But calmness – much like her flat stomach – was obviously going to be a thing of her past. Her psyche had been cast into chaos and her mind insisted on analyzing every possible scenario regarding the alien passenger she had squatting in her womb. Her thoughts continued to scatter into multiple directions, moving at Mach speed as her heart and feet struggled to keep up. How could she even consider keeping a baby given her current circumstances? She might be as progressive as the next girl and firmly of the belief that a man was never a necessity, but even she knew how important two parents were to a child. She couldn’t have imagined growing up without both her Momma and her Daddy.
But she was not at all interested in sharing parenting duties with the daddy in this desperate dilemma. Not at all. Abel Turner was the bane of her existence. Sure, he was a very sexy, stunningly charismatic bane, but still a nuisance of the first degree.
And she couldn’t be a good momma anyway, she reasoned silently, biting her lip as she continued to run at a breakneck pace. That much had already been settled in her mind. Give her a kid that was four or five, and she might be able to make it work. But the whole completely-dependent-upon-you-for-every-possible-need-including-wiping-butts-and-projectile-spit-up was not in her vocabulary. Fuck that particular life lesson! She had already learned everything she needed or wanted to know about life, thank you very much. She didn’t need any more lessons.
So where did that leave her? Her footsteps faltered for a moment as she drew in a harsh breath, her burning lungs begging for a bit more air as she started up a slight incline as she forced herself to consider the final option - an option that she would bleed to make sure every woman had available to her.
Could she do that?
Could she make the hard choice that she believed all women had the right to make?
She had always said that it should be a free right, just as much as the freedom of speech and the freedom to make a complete ass out of yourself on Main Street.
But as she tried to think about what that would involve, what that would truly mean, she suddenly remembered seeing her niece in the delivery room on the day she was born. Mere seconds after her sister, Harmony, had screamed and pushed that ugly little wrinkled thing out of her abused hoo-hah, Patience had winced as the infuriated baby had screeched to high heaven as she was placed on Harmony’s stomach. And as bad as Harmony’s life had been...as horrible as the circumstances had been concerning Heaven’s conception and birth had been….all four of the McKinnon sisters had cried, laughed and cuddled together to welcome that baby that they already loved into the world.
Shaking her head as she tried to clear the memories from her still rattled brain, she put an extra spring into her gait as she veered off onto a side path. Very few Paradise runners ran this area because the grade was steep in places, but she always felt a bit victorious afterward when she did. Hopefully today would be no different and if luck was on her side, she’d outrun some of this pain that had found her.
“Okay, chick,” Patience muttered aloud to herself as she ran high above the babbling brook. “You keep the kid, you deal with the consequences. You don’t, you still deal with the consequences. Either way, you’re screwed.”
The devil that always sat on her shoulder took that opportunity to sneakily remind her that she had already been screwed once – quite literally. Nobody knew, though. If she chose to eliminate this pregnancy, who’d really be any wiser? What consequences would there be to the easiest choice of all...and make the entire thing just go away? One quick trip to Atlanta this week, a short visit with a doctor, and a weekend in a five-star hotel with room service would solve all of her problems, wouldn’t it? No one would be hurt by her decision because nobody would know, right? Life could return to normal in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.
Couldn’t it?
There was just one tiny problem with her plan.
She would still know what she’d done. And somehow, she had a feeling that she would never get over that choice, no matter what she had previously told herself. And as much as she refused to consider a future with that sexy son of a bitch who had put her in this situation, she couldn’t help but think of him, too. She wasn’t sure she could ever look at him in the eyes again if she made this decision without at least talking to him first.
Swallowing hard as she drew to a quick stop, she pressed the back of her hand to her lips for a moment. It was in that moment that Patience McKinnon really wished that she could talk to her Momma one more time– just for a little bit. Even though she knew her mother wouldn’t be at all happy with what she had done or the thoughts going through her mind, she still wished she could just get five more minutes with the woman that had given birth to four daughters. Was that too much to ask?
