Chapter Thirty-three
“How do I look?” Ashleigh walked into the den where Chantal and Vicki were curled up on the couch together. “She said casual. Is it too casual?” Ashleigh looked down at the low-waisted chinos and the white button-down blouse she had tucked into them. “Maybe it’s not casual enough. Maybe I should’ve worn a long-sleeved T-shirt instead.” She pulled the red lightweight sweater from her shoulder. “I’m taking this because it gets chilly at night, and sometimes I get cold in restaurants. Maybe I should put it on now or should I change shirts? Should I—”
Vicki held her hand up. “You look fine.”
“No.” Ashleigh shook her head. “I should definitely go with the long-sleeved T, it’ll look better under the sweater.” She raced from the room, uttering a string of curses about how it was going to mess up her hair to pull the shirt over her head.
“She needs a glass of wine.” Vicki started to rise.
Chantal tugged her gently back down. “She’s on an empty stomach. Wine isn’t a good idea. Besides, it’s good that she’s nervous. It means she still cares what Erica thinks.”
Ashleigh walked back into the room and turned abruptly on one heel. “Not red, green is better.” She disappeared down the hall and returned seconds later with a hunter green sweater draped over her shoulders. The doorbell rang and she froze.
“I’ll get it,” Vicki offered.
“No, I’ll get it,” Ashleigh said as her face flushed. “Wish me luck, and don’t wait up.”
Vicki sprang to her feet as Ashleigh disappeared into the foyer. Chantal caught her by the arm. “Where are you going now?”
“To spy on them. C’mon we’re missing the good part.”
Chantal pulled her back down with a laugh. “Leave them alone. The good part is the goodnight kiss, and I plan on turning the porch light on if they get carried away.”
Erica looked as nervous as Ashleigh felt when she opened the door. “Hi,” she said with a smile, then acted as though she didn’t know what to do. Ashleigh gave her a quick hug, unsure of how to behave.
When she stepped back and gave Erica a good look, she felt her already bounding pulse quicken. Gone was the ever-present ponytail. Erica’s hair hung free in waves over her shoulders and wispy around her face. Ashleigh had always thought Erica was incredibly sexy when she wore her hair down, but tonight she was irresistibly so. Thinner than the last time they’d seen each other, Erica still looked good in the low-waisted jeans she was wearing. The navy blue sweater brought out the blue in her grayish eyes. She was stunning. Ashleigh found herself confronted with an ache of a different kind—desire.
“Ash, you look lovely,” Erica said with dreaminess in her eyes that Ashleigh had not seen in a long time. She took Erica’s hand when she held it out to her, the warmth and familiarity had her stomach doing flip-flops as Erica led her to the—car. Ashleigh stopped in front of a shiny Mustang convertible.
“What did you do with the Forerunner?” she asked as Erica tugged her to the passenger’s side and opened the door.
“It’s a rental.” Erica grinned and winked as she closed the door. She walked around the front of the car and climbed in on the driver’s side.
“What possessed you to do this?” Ashleigh asked as she toyed with the knobs and buttons of the fully loaded sports car.
Erica reached over and took one of her fumbling hands and clutched it between her own. “We bought the Forerunner together. You’re responsible for the coffee stain on the carpet next to the console.” Erica smiled faintly. “There are memories associated with it. Tonight I want to make new memories with no association with the us of the past. This is our chance to start over. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”
Ashleigh smiled as Erica turned the key and cranked the car. This was a real departure from the practical woman she knew.
“I have a dinner plan A and a dinner plan B, which is why I picked you up at such an odd time,” Erica said with a gleam in her eye. “Both include a wonderful meal and pleasant conversation. Should you choose plan A, I’ll put the top up on the car and probably have you back here a little after midnight. With plan B, we leave the top down and throw caution and hair to the wind, and it’ll probably be sunrise before you get back. The choice is yours.”
“And I suppose you’re not going to tell me where we are actually going with either plan.” This date thing was sounding better and better by the minute, and Ashleigh felt herself being caught up in the pleasant delusion.
