Erica stood stunned as Ashleigh brushed past her. Was she leaving? Erica walked on shaking legs and gripped the kitchen counter. Ashleigh wouldn’t leave. She’d come downstairs after she’d had time to think and round two would begin. They would work it out, but something felt different this time.
After about twenty minutes, Erica realized that she’d been standing in the same spot staring out the kitchen window when she heard Ashleigh coming down the stairs. She turned to see her standing in the middle of the kitchen with a suitcase in hand and a backpack slung over her shoulder.
“We obviously need some time apart to figure out if what we have is worth…” Ashleigh’s words trailed off as she looked down at the floor. “This is not working for either of us.” She moved toward the door slowly as if she was gathering the courage to walk out. “Call me if you want to. I’ll leave that up to you.”
The slamming of the door jolted Erica. Her mind refused to accept what had just transpired. Was the end of their relationship this simple?
Chapter Twenty-three
“You look like hell.” Kaitlyn grinned as she walked into Erica’s office. “Serves you right for having us here on a Sunday.”
Erica stared at the computer screen as Kaitlyn took a seat in front of her desk. “She’s gone.”
“Gone?” Kaitlyn repeated.
“She left me this morning. She’s gone.”
“Gone where?” Kaitlyn rose to her feet.
“Obviously, not your place, or you wouldn’t be asking so many questions.” Erica winced and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry, I’m bitchy.”
“What happened?” Kaitlyn perched on the corner of Erica’s desk.
Erica shook her head. “I don’t really know. I admitted that I was having problems with all the changes lately, and she…I guess she’s pissed that I’m not being supportive.”
“You two need to just sit down and—”
“And talk?” Erica slammed her hands on the desk. “Talk about what? We’ve been like strangers lately.” Erica’s voice broke. She leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling, fighting the tears that threatened. “I need some time alone,” she rasped out a minute later when her composure returned.
“All right then.” Kaitlyn sounded bewildered. “I’ll be in my office. Call me when you want to go over the status reports.”
“Not today. We’ll go over them tomorrow. Just finish your reports for the meeting tomorrow morning and take the day off.”
“Erica—”
“Please just leave me alone for a while.”
Erica listened as Kaitlyn shuffled out of her office and down the hall. She wished that she hadn’t asked her to work with her. She wanted to be alone in her office, her safe haven, but couldn’t stand the thought of going home, being in the house, alone.
“You can stay here as long as you need to.” Vicki stroked Ashleigh’s hair while she lay with her head in her lap. “You know we’re thrilled to have you.”
Ashleigh’s head swam. What had happened? After everything was said and done, Ashleigh still couldn’t believe that she’d walked out.
“I feel like I’ve contributed to this,” Vicki said guiltily. “I’ve been dominating a lot of your time and pushing you to be more involved with the band. I never even considered that Erica may’ve been feeling neglected.”
Ashleigh sat up with a groan. She’d cried all the way from St. Francisville, and her inflamed sinuses caused her head to ache. “I asked you to push me, remember?” Ashleigh sniffed and nearly started crying again at the pain it caused. “She had no reason to feel neglected. She could’ve come with me, but she was always working. That was her choice.”
“Maybe she didn’t have a choice, Ash. You said that she’d just taken over the business from her father. I imagine she’s got a lot on her shoulders.” Vicki averted her eyes when Ashleigh looked at her. “She’s had a lot of change to cope with.”
Ashleigh bit her lip as anger welled anew. The last thing she needed was for Vicki to point out what Erica was going through. She needed Vicki’s empathy. Needed someone to pat her on the back and help her justify walking out on a five-year relationship. “I need to take a shower,” Ashleigh said as she stood. “My head is killing me.”
“And a nap.” Vicki looked up at her. “There’s some sinus meds in the drawer to the left of the sink in your bathroom. Bathe and lay down for a while. Things are easier to cope with when you’re rested.”
Ashleigh nodded and headed toward the guest room. She turned at the hallway and looked back at Vicki. “Thank you for taking me in.”
