Ashleigh moved behind her and gently slipped the ever-present ponytail from Erica’s hair. Erica didn’t stir as Ashleigh ran her fingers through the dark glossy waves as they cascaded over her neck and shoulders. Ashleigh leaned down and whispered close to her ear. “Baby, wake up.” Erica murmured something unintelligible and looked up with heavy-lidded eyes.
“I’m sorry that you had to eat cereal,” Ashleigh said softly. “It’s time for you to go to bed.”
Erica rubbed her eyes and blinked. “Have you been crying?”
“I was earlier, it’s nothing bad, though,” Ashleigh said, putting her hand to her face.
Fully awake, concern etched Erica’s brow. “Talk to me.”
“I talked to Vicki tonight.” Ashleigh sat on the corner of Erica’s desk. “It went well. We cried and laughed, it was really good.”
Erica smiled and took Ashleigh’s hand into hers, squeezing gently. “I’m glad for you.”
Ashleigh crinkled her nose. “Are you really glad? Because they asked us over for lunch on Saturday and I accepted.”
Erica looked taken aback for spilt second then masked it with a smile. “Of course.”
“Thank you,” Ashleigh said before placing a kiss on her forehead. “Now I’m going upstairs to run you a bath.” She stood and moved to the door.
“Ash, I’ve got some more work to do.”
“I know,” Ashleigh said as she paused in the doorway. “You have dark circles under your eyes and it’s obvious you’re exhausted. You’ll work more efficiently if you have a good night’s sleep.”
Erica couldn’t argue the point. She didn’t think she had the strength to climb the stairs. She stood and took Ashleigh’s outstretched hand and cut off the light on her way out.
Chapter Thirteen
“I hear we have a lunch date,” Kaitlyn said the next morning when she picked up Erica.
Erica handed Kaitlyn a travel mug, then placed hers into the cup holder as she climbed into the car. “Katie, you need to buy a truck or something that doesn’t sit on the ground.” Erica tossed her briefcase into the backseat of Kaitlyn’s Accord.
“This car suits my little body fine. I need to be able to see over the steering wheel,” Kaitlyn said with a yawn. “And quit changing the subject.”
Erica took a sip of her coffee and sighed contentedly. “Yes, we have a lunch date on Saturday. I assume that you and Drew will be joining us.”
“You don’t sound like you’re looking forward to it.” Erica was silent, causing Kaitlyn to glance from the road. “Can you put that away?” Kaitlyn pointed at the cell phone. “We’ll be at the office in a few and you can read your e-mail then.”
Erica sighed and dropped the phone into her lap. “I fell asleep last night and didn’t get anything done. And yes, I’m looking forward to going. I’d like to meet Vicki and Chantal.”
“And you wanna size up Alex, too,” Kaitlyn said with a grin but refused to look away from the road.
So that’s her name, Erica thought, and realized that Ashleigh had never called her by name. “Ashleigh told me she wouldn’t be there. That was the first question I asked her this morning. It’s just going to be Vicki and Chantal. She’s not ready to see everyone else yet.”
Erica had been so sleepy the night before, but the minute her eyes opened that morning, Ashleigh’s ex came to mind. She wondered how Ashleigh would react to seeing her ex. She’d casually questioned Ashleigh as they dressed and found herself relieved and disappointed that she would not be meeting the woman who had turned Ashleigh’s life upside down.
As she collected her things later that morning, she noticed that she’d not shut her computer down the night before. Erica watched as Ashleigh moved to the table and sat to eat her breakfast. Her fingers worked furiously over the keyboard as she searched for pictures of the woman that she’d only caught a glimpse of in the video.
“Hmm, there you are,” Erica whispered as the cover of the debut album filled her screen. She didn’t need to read the list of names in the accompanying press release to know who was who. Ashleigh was facing another band member and the look of total adoration on her face was unmistakable.
Long legs encased in leather led to a long jacket that hung mid-thigh. Her face was to the side, showing only her profile, but her smiling dark eyes were turned to the camera. “I knew you would seek me out,” they seemed to say.
“I hope you’re overweight and frumpy now,” Erica said softly to the taunting image that stared back at her.
