“Why do I feel you’re not talking about Jen?”
“Because I’m not,” she said quietly. The sound of raindrops outside had Nina moving toward the opening to the tree house. “We’d better get in the house. The ladder is a little slippery when it’s wet. I have the scar on my leg to prove it.”
“I thought you said you never fell from the tree house.”
“Okay, I fell off the bottom rung of the ladder. That hardly counts as falling from the tree house.”
They carefully made their way down the ladder. By the time both of them had reached the bottom, the rain was coming down hard. The cold rain seeped through her shirt and jeans quickly as they ran to the house. By the time they stepped inside the house, both of them were soaked.
“Mom and Dad took all the towels that were in the upstairs bathroom. I know I have some towels and sheets in some of the boxes I’m bringing with me. I just need to find them.”
Nina slipped out of her sneakers and left them by the sliding glass door. Then she rummaged through one of the boxes in the kitchen. A chill raced through her. She’d been foolish to go out to the tree house this time of the year without a jacket on and now she was paying for it. She chose another box and ripped open the tape she’d used to secure it earlier.
“Let me help you find those towels,” Gray said.
He stood next to her, so close that she could feel the heat of his body next to her chilled skin. She finally found the box filled with sheets and blankets.
“This is better than nothing. I’ll find the towels tomorrow,” she said, her voice breathless from standing so close to Gray. Did he have any idea what he did to her? How could he not know? And yet, as a woman, she was invisible to him. She had always been.
Gray looked at the goose bumps raised on her arm. “You’re an ice cube. Let me get you warm,” he said, pulling one of the sheets from the box and wrapping it around her. He rubbed up and down her arms soothingly.
“I’m good,” she said, unable to stand the contact any longer. She pulled away and walked into the other room. When she made it to the living room, the lights flickered. “Ah, do you remember which box I put the flashlight in? I think we’re about to lose power.”
“Maybe we should start a fire?” Gray said, standing by the door to the living room. “If the heat goes out, it’ll keep us warm, especially now that we’re both so wet.”
“There’s some dry wood in the bin on the front porch. There isn’t much left, but I think it’ll be enough to make a fire for tonight.”
Gray disappeared out the front door and walked across the covered front porch to the wood bin. Nina took that moment to steady herself and to look for the flashlight she’d seen earlier. There were still boxes scattered around the kitchen. Some were things she’d be taking with her wherever she went. Others were boxes that she planned to donate to the Salvation Army.
She heard the front door close and then Gray’s boots on the wooden floor as he walked across the living room to the fireplace and then the tumble of logs on the floor. Nina continued to search in boxes. She’d probably only need a flashlight tonight. The power never stayed out too long, except for when they’d had the ice storms last year. They’d lost power for almost a week. But as long as she could find one flashlight and then get enough wood to keep the fire burning tonight, she’d be fine.
Tomorrow she’d finish cleaning and figure out her next step. As she glanced around the room, searching for another box she hadn’t looked through, sadness engulfed her. In a few short weeks, she’d be turning her back on all her childhood memories and her old life. The thought of it was overwhelming. She felt Gray’s hand on her shoulder.
“Maybe I should stay,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
Her breath caught in her throat. “Why?”
“I don’t want to leave you alone. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Disappointment she shouldn’t have a right to feel came at her in waves. “I’ve been alone before. I’ll be alone when I leave here. What makes tonight so different?”
He smiled weakly. “You know what I’m talking about. Besides, do you really think I’m buying this tough act thing you’ve had going on?”
“Tough act?”
“You pretend you’re so strong, as if you’re not affected by all that’s happening around you.”
“I have no control over it. What am I supposed to do?”
“Cry. Yell. Throw a temper tantrum.”
She chuckled. “I do not throw tantrums.”
“Oh, no? I thought all women did that.”
“Try telling your sister that.”
Gray laughed. “My sister is the queen of tantrums. She’s got a hot temper that would rival a steam ship. She blames it on having to put up with four brothers her whole life.”
“Ah, the injustice of it.”
“See, I knew you’d see it my way.”
Nina chuckled. “I didn’t exactly say that.”
He took a step closer. “Come on. It’s me you’re talking to. What’s with the walls?”
“I don’t have walls.”
“You may not see them, but I do. All the time. You let me in a little. I start to see that vulnerable side of you and then you close yourself off.”
“Funny.”
“What?”
“I didn’t think you saw me at all.”
She’d said too much. But what did it matter? She had nothing to lose. As of tomorrow, her life was going to change completely. Everything was wide open. That made her braver than she’d ever felt.
“What are you talking about? I see you. I like what I see. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”
“I—” The lights went out, cutting Nina off from what she was about to confess. She wasn’t sure if she were glad or annoyed by the sudden intrusion. Since she hadn’t found the flashlight, she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and opened the app for the flashlight. Once it was turned on, she placed her cell phone on the counter to illuminate the room.
Gray let out a groan. “I’ll get that fire started before it gets too cold in here.”