“Always, sweetie,” Vicki said as she watched Ashleigh disappear. She walked into the kitchen, opened a soda, and took a long swallow when Alex appeared at the side door.
“Can you help me with this?” Alex bounded through the door and dropped her laptop onto the kitchen counter hard enough to break it in half. “I’ve been working on this damn thing all morning, and I can’t figure it out. None of the lines will add up. I hate Excel. I hate it!”
“Doesn’t your assistant normally handle this?” Vicki opened the notebook surprised to see it was still in one piece.
“Maternity leave.” Alex impatiently drummed her fingers on the counter. “She’ll be back next week, but I thought I could get this finished on my own, so she wouldn’t be so swamped when she came back in.”
“Did you walk over here?” Vicki noted that Alex had not mentioned seeing Ashleigh’s car in the driveway.
“Came through the hole in the fence as usual, why?”
“Take a seat.” Vicki nodded toward a barstool. “I’ll be finished with this in a sec, then I want to talk to you.”
Alex did as she was told and waited none too patiently, still drumming her fingers on the countertop.
“How much coffee have you had this morning?” Vicki asked as she pushed the computer aside.
“Lost count at six cups.”
“Alexandra McKinney, you know what the doctor told you about your caffeine intake.”
“I know what your doctor said about soda, and there sits one.” Alex pointed at the half-empty can Vicki was lifting to her lips.
“Touché, jackass.” Vicki poured the rest in the sink and turned back to Alex.
“So did you just want to lecture me about coffee or is there something else?” Alex squirmed in her seat.
“Ashleigh’s here.” Vicki watched Alex’s gaze dart to the den with interest. “She and Erica are going through a rough spot and she’s going to stay here for a while.”
Alex frowned and looked back at Vicki. “And this is where the lecture comes in. ‘Stay away from her. Keep your hands and lips off of her.’ Really, Vicki, I’ve heard it enough. After all this time, do you really think that’s necessary?”
Vicki leaned on the counter and took Alex’s hand. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I know what’s going on in that head of yours, and I don’t want either of you to get hurt. She’s in love with Erica, it’s obvious, and you’re—”
“Not falling in love with Ashleigh.”
“You fell a long time ago, and I don’t think you’ve ever gotten over it.”
Alex averted her eyes and spoke softly. “If I had been in love, I wouldn’t have cheated on her.”
Vicki held Alex’s hand in her palm and stroked the back of it softly with her thumb. “I think I know you better than anyone else. Am I right?”
Alex nodded and looked away again.
“I learned so much about you after the accident when you stayed in the same room where Ashleigh is now.” Vicki noted the slight twitch of Alex’s fingers when she spoke Ashleigh’s name. “You’re not the heartless womanizer you pretend to be. Ashleigh got too close. It scared you, and you reverted to your bad habits to push her away. That’s why you cheated.”
“I was twenty-six and had the libido of a teenager.” Alex grinned. “That’s why I did it.”
“Liar,” Vicki said with a sad smile. “Don’t get
attached to her, Alex, or she’ll be the one to break your heart this time.”
“I will consider your recommendation, counselor.” Alex withdrew her hand and picked up the laptop. “Did you make it work?”
Vicki nodded. “Everything adds up now. I could show you how to do it, it’s easy.”
“But then I’d have no reason to storm in unannounced on a Sunday morning.” Alex leaned over the counter and kissed Vicki on the cheek. “Love you.” She opened the door and turned on one heel. “Is she okay?”
“She will be. They just need some time to cool off.”
“I hope things work out for them.” Alex closed the door behind her.
“Liar,” Vicki said under her breath as she watched Alex walk across the backyard. She remembered back to the night when Alex full of pain medication admitted all of her regrets where Ashleigh was concerned. She’d never forgiven herself and doubted that she ever would. This situation would undoubtedly yield a broken heart. Vicki wondered which one it would be.