“You fall asleep?” Kaitlyn asked as she pulled into the parking lot.
Erica opened her eyes and sat up straight with a yawn and lied. “Yes.”
Kaitlyn killed the engine and put a hand on Erica’s arm when she reached for the door handle. “Are you gonna be okay, really?”
Erica leaned back in the seat and stared out the windshield. “Ashleigh needs to do this and I’m going to support her, but I’m nervous.”
“About?”
Erica looked over at Kaitlyn; a faint smile filled her face. “I’m not really sure.”
Kaitlyn returned the smile. “I’ll be there with you.”
She’d spoken to Vicki on Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday moved at a snail’s pace, giving Ashleigh plenty of time to rethink the lunch idea. She’d tried to push it from her mind, but Drew could talk of nothing else, and Erica didn’t speak of it at all.
Ashleigh stood in her closet looking at rows of clothes; nothing was suitable. She tugged at a pair of shorts and denim button-down shirt. It was a cookout, a casual thing. She settled on the outfit pleased that it seemed to say, I’m not interested in trying to make an impression. She wanted to appear nonchalant, even though she was nervous as hell.
Nerves got the better of Ashleigh as they drew closer to Baton Rouge. Ashleigh reached over and took Erica’s free hand as she drove. The warmth of it seemed to cause the nausea to subside. Drew chattered away in the backseat, saving her from having to speak. She was sure if she did, they would notice the bundle of nerves that she’d become.
“I’m looking forward to the Mississippi Mud Pie,” Erica said as she merged onto the interstate. In ten minutes, they’d be on Vicki’s doorstep. “I think you should let me sample it now.”
“It’s good,” Kaitlyn said with a mischievous laugh. “I sampled it this morning.”
Drew looked down at the dish and pulled away the plastic lid. “You shit, you did.”
Drew’s cursing and Kaitlyn and Erica’s laughter helped to put Ashleigh at ease. But when they pulled into the circular drive in front of the brick residence, Ashleigh wasn’t sure she could climb from the vehicle.
“Baby, I’m sure they’re nervous, too.”
Ashleigh looked over at Erica, who now stood at the open door and held out her hand. Drew and Kaitlyn were already standing in the driveway waiting patiently—well, Kaitlyn was. Ashleigh took Erica’s hand and felt herself being led up the driveway. She heard the knock, the sound of the door opening, then finally Vicki’s voice as she greeted Drew and Kaitlyn, who were thankfully ahead of her.
When she found the courage to look up from the ground, Vicki was standing there with teary eyes and her arms open wide. Ashleigh moved into the embrace and felt Vicki’s body tremble with sobs as she held her tight. She could hear Chantal’s familiar voice welcoming Erica into their home. Vicki released her and held her at arm’s length as she stroked her face. “Oh, God, Ash.” Tears streamed down her face, and she pulled her close again, squeezing her as if she were afraid to let go.
“Vic,” Chantal said in mock frustration. “Share.”
Chantal’s smile was huge as she pulled Ashleigh into her arms and hugged her tight. She could still feel Vicki’s hands on her back keeping the connection. “Look at you,” Chantal said as she stepped back. “I’m not lying when I say you’re prettier now. The aging process has been very kind to you.”
“You must be Erica,” Vicki said as she latched onto Erica and hugged her. “It’
s so great to meet you.”
“Okay, let’s not stand in the foyer all day.” Chantal took Erica by the arm and led her into the house. Ashleigh felt Vicki drape an arm around her waist as they moved into the den. Drew acted as though she was at home and strolled into the kitchen where she put the dessert in the fridge. “Can I get anyone anything to drink while I’m raiding your refrigerator?”
Vicki moved into the kitchen just off the den as Chantal led Erica to the sofa and gestured for Ashleigh to take a seat next to her. Erica and Chantal were talking, but Ashleigh failed to comprehend any of the conversation. She watched as Vicki and Drew laughed and talked while making drinks as though they were lifelong friends. All of it seemed like a dream. Instead of being a participant, Ashleigh felt as though she were floating along, watching it all unfold.
