"Any advice until you get into town?"
"I haven't given them my answer yet. That'll delay them. Once I say no, it'll take a little time to contact another hitter. You should be safe tonight. Enjoy your weekend off."
"How did you know I had the weekend off?"
"Craig is a very talkative secretary. Very helpful."
"I'll have to speak to him about that," I said.
"You do that."
"You're sure that there won't be a hitter in town tonight?"
"Nothing in life is sure, Anita, but I wouldn't like it if a client tried to hire me and then gave the job to someone else."
"You lose many clients at your own hands?" I asked.
"No comment," he said.
"So one last night of safety," I said.
"Probably, but be careful anyway."
"Who put the hit out on me?"
"I don't know," Edward said.
"What do you mean, you don't know? You have to know so you can get paid."
"I go through intermediaries most of the time. Keeps down the chance that the next client is a cop."
"How do you find wayward clients if they piss you off?"
"I can find them, but it takes time. Anita, if you've got a really good hitter on your tail, time is something you won't have."
"Oh, that was comforting."
"It wasn't supposed to be comforting," he said, "Can you think of anyone who hates you so badly and has this kind of money?"
I thought about that for a minute. "No. Most of the people that would fit the bill are dead."
"The only good enemy is a dead enemy," Edward said.
"Yeah."
"I heard a rumor that you're dating the master of the city. Is that true?"
I hesitated. I realized I was embarrassed to admit the truth to Edward. "Yeah, it's true."
"I had to hear you say it." I could almost hear him shake his head over the phone. "Damn, Anita, you know better than that."
"I know," I said.
"Did you dump Richard?"
"No."
"Which monster are you with tonight, bloodsucker or flesh-eater?"
"None of your damn business," I said.
"Fine. Pick the monster of your choice tonight, Anita, have a good time. Tomorrow we start trying to keep you alive." He hung up. If it had been anybody else, I'd have said he was angry about me dating a vampire. Or maybe disappointed would be a better word.
I hung up the phone and sat there for a few minutes, letting it all sink in. Someone was trying to kill me. Nothing new there, but this someone was hiring expert help. That was new. I'd never had an assassin after my butt before. I waited to feel fear wash over me, but it didn't. Oh, in a vague sort of way, I was afraid, but not like I should have been. It wasn't that I didn't believe it could happen. I did believe. It was more that so much else had happened in the last year that I couldn't get too excited yet. If the assassin jumped out and started shooting, I'd deal with it. Maybe later I'd even have an attack of nerves. But I didn't get many attacks of nerves anymore. Part of me was numbing out like a combat veteran. There was just too much to take in, so you stop taking it in. I almost wished I had been scared. Fear will keep you alive; indifference won't.
Somewhere out there, by tomorrow, someone would have my name on a to-do list. Pick up dry cleaning, buy groceries, kill Anita Blake.
3
I stepped back into the living room and caught Richard's eye. I was sort of ready to go home. Somehow, knowing an assassin was out there, or would be soon, had put a damper on the evening.
"What's wrong?" Richard asked.
"Nothing," I said. I know, I know, I had to tell him, but how do you tell your sweetie that people are trying to kill you? Not in a room full of people. Maybe in the car.
"Yes, there is. You've got that tension between your eyebrows that means you're trying not to frown."
"No, I'm not."
He smoothed his finger between my eyes. "Yes, you are."
I glared at him. "Am not."
He smiled. "Now you are frowning." His face sobered. "What's wrong"
I sighed. I stepped closer to him, not for romance but for privacy. Vampires had incredibly good hearing, and I didn't want Robert to know. He'd tattle to Jean-Claude. If I wanted Jean-Claude to know, I'd tell him myself.
"It was Edward on the phone."
"What does he want?" Richard was frowning now, too.
"Someone tried to hire him to kill me."
A look of total astonishment blossomed on his face, and I was glad his back was to the room. He closed his mouth, opened it, and finally said, "I would say you're kidding, but I know you're not. Why would anyone want to kill you?"