Unfortunately, she knew it was. Her Momma was in heaven and had been for several years. Not to mention that Patience herself was a grown woman who ran a business, and she was responsible for making the big decisions on her own now.
The sound of pounding footsteps behind her suddenly interrupted her thoughts, and she glanced warily over her shoulder. Seeing the familiar friendly face of the town sheriff about ten feet behind her, she threw up a hand in quick greeting. Great. Now she had company on her little soul-searching escape. Trust it to be the only other runner in Paradise County who could take these hills better than she could.
Zeke drew up beside Patience, grinning as he took in her red face and messy hair as she bent over at the waist, her palms planted against her thighs. “You look like you’ve been rode hard and put up wet, woman. You racing toward something or running away from it?”
Damn. Did the man have to be so frickin’ perceptive? Was it printed on her forehead? Had God put the 666 mark on her when she wasn’t looking? It would be just her luck that she was carrying the Anti-Christ. Abel Turner had obviously implanted her with the spawn of Satan, after all.
“Patience?” Zeke queried warily as he watched storm clouds gathering in the woman’s expressive eyes. “Honey, are you okay?” he asked as one fat teardrop escaped the corner of her eye. Taking a half step closer, he touched her elbow. “What’s going on and whose ass do I need to kick?”
The concern in his voice was humbling, and Patience thought – not for the first time – that when her baby sister finally let down her walls and let the Sheriff completely into her life, Honor was going to be a very lucky woman. Shaking her head, she felt her throat tighten. “It’s nothing,” she wheezed, shaking her head and dashing one hand over her wet cheek, cursing herself for being such a girl.
“Uh huh. Try again,” Zeke replied, his voice a low rumble as he watched Patience try – and fail – to get a hold on her emotions.
Biting her bottom lip as she felt a sob rise in her chest, she inhaled deeply through her nose.
“Darlin’, you’re family,” Zeke reminded her gently. “Whatever it is, you know I’ll help if I can. You can talk to me about whatever the hell put that look in your eyes.”
“You can’t help with this, Zeke,” Patience whispered, her words thick as she shook her head firmly. Sniffling, she straightened her shoulders. “What’re you doin’ up this way anyhow? Usually, you just stick to the trail around the pond.”
Zeke snorted. “Yeah, I took my physical last week. Seems some asshole chose to share my cholesterol level with your little sister. Honor is holding the bacon and ham hostage until she gets a better report on me. Figured I’d take a shot and try to sweet talk her out of at least a piece of sausage this morning and that I might have a better chance at that if I showed up sweaty from my workout.”
Patience laughed. “For somebody that claims she don’t give two figs about you, my baby sister sure does watch your diet like a hawk,” she chuckled, thankful that Honor wasn’t privy to the current conversation. If she knew that Patience was sharing her secrets, she’d skin her alive – or worse, refuse to make any more peanut butter fudge pies for her.
Zeke smiled faintly, pleased. “That she does. But between you and m
e, I wouldn’t have it any other way. One day…” He trailed off, staring off in the distance.
“Yeah, one day,” Patience agreed softly, bumping his shoulder with hers as they both gazed off into the mountains, both content to settle into the moment of silence.
“So,” he said after a few beats of quiet between them, “What’s this thing that you don’t think I can help with?” Watching as Patience jerked her alarmed gaze toward him, he tilted his head and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting. “You didn’t think you’d distract me with a chat about Honor, did you? I mean, she’s my favorite subject, but I care more than a fair bit ‘bout her sisters, too.”
Patience couldn’t help smiling, albeit weakly. What Zeke said wasn’t a secret. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for her or her sisters, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do if it meant making Honor smile. She often thought he might truly be the last of a dying breed – the honorable man. “Zeke,” she whined, grimacing.
“Patience,” he mimicked, matching her tone.
Biting her lip, she considered telling him. He’d know soon enough anyway. It wasn’t like she’d be able to keep this kind of secret quiet long. And she knew without even a promise from him that he’d maintain his silence. Zeke was just good like that. “I’m pregnant, Zeke.”
