them so little in exchange.
When I looked up into Garrett’s worried eyes, I realized something else. His wife
- Willa’s mother - had died long before Willa came home. I wondered if she had died in one of the battles my father had waged against the Trylle. If Garrett had lost someone he loved because of me.
“I’m sorry,” I told him with tears stinging my eyes.
“What on earth for?” Garrett moved towards me, surprised by my display of emotion, and put his hand on my arm.
“Elora told me everything.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Everything that happened with Oren. And I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Garrett asked. “All of that was before you were even born.”
“I know, but I feel like… I should’ve been better. That I should be better,” I corrected myself. “After everything you went through, you deserve a great Queen.”
“That we do,” Garrett admitted with a small smile. “And you know that, so we should be on the right track.” He lowered his head to meet my eyes. “I’m certain you’ll be a great Queen someday.”
I wasn’t sure if I believed him, but I knew that I had to do everything I could. I would not let my kingdom down. I couldn’t.
Garrett needed to tend to Elora, so I left him to it. Thomas stayed outside the door, still standing guard but giving them alone time.
Duncan, Willa, and Matt were waiting for me by the stairs. As soon as I saw Matt’s face, I couldn’t hold it together any longer. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and Matt wrapped his arms around me.
Once I calmed down, we went up to my room. Duncan got us all hot tea, and I made him sit down and pour himself a cup. I hated when he acted like a servant.
Willa curled up next to me on the bed, comforting in a way that made me miss my aunt Maggie.
“So she’s dying?” Matt asked. He leaned against my desk, rolling the empty teacup between his hands.
I wasn’t sure how much Duncan or Willa knew about my parentage or about the how the Trylle abilities hurt us. I didn’t want to tell them too much, especially Matt, and make them worry. So I’d left out all the major plot points, and only let them know that Elora was sick.
“I think so,” I said. She hadn’t said that exactly, but she had aged so rapidly. She looked to be in her seventies now, and that was after Aurora Kroner had healed her.
“That really sucks,” Duncan said. He sat on the chest at the foot of my bed.
“You were talking to her and she just collapsed?” Willa asked. She rested her elbow on the pillow next to mine and propped her head up so she could look at me.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “The worst part is I was arguing with her right before it happened.”
“Aw, sweetie.” Willa reached out and touched my arm. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right?”
“Did she say what she’s dying from?” Matt asked. The crease on his forehead deepened, and he knew I had left something out.
“You know Elora.” I shrugged. “She’s vague on details.”
“That’s true,” Matt sighed, and that answer seemed to satisfy him. “I just don’t like mysterious illnesses.”
“Well, nobody does, Matt,” Willa said, with a teasing lilt to her voice.
“What were you and the Queen arguing about?” Duncan asked. He was changing the subject, which I would’ve been grateful for, until I remembered what it was.
I was supposed to marry Tove Kroner.
“Oh, hell.” I leaned my head back, so it thudded against the headboard.
“What is that for?” Willa asked.
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “It was stupid. That’s all.”
“Stupid?” Matt came over and sat on the bed by my feet. “Stupid how?”
“You know, normal stuff,” I floundered. “Elora wanted me to be a better Princess.
More punctual and stuff like that.”
“You do ne
ed to be more punctual,” Matt agreed. “Maggie was always on you about that.”
Another reminder of Maggie stung my heart. I hadn’t spoken to her since we’d returned to Förening. Matt had a few times, but I’d been avoiding her calls. I had been busy lately, but hearing her voice would only make me miss her too much.
“How is Maggie?” I asked, ignoring the ache in my chest.
“She’s good,” Matt said. “She’s staying in New York with friends, and she’s really confused about everything that’s going on. I keep telling her that everything’s fine, that we’re safe, and she needs to lay low.”
“Good.”
“You need to talk to her, though.” Matt gave me a hard look. “I can’t keep being the go-between for you.”
“I know.” I picked at chipped paint on my tea cup and lowered my eyes. “I don’t know how to answer her questions. Like where we are and when we’re coming back and when I’ll see her again.”
“I don’t know how to answer them either, but I make do,” Matt said.
“She’s had a long day,” Willa said, coming to my rescue. “I don’t think now is the time to lecture on things she should be doing.”
“You’re right.” Matt gave her a small smile before looking at me apologetically.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get on your case, Wendy.”
“No, its fine,” I said. “You’re just doing your job.”
“I don’t really know what my job is anymore,” Matt said wearily.
Someone knocked at the door, and Duncan jumped up to get it.
“Duncan, stop it,” I sighed. “You’re not the butler.”
“Maybe not, but you’re still the Princess,” Duncan said, and he opened my bedroom door.
“I hope I’m not disturbing anything,” Finn said, looking past Duncan at me.
As soon as his dark eyes landed on me, my breath caught in my throat. He stood at the door, his black hair mussed a bit. His vest neatly pressed with a dark stain from Elora’s blood on it, and he hadn’t had a chance to change yet.
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