"There are plenty of people who would like to see me dead, Richard. But none of them have the kind of money that's being put out for the hit."
"How can you be so calm about this?"
"Would it solve anything if I had hysterics?"
He shook his head. "It's not that." He seemed to think for a second. "It's that you're not outraged that someone's trying to kill you. You just accept it, almost like it's normal. It isn't normal."
"Assassins aren't normal, even for me, Richard," I said.
"Just vampires, zombies, and werewolves," he said.
I smiled. "Yeah."
He hugged me tightly and whispered, "Loving you can be very scary sometimes."
I wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my face against his chest. I closed my eyes, and for just a moment I breathed in the smell of him. It was more than his aftershave; it was the smell of his skin, his warmth. Him. For just a moment, I sank against him and let it all go. I let his arms be my shelter. I knew that a well-placed bullet would destroy it all, but for a few seconds, I felt safe. Illusion is sometimes all that keeps us sane.
I pushed away from him with a sigh. "Let's give our regrets to Catherine and get out of here."
He touched my cheek gently, looking into my eyes. "We can stay if you want."
I nestled my cheek against his hand and shook my head. "If the shit hits the fan tomorrow, I don't want to spend tonight at a party. I'd rather go back to my apartment and cuddle."
He flashed me that smile that warmed me down to my toes. "Sounds like a plan to me."
I smiled back because I couldn't not smile back. "I'll go tell Catherine."
"I'll get the coats," he said.
We did our various tasks and left early. Catherine gave me a very knowing smile. I wished she was right. Leaving early to jump Richard's bones beat the heck out of the truth. Monica watched us leave. I knew that she and Robert would report back to Jean-Claude. Fine. He knew I was dating Richard. I hadn't lied to anybody. Monica was a lawyer at Catherine's firm—frightening thought all on its own—so she had a legitimate reason to be invited. Jean-Claude hadn't arranged it, but I didn't like being spied on, no matter how it came about.
The walk to the car was nerve-racking. Every shadow was suddenly a potential hiding place. Every noise a footstep. I didn't draw my gun, but my hand ached to do it. "Dammit," I said, softly. The numbness was wearing off. I wasn't sure it was an improvement.
"What is it?" Richard asked. He was suddenly scanning the darkness, not looking at me while he talked. His nostrils flared just a little, and I realized he was scenting the wind.
"Just jumpy. I don't see anyone out here, but I'm suddenly looking too damn hard."
"I don't smell anyone close to us, but they could be downwind. The only gun I smell is yours."
"You can smell my gun?"
He nodded. "You've cleaned it recently. I can smell the oil."
I smiled and shook my head. "You are so blasted normal, sometimes I forget you turn furry once a month."
"Knowing how good you are at spotting lycanthropes, that's quite a compliment." He smiled. "Do you think assassins would fall from the trees if I held your hand right now?"
I smiled. "I think we're safe for the moment."
He curved his fingers around my
hand, and a tingle went up my arm like he'd touched a nerve. He rubbed his thumb in small circles on the back of my hand and took a deep breath. "It's almost nice to know that this assassin business has unnerved you, too. I don't want you afraid, but sometimes it's hard to be your guy when I think you may be braver than I am. That sounds like macho crap, doesn't it?"
I stared up at him. "There's a lot of macho crap out there, Richard. At least you know it's crap."
"Can this male chauvinist wolf kiss you?"
"Always."
He leaned his face downward, and I rose on tiptoe to meet his mouth with mine, my free hand against his chest for balance. We could kiss without me going on tiptoe, but Richard tended to get a crick in his neck.
It was a quicker kiss than normal because I had this itching in the middle of my back, right between the shoulder blades. I knew it was my imagination, but I felt too exposed out in the open.
Richard sensed it and pulled away. He went around to the driver's side of his car and opened his door, leaning across to unlock mine. He didn't open the door for me. He knew better than that. I could open my own bloody door.