Watching as his eyes widened slightly and his nostrils flared, Patience knew he was tamping down on his anger. “I’m gonna kill ‘im,” she heard him growl ferociously.
Patience blinked. “Who? I haven’t even told you…”
Zeke nailed her with a furious stare. “You don’t need to tell me who it was, Patience. I already know.”
“What? How?” Patience snapped, her hands dropping to her hips.
“Sweetheart, only one man could have sweet talked his way into your bed, and we both know who that is. Hell, you haven’t been the same since the night of Harmony and Jake’s party. I just thought you two had another fight, but you weren’t fighting at all, were you?”
“No,” Patience whispered. “Our fight came after.”
Running one hand down his face, Zeke finally dropped it to stare down at her. “Anybody know yet?”
Patience shook her head. “Just you. I just took the tests this morning.”
“Tests?” Zeke echoed, one eyebrow arching.
“Yeah, thirteen of ‘em. All positive,” Patience grumbled, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.
Zeke’s lips twitched. “That’s a whole lot of confirmation, Sugar.”
“You ain’t kidding,” she muttered, kicking a rock off the gravel path. “I kept hoping that just one of them would tell me what I wanted to hear. But, nope. All of them said the same thing. Evidently, while my God was taking a vacation, the fertility gods were busy plannin’ my downfall into motherhood.” Blinking back tears again, she swallowed hard. “I was on the pill, Zeke. I swear, I wasn’t being irresponsible. I just… I don’t know what happened.”
“Honey, you do the dance, you’re takin’ the chance,” Zeke chided gently, settling a warm hand on the nape of Patience’s neck as she bent her head for a moment.
Glaring at him a second later, Patience snorted. “Thank you for that, Sheriff. I must have missed that day in sex ed. You caught me right the hell up, and you missed your callin’. You should have been a poet.”
Zeke smiled and winked at her. “True, but you ain’t almost crying on me anymore, are you? Instead, you now look like you wanna snap my head right off my shoulders. Between you and me, I see that as an improvement.”
Patience laughed involuntarily as she realized that he was right. “I guess you’ve got a point,” she admitted, giving his arm a little shove.
“I don’t like it when any of you girls cry, but you and Honor more than the rest. Honor’s cried enough in her life and hell, you and tears go together about as well as oil and water, sugar,” Zeke surmised while Patience offered another watery laugh. Waiting a moment, he continued softly. “So, what’s the plan here, Patience?” he asked calmly as they both began to walk toward the entrance of the park. “You gonna do this or go another route?” he questioned carefully, looking at her from the corner of his eye.
“You mean have an abortion? I don’t know,” she acknowledged quietly. “I need to talk to…hell, I don’t even know. Honestly, I wanted to talk to my momma, but that’s just not gonna happen. But I’ve got my sisters. They’ll help me figure it out.”
“You do and they will,” he agreed with a firm nod.
“Honestly, if I can’t have my Mom right now, I think I’ll approach Honor first. Faith has hit her cruising altitude with her pregnancy and is still surfing that noxious baby high. To tell the truth, I just don’t think I can listen to her tell me how great this all is gonna be and what a miracle giving life to a kid is. That sister of mine definitely has eaten all that pregnancy propaganda up like candy. And Harmony… with the wedding and her and Jake getting settled into married life, I just don’t wanna rain on her parade. Honor is honestly the one person I can count on just to listen to me. Well, I mean, she’ll listen once she gets done screaming bloody murder. I’m just scared.”
“Nothing wrong with bein’ a little scared, darlin’. It shows you aren’t an idiot. Only fools are fearless, and you ain’t never been foolish. As for Honor, she’s good at that - the listening thing,” Zeke murmured. “You might have to give her a beat to overcome the shock, but she won’t judge you if that’s what’s concernin’ you. You know, of all people, your sister wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t have that kind of heart.”