When Vicki handed Ashleigh a drink, Ashleigh found herself studying the face that she remembered with great affection. Faint lines had formed near Vicki’s eyes and around the corners of her mouth. Her dark hair was shorter and straighter now, but those were the only discernable changes. Her voice as she spoke to Erica was the same as it had always been. She was the same, yet everything was different.
Conversations were going on all around her, but Ashleigh couldn’t concentrate on any of it. Her gaze roved around the room, taking in the comfortable surroundings, then settled on the polished baby grand that sat in the corner. She squinted at the framed photos, recognizing a few of the band and several of Vicki and Chantal. There were also some of Jaclyn and Lindsay and a few of Alex smiling alongside a different woman in each. Ashleigh felt a pang of regret, not for her loss of Alex, but of friends who had been closer to her than her own blood.
Erica’s laugh at something Chantal was saying drew Ashleigh’s focus back to the group. Vicki sat across from them and was studying her the way she did the first day they’d met a lifetime ago. Her dark eyes had no doubt noted every fine line on her face, the slight tremble in her hands, and the way she sat so close to Erica it looked as though they were joined at the hip.
“It’s so good to have you here,” Vicki said as she wiped at her eyes that had grown moist again.
Ashleigh smiled, unable to speak. She wanted to ask, Don’t you hate me, even just a little? They seemed so happy to have her there. She could feel and see their love for her, but it was so hard to accept. And then Ashleigh realized she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Eventually, they’d get around to telling her how shitty it was for her to walk away without so much as a word.
“I can’t just sit here and pretend that everything is normal.” All conversation ceased and everyone turned to look at Ashleigh, who felt her face growing hot. When she’d found her voice, it came out a bit louder than she intended. “I just walked out,” Ashleigh said, gesturing with her hands, as if no one in the room understood her point. “Scream at me, do something, but don’t pretend we just lost touch over the years.”
“Okay.” Chantal set her drink down and held up a hand as Vicki tried to intervene. “You broke our hearts. Especially hers,” Chantal said, nodding in Vicki’s direction. “I was angry, and twenty years ago, I would have torn your ass to shreds for doing what you did, but that’s just the point. It was twenty years ago.” Chantal’s voice softened. “I understand why you left, but why cut us out of your life?”
As painful as it was to hear Chantal speak her mind, Ashleigh began to relax. “It was just so much easier to run away.” Ashleigh felt Erica’s arm slip around her waist. “I didn’t want to be forced to think about why and what I was doing. I didn’t want to debate the pros and cons. I just wanted out.” Ashleigh took a shuddering breath. The room was silent as everyone waited for her to continue. She stared at the floor unable to look at Vicki and Chantal.
“After a month or two had passed, I thought about getting in touch, but I figured that you all hated me at that point and I was afraid to face up to it. Then I woke up one morning and a year had passed, and it was just too late.” Ashleigh swallowed hard. “I spent so many years hating Alex, blaming her for everything, but when I was finally honest with myself, it was me I hated. I was the one to blame.”
Chantal exhaled loudly. “We could never hate you, Ash. It just hurt us…all of us.”
“Please forg—” Ashleigh’s words were buried in Chantal’s shoulder as she pulled her into a hug.
“You’re forgiven,” Chantal said through her tears. Ashleigh felt Erica’s arm slipping from her waist, giving room for Vicki to join in on the hug. When finally they did release each other, Ashleigh noticed Kaitlyn and Drew huddled together sniffing and passing a box of tissues between them. Erica didn’t meet her eyes; instead she stared at the floor. But it no longer felt like a dream. It was real now, and Ashleigh felt her life beginning again at that moment.
Photo album upon album was dragged from every closet and bookcase. Drew, Erica, and Kaitlyn were going through each one as Chantal explained the stories behind some of the more embarrassing moments caught on film.
“Would you like to see the rest of the house?” Vicki asked when Chantal began another tale.
Ashleigh took her hand, welcoming the escape, and followed Vicki down a hall off the den. “This is our guest room,” Vicki said as she switched on a light. “I should say it’s Jaclyn’s room.” Vicki rolled her eyes. “She stays with us at least once a month when she and Lindsay find something new to fight about.”