Two days passed and neither Erica nor Ashleigh bothered to call the other. Vicki noticed that Ashleigh kept her cell phone with her at all times and periodically glanced at it. It was becoming apparent that both women had stubbornly dug their heels in and were waiting for the other to break first. Vicki and Chantal had a private bet on which one would be the first to relent and make the call. They were still waiting.
Alex had not been around since the morning that she brought the laptop over, which was unlike her, Vicki mused while she prepared dinner for the group. Perhaps she’d taken the advice seriously and was keeping a distance.
“I come bearing rolls and dessert.” Jaclyn walked into the kitchen and placed a turtle cheesecake on the counter in front of Vicki, who groaned. “It’s turtle and I made it.”
“You did?” Vicki asked in surprise.
“She did.” Lindsay kissed Vicki on the cheek. “That’s the third one this week. She’s been on a kick.”
“Oh, you sexy bitch,” Jaclyn said as Ashleigh walked into the kitchen and pulled her in for a hug. “Your ass looked so good in those pants on stage the other night. I missed a chord when I looked at it. Did you notice?”
Ashleigh laughed and hugged Jaclyn tighter.
“When are we eating and what are we eating?” Lindsay opened the oven door and looked in. “Oh, it’s that chicken casserole thingy, my favorite.”
Vicki pushed the door closed as Lindsay stood there sniffing. “It’ll cook faster this way.”
“Well, hey, sexy,” Lindsay said as Alex entered the side door off the kitchen. “And who is your friend?” Lindsay walked over to the blonde behind Alex and extended her hand.
“Everyone, this is Lisa.” Alex avoided Ashleigh’s gaze.
Lisa was greeted warmly by all, including Ashleigh, who Vicki noticed appeared to be unaffected by the newcomer’s presence. Alex moved deeper into the room and embraced her bandmates, kissing each one on the cheek. When she hugged Ashleigh, she made it a point to embrace her quickly and back away.
“Lisa, what can I get you to drink?” Ashleigh asked. “I think Vic has just about everything imaginable.”
“Water would be great, please.”
Ashleigh smiled as she passed her a bottle. “Alex, what are you drinking?”
“I’d like one of those.” Alex pointed to the glass of red wine that Jaclyn was sipping.
“Got it.” Vicki poured a glass of cabernet.
“We’re having chicken. You should be drinking white,” Lindsay observed.
“You drink the white. I’ll stick to red.” Jaclyn smirked as Lindsay rolled her eyes.
Vicki looked in on her casserole and at the clock. “I think it’ll be ready by the time Drew and Kaitlyn get here.”
Vicki noticed that Ashleigh looked uncomfortable when she mentioned their names.
“Are you sure you’re okay with them coming?” Vicki asked as the rest of the group meandered into the den.
Ashleigh took a sip of her water and cleared her throat. “I’m looking forward to seeing them. It’s just going to be a little weird seeing them without Erica.”
As if on cue, they heard Chantal welcoming the couple through the door. Ashleigh had barely turned when Drew wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her close. “Hey, love,” she whispered against Ashleigh’s ear. “You okay?”
Ashleigh nodded. “I was just telling Vicki that I missed you.”
“We’ve missed you too.” Kaitlyn pulled Ashleigh in for a quick hug.
The kitchen was alive with several conversations as Ashleigh took advantage of the moment and led Drew outside. She found herself asking about Erica before the door was closed.
“She looks a lot like you do,” Drew said. “Lost, hurt, and generally miserable.”
“I’m glad she has you and Kaitlyn, she needs your support right now.”
“Is that why you didn’t come to our house instead?”
“Yes and no. I knew that she would need you both, but I couldn’t leave and stay close. I don’t think I could handle seeing her leave for work each day.”
“And what about your job?”
“I took vacation.” Ashleigh walked toward the pool. “I had a few days left, but I have to go back tomorrow.”
“It’s a long commute,” Drew said as she came close to Ashleigh.
“It’ll give me time to think.”
“Will you come for lunch like you always have?”