“The only information I can give you at this time is what I’ve already relayed.” Erica backed the car down the driveway. She stopped just before pulling onto the road, her finger hovering over the car top button. She raised a brow, awaiting Ashleigh’s choice. The glint in her eye said she already knew the answer.
Ashleigh threw her head back and laughed. “God help me, I choose plan B.” Erica graced her with a huge smile and pulled out onto the road. When they left the lower speed limits of the quiet neighborhood and merged onto the interstate, Erica released a howl of pure pleasure as she took full advantage of the five speed.
Ashleigh had no idea that Erica knew how to drive a standard and started to comment when she remembered she had to play along with the first date thing. “So who taught you to drive a stick?”
“My dad did when I was twelve on a dirt road in an old Pinto that wasn’t much more than a glorified go-cart.” Erica glanced over at Ashleigh. “How about you?”
Ashleigh shook her head. “I never learned.”
“There’s no time like the present.” Erica took the first exit they came to and pulled into a deserted parking lot.
“Oh, no, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ashleigh felt a little panicked at the prospect of being behind the wheel.
The car came to a stop and Erica took off her seat belt. “I won’t force you, but you’re missing out on driving a great car if you chicken out now.”
It took Ashleigh a second or two to contemplate her answer, and she surprised herself when she agreed. She eagerly switched places with Erica and listened intently to Erica’s instructions. It sounded easy enough, but she soon learned it was anything but.
“Slowly let off the clutch as you give it gas,” Erica instructed. The engine sounded much louder than when Erica started off, and when Ashleigh let off the clutch, the car leapt forward like a jungle cat and promptly died. Erica and Ashleigh laughed like fools as they repeated the process. They did it so many times that a few people visiting the adjacent convenience store became their cheering section. When Ashleigh finally managed to get the car moving smoothly, the spectators did a three-person version of the wave.
“You have to take over,” Ashleigh said as she slumped back into the seat. “My stomach actually hurts from laughing so hard.”
Erica looked at her watch. “It’s almost time for the appetizers. We better hit the road.”
After swapping seats, Erica merged back onto the interstate and pointed to the stereo. “You’re in charge of music. Find us some good road tunes.” Ashleigh did as she was asked. Between the music and the wind noise, there wasn’t much opportunity for conversation, but it was pleasant just to be in Erica’s company.
Ashleigh wondered how Erica would react if she went with the compulsion to reach over and hold her hand or stroke the side of her face with her fingertips. Would it be too much too soon? The not knowing and the awkwardness that it caused really did make it feel like a first date.
Ashleigh turned the music down when she noticed the direction they were traveling. “Are we going to New Orleans?”
Erica looked over and smiled. “Eventually.”
Ashleigh grinned as Erica exited the interstate and turned off the main highway onto a narrow asphalt road that she doubted would be wide enough for two cars to pass each other. It meandered deep into woods that soon became swampy. When Ashleigh lost all sense of direction, she leaned back in her seat and admired the moss-laden tree canopy above them unt
il she felt the car slow and Erica made another turn.
“Perfect timing.” Erica brought the car to a stop and pushed the button that closed the convertible. “I’m glad you brought a sweater. I was going to suggest it when I picked you up.” Erica smiled as a faint flush crossed her face. “You looked so good, I forgot to mention it.”
The look of genuine appreciation in Erica’s eyes had Ashleigh on the verge of begging Erica to skip the date and just take her home. She could think of nothing she wanted more than to be wrapped in Erica’s arms, but at the moment, all she could hope for was maybe a kiss. They’d done it thousands of times, but as she reached over and tugged at the collar of Erica’s shirt, she felt nerves flutter in her stomach. She saw the realization dawn in Erica’s eyes, then the slight tilt of her head as they moved closer. If she could just taste those lips, then maybe—The sound of a horn made them both jump.
Erica frowned. “I think our ride is about to leave us.”