“Sounds good.”
He left the room and Nina closed her eyes. What was she doing here with Gray?
* * *
The fire Gray started in the fireplace was crackling and throwing off an amazing amount of heat that felt wonderful. Nina had shut the pocket doors between the hallway and the living room to keep the heat inside the room.
While Gray had been building the fire, Nina had used that time to make a makeshift bed for herself on the floor with the blankets and sheets she’d managed to find in the boxes in the kitchen.
“I’m staying the night,” Gray said. “I don’t feel comfortable with you here alone with the power out.”
She drew in a slow breath and looked directly into his blue-gray eyes.
“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for you to stay, Gray.”
“Why not? We’re nothing if not friends.”
She chuckled wryly, wanting to weep at the same time. “Then…I’d want you to stay for all for the wrong reasons.”
His eyes flared with awareness. His voice was husky and low as he spoke. “Maybe they’re the right ones, Nina.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “What could possibly be right about you staying here with me?”
Gray scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don’t know. I keep telling myself I should leave. I’ve kept telling myself this all day. I wanted to do this for Jen. Except, that’s a load of bull. I’m not here right now for Jen. I didn’t do any of this for her. I did it for me. I wanted to see you. You’ve been on my mind ever since I saw you at the rodeo. I can’t get you out of my mind.”
“Really?”
“You look at me sometimes, and I wonder what you’re thinking.”
She turned away.
“Don’t do that. You’re putting up walls again. I keep wondering if you’re thinking what I’m thinking.”
He touched h
er cheek, sending shivers throughout her body until she trembled beneath his touch. He had to be able to feel it. And when she looked into his eyes, she knew he saw her response as clear as day.
“Just say it,” he whispered. “It’s what I want, too.”
A surge of emotion slammed against her chest. “I want…you to kiss me. I want you to hold me.”
She turned to walk away, unable to bear seeing the raw emotion in his eyes. But Gray caught her arm and kept her from fleeing.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t, Gray. This is too much.”
“Don’t you think we’ve both done without long enough? What harm could possibly come from holding each other?”
A chuckle escaped her lips. “What harm? You love my sister.”
He swallowed. “You and I both know that was over a long time ago.”
“But if she—”
“Let’s not play the ‘what if’ game. No good comes from that.” He tugged at her arm gently, coaxing her to him. She wanted him. She wanted so much more than just a simple kiss. She wanted to burn with him as hot and strong as the fire warming the room.
Feelings she’d pushed aside when she’d first learned that Gray had started dating Jen came flooding back to her. Those same feelings had invaded her mind and her heart when Jen had gotten sick. But Gray had been so broken then. They all had been. And now…
“No what ifs or could haves or might haves,” he said. “Just truths. What else is left? We owe it to ourselves to put it all out there.”
“Truths,” she repeated quietly. “The truth is…you didn’t meet Jen by accident. I told Jen about you.”
He cocked his head to one side, confused by her words.
“I remember the day we met at that rodeo in Casper. Jen had given up on barrel racing a long time before that, so I started going to rodeos alone. Do you remember that day?”
“Of course.”
“We sat the whole day after our runs and watched the rodeo up in the stands, just talking. I needed to get home, but I stayed because I wanted to be with you.” She took a deep breath and let the memories of how they’d started flood her mind. “I made sure I went to every rodeo after that. I’d already decided to go back to school then. Do you remember?”
“I remember us talking about it.”
“My dad was hounding me to finish my degree and get that last semester done with. So I figured I’d go and get it done with so I could get him off my back and I could get back to rodeoing again. But I kept telling her you and I were just friends. Jen knew something was up. Or more important, that there was someone I wanted to see. But I kept telling her we were just friends. I never told her how I really felt. She suddenly became so curious that she wanted to come and meet the cowboy I kept talking about.”
She glanced up at his face, trying to gauge his reaction to her confession.
“She came with me to that last rodeo and I introduced you to her.” Nina shook her head. “I don’t blame Jen for falling for you. I did. But I’m not like Jen. I didn’t have a string of boyfriends in high school. I didn’t want men coming in and out of my life. I…just wanted someone special. But Jen is different. I think deep down she knew I felt more for you than I was letting on. But she couldn’t help herself. And she got you.”
Nina wanted to run away from Gray’s probing stare.
He swallowed hard. “She…she never told me any of this.”
“Why would she? As soon as she met you, she was head over heels. And I was gone. She all but forgot that I’d had the biggest crush on you.” Nina chuckled, feeling heat rise up her cheeks. “Crush. I sound like a little schoolgirl. And you know, after that, that’s exactly how you saw me when we saw each other at the Sioux City rodeo. I was Jen’s younger sister. It was like you’d forgotten that we knew each other first.”
He shifted his weight to one side. “I had no idea you… I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s done. When I realized you both had feelings for each other, I stopped going to the rodeos and went back to school. Jen kept going to see you. She had you.”
His face grew dark. “You’re say that the only reason she kept riding was because of me?”