“Yes…maybe.”
“Are you afraid of running into Erica?”
“Yep, but you know that won’t happen. She never comes home for lunch…unless that’s changed.” Ashleigh looked to Drew for confirmation.
“No, her habits haven’t changed. She works all day and comes home late at night.”
“What has she told Kaitlyn?” Ashleigh finally asked as she bent and ran her fingers through the water of the pool.
“Do you really want to know?” Drew didn’t wait for an answer. “She says she thinks you’re looking for an excuse to end a relationship that you’ve grown tired of.”
Ashleigh stood straight up so fast that it made her head swim. “She actually said that?”
“She deals with her pain by getting angry, but when that burns away, she’ll come to her senses.” Drew put an arm around Ashleigh’s waist.
“What a shitty thing to say. If there’s one thing that I’m really good at, it’s walking away. If I would have wanted to end the relationship, I would have already left.”
“And you wouldn’t be hurting as you are now,” Drew said with a squeeze.
“I do hurt, Drew.” Ashleigh laid her head on Drew’s shoulder. “I miss her so much. I feel so…incomplete. But at the same time, I’m so angry with her. Was she willing to love me as long as I did everything her way? Is it too much to allow me an outside interest?”
“It’s not just an outside interest. She’s threatened by something new and by the sexy creature sitting on the sofa behind us watching your every move through the window.”
Ashleigh casually glanced toward the den and saw Alex look away.
“The more you get involved with the band, the closer you’ll grow with her.”
“We’re just friends now like we were before we took things where we shouldn’t have. Alex is no threat to Erica.”
“You say that, Ash, but I’ve seen the way Alex looks at you. Kaitlyn’s noticed it too, and you can be damn sure that Erica has.”
“It doesn’t matter how Alex looks at me. What matters is how I see her. I’ve told Erica time and time again that I’m not interested in Alex.”
“You say that, but there’s something in your eyes too. When you look at Alex, it’s not the same way you look at the other women. There’s something there. When you look at her, are you remembering how it was when things were good?”
Ashleigh turned from Drew and looked down at the sparkling water of the pool and closed her eyes against the light. She did remember. She remembered the way Alex to
uched her and how if felt. When Alex gave in to her advances, it was like taming a wild beast that no one else could control. At one time, Alex gave herself completely, and Ashleigh knew that no one else had ever gotten as far as she did.
“Yes, I do have memories of her, and sometimes I find myself dwelling on them. Seeing her again brings it all back. Wouldn’t you be the same?”
Drew laughed softly. “All my exes are friends like some incestuous family that I can’t move away from. They’ve always just been there, and no, I’ve not looked at any of them and remembered the past. But maybe if I had been separated from them for years,” Drew shrugged, “maybe then I would think back on old times.”
“Would that mean you’d want to rekindle what you had?”
“You have a point, Ash, and I want to accept it without question, but there’s sexual tension between you two. It’s palpable.”
“I’ve never been unfaithful to Erica. I’ve never wanted to, and I don’t feel any different now. Even with everything between us like it is, I have no desire to run to the arms of another. Alex McKinney included.”
“Okay, I just needed to make sure.”
“Vicki is waving us inside.” Ashleigh draped an arm around Drew’s shoulders and led them back toward the door.
“You know that Kaitlyn and I will be there for Erica, but I’m here for you, too, don’t forget that.”
“I know.” Ashleigh squeezed Drew’s shoulders. “I’ll always be there for you too.”
Drew put her hand on Ashleigh’s as she reached for the door handle. “Promise that?”
“Of course I do.”
“If things get too much to bear…don’t run away again. Run to me, promise.” Drew looked into Ashleigh’s eyes.
“Promise.”
It was good to see Drew and Kaitlyn again, but their presence minus Erica put a damper on Ashleigh’s evening. The banter around the dinner table was lively and provided a momentary distraction from the hollowness she felt inside. She wondered if Erica felt betrayed by Kaitlyn and Drew visiting her.
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