How many kisses had she taken for granted over the years? Ashleigh wondered as they walked onto the long wooden pier and climbed into the boat that awaited them. “Ladies,” a balding man greeted them with a broad smile. “A glass of wine for the ride?” They accepted a cabernet and moved to the less crowded rear of the boat.
“I’ve always wanted to go on a swamp tour,” Ashleigh said before taking a sip of her wine, which was surprisingly good.
“If I’m lucky enough to get a second date, I’ll take you on one,” Erica said with a hopeful smile. “The restaurant we’re going to is only accessible by boat, but you do get to see some of the swamp on the ride out.”
They were joined by two more couples before Ashleigh could respond. The allure of the scenery couldn’t compete with the woman who sat in front of her. Though they didn’t touch, Ashleigh was certain that it was obvious to those around them that she and Erica were lovers. They sipped their wine, spoke little, but stared at each other with knowing smiles on their faces until the boat came to rest at the dock.
Belle Terre’s Secret sat on what could be loosely termed an island nestled amongst cypress trees covered in moss that swung lazily on the afternoon breeze. Ashleigh listened as Erica gave her name to the maître d’, and they were led up a flight of stairs and escorted to an open upper deck. “If mosquitoes start to bother you, we can move inside, but this is the best seat in the house to enjoy the sunset,” Erica said as they were seated.
“This is perfect.” Ashleigh looked out over the water and the western sky that had begun to fill with various shades of orange and pink. She half listened as Erica ordered appetizers when the waiter arrived. Moments later, the table was filled with food that made her mouth water. Erica smiled at her surprised expression as the waiter filled their wineglasses.
“If I eat all of this, I won’t be able to eat whatever you’re planning on ordering for dinner.” Ashleigh looked at the food laid before them.
“This is not where we’ll be having dinner, unless you see something on the menu that you absolutely must have.”
“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” Ashleigh said before taking a bite of the Crab Claws Provençale and groaning with delight.
“I hope so.” Erica rested her chin in her palm and looked into her eyes. “You’re a lovely woman, Ashleigh.”
The compliment seemed to surprise Erica as much as it did Ashleigh. Erica blinked rapidly as though the words had slipped past her lips unchecked. Her face flushed as she looked away and took a swallow of her wine. She exhaled loudly and looked back at Ashleigh with a smile. “So tell me, what do you do with your spare time?”
Ashleigh shrugged, feeling silly for having to answer a question that Erica so obviously knew the answer to. “I like to garden, and I like to sing. What about you?”
“I like to ride four-wheelers,” Erica said seriously, but it was obvious that she was trying not to laugh.
“You do not!”
Erica shook her head. “You don’t know that. This is our first date.”
“I’m all for the pretending that this is our first date, but you can’t make up stuff.”
“I’m not making anything up,” Erica said, unable to keep her grin at bay.
“Four-wheelers,” Ashleigh said, “as in an ATV.”
“Right,” Erica said with a childlike excitement. “My best friend talked me into getting one. Riding through the mud makes me feel like a kid again.”
“I cannot believe you bought—”
“Play the game, Ash,” Erica said before taking a sip of her wine.
Ashleigh picked up her own glass and took a healthy swallow. Her mind raced with the new revelation. She’s finally gotten a hobby, Ashleigh mused angrily. We break up and she gets a life outside of the office.
“Tell me about your singing.”
“I can’t do this.” Ashleigh set her glass on the table. “I can’t sit here and pretend…” Biting the inside of her cheek, Ashleigh tried to let the anger roll off her. She looked out over the bayou now infused with shades of pink and orange. A few minutes earlier, it had been romantic. Now the remote surroundings made her feel trapped. Tossing her napkin on the table and storming out was not an option.
“Say it,” Erica said calmly. “Say what’s on your mind.”
Ashleigh blew out in frustration and met Erica’s eyes. “I’ve been so lonely for home, for you, and I…hoped that you were feeling the same about me.” A swallow of wine cleared away the lump that formed in her throat. She hoped that the burning in her eyes would subside, and she could convey her feelings without crumbling.