“She wanted to be with you. She saw you so infrequently because of your work schedule that she didn’t want to take you away from what you loved. So she started competing again. Her heart wasn’t in it though. Not the way it was for me. You were the only reason she went.”
Gray closed his eyes as if to shut out an awful sight. “She should have never gone out to Cheyenne. It was too long a drive for her to take with the horse. I would have driven the rest of the way myself but I had that damned meeting the next day in New Castle and she dropped me off there. I knew she was tired. If she’d only told me how she really felt about it, I wouldn’t have expected her to go to Cheyenne at all. Hell, I wouldn’t have gone.”
“Bingo. That’s why she didn’t say anything. Look, you can’t blame yourself for her accident. She made a choice. That same thing could easily have happened on one of these back roads. She’s not the first person to fall asleep behind the wheel.”
He drew in a deep breath and turned away. “Sometimes I feel like my life with Jen was just an illusion. Like it never really happened. Seeing her through your eyes is so much different than what I remember. I wish she’d just told me the truth.”
He was quiet a long moment. The crackling of the fire burning a moist log cut into the silence.
“Well, that takes care of that,” Nina said, straightening an already neat blanket she’d placed on the floor for a lack of something better to do during the awkward silence.
“What?” Gray said.
“Truths have a way of killing the conversation.”
“Truths have a way of setting you free.”
She glanced up at him and saw the dark regret on his face. “I don’t feel very free.”
“How do you feel?”
She stood up again and hugged her middle. “Exposed.”
“Well, here’s a truth. I was sorry you stopped coming to the rodeos. With or without Jen. I told her so.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I knew why you’d stopped coming to rodeos in the beginning. I knew you were in school. But after that… I missed you.”
“It doesn’t really matter anymore. Life goes on. And it will for all of us.”
“What I’m wondering is where it’s going to take you.”
“I don’t know. Just not here. There’s nothing for me here anymore now that everyone is gone.”
“Not everyone.”
He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers, igniting a fire that had been dormant inside her for so long.
#
Chapter Seven
Reaching up, Nina touched Gray’s cheek. It was soft against the stubble of hair on his face. He gazed down at her and his lips stretched into a coy smile as her fingers lingered on his cheek. She didn’t seem to mind the rough feel beneath her fingers. He leaned into her touch and when his mouth came down over hers again, he kissed her harder. A swell of emotion threatened to break free from his chest, but he didn’t care. He wanted Nina like he’d never wanted anything before.He brushed his hand down her back and rested it lightly on her bottom. She responded by pressing herself against his arousal. The aching need that consumed him was more than he could handle.
She opened her mouth slightly in an invitation to deepen their kiss. His tongue danced with hers, tasting her and he realized he wanted more. So much more.
He pulled back and took a deep breath as he gazed down at Nina. “You are so beautiful. Have I ever told you that before?”
She shook her head as she gave him a shy smile.
“Then I was a fool.”
He looked down at the makeshift bed Nina had made herself using the extra blankets. There was no pillow. Just an overstuffed quilt and a few sheets. But it would do.
“It’s been a long
time for me, Gray. I’m not…”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Ssh. It doesn’t matter. It’s been a long time for both of us. Right now I want to be with you.”
“Yeah?”
“I want you, Nina. Make no mistake about that. But I want you to be sure.”
She reached down and grabbed the bottom of her T-shirt and pulled it over her head, exposing her cream and black lace bra. He knew there was something sexy underneath that T-shirt. It had teased him all day. And now that he had the pleasure of seeing it, he wanted it gone. He wanted more. He wanted to see the beautiful flesh it was hiding.
“I want to hear you say it,” he whispered.
He reached behind her and with trembling hands, he slowly unclasped her bra. All the while he looked into her amazing blue eyes to see if there was any hint of protest or of indecision. When the clasp was free, he pulled his hands away and waited.
Nina slipped the bra off her shoulders and let her breasts spill out of the cups so she was gloriously naked on top for him to see.
“Do you really need me to say the words?” she said, giving him a sexy grin.
He raised his eyebrows.
“I want you, Gray. I’ve always wanted this.”
With her words, he crushed her against his chest and kissed her again. Only then did he realize he was still wearing his damp clothes. He wanted to feel her body pressed against his naked chest. He wanted his flesh on her flesh. He wanted it so badly that he thought his mind would explode.
Nina reached between them and stroked his hard arousal that was pushing against the confines of his jeans, and it nearly sent him over the edge.
“Slow down,” he said, trying to hold onto his control.
“Why? I want you inside me, Gray.”
She took a step back and unfastened her jeans before pushing them down her legs. His eyes searched the inside of her pants and finally concluded that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. His heart slammed against his chest with the realization.
Gray watched Nina as if his eyes were feasting on her. Swallowing hard, he pulled his damp shirt off in one swift motion and then rid himself of the rest of his clothes, tossing them across the room in a heap.
His Dakota Heart Page 7