Ashleigh moved into the room, taking in the décor. It was definitely Vicki’s touch. The rug and curtains matched the muted colors of the plaid comforter on the bed. Nothing floral, all sharp lines, and, of course, impeccably clean. The surfaces in the connecting bathroom shined, accented by the shower curtain and rugs that matched everything in the bedroom. Vicki was still the neat freak that Ashleigh remembered her to be.
“Jac and Lindsay still fight like they used to then?” Ashleigh picked up a brass bell from the bedside table and raised a brow.
“Oh, yes, you can near about set your clocks by them. The bell was for Alex when she had her accident. I keep it as a reminder of the time she spent here.” Vicki moved toward the door.
Ashleigh followed her down the hall to the next room that served as a home office. Both Chantal and Vicki had a desk. Vicki’s was immaculately organized, and Chantal’s was a wreck. Ashleigh smiled at the arguments she was sure it caused. “What kind of accident?” Ashleigh asked as they moved toward the master bedroom.
“She was broadsided by a drunk.” Vicki moved into the master bedroom. It was no mystery who slept where. One bed stand was covered in magazines and assorted junk. The other was tidy. “Look at this.” Vicki moved across the room and opened doors to the twin closets. Clothes and shoes littered the floor of one, while the other was organized. “I love my little pig,” Vicki said with a shrug, “and one day, I’m gonna lose it and roast her ass.” Vicki walked over and looped her arm through Ashleigh’s. “Let’s go out back, and I’ll tell you about Alex because I can tell you’re pretending not to care.”
They slipped through the French doors off the bedroom that led to a private sunporch separated from the rest of the backyard. “This is my haven.” Vicki let out a contented sigh as she took a seat and gestured for Ashleigh to join her. “Do you really want to hear about Alex?”
Ashleigh studied the wall of foliage that surrounded the porch and obscured it from the rest of the yard. She would have to plant one of these at home and make her own secret garden. “To be honest, I’m curious about her.”
“Stands to reason,” Vicki said with a slight smile. “She’s changed a lot over the years. I don’t think I truly realized how much until she had to stay here.” Vicki laughed. “Momma McKinney hired someone to tend to Alex once she was released from the hospital. Alex broke her arm, left leg, and a couple of ribs, and couldn’t do much for herself, but she wasn’t about to have a stranger make her use a bed pan. That’s when it got ugly. She called me practically begging to save her.”
Ashleigh tried t
o imagine the proud woman that she’d known begging anyone for help. “So her mom is still the same?”
Vicki nodded emphatically. “She only visited Alex once in the hospital, then arranged for someone else to care for her.” The disgust was apparent in Vicki’s tone, but the smile returned. “We got really close when we moved her in with us. She was an awful patient at first. She resented not being able to bathe herself or even dress on her own. I guess I would’ve felt the same in her position.”
“I cannot imagine Alexandra McKinney allowing you to bathe and dress her. It must’ve been torture for you both.”
Vicki threw back her head and laughed. “Bathe her? No way. She demanded that I put a lawn chair in the bathtub and hook up one of those handheld showerheads. No,” Vicki shook her head with a laugh, “there was no bathing Alex. I’d help her undress and dress, which included a lot of profanity on both our parts. I saw so many sides to Alex then, and not just the naked ones.” Vicki looked into Ashleigh’s eyes as her face grew serious. “She’s got her regrets, too…she’s…” Vicki shook her head as if searching for the right words. “She’s not what she wanted everyone to believe she was. I hope when you two see each other again, all the hurts of the past will stay in the past.”
Ashleigh plucked a leaf from a neighboring plant and toyed with it. “I know I have to face her. I’m not as nervous about seeing her again as I was you and Chantal.”
“So you’ll come back next weekend for a barbecue? We get together nearly every Sunday.”
Ashleigh found it hard to reject the offer. She wanted to see the rest of her bandmates, but it was the hopeful look on Vicki’s face that she couldn’t deny.
“I’m touching your grill,” Chantal called from somewhere behind the foliage, “and I’m armed with chicken covered in marinade.”
Vicki rolled her eyes and grinned. “Be right there, dear.”
“Okay, but hurry because something’s on fire that I don’t think is supposed to be.”
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