“You’re upset because I’ve found a new hobby?” Erica’s voice was low and calm with a hint of an edge. She reached over and tugged at Ashleigh’s hand until she was forced to look back at her. “I’ve been sleeping on the couch since you left. I can’t stand the thought of sleeping in that bed without you. I’ve been such an emotional mess that my mother has threatened to supply Drew with antidepressants to slip into my drinks.” Erica’s eyes glistened as her voice grew raspy. “So if you think life has been a big party for me lately, you’re very mistaken.”
Erica let go of Ashleigh’s hand and sat back in her chair with a sigh. “I understand how you feel, though. You have your music…your friends, and I go to sleep at night wondering if you think about me…if you miss me.”
“I do,” Ashleigh admitted as a tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped at it angrily as another one slipped from her eye in defiance. “If you want me to give up music, I will. I just want to come home…I want us back.” Erica shook her head sadly, and Ashleigh felt as though she were going to be sick. “You don’t want me back?” The words tumbled out of her mouth.
“I want you back, Ash, more than anything in this world.”
“Then why are we sitting here? Let’s go home,” Ashleigh pleaded, unable to temper the desperation in her voice.
“We can’t go back to what we were, at least I can’t.” Erica looked away. “Things have changed between us, and it’s not going to be the same no matter how hard we try.”
Ashleigh was unable to contain the sob that tore through her. “You brought me out here to break up with me, didn’t you?”
Erica reached across the table and took Ashleigh’s hands into her own. “We already did that, remember?” Erica tried to smile, but her eyes grew shiny again, causing her to blink and look away. “I didn’t want to have this conversation tonight, but I guess it’s inevitable.” She took a deep shuddering breath and blew out slowly.
“Life as we knew it, Ash, is over.” Erica tightened her grip as Ashleigh tried to pull her hands away. “But we have hope. We can start over. It’s not going to be the same, but if we’re both willing, it can be better than it was.”
“I don’t know whether to be happy or sad,” Ashleigh said with a sniff. “I want a second chance, but something in your eyes tells me that you’re going to be sleeping on the couch a bit longer.”
Erica smiled through watery eyes. “I took yo
u for granted, and somewhere along the way, I lost track. One morning, I woke up next to you and realized I really didn’t know who you were.”
“Can’t you forgive me for that?” Ashleigh felt her newfound hope already beginning to wane.
“I have, and that’s not what I meant.” Erica reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Ashleigh’s ear, letting her fingers rest against Ashleigh’s cheek. “What I mean is, you live with someone for so long you stop wondering what makes them tick.”
For the first time since the ordeal began, Ashleigh realized that she’d been guilty of the same thing. The moment of clarity came with the pang of guilt. She’d been angry at Erica for refusing to understand why her foray back into music had been so important to her. But now she was forced to admit that she’d been equally stubborn if not more so.
“I took you for granted, too. I realize that now,” Ashleigh admitted, turning to kiss Erica’s palm. She clutched the hand caressing her cheek and held it against her chest. “I knew you were bothered by the fact that I didn’t reveal my past, and I fooled myself into believing that’s all it was. I changed everything and expected you to adapt. I never asked you how you felt about it all because I was afraid of the answer.”
Erica shrugged. “Maybe it’s all for the best. This upheaval has made me realize I wasn’t deserving of all I had. That’s why I want to start over. I want to get to know you all over again without the mundane things of life getting in the way.”
“So tell me about this ATV hobby of yours again,” Ashleigh said with a smile.
Chapter Thirty-four
It was ten o’clock and they hadn’t even made it to the city. Erica intended for them to have dinner in the French Quarter, but they’d eaten so much at Belle Terre’s Secret that neither of them had an appetite. Erica drove slower as she listened to Ashleigh talk. It took a bit of persuading, but Ashleigh got back into the game. Erica pretended not to know anything of Ashleigh’s past and made her tell it all again.
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