“No, she won’t, although I dread the thought of disappointing her. You know as well as anybody that Honor is sensitive about the whole sex thing. After everything she’s been through, I can’t blame her, but I know this won’t be exactly a comfortable conversation for her to have with me. I know she prefers to think that all we girls are as chaste as nuns even if she does know better. ”
“Honey, you couldn’t disappoint her if you tried. She loves you. She’s going to want whatever you want. I guarantee you of that. Though, I’m thinking that she won’t mind seeing Abel stripped naked, covered in honey, and hung upside down over a bee hive.”
Laughing at the thrill that visual gave her, Patience nodded. “You’re probably right about that.”
“Mind me asking what happened between you and Abel?” Zeke asked. “Besides the obvious, I mean,” he added with a pointed look at her still mostly flat belly. “That night…. I really thought he was finally going to man the hell up. Everybody knows that asshole has kept one eye on you for years. I really thought he was serious about…”
Holding up a hand, Patience shook her head. “Stop,” she ordered softly, turning to face the Sheriff. “He was serious, Zeke. At least, I thought he was. At the time, I think he thought he was. The next morning, he said he wanted more from me… from us.”
Zeke frowned. “He did? Then why in the hell…” he trailed off again when Patience threw a hand up in the air again.
“It’s complicated, Zeke. Abel said that he wanted a relationship. I didn’t think I did. I mean, I still don’t think I do. Words were exchanged. For a couple of weeks, he hammered away at me…tried to get me to change my mind and try to make things work with him. And I thought…maybe. But then….then, she came back,” Patience whispered, her face clenching with pain. “Now, it’s all just fucked.” Her voice broke on the last word.
Zeke didn’t need to ask who the she was in question. Oh, he knew who it was as well as he knew his own name – and he hated the bitch. Absolutely despised her. Sighing, he draped a comfortable arm around Patience’s hunched shoulders. “Hell, little sister, there’s not much we can do about the arrival of the she-devil. The courts say she’s gotta be here. She’s Fuentes legal counsel. Trust me, if I knew of a way to make her disappear without drawing the attention of half the judicial system, I’d have already dumped her body in one of the ravines out by Miller’s Cove and told God she died of natural causes.” He had his own problems with Abel�
��s notorious ex-girlfriend, and Patience wasn’t the only one worried about the damage the other woman could do to a relationship. He’d shared one night… one stupid night with the bitch almost a decade ago. It hadn’t meant anything to him then, and it meant even less to him now. He’d been drunk and she’d been willing, but he knew if Honor ever learned about that indiscretion… well, the results wouldn’t be pretty. It might well destroy them before they ever got a chance to start. Hell, that qualified to him as potentially catastrophic. Of all the attorneys that Diego Fuentes could have hired, it just had to be the one woman guaranteed to fuck up the most lives in Paradise. Abel’s former flame had slept with almost every man with a working dick before she left town three years ago, and as much as it disgusted him now, he’d been one in that number. He also knew that Angela wouldn’t hesitate to use any of her previous relationships to hurt somebody if she felt like she could use it to her benefit and draw blood.
That thought alone was enough to make a cold shiver run the length of Zeke’s spine.
Hell, he wasn’t the only unfortunate bastard that had fallen into the honey pot Abel’s ex had provided to any man that had wanted a sample. Abel’s own brother, Cain, and Zeke’s brother, Ice, had also each indulged with the woman. All of it had happened before Angela had ostensibly settled down with Abel, but when the shit hit the fan three years ago, they’d all learned that Angie hadn’t been nearly as faithful during her relationship with the lawyer as they’d all thought she’d been.
Patience snorted as she listened to Zeke and gave his idea of killing her enemy some serious consideration. If only she had thought of that very thing a few weeks ago when Angela Hastings had made her triumphant return to their fair town. Although Angela was an accomplished attorney now, she had been the bane of Patience’s existence when they were in high school together...and if the graffiti that had been painted on the old stone bridge out on Ravenwood Road was any barometer, the woman had obviously done everything possible during teenage years to earn the nickname “Easy Angie”, too.
Ready, Willing and Abel (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnon Sisters Book 3) Page 8