Richard's car was an old Mustang, sixty something, a Mach One. I knew all this because he had told me. It was orange with a black racing stripe. The bucket seats were black leather, but the front seat was small enough that we could hold hands when he wasn't using the gear shift.
Richard pulled out onto 270 South. Friday night traffic spilled around us in a bright sparkle of lights. Everybody out trying to enjoy the weekend. I wondered how many of them had assassins after them. I was betting I was one of the few.
"You're quiet," Richard said.
"Yeah."
"I won't ask what you're thinking about. I can guess."
I looked at him. The darkness of the car wrapped around us. Cars at night are like your own private world, hushed and dark, intimate. The lights of oncoming traffic swept over his face, highlighting it, then leaving us in darkness.
"How do you know I'm not thinking about what you'd look like without your clothes on?"
He flashed me a grin. "Tease."
I smiled. "Sorry. No sexual innuendo unless I'm willing to jump your bones."
"That's your rule, not mine," Richard said. "I'm a big boy. Give me all the sexual innuendo you want, I can take it."
"If I'm not going to sleep with you, it doesn't seem fair."
"Let me worry about that," he said.
"Why, Mr. Zeeman, are you inviting me to make sexual overtures to you?"
His smile widened, a whiteness in the dark. "Oh, please."
I leaned toward him as far as the seat belt would allow, putting a hand on the back of his seat, putting my face inches from the smooth expanse of his neck. I took a deep breath in and let it out, slowly, so close to his skin that my own breath came back to me like a warm cloud. I kissed the bend of his neck, running my lips lightly up and down the skin.
Richard made a small, contented sound.
I curled my knees into my seat, straining against the seat belt so I could kiss the big pulse in his neck, the curve of his jaw. He turned his face into me. We kissed, but my nerves weren't that good. I turned his face away. "You watch the road."
He shifted gears, his upper arm brushing against my breasts. I sighed against him, putting my hand over his, holding it on the gear shift, keeping his arm pressed against me.
We stayed frozen for a second, then he moved against me, rubbing. I scooted out from under his arm, settling back into my seat. I couldn't breathe past the pulse in my throat. I shivered, hugging myself. The feel of his body against mine made places all over my body tighten.
"What's wrong?" he said, his voice low and soft.
I shook my head. "We can't keep doing this."
"If you stopped because of me, I was enjoying myself."
"So was I. That's the problem," I said.
Richard took in a deep breath and let it out, sighing. "It's only a problem because you make it one, Anita."
"Yeah, right."
"Marry me, Anita, and all this can be yours."
"I don't want to marry you just so I can sleep with you."
"If it was only sex, I wouldn't want you to marry me," Richard said. "But it's cuddling on the couch, watching Singing in the Rain. It's eating Chinese and knowing to get that extra order of crab Rangoon. I can order for both of us at most of the restaurants in town."
"Are you saying I'm predictable?"
"Don't do that. Don't belittle it," he said.
I sighed. "I'm sorry, Richard. I didn't mean to. I just . . ."
I didn't know what to say because he was right. My day was more complete for having been shared with Richard. I bought him a mug that I just happened to see in a store. It had wolves on it, and said, "In God's wildness lies the hope of the world—the great fresh, unblighted, unredeemed wilderness." It was a quote from John Muir. No special occasion, just saw it, knew Richard would like it, bought it. A dozen times a day I'd hear something on the radio or in conversation, and I'd think, I must remember and tell Richard. It was Richard who took me on my first bird-watching trip since college.
I had a degree in biology, preternatural biology. Once I'd thought I'd spend my life as a field biologist like a preternatural version of Jane Goodall. I'd enjoyed the bird-watching, partly because he was with me, partly because I'd enjoyed it years ago. It was like I'd forgotten that there was life outside of a gun barrel or a grave side. I'd been neck deep in blood and death so long; then Richard came along. Richard who was also neck deep in strange stuff, but who managed to have a life.
I couldn't think of anything better than waking up beside him, reaching for his body first thing in the morning, knowing I'd be coming home to him. Listening to his collection of Rodgers and Hammerstein, watching his face while he watched Gene Kelly musicals.
I almost opened my mouth and said, let's do it, let's get married, but I didn't. I loved Richard; I could admit that to myself, but it wasn't enough. There was an assassin after me. How could I involve a mild-mannered junior high teacher in that kind of life? He was one of the monsters, but he didn't accept it. He was in a battle for leadership of the local werewolf pack. He'd beaten the current pack leader, Marcus, twice, and twice refused the kill. If you didn't kill, you didn't get to be leader. Richard clung to his morals. Clung to values that only worked when people weren't trying to kill you. If I married him, his chance at any kind of normal life was gone. I lived in a sort of free-fire zone. Richard deserved better.
Jean-Claude lived in the same world that I did. He had no illusions about the kindness of strangers, or anyone else for that matter. The vampire wouldn't he shocked at the news of an assassin. He'd simply help me plan what to do about it. It wouldn't throw him, or not much. There were nights when I thought that Jean-Claude and I deserved each other.
Richard turned off onto Olive. We were soon going to be at my apartment, and the silence was getting a little thick. Silences don't usually bother me, but this one did. "I'm sorry, Richard. I am truly sorry."
"If I didn't know you loved me, this would be easier," he said. "If it wasn't for that damned vampire, you'd marry me."
"That damn vampire introduced us," I said.
"And he's regretting it, don't think he isn't," Richard said.
I looked at him. "How do you know that?"
He shook his head. "All you have to do is see his face when we're together. I may not like Jean-Claude, and I hate the thought of you with him, but we aren't the only two hurting here. It's a threesome, don't think it's not."
I huddled in my seat, suddenly miserable. I'd have almost welcomed a hit man appearing out of the darkness. Killing I understood. Relationships confused me. Admittedly, this relationship was more confusing than most.
Richard turned into the parking lot of my apartment building. He parked the car and turned off the engine. We sat there in the dark, the only illumination the distant glow of a street light.
"I don't know what to say,
Richard." I stared out through the windshield, concentrating on the side of the building, too cowardly to look at him while I talked. "I wouldn't blame you for just saying to hell with it. I wouldn't put up with this kind of indecision from you, and I wouldn't share you with another woman." I finally looked at him. He was staring straight ahead, not looking at me.
My heart sped up. If I was truly as brave as I thought I was, I'd have let him go. But I loved him, and I wasn't that brave. The best I could do was not sleep with him. Not take the relationship that next step forward. That was hard enough. Even my self-control wasn't limitless. If we'd been planning a wedding, I could have waited. With an end in sight, my self-control would have appeared endless, but there was no end in sight. Chastity works better if you don't keep testing it quite so often.
I unbuckled the seat belt, unlocked and opened the door. Richard touched my shoulder before I could get out. "Aren't you going to invite me up?"
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and turned back to him. "Do you want to be invited up?"
He nodded.
"I don't know why you put up with me," I said.
He smiled. He leaned into me, a light brush of lips. "Sometimes I'm not sure, myself."
We got out. Richard held his hand out to me, and I took it.
A car pulled in behind us, beside my own Jeep. It was my neighbor, Mrs. Pringle. She had a huge television box tied into her trunk.
We walked to the sidewalk and waited for her to get out. She was a tall woman, stretched almost painfully thin with age. Her snow white hair was done in a bun at the back of her head. Custard, her Pomeranian, jumped out of the car and stood yapping at us. He looked like a golden powder puff with little cat feet. He bounced forward on stiff legs. He sniffed Richard's foot and looked up at him with a small growl.
Mrs. Pringle tugged on his leash. "Custard, behave yourself."
The dog quieted, but I think it was more Richard's steady glare than Mrs. Pringle's admonishments. She smiled at us. She had the same light in her eyes that Catherine had had. She liked Richard and made no bones about it.
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